Title: Promised
Author: KurtCouper
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Spike/Dawn Friendship, maybe more
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Summary: Spike promised two years ago that it was her and him until the end of the world. But Spike lied and Dawn can't seem to forget that.

A/N: This is WIP as of now. There's talk of drug use, alcohol abuse, and sex references in this fic.

A/N: This is AU. Spike is not souled nor did he rape Buffy. This is set two years from the middle-ish of season 6. He and Buffy continue to sleep together. And Dawn is a senior in high school at 18.

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Chapter 2

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Gone Forever- Three Days Grace

It wasn't until 3 blocks had passed until Dawn realized that the sun was setting. The slight chill to the air brought her attention to the horizon, where she wondered just when the last time she paid attention to anything so natural and magnificent. It had been a while, Dawn realized as she continued to stroll down the street, her thin shirt doing nothing to protect from the wind. Rubbing her arms helplessly to rid away the goose bumps, the brunette stopped to catch her reflection; it startled her. Gone was the baby fat that used to keep her cheeks chubby and her face round. Instead, her face had filled out, sunk onto the bone. It was pale as well, clashing with her dark eyes and ashy-rose colored lips. Fed up and feeling foolishly vain, Dawn continued on the street.

Without realizing it, the ex-Key had ended up by a hangout that she frequently hung at. She was not one to pass up an invitation when one arose; she briskly reached for shelter and smiled softly as the smell of smoke and the crack of the cue balls hitting their targets slowly floated to her senses. It didn't take too long until she reached the makeshift bar and grinned at the bartender.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Dawn," the younger man said as he already grabbed a beer.

"Miss me?" she winked. She took a quick scan of the people around the room. Once she spotted that he was handing her the bottle, her smile intensified. "You know me too well, Benny." Slapping two dollars on the table, she left to nurse her beer and watch people play pool.

She felt better, being in her element and just getting out of the house. Sometimes the emptiness surrounded her until she felt she couldn't breathe. It was thick and intense and strangled her like tar sticking to her lungs. And being around Spike didn't help because all she could remember were memories of how she would just turn to him and he would know and then he'd help her through it. But he had left her and exposed her to the harsh world too early and he didn't save her. Always thought he'd save her, but never did come when she needed him. Never was too good at that when Buffy came back. Both had each other's attention and none was directed towards her when she needed it. There was no one to tell her that boys could eat your alive or how tequila makes your clothes come off or the harsh reality of withdrawal. They both left her to drown and Spike most of all because he promised. He promised. Promisedpromisedpromised. And that's the most sobering thought-the realization that there is no one else but you in the world.

It was hard in the beginning, to realize that she had no one but herself. There were no friends, no family. The hardest part was the ignoring; how the brunette could go on for at least three weeks until someone spoke words directly towards her or how she had forgot what physical contact felt like. It was easier to get away with things then, when she felt like she just needed to reconnect and act out for the attention she deserved. But sometimes there's no one there to pick you up from the police station at 4 in the morning and then you understand that they're not going to save you. So Dawn gave up on her conquest. It was better that way anyway. She had already been disappointed too much. There was hardly any hope in her anyway.

It seems as if she's been decaying since That summer. Like once Buffy-jumped-a button was pushed in her body to decompose. With Spike, the loneness didn't echo as much as it does now. It didn't burn as bad or take as much liquor to quell down the cold. But now? Oh god, even her arms seem empty. This sad depression that had sunk in wasn't just teenage angst, a wet blanket. Instead, it was carved deep down in her soul and this loneliness ached so bad that she thought she'd just burst.

Because he promised. He promisedhepromisedhepromised. And then he left, to get some fucking ass from her sister, no less. She knows it's the only reason why he stayed with her-for Buffy. Even in her head, her sister's name tasted of acid.

Because he promised. He promised.

"He promised," the brunette found herself whispering into the stale air of the pool hall.

