Dave stopped nodding, paused, and started nodding again.
Kurt mimicked Dave, with a little smile on his face.
Dave smiled and looked away, completely embarrassed by his actions.
Then, there they were – two boys with the beginnings of an awkward conversation and subsequent truce forthcoming, sitting side-by-side, waiting for somebody to begin. The injury bench was wooden and would eventually become uncomfortable in the slightly dark locker room.
The lighting was strange. Dave found himself looking upwards towards the lights. Fluorescent bulbs sat in ordinary lamps, suspended on cords wired to the ceiling. You'd think the bright red of the room would illuminate the orangey-yellow light to a brighter glow, but the room had a strange, shadowy quality to it.
The locker room was also The Locker Room – just four rows over is where Dave revealed his homosexuality in a heated, passionate, wild, angry, torrent of emotions that exploded in the worst way possible towards Kurt. Dave was ashamed.
Dave returned his gaze to Kurt. Kurt had recovered completely from his physical collapse and was looking around the room too. Dave couldn't help but notice that even with Kurt's paler-than-normal complexion and disheveled hair, Kurt was really cute. Dave really looked at Kurt. Kurt's posture was perfect and his left leg was swung over his right, at the knee, his foot circling counterclockwise. His lips were pursed and he curled his head down in an attempt to relax Dave to start talking.
God he's prissy.
Dave smiled. Kurt didn't.
"OK," Dave suddenly began, "I'll start."
Dave half turned to Kurt as Kurt did the same. Dave looked at Kurt for just an instant, a kind of panic starting to set in.
"Would you like some water?" Dave asked nervously.
A little smile curled on Kurt's lips as Kurt regarded Dave. Seconds passed before Kurt finally placed his hand on top of Dave's.
Dave's eyes bulged as he watched Kurt's so, so soft hand on top of Dave's. Almost instantly, waves of relaxation engulfed Dave and he closed his eyes, his breathing becoming normal. Dave was in a state of bliss and relaxation. This didn't happen to Dave very often.
Kurt watched all of this. He was amazed at Dave's transformation just with the touch of a hand. He studied Dave's relaxation, astounded by the little twitches in Dave's face as further easing settled. Kurt was pretty pleased with himself and he should've been. Kurt had seemingly tamed the wild beast.
For the last ten minutes, Kurt had begun the transformation back to the Kurt Hummel many people knew and loved, and Dave had begun his own transformation from feared bully to…..well, Kurt didn't really know what yet. But his own adjustment back to his old self would take more time, as Dave's would too. Everything has a starting point and as Kurt waited for Dave to continue, he bargained with himself that this was the right thing to do for both boys. He thought this was win/win – stop the bullying, gain an ally. It could happen. It could work.
Dave then came back to his senses and nervously looked at Kurt and chuckled.
"Sorry. I guess I needed that." Dave boyishly admitted.
Kurt liked this calmer, almost thoughtful boy in front of him. It was Karofsky he feared. He just had his doubts as to who was in front of him in that moment. So, Kurt decided to take the bull by the horns.
"David," Kurt began autocratically, as Dave gave Kurt his full attention, "Karofsky must go away."
Dave sadly looked away.
"I know." Dave softly began, "Look, it was never-"
"No, you look!" Kurt suddenly yelled. Dave cringed a little at Kurt's volume, but knew he deserved it. And he did.
"Outfit after outfit has been ruined. You don't care if it's Marc Jacobs or Dolce And Gobbana or Target! You have cost me so much in outfits," and when Dave tried to interrupt, potentially offering money to Kurt for the slushied clothes, Kurt held his hand up, "and I'm not talking monetarily."
Kurt paused, taking a breath. Dave watched. He couldn't take his eyes of Kurt if he tried.
"Slushies hurt. They're a sudden blast of ice cold that stings badly. The dye can sting worse. I always, always David Karofsky, have to have backup clothes in my locker because of you and Azimio and anyone else who wants to fuck with me!" Kurt was screeching by the end.
Dave just stared at Kurt. He had never heard Kurt swear and the "F" word sounded odd coming out of Kurt's mouth. But oddly enough, tears were the furthest things in Dave's mind. Instead, he was watching Kurt. Studying Kurt. Kurt Hummel. Dave was in awe of Kurt Hummel.
"This is the longest we've ever had a conversation." Dave said quietly.
Kurt huffed in frustration, sitting back down on the injury bench, but a little further away from Dave.
"Well, hip-hip hooray!" Kurt said sarcastically.
Dave looked down for a moment then right back up at Kurt. Kurt had a curious, pensive expression on his face. Dave noticed that Kurt looked like he had more to say, but was hesitant and maybe even afraid. Dave had to remedy that right now.
"Kurt, if you have more to say, say it. You need to say it and I won't hurt you in any way." Dave said softly, encouragingly.
