"I'm sorry, Evelyn."
Her head whipped round to look at Jean. There was nothing but sincerity in her eyes, which shocked Evelyn more than she could say. She tried to respond with something, anything, but Jean cut her off before she could. Not that there was much to cut off. Evelyn was at a complete loss for words.
"I know how horribly I behaved and I know that a simple apology doesn't erase all the terrible things I said. But… I would like to explain. I think I owe you that much."
Evelyn didn't say anything. She simply nodded her head in silent invitation for Jean to continue.
"Being on my own has granted me time to think. And I came to realize that I did love him. And he loved me. And at the time, that seemed enough. But as the years went on, we both realized that loving someone and being in love with someone… well they're not quite the same thing. I was in love with Douglas but… he was never in love with me. He tried. Goodness knows he tried, but… you can't force something like that." She paused again. "I think in the end, it was what drove him away. I tried to make him love me back in the same way that I loved him. But he didn't. He never could."
Evelyn swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, her eyes still firmly fixed on the fountain.
"When we got to India, I thought… new location, new people… new start. But after the arrangements were made, I realized I was doing it again. I was trying to force something that could never be. And then when he met you…" Her voice cracked slightly and she took a second to clear her throat before starting up again. "I was jealous. I was jealous of the way he cared for you, despite only knowing you for such a short time. I was jealous of how he shared with you and smiled at you and… the way he looked at you. His eyes just lit up. I'd never seen him so happy. I knew he was in love with you, probably before he knew it himself. And I hated that. I hated you… because you gave him the happiness that I never could."
Evelyn turned her eyes to Jean and saw that even as she stood there talking, she was close to tears, but of course, she wouldn't let them fall.
"I was angry, so I did what I always do when I don't get my own way. I lashed out. I didn't want to face the fact that he was moving on. I saw the look in his eyes when he was with you. There was something there… something that was always painfully absent when he looked at me, no matter how much I tried to pretend. I was his wife. I was the mother of his child. We shared so many years together. All I could think was that if he couldn't love me, then he shouldn't love anyone." She took another breath. "It was wrong of me to blame you. It wasn't your fault. I was wrong and foolish and selfish and… I truly am sorry. For everything."
She took a step closer to Evelyn.
"I know this doesn't erase all the hurt I've caused but I wanted to at least try to make things right."
She opened her purse and took out a slip of paper. She handed it to Evelyn and Evelyn tentatively reached out to take it.
Evelyn looked down at the slip of paper in her hands. "What's this?"
"That's my new address. Perhaps not in the immediate future, but… I thought it would be nice to have everyone round for dinner sometime. Laura could bring the baby." She paused. "I'd really like to have the whole family there."
Her meaning wasn't lost on Evelyn. Evelyn nodded and smiled.
"Thank you, Jean. This means a lot."
Jean returned her smile and turned to leave. She paused at the doorway and turned to Evelyn again.
"He is in love with you. Never doubt that. For the first time in his life, he's genuinely happy. And I'm glad. He deserves happiness…" She smiled. "You both do."
She cast one last glance at Evelyn over her shoulder and stepped back inside, leaving Evelyn to mull over everything she'd said. Maybe Jean wasn't so bad after all, she thought. Clearly she'd had some time to reflect over the past year. Evelyn was certain she'd changed for the better. She seemed content at last. She'd finally allowed herself to let go and move on.
Evelyn tried to imagine what it was like from Jean's point of view, which was something she couldn't honestly say she tried to do before. She'd never given much thought to why Jean was so horrid. She only knew that she was. Horrid and hurtful.
But the more Evelyn thought about it, the more she came to understand the explanation Jean had given. It can't have been easy being married to someone for so many years, all the while knowing they were never really in love with you. Staying together for the children works for a while, but when the children grow up and move out on their own, what's left? You go on pretending that everything's fine. But piece by piece the façade starts to shatter.
Evelyn shook her head. The woman had probably spent so many years clutching at straws, trying to hold on to some semblance of the imaginary romance she'd created in her head. Then she gets to India and she's forced to face the fact that the man she was holding onto so desperately wanted nothing more than to be free of her. It may not have been the fairy tale marriage she dreamed of, but it was all she had. It can't have been easy letting go of that.
It didn't excuse what she did. Not by a long shot. But Evelyn now understood why she did it. And she had to admit, she'd developed a certain level of respect for Jean, coming to her to apologize the way she did. Maybe things really would be alright.
Douglas's shoes on the stone paved pathway broke her train of thought.
He sat down beside her and put his arm round her, noticing the tear that lingered on her cheek.
"Are you alright? She didn't upset you, did she? I didn't want to leave you with her but-"
Evelyn smiled and put a hand "I'm alright, love." She leaned in to kiss him, then put her head on his shoulder. "She apologized."
"What?! Really?"
Evelyn chuckled. "I was shocked too. But… I think she really meant it. She seems happy now. Content, at least. She said she's happy for us as well."
"Oh? What else did she say?" Douglas asked, still not quite believing what he was hearing.
"That we both deserved happiness and that she was glad we found it."
"Well there's something we can all agree on." He kissed the top of her head and she snuggled into his embrace even more.
She absentmindedly fiddled with her wedding ring and watched the butterflies for a few more minutes before Douglas gave her a small squeeze.
"So… do you think you're ready to go back in?"
She took a deep breath and nodded. "I think so."
They walked back inside, hand in hand, and made their way back to Laura's room to find Kenneth holding the baby while Laura seemed to be deep in conversation with Jean. They all looked up when Douglas and Evelyn entered the room again.
"Everything alright?" Kenneth asked.
"We're just fine." Douglas smiled at Kenneth and Laura before turning his gaze to Jean.
Douglas gave her a small nod and a faint smile and she knew she was on the way to being forgiven. She knew it wouldn't happen overnight, and she didn't expect that. But she was grateful she was being given another chance. She looked over to her granddaughter again and smiled. There was still hope for her family after all.
Evelyn looked over at Jean and the way she smiled. She really had changed. It would take some time and getting used to, but Evelyn could honestly see herself building a solid relationship with Jean. It wouldn't happen overnight, and she didn't expect that, but their little talk in the garden had made it clear that Jean was at least willing to try to set things right. And if Jean was willing to try, then so was she.
Kenneth walked over to Evelyn. "Emily… would you like to go see granny?"
"Oh goodness, not granny," Evelyn pulled a face.
He laughed. "Then what would you prefer? Nana?"
"It all sounds so stuffy."
"Grand-mère?" Douglas suggested.
"What about 'Mother: The Sequel'," Laura rolled her eyes.
"Now there's an idea…" Evelyn smiled.
They all laughed as Kenneth handed the baby to Evelyn. She smiled down at the newest addition to their family. Douglas put his arm around his wife and gently tickled Emily's foot, smiling when she squirmed away. He sighed a contented sigh. He had a loving wife, an amazing daughter, a brilliant son in law and a beautiful new granddaughter to add to the mix. Even his ex-wife, whom he previously thought was the root of all evil, was now pleasant and enjoyable company. He felt like the luckiest man in the world and he knew there were more good times to come. He was certain that everything would eventually be alright.
