Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera

A/N: So, these chapters just sort-of assume that varying amounts of time pass between them--just try to work with it. I justify it to myself by saying these are just selections of journal entires since nobody cares about day-to-day stuff. In the grand scheme of things, it is really inconsequential... but I just wanted to say something so it doesn't look like some years go by quickly and some days drag on. Hope that's not too confusing.


Dear Journal,

They accepted me into the Conservatoire. I suppose I should be happier about it. I'll have to ponder that. Mamma is thrilled. I did not tell her that I just barely made it… meeting the minimum requirements and nothing else. She does not need to know those details.

Mamma Valerius watched as Christine moved about the kitchen fixing tea for the two of them. Christine was such a good girl and she loved her like a daughter. She smiled when she remembered how the little girl and her father had come to live with them so many years ago. In some ways she was still that same little girls. But in others…

"Christine?" she said suddenly, "Why don't you sing anymore?"

Christine sighed. Mamma asked this question at least once a day. It was becoming clear that she was not well. She realized the she should start searching for someone to look after the old woman during the times she was away. Mamma couldn't even leave the house anymore.

"I do sing, Mamma. Remember how I was just accepted to the opera? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Hush, child, that is not what I meant. I'm talking about right now… you used to always sing, even when you were doing simple things, such as making tea."

What do I tell her? I was a little girl then. Maybe I just don't feel like singing. Unsure of what to say, Christine just smiled sadly and handed the woman her tea.

Mamma Valerius may have been an old woman, but she could still recognize the grief in Christine's eyes. It was the same look she had had when Prof. Valerius passed on.

"You miss him, don't you?" she asked softly.

"So much, Mamma. So much…"

Anyway, today is my first day. So far, it has not gone as well as I had hoped.

Christine made her way through the crowd of singers, dancers, and other performers. They had all lined up to see what new talent had been brought in this year. Christine tipped her head down and attempted to sneak by unnoticed. Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect. If she had been watching where she was going, she would have been able to avoid the large, over-dressed woman who stepped into her path. As it was, however, she collided with the glittery leviathan and they both tumbled to the floor.

It was intimidating enough having all of those performers around staring us down and sizing us up. I would have preferred not to make a scene. But, alas, I would not have such luck.

At least a dozen people ran to the woman's aid, practically tripping over Christine in the process. Meanwhile, the woman ranted and screamed as Christine frantically tried to pick herself and her belongings off the floor.

"You idiot!" screamed the woman, "Watch where you are going you clumsy fool! How dare you attack La Carlotta! Get out of here, little worm, before I have the managers fire you!"

So now I have met Carlotta. I could have just as soon postponed that introduction to a more appropriate time and place, but such would not be the case. At any rate, had I known that, by lunchtime, the entire opera would be talking about "the evil soprano who viciously attacked the Prima Donna in an attempt to usurp her position in the Opera house," I would have done more to deserve all this negative attention.

Who am I kidding? I would have done no such thing--not even to that ugly old toad. I'm either very prudent or very cowardly. I'm not sure which. One thing is certain, I am very clumsy.

I expect that I won't be making any friends here, either. It's just as well, I suppose. I'm almost used to the solitude… almost.

It is time for class and then rehearsal. I must sign off for now.

-Christine