Kurt looked at Dave. He practically studied Dave. He had no idea if Dave was telling the truth, but the situation had presented itself. So, Kurt took it.
"Bruises, David," Kurt began nastily, "bruises hurt. I probably have some from today's locker check. They hurt David. Your body could handle them much better than mine, but they still hurt, don't they?! Don't ever do that again!" Kurt screamed.
Dave was awestruck into silence. He looked away very briefly before again looking back at Kurt. This pattern of looking away and looking back again was becoming a habit for Dave.
Suddenly, Kurt lunged to Dave's hand and held it tightly.
"Please…" Kurt softly begged, his eyes just hinting at getting watery.
This was something Dave couldn't handle. Kurt was being gentle with him, demandingly pleading with him, and almost in tears. Dave's inclination was to run away, but he knew that would only delay the inevitable. No, this was the time to face his actions and he knew he may never get another chance.
"OK," Dave began gently, "I will never locker check or hurt you again."
Kurt blinked, stunned. His eyes widened and he slowly backed up and away from Dave. He never took his eyes off Dave, as Dave's eyes started to show confusion. Kurt backed up until he was almost to the end of the bench, a good four or five feet away from Dave.
"You mean…that?" Kurt whispered, hoping that it was the truth. Hoping that he could trust Dave's answer. Hoping what that answer might be. Hoping to end all the bullying. Just…hoping.
Dave sat up straighter and cleared his throat. His eyes went from big softie to intense. Dave bored holes into Kurt's dumbfounded eyes.
"Absolutely. I will never hurt you again."
Kurt burst into tears for just an instant before regaining composure. What he had hoped for, for nearly a year, was potentially coming true. He looked away, wiping his face quickly, straightening his clothes, fixing his hair, re-wiping his face. And when he looked back at Dave, he saw that Dave hadn't changed his facial expression, still staring at Kurt with a clear intention. This was Dave's way of telling the truth. However, Kurt knew that trust was earned and he wanted to believe what Dave so firmly said, but….
"OK. Thank you Dav-"
"And I will stop others from hurting you too." Dave said resolutely.
"What?" Kurt asked, almost beaming with joy. "How? You can't be everywhere at once."
Dave relaxed his posture, a tongue-in-cheek grin forming on his face.
"Once word gets out not to mess with you, and people realize they'll have to mess with me instead, you'll be fine."
Kurt was speechless. He scooted closer on the bench until he was about a foot away from Dave. Dave simply turned his head, still with that cocky expression.
"Dave, listen to me. This is a bad idea." Kurt said firmly.
"Why?" Dave asked confused.
Kurt looked away for an instant before returning to Dave's confused, yet slightly still cocky face.
"If people see you defending me, won't that mean outing yourself?" Kurt asked, concerned.
Dave thought for a moment, looking at any of the identical red lockers in the room. He hadn't really considered this before. In fact, he never considered stopping the bullying. But Dave had a quick, analytical mind and it didn't take long for him to come to a resolution. Smiling, he turned back to Kurt.
"Remember the expulsion?" Dave began, and Kurt nodded. "I have to look out for you as terms of my return."
"That was never part of…." Kurt replied, but stopped.
As he was looking away, absorbing the words Dave said, a little smile crept on Dave's face. He was watching Kurt get it. Soon, Kurt understood the little ploy in Dave's mind and looked back at Dave.
Dave's smile was infectious evidently. Kurt started to smile too. Two boys, heated enemies for soooo long, were smiling at each other. Relief was flooding their minds and soon laughter filled the room. Smooth, wonderful, honest laughter as two boys reached a kind of understanding. But then, laughter turned into hysterics. Dave was doubled over and Kurt had fallen back on his elbows. Both boys were covering their mouths, cackling at absolutely nothing. No joke, no riddle solved, no humorous situation – just two boys who had reached a kind of peace within themselves, giddy with relief.
Gradually, the laughter began to die. Chuckling Dave and slightly giggling Kurt returned to their normal positions on the bench. Soon, laughter came to an end and Dave and Kurt looked at each other, both with little smiles on their faces.
"It feels good to just talk to you." Dave admitted.
"Yes, it does feel good." Kurt quietly confirmed.
They were still looking at each other, little smiles on their faces. A truce and the beginnings of trust were formed and both boys were eager to keep it going.
"Dave?"
"Hmm?"
Kurt sat up straight, indicating he had a serious question.
"Why the change of heart?"
Dave looked at him confused.
"I mean, I know you said you didn't want to hurt me anymore and now you want to…protect me."
Dave nodded.
"But why now? What changed?"
Dave frowned, looking at the floor.