As she continued to sip on her sixth beer, Dawn was feeling the sludge in her brain come forward. She loved the drunk loopy feeling her head got every time she knocked back a few. It made her feel at peace from the aching in her body at least for a little while. But the alcohol seemed to brake through the walls that she had continuously built and built and built because some things just can break her down so easily. And it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realized she had slight tear tracks run down from her eyes.

"Come on Dawn. Let's get you home," came the voice of Benny. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. It was slight and watery, but a smile nonetheless. He was always there to make sure she didn't make a mess of herself.

"It's okay, Benny. I can take it from here," she assured and took the last swallow of beer from the bottle. It went straight to her head as she tried to stand, but denied Benny's help anyway. He's seen her worse off, knows she has it in her to handle just six beers. But six beers sure do taste different with only a packet of crackers to tide her over.

He walked her to the door and she gave him a grateful hug before she was on her way to go home. She had a great deal of respect for Benny, and maybe sparkings of a crush. He kissed her on the top of her head, ruffling her hair sweetly as he did so. Her head turned to see him, through half-lidded eyes, and she let out a long, pure lip smile. Turning her way towards her house, she had a heavy stomach that seemed to turn as she continued to stumble on the potholes. Spike would probably be fucking her sister by now, she thinks idly and then scuffs to the ground from a twig laying on the road. With her knees connected to the asphalt, she braced herself with shaky arms. Her stomach turned again, so she rested her forehead against the ground to try to steady the unsteady world. But with her stomach already sick with hate and beer, she just stayed there and emptied out her stomach.

The gravel was harsh on her knees and hands and it's times like these that Dawn wish she would have at least eaten something. Her stomach, still foul, gurgles and tells her to just lay there. So she does. The dampness seeps into her clothes, but she doesn't really pay any more attention to anything except the waves of sickness in her stomach. Her head felt too heavy, but Dawn tried to breathe. As she took a slow inhale, she squinted her eyes into the dark horizon of the street. It was littered with an oddly beauty. Turning to her side, she slowly rolled her body up and stood solid on her two feet again.

It wasn't long until Dawn made her way back to her house. But all she wanted was a shower to get the thick soot of smoke and the stench of beer off of her skin. Just thinking about the combination was making her stomach turn again. And it wouldn't be too difficult to just open the goddamn door, but the keys not fitting into the hole. Looking up at the door, Dawn realized that this was their neighbors house.

"Fuck," she curses to the air and her own drunken stupidity.

As she crawled to her house, her feet had given up walking, she could tell she tore a bit of skin on her palm against the sidewalk. Moving to the grass damp with dew, the ground made it difficult for her to get complete traction. She fell, her body hard and aching, four times on the grass before she finally made it up to the stairs. With the support of the railing, she was able to half-walk, half-near-about-fall until she got to the door. Her stomach flipped as she inserted the key into the door. Knowing she just needed to sit down because she was spinning too fast with the spinning world. And why didn't it slow down just a little bit? So she slid down until her bottom hit the ground and brought a shaky hand to cradle her stomach. Her eyes still swim with tears that she didn't mean to shed at the bar and she doesn't want to let them out. But he did promise, she realizes as they fill her eyes. Oh he promisedpromisedpromisedpromised.

She can't stop the tears from fully flowing now, but she can't feel them. Not really. Her face is too numb from the beer and her body is too empty to truly care anyway. But her weight seems to pull to the left side and she can't seem to stop it. It's slow, but in her head it feels too fast as if she's losing control and is going to fall off the ship. As if she's going to fall into the cold, dark sea alone.

"But he promised, he promised. He promised," she repeats and realized she hasn't eaten anything in two days. Beer hits stomachs too hard on an empty stomach. "He Promised."

Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fuck and fight
Until the morning comes I'll
Forget about our life

So I hope your guys enjoyed this. And tell me how you want it to end. I've got a couple ways it could go.
PS: This was one of my favorite chapters to write so far.

Thanks! -KC