******** More pain and comfort to follow – I hope you enjoy! ********
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'To overcome pain, you must become one with it'
"DANNY, DANNY" Placing a hand across Danny's chest and squeezing his shoulder Steve leaned close, lying his forehead against Danny's.
When Erin returned moments later she saw Steve tenderly stroking his friends cheek while talking to him soothingly, "I've got you Danno, I'm right here. I need you to relax partner...relax for me"
Erin said, "Steve, he hears you. Keep talking to him, it's working"
Without looking up, Steve continued "Breathe nice and slow baby, I've got you. I need you to remember what I told you Danny. No pain buddy, no pain...you're so damn strong Danny. I know you can hear me and I need you to keep fighting...breathe slow, nice and slow"
Danny's mind was reeling, 'I'm so confused? Steve? What are you doing here? Where did Jason go? JASON! JASON! Where are you brother? Don't leave again J'...I miss you brother, please don't leave...'
As Steve continued to encourage Danny, Doctor Jackson arrived and after reading the monitors he moved quickly, "Nurse I need you to prep a dose of lidocaine S.T.A.T"
Erin replied "Yes Doctor, right away"
Steve looked up, "What's lidocaine Doc?"
"That's the anti-arrhythmic medication I told you about"
"You're going to give him another injection this soon?"
"Yes, I also have him on a drip, but I need to increase that dosage. We have to control this Steve, we can't risk him having another cardiac event. Keep talking to him, it's helping"
"Hear that Danno? Doc Jackson here says you're doing great. I love you partner and I'm here. Hey, Gracie's going to be up after school today so you need to relax now so you're ready for her. Calm down buddy, relax and breathe slow...in, and out...in, and out...nice and slow Danno. I tell you what, once we get you out of here I'll get you and Gracie a room at the Hilton again so you can recover in style. You can order movies and room service and just kick back with your little monkey. What do you say buddy, sounds good huh?"
'The Hilton sounds great babe, but wait, where's Gracie? You said she's coming over soon? Okay...good, that's good. Shit my chest hurts buddy and it's hard to breathe...wait a minute...what's going on with Jason? Where did he go? Steve, I need to find Jason...will you help me? This doesn't make any sense Steve? Tell me what's going on? What's happening to me?'
Danny groaned softly and his head lolled from side to side.
Steve leaned close to his partners ear, "Ssshhhhhhh relax buddy, I've got you"
Danny's mind raced, 'Relax? How can I relax Steven? Oh shit I hurt...I don't understand what's happening...'
"Relax Danno, breathe nice and slow now...in, and out, nice and slow...no pain D"
"Okay Superman, I hear you...promise me you won't leave me buddy...I'm scared"
He moaned again and Steve talked to him softly, "It's Steve buddy and I'm not going anywhere, I've got you Danno and you're safe now"
Erin returned with a syringe and pulling the blankets from his leg, Doctor Jackson gave him the injection of lidocaine into his thigh. As the Doctor was dispensing the plunger, Steve continued to talk, "You're doing so great Danny, sleep now...I've got you...sleep...that's my boy, ssshhhhhhhhh"
Several minutes passed before the Doctor said, "His heart rate is dropping Commander, good job"
Steve inquired, "He's okay now?"
"Step over here with me"
As they stepped a few feet from the bed Erin moved in and tucked the warming blankets back tightly around their patient.
"This is not an unexpected thing Steve. It's very important that you try to keep him as calm as possible. When he wakes he's going to be confused and that's common with massive blood loss. As I told you before, this is going to be difficult"
Steve ran a hand across his face and sighed deeply, "I know"
Jackson then asked, "Do you have any questions?"
"No, not right now"
The men shook hands as Jackson added, "I'll stop by soon to check up on him. Erin can help you with anything you need"
"Thank You"
Moving back to Danny's side he glanced at the monitors and although his heart rate was still elevated, it was dropping. Sitting down he again took Danny's hand in his and while stroking it softly with his thumb he tipped his head back and closing his eyes, he fought back tears.
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Danny's mind had taken him back to events that occurred several months ago...
