Alterations

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, favourited, or just read. Your support is greatly appreciated!

So, for the next couple of chapters, I'm going to quickly gloss over canon events in the manga/anime. Everything after Chapter 5, I believe, is going to be a huge divergence from the plot, but I do want to give some context. Apologies for the fillers.


Whenever Mikasa went to bed at night, she dreamt the same thing. There was a woman clad in white, beckoning to her. She looked like Carla Yeager, long hair draped over one shoulder, but when she smiled, Mikasa saw a bit of Reya in the way the corners of her eyes crinkled.

"Protect Eren for me, won't you?" She spoke with the voice of Mikasa's own mother, the noise both familiar and foreign to her all at the same time. She smiled, thin lipped and tight, as blood began to drip from the sides of her mouth.

Mikasa would then reach out toward the mysterious woman, but she would start coughing and flecks of blood would dot the pristine white floor.

"How could you do this to me?" The woman sounded horrified and desperate, clutching at her stomach where red blossomed onto the dark cloth. "Mikasa…"

Mikasa opened her mouth to scream for help, but her throat was dry and no sound could escape her lips. She couldn't even turn away from the sight in front of her; all she could do was watch as blood slowly drained out of the woman until nothing was left but a dark cloak on the ground.

And when Mikasa looked down at her own hands, they were always, always covered in blood.

She woke with a start. Though the nights were cold—a damp sort of cold that would seep into your bones regardless of how many layers you wore—she was covered in sweat. Frantically, she edged toward the window, glancing down at her hands, and when she realized that they were clean, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's going on?" Christa's quiet whisper jolted Mikasa out of her reverie.

"Nothing," the taller girl responded. "I just woke up to go to the washroom."

"Oh," Christa nodded, "I'll come with you."

"No need. I'll be quick."

Christa climbed out of her bed, wrapping herself entirely in the blanket. "Then, it should be no problem if I come with you. What if I need to go to the washroom?" Mikasa didn't answer, but her lack of reply told Christa that she wouldn't exactly refuse her company.

"Careful." Mikasa held the door open for the shorter girl to walk through. "It's dark." As the words passed through her lips, a tremor of pain shot up her right arm and caused her to flinch ever so slightly. Grimacing, she clenched her hand into a fist and ignored the strange buzzing of the limb.

"Are you okay?" Christa whispered as the two navigated the sparsely wooded area behind the cabins. "You looked really out of it during training today." She was referring to the numerous hits she had managed to land on the other girl, a feat normally impossible for anyone, save possibly Annie.

"I'm fine," replied Mikasa. Locating the washroom, she walked over to it and gingerly pushed the door open with her aching hand. "Do you mind if I go first?"

Christa shook her head.

Mikasa pushed the door open further, but as she did so, a splinter embedded itself in the palm of her hand and she ripped her hand off the wood as if it had been burned.

"Mikasa?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she repeated like a mantra. "I'll just be a second." She closed in the door in Christa's worried face and then turned to look at her own in the dirty mirror. Dark circles had gathered under her eyes and she looked far paler than normal. "I have no idea what Jean sees in me," she whispered to herself, remembering the weird boy who'd, on more than one occasion, shouted out his affections for her in the crowded mess hall only to be laughed at.

Looking down at her right arm, she lifted it up to the light, palm upwards. There was nothing odd with the appendage. The only thing that could be interpreted as out of place was the carved symbol, though that was something Mikasa had lived with since she was young.

There was a drop of blood, however, oozing from the center of the crest. It grew larger and larger until it became a droplet, which cascaded down Mikasa's pale arm and dripped onto the floor.

"Shoot," she whispered, searching for anything to mop up the mess with. However, the blood continued to pour out. Her hand was burning, growing hotter by the second and Mikasa could feel her entire body start to heat up.

Breathing in, she tried to calm herself, but the slow trickle of blood from her hand from the ground only made it worse. Looking up, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and the face staring back made her heart thud painfully. It was only for a brief second, but Mikasa thought she saw her mother smiling back at her. Then, the face morphed into something completely different. The darkness prevented Mikasa from completely making out its features, but she could tell that it wasn't human. Stone-like patches grew on its shoulders and neck, fanning out as it got closer to its chin. She stared closer and something caused her to reach forward to the touch the glass.

The creature in the reflection did the same.

Mikasa shrank back immediately, but not before driving her fist through it. Sinking down to the ground, she cradled her bloody hand and thudded her head against the wood, trying to drive out the image of that terrifying face. Ruby-red blood dripped from her right palm and Mikasa felt like she was drowning in the liquid.

"Mikasa!" The door opened and moonlight poured inside.

"Don't come in!" Mikasa said raggedly. "Don't come in."

She felt herself being lifted up with rough hands. They examined her fist and brushed away the tiny shards of glass. "What were you thinking?" Jean Kirschtein asked angrily, not sounding at all like he normally did whenever he spoke to her.

Christa hovered around Mikasa's other side, kicking the larger pieces away from her feet. "Mikasa, I heard you screaming and was going to go in, but Jean came out here too. Mikasa?"

Mikasa let her head loll on Jean's shoulder for a moment, but remembered the blood. "How am I going to explain the blood?"

