Acknowledgements: I'd like to thank Aaron for his stupidity, which was the inspiration for part of this storyline. Just kidding, Aaron, you're not stupid, but your actions still inspired me.
Ross, Rachel, Monica, and Chandler were sitting at their favorite couch at Central Perk. Monica was sifting through their mail and came upon a fancy envelope. She opened it up and began to read it to herself. "He Rach, do you remember Edith Cranford?" Monica enquired.
Rachel couldn't place the name. It sounded familiar from high school, but other than that she was drawing a blank. "Um, was she the one at the bottom of the pyramid?" she asked.
"No, the valedictorian," Monica corrected.
"Oh, you know, I don't remember her," Rachel said. Rachel was one of the most popular girls from Lincoln High, her old alma mater. Besides Monica, she didn't have a tendency to remember anyone but the cool kids. Even when she first joined what now made up her closest group of friends, she just barely recognized Monica. However, in all fairness, Monica's looks had changed a lot.
Monica knew she could jog Rachel's memory. "She was Nancy Branson's best friend."
Rachel didn't remember Edith Cranford, but she definitely remembered Nancy Branson. Her high school boyfriend, Chip Matthews had dumped her senior year of high school for Nancy. "Oh her," Rachel fibbed slightly, "oh, they were both sluts."
"I'm not surprised you think that," Monica said frankly, "She's marrying Chip Matthews."
"What?!" Rachel asked shocked.
"What, your high school boyfriend Chip?" Ross asked slightly jealous of Rachel's reaction.
"Why do you care Rach? You're already married" Chandler tried to rationalize.
"Still, I don't want Chip to get married. Especially not to Nancy Branson," said Rachel.
"Edith Cranford," Monica corrected.
"Whoever!" Rachel yelled getting frustrated.
This time it was Ross to correct her. "Whomever," he suggested.
"What is it with you Gellers and always being right," Rachel said to herself more than anyone else.
Picking up another announcement, Ross said, "Well, if it makes you feel better, here's one from Mona."
"Wow, she certainly got over you fast," Chandler chuckled to himself.
"Thanks man," Ross said sarcastically to Chandler. Then spoke to Rachel again, "Yeah, apparently she's marrying some guy named Matt Landis. And I'm not upset, because I have you." Ross put the announcement down and kissed Rachel on the cheek.
Rachel was not impressed. Mona probably got the better deal. There was no way that Edith was better than her. "Yeah, whatever," Rachel mumbled, "Chip was probably cheating on me with her," said Rachel recalling Chip's many infidelities.
"This is hopeless," Ross sighed.
Monica looked through the pile of mail further and came upon another nicely decorated envelope. "Oh look, and here's one from Gunther."
Ross turned around to the counter. "You're getting married?" he asked.
"Yeah," Gunther said bluntly. He never did like Ross, mostly because of Rachel's attraction to him.
"So who's the lucky girl?" Chandler teased.
"Jill Green," Monica answered for him.
"Jill? My sister Jill?! And I just find out now?!" Rachel asked outraged.
While Rachel continued on with her tantrum (which was mostly directed at Gunther), Monica continued to fiddle through the mail. She opened yet another fancy envelope and her face quickly fell. "Oh my gosh, here's one from Richard," Monica said sadly.
The others were all quick to come to Monica's aid. Besides Chandler, Richard was the only guy that she truly ever loved. Glad the attention was off him, Gunther said to himself, "I just figured if I couldn't have Rachel, I should marry a Green."
"Richard, Richard?" Chandler asked just to be certain they were clear.
"Dr. Burke is getting married again?" Ross asked for further clarity. He couldn't believe his ears.
"Yeah," Monica choked out, obviously upset by this new information.
"Wow, it looks like you have me beat," Rachel said jokingly.
