Chapter Twelve

Rodney looked around the room, with his small lopsided smile that indicated happiness, before turning again to Zelenka and his new toy.

"It is really fantastic Radek! You will have to show me how it works, what it can do."

"It can do many functions, I have done extensive programming." Radek said proudly. Then with a sly smile he added, "I will show you what can be done if you would remove that program from my computer."

Rodney smiled back, "I don't think so Radek" his smile broadened, "I enjoy your swearing too much". He savoured the moment before continuing. "I'm even learning how to curse in Czech…Fluently"

"Ah but can you read programming in Czech?" Zelenka asked innocently.

"You didn't… I should have known…" Rodney said narrowing his eyes. "You programmed my K9 in Czech!"

"Yes, but I do have a code that will transfer it into English – or Canadian – once you have deleted your program."

"Oh all right, but it hasn't cycled through all the Star Trek quotes yet, there are still thousands more."

"Then why does it constantly tell me to 'Live long and prosper' every time I use the End key?

"Because it's the end."

"One day I will perhaps understand your humour Rodney, but only if I am hanging upside down, while looking in a mirror."

Sheppard poked his head around the door "Hey Rodney, can I come and play with your K9 tomorrow? Dr Z wouldn't let me do much more than a short test-drive today." He grinned at them both. Then flipping a hand goodbye he disappeared. His voice wafted back "Did you ask him about the t-shirt, Dr Z?"

"Yes, yes." Zelenka was reminded. "This t-shirt I am wearing Rodney, what does it mean?" he asked as he offered the remote to his friend. "No matter where I go they look at the shirt and then they smile at me, sometimes they laugh." He said puzzled.

"It is just such a great t-shirt Radek" Rodney said smugly as he took the remote and started to direct K9 out of the room.

"Major Sheppard asked me where I got the shirt when he first saw it." Zelenka persisted. "When I told him you gave it to me he said 'that explains it'."

"Never listen to John, he's got no sense of style." Rodney offered the advice. "Just look at his hair."

"No, he pointed to the words on the front. This is puzzling, as I have looked them up. All I get is recipes. How is FIG JAM humorous?"

"One day, when I have forgotten that I was rudely awoken by my own voice, I will explain it to you."

Zelenka shrugged trying to put a good spin on his tampering with Rodney's alarm. "Ah, I thought it would be something for you to enjoy. It is your birthday today. What better present could I give you?"

"This is the best present anyone could have given me" Rodney appeared to forgive the practical joke. He smiled as he patted K9.

"You are welcome Master."

Besides, he thought, Radek had been wearing the t-shirt all day, and everyone had seen him at the party. That should be revenge enough, though it meant he owed Wombat, the Aussie guy, a favour for giving him the shirt. Still, it was well worth it.

Maybe he would tell Zelenka what it means tomorrow.

Maybe…

The End

P.S. FIG JAM seems to be an Aussie idiom. It stands for F..k I'm Good Just Ask Me