'Rachel and I had been arguing again about visitation. Christmas was coming up and I was so excited about it. Gracie would be with me on Christmas Eve and we were going to celebrate it at Steve's place with our new Ohana. There was only one thing I wasn't excited about though, Kono had come up with the hair-brained idea of us going caroling. Caroling for Gods sake! I can't carry a note, and my dear daughter is the first one to remind me of that! Other than that though I was really looking forward to Christmas. I had bought Gracie the American Girls, itty-bitty twin collection that she had been begging for for months. When I had complained to Steve about spending over two-hundred dollars for dolls he had laughed and told me we were working that Saturday. I asked him if that was supposed to make me feel better and the smart-ass SEAL had told me I needed the overtime pay! Yeah, I was really looking forward to this Christmas and then Rachel had ruined everything by announcing that Stan had an unexpected business trip in China over the Holidays and they wouldn't be back until after the New Year.
Looking back on it, I think what upset me the most was the fact that Gracie seemed excited about going away...but it was Christmas...
I'd had a horrible day that Friday and I was definitely wallowing deep in self-pity. Steve was doing everything he could to convince me that her excitement was natural and even though I knew that, it still hurt. But SuperSeal had a plan and he arranged for us both to leave work early that day and we picked Gracie up at school. We then went to a local tree farm and after picking out a Christmas tree we took it back to his place. As we carried the tree into the house Steve had announced gleefully that our celebration would be that weekend, before Gracie's trip to China. My little monkey was so happy and honestly, so was I. I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and as I was coming back down I stopped in my tracks as I heard Steve and Gracie talking.
"Is Danno mad at me Uncle Steve?"
"What? Of course he's not mad at you sweetheart. Why would you say that?"
"I don't think he wants me to go to China with Mommy and Stan"
"Gracie, it's not that he doesn't want you to go. He's just sad that he'll miss seeing you at Christmas, that's all. I know it's hard for you to understand these things"
"I understand Uncle Steve. I'll miss him too...I'll miss all of you...I'm sad too"
"Come here sweetheart" I watched as my baby girl had climbed onto his lap and hugged him. He kissed her forehead and said, "Gracie, your Danno loves you more than anything in this world and he NEVER wants to see you sad. And your Mommy loves you just as much as your Daddy does. They both want you to be happy honey"
"I don't like it when they fight Uncle Steve. I can't help it, it makes me sad"
I wiped a tear from my eye and made my way downstairs. Moving to the couch I had lifted Gracie from Steve's lap and as I hugged her tears streamed down my face. After several seconds Gracie had said, "Don't be sad Danno, please don't cry"
I had sat on the couch and placed her between Steve and myself.
"Gracie, I'm sorry"
"It's okay Danno"
"No it's not okay Monkey, Uncle Steve is right. I love you more than anything and so does your Mommy. I was being selfish and I'm sorry. I'm happy and excited for you that you'll get to go on an airplane and visit China. You'll have so much fun with Mommy and Stan and I'll have fun with Uncle Steve here, I promise"
Steve had then said, "He'll especially have fun caroling, right Danno?"
I had looked at him and said, "Will you please shut up"
The two people I loved most in the world had laughed loudly at me and eventually Steve said, "Come on guys, we've got a tree to trim and presents to wrap!"
Steve had done it again.
In this world there are people who see the glass as half full, while others see the glass as half empty. As hard as I try to fight it, most of the time I'm a glass half empty kind of guy, while McGarrett...yeah he's definitely a glass half full kind of guy.
We had an amazing weekend. Steve turned on Christmas music, CD's by Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift that he had bought just for Gracie. We trimmed the tree, wrapped presents and ordered pizza that night and then the next day we celebrated. Although we would be separated from our little angle for Christmas, we celebrated simply being together and being a family.
Saying goodbye to Gracie at the airport had torn at my heart but I smiled and told her to have a good time, and as she walked down the runway towards the plane she and turned back and blown a kiss to me as she hugged her treasured itty-bitty twins, 'Stevie and Sophie'
We had a good Christmas and I have to admit, Steve is a pretty damn good cook.
We all attended a mid-day church service and then we went back to Steve's where we ate, drank wine and visited. We were exchanging gifts when the gift I wanted the most came in, a call from Gracie. We all talked to her and I was so unbelievably happy just to hear her sweet voice. Overall, it was a good day, a very good day...except for the caroling!'
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Steve's eyes were closed as he held Danny's cold hand in both of his, hoping he could pass his body heat on to his injured partner. He hated seeing Danny like this, hell he shouldn't be in this damn bed at all.
'Christ McGarrett, how could you have been so stupid? Eaton warned me, and I let this happen. Please Danny, oh God please fight...Gracie can't lose you and neither can I. I love you Danny and I'm so sorry'
Suddenly his eyes bolted open as he felt Danny's hand weakly fold around his...
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