Chandler felt a twinge of jealousy whenever Richard was mentioned. Maybe he wasn't as tall, or manly, and he couldn't grow a decent mustache, but he deserved Monica. He knew that, he just hoped she did too. "But Mon, remember you're married to me. We both asked you to marry us, and you chose me," Chandler tried to reason. He knew the question was more for his own peace of mind than to help her, but he had to know.
"What if it was a mistake?" Monica asked.
"Mistake? Honey, we're happy, he's happy, what mistake?" Chandler asked desperately.
"We didn't get married because he didn't have children. Do we have children?!" Monica asked angrily.
Chandler had not expected that kind of reaction. "I, uh…next question," Chandler stammered.
Breaking the tension Joey and Phoebe came running through the door. "Guys guess what?" Joey asked excitedly.
"You better not be getting married, or you'll die!" Rachel said. She had far enough wedding announcements for one day.
Joey and Phoebe just looked at each other.
"Uh, no, um, we just…" Phoebe tried to make an excuse for their excitement.
"Got a free meatball sub!" Joey added quickly.
"It figures you guys would be excited about that," Chandler said falling for their act.
Rachel's outburst and Chandler's snippier than normal sarcasm alerted Phoebe that something was wrong. "What's with all the negative energy?" Phoebe asked. "Everyone's auras look all murky."
"Monica wishes she married Richard instead," Chandler pouted.
"What?!" cried Joey.
"I didn't say that. I was just wondering what would be different," Monica explained.
"We all got announcements about our ex's getting married," Ross explained further.
"Yeah, except for Chandler," Monica said bitterly.
"Yeah, well who's he going to get one from?" Phoebe teased before realizing the silliness of everyone's reactions. "Is that what all this is about? I don't see what the big deal is. I got one from David yesterday."
"The scientist guy?" Joey enquired. "And you didn't tell me."
"And you're not upset about this?" Rachel asked Phoebe.
"No, why should I be?" Phoebe said simply. "I have Joey now." She then kissed Joey on the cheek.
"Aww, thanks Pheebs," Joey swooned.
Ross looked at Rachel. "Now why didn't that work with you?"
"Put a sock in it!" Rachel told Ross, clearly still upset.
Joey and Phoebe walked through the streets of downtown Manhattan. Phoebe managed to smooth most of the tension over, but something told her it still wasn't a good time to simply "announce" hers and Joey's engagement.
"Well, how are we going to tell them that we're getting married?" Joey asked.
"It's going to have to be something subtle so they don't get upset," Phoebe said thinking aloud.
"Yeah…" Joey trailed off and then it hit him. "Why don't we get you a ring? You can wear it and then when they see it they'll know."
"That's a great idea!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Joey, you're a genius!"
Joey looked at Phoebe thoughtfully. "You know, you're the first girl to ever say that to me?"
"Oh, what do the rest of them know?" Phoebe said commending Joey.
Joey and Phoebe walked into the nearest jewelry store and Phoebe immediately found a ring that she liked. "Joey, what do you think of this one?" she asked.
Joey picked up the ring. "Let me see," he said judging the ring by putting it on.
"Joey don't!" Phoebe said, trying to stop him, but it was too late.
"What?" Joey asked as he tried to take off the ring but couldn't. "Oh, that," Joey said as he realized that the ring was well stuck onto his finger. He went to the cashier and said certainly, "Yeah, we'll take this one."
After buying the ring, Joey and Phoebe immediately went back to Joey's apartment. There they tried a variety of ways of getting the ring off Joey's finger. "Let's try soap and water," Phoebe suggested, "We'll slide this bad boy right off."
They tried the soap and water, and then Joey tugged at the ring. It continued to refuse to budge.
"Oh, I know! I heard putting your hand in ice and water can work," Phoebe tried again.
Joey readily agreed and they put his hand in a tub of ice. Again Joey tried to take off the ring and again he failed. "Now my hand is just cold," Joey complained.
"Oh, you can try holding your hand above your head. The blood will drain out of your finger and you can slide it off," Phoebe suggested yet again.
Joey did Phoebe's suggestion, and helpless brought his arm back down. Frustrated he said, "Now my hand's asleep. We have to ask Monica."