"We'll bandage you up," said Jean, blushing furiously at the contact. "It's not too deep of a wound."

Mikasa shook her head. "The blood on the floor. How am I going to explain that?"

"Mikasa," said Christa worriedly, "there is no blood on the floor. What are you talking about?"

The girl in question shook her head. "I was bleeding from my right hand. There was a puddle of blood in here."

The other two looked down at Mikasa's right hand, which as always, was wrapped in a white bandage—though the patches of red was the only difference from her normal appearance. However, Mikasa herself hardly seemed aware of it, her eyes scanning the floor for the aforementioned puddle of blood while she pointedly avoided glancing at the reflective mirror shards dotting the ground.

"You must have been dreaming," said Christa finally. "You probably slipped or something."

Mikasa could hardly hear Christa's words, slipping lower and lower down. "Hey!" Jean hesitated slightly before wrapping a hand around her waist and pulling her up. "We have to get her to the infirmary."

"At this time of the night?"

"We'll say she couldn't see and fell or something."

"It's Mikasa. Nobody is going to believe us."

Mikasa registered that people were talking around her, but the words failed to compute in her head. Her right arm, though still feeling as though there was an inferno blazing within, had cooled down somewhat, as had the rest of her body. Against her will, her eyes began to droop shut and as blank-looking faces above her crowded her view of the night sky, she could only think of one thing.

What was that face in the mirror?


Though Mikasa's dreams were always the same, she never saw that face again and eventually, it slipped from her mind. Her mind was completely occupied with training and as her body grew stronger, the memory that night faded until she'd pushed it out of her mind completely.

Time went and passed. Training eventually came to an end and Mikasa graduated at the top of her class. She hoped that Eren would have a sudden change of heart and decide to join the Military Police, but she knew that he was far too intent on becoming a part of the Scouting Legion. Mikasa had resigned herself to it and knew that the only way to keep him safe would not be to prevent him from achieving his dream, but to accompany him and see to it that he did so in the safest way possible.

"You graduated top of the class," Eren said to her, smiling genuinely. "I knew you could do it."

Mikasa absentmindedly smiled; despite the warmth that was rapidly spreading throughout her chest, this wasn't the first congratulations she had to put up with and the attention began to sap away at her. "We should go to bed soon."

Eren raised a brow, eyes darting around the party-like atmosphere around them, an event suggested by Sasha and Connie who seemed the most relieved to relax for those few precious hours before the dawn.

"Tomorrow, they want us to patrol the wall," she reiterated what Shadis had drilled into them earlier that night. "Clean the cannons and such. You'll need a good night's sleep."

"Are you going to bed now?"

Mikasa nodded. "Soon."

Eren sighed. "I'll go," he promised, finally conceding and surprising Mikasa with his complacence. "Just give me a few minutes. You don't have to wait up if you're too tired."

Mikasa left the mess hall first, walking the short path to their cabins.

"You left early?" A voice came from the trees. The figure stepped into the dim lighting surrounding the wooden structures, pulling the collar of their white hoodie up to stave off the bitter chill. "Thought you would've stayed longer."

"I'm tired," Mikasa replied, not feeling in the mood to converse with anyone, let alone Annie Leonhardt. "We have a long day tomorrow. I'm going to bed."

Annie nodded absentmindedly. "Are you okay?" She asked in a rare show of concern, though her expression gave nothing away. "You're looking pale."

Mikasa pressed to her forehead. She was burning up again.

She hadn't told anyone, not even Eren or Armin, but from time to time, she experienced that strange wave of heat coursing through her body, especially concentrated in her right arm. Fortunately, it wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable and at times, she would feel nauseous. This was looking like it was one of those times.

"I just need to go to the washroom," said Mikasa. "I'll be fine. See you tomorrow."

Annie nodded again and let Mikasa walk away, not bothering to follow. For once, Mikasa was grateful for the other girl's utter lack of interest in anybody's personal life. Grasping for the tiny trees that grew in patches along the walkway, Mikasa managed to get herself to the front door of their cabin. The inside was completely dark; she was the first one back. Making her way to her bed, she lay down without even bothering to change. The kind of exhaustion she felt was deeply rooted, as if it was housed in her bones and refused to dissipate no matter how much rest she got.

"I'll protect Eren," she whispered to the chill night air, wisps of it blowing into the room through miniscule slats in the wood. "I promise."

She said this every night; a mantra she recited to whatever deity was listening, in the hopes that her nightmares wouldn't plague her. But, even before she'd fully closed her eyes, the image of that woman materialized in her mind's eye, burned onto the inside of her eyelids like the afterimages from looking into the sun for too long.

"Protect Eren for me, won't you?"

And even though her nightmares prevented Mikasa from truly getting the rest she deserved, this would be the last peaceful night she would ever sleep through.


The next morning was a flurry of activity with everyone getting ready for their various duties on the wall. Mikasa knew Eren was excited, his joyous attitude stemming from their graduation, and eventual commencement into the Scouting Legion.

Everything was going fine. It was going great. Mikasa would be able to protect him, as long as she stayed by his side. Nothing would go wrong.

And then, after an uninterrupted five years of relative peace, the Colossal Titan reappeared and took with it a section of Wall Rose.