"Kurt," Dave began, "for so long, I almost looked at you as if you weren't human. I…" Dave struggled for words, rubbing his beefy hands together as Kurt patiently watched, "it wasn't until today that I saw the damage I was doing. It changed me. It …effected me."
Kurt scooted closer to Dave. Dave took all this in and waited until Kurt was where he wanted to be. Kurt settled about a foot away from Dave, sitting like he was – his feet over the edge of the bench, hands on either side of the bench for balance. Kurt noticed that their hands were only inches apart.
"It's probably a coincidence", Dave started again, almost painfully, "but I'm slowly coming to terms with …that side of my life."
Kurt of course knew what he was talking about, but chose not to interrupt him.
"I've looked up some things online on my laptop." Dave said.
Kurt simply continued watching Dave, waiting, fascinated by hearing a conversation like this for the first time in his life. Blaine hadn't opened up to him like this when he met him at Dalton. Kurt eagerly beckoned for Dave to continue.
"I looked up that PFLAG group," Dave began with a little smile, knowing Kurt would understand the reference, "and I looked up other things. Things like fashion, Broadway, gay terminology, rainbow flags, gay athletes, even gay porn."
Dave shied away from Kurt as he finished what he was saying, but Kurt wasn't fazed. Dave argued with himself how much he should reveal, but he wanted Kurt's trust. He wanted-, no he needed an ally.
"For so long, I thought being gay meant you had to like fashion and Broadway, and I don't. It took me a while to see that there's a variety of gay people out there." Dave said.
Dave chuckled. "I bet if I were to be more…open, I'd be considered a bear cub."
Kurt chose this time to interrupt.
"Is that because you look like Yogi?" Kurt asked, genuinely.
But Dave loved the reference and wasn't offended at all.
"No. It has something to do with my build. I'm burly or…something." Dave answered.
Silence. Dave had said the most he'd ever said about the gay part of him. He was a bit overwhelmed and Kurt chose not to push him. He just quietly encouraged Dave to continue. But Dave just stared at him.
I don't know how to proceed, Kurt.
Kurt studied Dave, trying to figure out what was going on in David Karofsky's head. Kurt couldn't stand the silence any longer and chose to talk.
"Could I ask you a question?" Kurt suddenly asked.
"Of course." Dave said, turning back to Kurt.
"Do you want to get married?"
The question floored Dave. He wasn't expecting this at all. Dave didn't hide his surprise either.
"Well…that's…um…" Dave struggled and finally smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I know so far eleven states have legalized gay marriage and more states are falling in line with it. I wouldn't doubt it becomes a Federal right and is recognized throughout the world someday."
Kurt was amazed.
"David, I had no idea you would answer that way!" Kurt said, smiling.
Dave dropped his head a little, a cute little embarrassed smile on his face. Kurt couldn't help noticing how sweet Dave could be, when Karofsky was gone. Kurt liked Dave – at least, he liked him right now, too keenly aware that Karofsky could reappear at any moment. But as it stood, Dave was here and Kurt was very comfortable with him.
"Well, I don't get to talk like this very much. I mean, nobody besides you and that Bland guy know that I'm….." Dave halted. Kurt smiled even broader and encouraged Dave with his eyes. But Dave wouldn't budge.
"Say it…" Kurt whispered.
Dave looked at Kurt, with a boyish fear in his eyes. Kurt knew what to do – he clasped Dave's hand again, but this time he stroked his thumb over Dave's thick, meaty hand. Dave's eyes never left Kurt's and he held onto that gaze for dear life. He knew he had to say it. He could do it. He had to.
I can do this.
"I'm gay." Dave quickly blurted. His eyes bulged as did Kurt's. Kurt's smile changed into a sympathetic, warm glow that helped Dave's own bursting heart. Dave smiled, the years of hate and oppression blowing off his shoulders and arms.
Dave closed his eyes for a moment, opening them back up with Kurt's warm smile in front of him.
Dave smiled.
"Thank you Kurt." Dave said genuinely.
"Anytime, Dave." Kurt answered.
But Dave gave Kurt a questioning look with that response.
"D-do you mean that?" Dave asked.
"What?"
"Anytime? C-can I talk to you anytime about…this? Or other things?" Dave bashfully asked. Dave's boyish approach to this oh so heavy topic just warmed Kurt's heart.
Kurt took a moment to sit up straighter, tightening his grip on Dave's hand as Dave gripped back on Kurt's hand. Kurt knew what his answer had to be and he briefly considered whether Dave was worth it. This boy, who was a fierce bully, then a closeted fiercer bully, only to have revealed that he was just as scared and alone as Kurt was, could become an ally. Maybe even a friend.
So, Kurt did what others had come to learn about him. He would be supportive, forgiving, and helpful. He resolutely answered Dave's question, with loving, supportive, even passionate thoughts of a peaceful future.
"Yes."
.