"No!" Phoebe said panicked. "She'll kill us if this is the way we tell her we're getting married."
"Well, what are we going to do?" Joey asked.
"I guess we'll just have to find some other way to let them know," Phoebe said. "Then when they find out she can help us get the ring off your finger."
"But how?" Joey asked.
Phoebe thought for a while in deep contemplation. Then she shot up. "I have an idea!" she said.
The next day at Monica and Chandler's apartment, Monica went through the mail at the table. "Announcement, announcement, announcement," Monica muttered to herself. "What ever happened to bills?"
Just then Chandler came in holding a magazine. "You'll never guess what I just saw in a magazine," he told her.
"Another wedding announcement," Monica said sarcastically.
"Well, yeah, but you'll never guess whose," Chandler taunted.
"Who?" Monica asked taking the bait.
"Pete Becker!" Chandler said as he flipped the magazine over to reveal the over. On the magazine cover were Pete and his future bride.
"My old boyfriend Pete? Why are you telling me this?!" Monica asked.
"I just thought it was funny," Chandler said.
Monica was not laughing and stared at him hard. "Well here's announcement from Janice funny guy," Monica said handing him one of the announcements from the many.
"Janice? But I thought she was already married," Chandler said confused.
"She was," Monica said matter of factly. "She's announcing her divorce.
Chandler threw the announcement to the floor freaked out. Just then Ross and Rachel came in holding an announcement.
"Oh no, not another announcement," Monica said.
"Yeah, except we can't place who these people are. Their names sound familiar though," said Ross.
Still flipping through her own pile of announcements, she asked, "Who's it from?"
"Ken Adams and Regina Phalange," Rachel said.
"That's weird. We got an announcement from them too. But I don't remember who they are either."
"Aren't those the names Joey and Phoebe used?" Chandler asked cracking the code.
Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Ross came bursting through Joey's apartment.
"You guys are getting married?" Monica confronted.
Sensing that everyone was upset, Phoebe whispered to Joey, "Uh oh, maybe it wasn't a good idea…"
Fed up with the gang's attitude towards announcements, Joey spoke up. "What's up with you guys. You should be happy for us!"
"He's right," Ross agreed.
"Thank you," Joey said feeling he finally got through to them.
""I'm sorry," said Rachel, "I guess I was upset because all these people were getting married and I knew I would never have that again." She clasped Ross' hand and smiled at him.
"Me too, I'm sorry you guys," Monica apologized. "We're very happy for you."
Chandler patted Joey on the back. "Congratulations man. You made it."
Rachel perked up, "Oh, do you have a ring yet? Let me see your hand!" Rachel said as and reached for Phoebe's hand.
"There's a little problem with that," Phoebe admitted.
"What?" asked Monica.
"It's stuck!" Joey whined as he held his hand straight up showing off the ring on his finger.
"Dude! What are you doing wearing a girl's ring?" Chandler asked.
"Phoebe asked me to look at it and I put it on and now we can't get it off," Joey explained.
Naturally, Monica knew exactly what to do. "Here, tie this piece of string around your finger and the ring should come off."
"Here goes nothing," Joey said as he attempted to remove the ring yet again. As he tried the ring popped off. "Thanks Mon!" He handed the ring to Phoebe who then put it on and showed it off to everyone.
"Oh Phoebe, it's beautiful," Rachel said trying not to cry. Then she along with everyone else came in to embrace the happy couple.
A/N: Okay, that's all I have. This is where I hit the major writers block point. I never completed it past this, so if I do more, it's going to have to be up to you guys. I did have a couple of ideas, but nothing fully fleshed out. So I'm open to any ideas. As you may have figured, I try to keep the stories with the same sort of format as the show. I try to have an A & B story (I know the show adds a C, but I never was able to make it that complex). So this is probably the only time I ask; review if you want me to continue, and submit what you'd like to see. I can always use some extra help.
