Basically growing up on the Marine base, Zach's predicament in the season finale hit really close to home. This chapter is for my boys who are overseas right now, and for those who are shipping out in the coming weeks. I love you all, and I pray for your safety and quick return.
This chapter follows later in the evening after the season finale, 2x22 Stargazer in a Puddle. So spoilers for all episodes! And hey, look! The other squints exist!
Chapter 17—Honor
Much later, after everyone had gone home after the reception, Booth sat in his living room, staring at the letter in his hands. He had lost count of how many times he had read it, but he was still having trouble processing the information.
They can't send Zach to Iraq, he thought. Have they even seen him? He'll die over there. No, no, stop that thought right there. He'll be fine. He'll be home soon. Even saying it over and over didn't help reassure him.
Looking at the clock, and then one last glance at the letter, he stuck it in his pocket, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. 15 minutes later he arrived at Hodgins' estate, telling the cab driver at the gate to go away. Pulling up in front of the garage, he jumped out, taking the stairs two at a time. Just as he reached the top, the door opened to reveal Zach dressed in fatigues, carrying a duffel bag.
"Booth, what are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see the agent outside his front door.
"I figured you'd need a ride tonight," he said, unsure of why exactly he was there.
"I called a cab," Zach replied simply, trying to keep his voice from cracking in nervousness.
"The cab can't get onto the base. Let's go," he said, turning and walking back down the stairs, Zach close on his heels.
"Oh," Zach said softly, following Booth to the car.
They drove in silence toward Fort Belvoir, neither sure of what to say to the other. "Thank you," Zach said finally.
As they neared the base, Booth glanced at the clock and noticed they'd made really good time. Pulling off the highway a few exits early, they went through a drive-in Starbucks to get coffee. Pulling out of the parking lot, he thought for a minute, knowing he needed to talk to Zach before he left.
Zach looked at him questioningly, nervousness and fear shining in his eyes.
"You're going to see a lot of bad things over there, Zach," he said, taking a deep breath. "A lot worse than anything you've ever seen here."
Zach just nodded, taking in everything Booth was telling him. The agent had never talked to him this much, and he knew whatever he was saying was important.
"Write home as often as you can, and write to everyone at the lab. Their return letters are going to be the only thing that will get you through this. Believe me, I know," his voice caught as he thought back to when he stopped writing home, and how lost he was when the letters stopped coming for him.
They pulled up to the base in silence, Booth's badge getting them waved right through. The pulled into a parking alongside the vehicles of people who were sending loved ones off.
Climbing out of the car, they stood awkwardly, neither looking at each other. They weren't quite ready to admit this could be the last time they saw each other.
Booth looked around at the young men and women dressed to go, and was reminded of his days in the army. They're just kids… they're too young to see this. Zach, he's a scientist for god's sake. He's not supposed to be out there in that mess. He's supposed to be safe and protected in his lab here. For the first time he was struck with how protective of the kid he was. As annoying as he can be, I owe the kid my job, he thought, and he's one of my squints. I'm supposed to protect him.
As one of the lieutenants called for everyone to say their last goodbyes, Zach turned to Booth, praying that he would see the agent again one day soon. Stretching out one hand, Booth shook it for a moment before pulling him into a brief hug.
Pulling back from the hug, Booth placed a hand on Zach's shoulder, looking him straight in the eye. "Be safe over their, man. I'll be praying for you," he said, still in shock the young doctor was going into the war zone.
Zach just nodded, trying to put on a brave face, although he knew his eyes were showing his terror. "I have 2 months of training in Germany before I get shipped to Iraq. I should be home by February," he said, hoping it was true.
Booth sincerely hoped so too. "Give us a call before you ship out, okay?" he masked his demand as a question, knowing the kid was going to hear enough orders in the coming months.
"Of course. You're going to tell everyone, right?" he asked, thankful Booth would be there to break it to the lab.
"Yes. I'm actually going to get them together when I get back to the city. Before Angela and Hodgins leave in the morning."
"Thank you," he said softly, turning to go.
As he watched Zach walk away, Booth was struck by his utter helplessness in the situation. "Zach!" he called out, hoping the scientist would hear him. He did, and turned to look at Booth. "I'll see you soon, okay?" Booth knew he was pleading a little, but the kid had grown on him, and he didn't want anything to happen.
"I'll see you soon, Agent Booth," Zach replied, turning away for the last time and walking into the building to check in.
As Booth took the long way back to the city, he called Hodgins, Bones, and Cam, telling them to meet him at the lab at 11:00. He spent the rest of the drive contemplating what he was going to say to them. By the time he got back to the city it was nearly time to meet them, and he still hadn't figured out what to say.
They collected in the lounge above the main floor of the lab, all looking as if they'd rather be somewhere else. Booth was the last to arrive, and as he entered, he looked at their questioning faces, unsure of where to begin.
"What is it, Booth?" Hodgins demanded, slightly angry his evening with Angela had been interrupted.
Booth paced along the walk way, feeling four sets of eyes following his movements. After a few minutes he sat down next to Brennan, trying to compose himself to tell them what had happened. His face was in his hands as he thought about how to tell them that their favorite new scientist was gone and may never come back.
Brennan watched him pace and then sit, knowing he was agitated about something, but not able to help unless she knew what it was. "Where's Zach?" she asked suddenly, looking around.
"Booth said he was taking care of it," Angela replied, looking at Booth for an answer.
Sighing loudly, Booth looked up, knowing it was up to him to explain. "I just dropped Zach off," he started softly, not meeting anyone's gaze. He stared at the table instead.
"Where'd you drop him off?" Angela asked, wondering what was going on.
Booth thought for a minute, not quite ready to tell them where Zach was going. Changing the subject, he tried to explain, "Honor and duty are an important part of a man's life. Zach was raised believing in honor and duty, and fulfilling his duty when he was called on to do it."
He knew he was being cryptic, but he didn't know how to come out and say it.
"Where is Zach?" Hodgins asked, determined to get a straight answer out of the agent who seemed to be dancing around the topic.
Glancing at his watch, Booth looked up, making eye contact for the first time since he'd arrived. "Zach is fulfilling his duty, and he believes it is an honor to do so."
Brennan's hand found its way to his knee, squeezing it reassuringly as he tried to continue.
"He's on a plane bound for Germany right now," he stated simply, hoping he wouldn't have to explain any more than that. Actually having to say where he was going made it true, and he wasn't ready to face that truth.
"What is he doing in Germany?" Cam spoke up for the first time. "He didn't tell me he was going on vacation."
Booth turned his attention from Hodgins to Cam, placing his hand over Brennan's and squeezing it. "He isn't going to Germany for vacation. It's the reason he couldn't be your best man, Jack," he explained, turning his attention back to Hodgins.
"Why is Zach in Germany, Booth?" Angela asked, her voice shaking as she started to understand. If Booth was skating around the topic, it wasn't good.
"He's in training," he responded softly, dropping his gaze back to the table as Brennan intertwined their fingers, holding his hand tightly.
"What is he in training for?" Hodgins asked, afraid of the answer.
Taking a deep breath, Booth knew he couldn't avoid the truth any longer. "He's going to Iraq," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, although it seemed to echo around them.
Brennan's grip on his hand tightened at his words, and turned to look at her for the first time. Her eyes were full of tears she was fighting to keep down. He pulled her to him, tears coming to his own eyes as he thought again of Zach's naiveté of the world being shattered.
Looking around, he saw Hodgins holding Angela, who was crying softly. Cam stood silently and walked to her office, leaving the others on the platform.
"Is…" Angela took a deep breath, trying to speak. "Is he going to be alright, Booth?" she asked, her voice filled with sorrow.
"I hope so," he replied, "I really hope so."
"This is a great opportunity for him," Brennan said suddenly, trying to shake the sadness in her voice. "But I wish his first field job had been somewhere else."
"He's not like you, Dr. Brennan. He's been sheltered his entire life. We've sheltered him here, even with the cases we get. He doesn't understand," Hodgins agreed with her, praying their friend would be okay.
"When will he be back?" Angela asked, needing something to look forward to.
"February. Hopefully," he said, praying it was true. He knew of men whose tours had been delayed by 6 months to a year, and he prayed Zach would be lucky enough to come home on time.
"February," she repeated, the length of his expected absence settling over the group.
It was a long time, eight months, but it would go by fast. He would be home before they knew it.
