A/N: For LillylovesCaskett who requested this. I hope you like it It's just a bit on the angtsy, dark-ish side…


And they scream

The worst things in life come free to us

Cause we're just under the upper hand

And go mad for a couple grams


It was cold, colder than usual, but that's not what she was focused on as she drew the ratty old sheet someone had felt sorry enough to her, around her shoulders. It was the intense need of a fix that filled her thoughts. That's all she ever thought about now, when she would get her next fix and when she did get that fix, well there really was no room for thinking.

She sat in her usual place in front of a convenience store, holding out her hand in hopes that someone would drop her something, anything that she could trade for her fix. It was the Christmas season and people were usually filled with the holiday spirit, making them looser and kinder and more likely to support a begging woman on the side of the street.

She dropped her hand after a while and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. She tried to let the noisy streets of New York in the Christmas take her mind off of her desperate need for drugs. It made no sense thinking about it when she couldn't get it.

She opened her eyes again and looked into the cup she had placed by her side. She picked up the cup and looked again, pulling out a crisp fifty dollar bill someone must've have just dropped in there. She unfolded the bill and turned it over in her gloved hands, staring at it, waiting for it to disappear, for someone to yank it out of her hands, for it to be some cruel, sick joke. But it didn't, the $50 remained, as did her need for craving.

Her eyes flashed up and scanned the crowd, checking if she could find any hint of who had left this generous donation for her. All she saw was the constantly busy crowd, all she saw were people who were minding their own business, walking past her, dropping in a quarter or two, but no sign of someone watching her to see if she noticed or anyone who looked kind enough.

She hurriedly got to her feet, shivering from the cold and her lack of layers. The cold had been something she had gotten used to, so her lack of layers didn't bother her as much as people would think, not that people would think, because people didn't care.

She continued scanning the crowd as she made her way back to her lame excuse for an apartment. She noticed a paper on the front door, with the word "Eviction Notice" printed in bold on the paper. She ripped the paper off of her door, crumpled it up and tossed it into a pile with all the others. She tried to pull her door open, but she couldn't, she looked down, finally noticing the lock on her door, preventing her entry.

"Damn it!" She cursed and leaned against the door.

She didn't know what to do now, life wasn't the easiest for her now. Her family and friends had given up on her since she fell into the hands of the monster and lost all control of herself. She tried it once, it didn't affect her, but then she tried it again and then another and now here she was. Broke, homeless, hungry and in need of a dose.

She turned her back against the door and rubbed the tears roughly from her face, trying to get herself together, as much as she could with no home, food, clothes and a vicious addiction.

She began walking to where she knew he would be, because she so desperately needed this, but she also needed food. She paused briefly in front of the same convenient store she was just in front of, looking between the money in her hands and the store.

As if trying to answer her question, her stomach grumbled and she decided, she would just have to settle for less tonight, it was better than nothing and at least she could have something to hold her over.

She stepped into the store and ignored the stares and blatant judgement other patrons sent her way. She made her way to the food section and picked out a sandwich and asked for a cup of coffee. When she received her change, she hoped that her dealer would just settle for what she had tonight.

She quickly ate the sandwich and sipped the hot coffee, allowing it to warm her insides, and ease a bit of her craving.

She spotted her dealer where he always was and approached him.

"Can I have my usual?" She said in a low voice, looking around to check if anyone was watching as the mysterious man slide a plastic bag into her hand and took the money.

She was about to walk away when he called her back.

"Hey. You're short." He said.

Damn it.

"I know, but its' just a few bucks. Can't you just let it go?" She pleaded.

He shook his head, "No can do, boss doesn't allow it."

"I'll pay you next time!" She said desperately as he stretched out his hand for the bag.

"I can't trust that." He said roughly as he grabbed the bag from her.

"Please! I need this!" She cried, feeling the burning need within her grow stronger for something just a few bucks out of her reach.

He began walking away and she threw her now empty cup of coffee at him, hitting him right in the head. He turned and drew a knife, quickly stepping up to her.

"Listen here bitch, this isn't a charity, this is a business and if you want to spend your extra bucks buying a damn cuppa Joes, then go ahead, but don't expect us to feel sorry for you and sell ourselves short just to help your pathetic little ass. It's every man for himself out here and I'd rather not have my boss put a gun to my head. I've got a family to feed." He spat, pressing the knife into her abdomen.

She gasped as she felt the pressure and her heart rate sped up, she wondered if this was how she was going to die, begging for drug, at the hand of a no good drug dealer. It wasn't the best way to die, but what else could she expect from the life she currently lived?

She doubled over when he stepped out of her space, taking his knife with him and walking away. She watched him and her drugs go and she cried. She cried over being so close, but being so stupid as to give in to the need for food, she cursed herself for getting addicted in the first place, for not listening to those who loved her.

She rose to her feet and began walking, she wasn't going anywhere in particular, she had nowhere to go anyways. She had turned on to a dark alley when she heard the voices of men behind her and she became terrified and began walking a bit faster.

"Hey Will! Check this one out!" One man slurred.

"What's that? You got another one?" A man she assumed to be Will respond.

"Wow, your standards have decreased Josh." Another slurred.

She heard the voices coming closer and she looked around frantically, trying to find some way to escape.

"You found anyone better Tom?" He threw back.

"Hey sexy! Slow down! Where you going?"

They came closer.

"You looking for a good time?" One laughed.

She turned around and saw three men staggering towards her and she ran and they immediately ran after her, as much as drunk men could run.

She didn't make it far before tripping and falling forward to her hands, but before she could get up she felt hands grabbing her.

"Hey, why you running? Don't be afraid, we'll treat you right, right Josh?" The man turned to another man by his side, who was staring at her as if he was ready to ravish her.

"Absolutely, we'll treat you as ladies like you should be treated." He smiled, sending a chilling feeling down her stomach as she tried to get up and run again.

They grabbed her before she could, throwing her to the ground again.

"Just let me go!" She screamed, kicking after them as they closed in on her, hands everywhere.

She had never felt so humiliated as she did now, she never thought she would see the day any man took advantage of her.

A sob broke past her lips as one of the men ripped her shirt off, his rough hand instantly running over her bare arm.

She continued kicking and screaming, hoping someone might hear and help her and she was about to give up when she heard someone.

"Hey! Hey stop that!"

The men laughed and continued harassing her.

"I called the cops!" The voice yelled, coming closer.

She closed her eyes and felt the men remove their hands.

"Oh yea? You called the cops for this crap?" One of the men asked.

"So where are they?" Another asked, right as the sound of sirens sounded.

"Shit."

"Let's go."

"Snitch."

She heard the men say as they ran off into the night. She kept her eyes closed as she lay on the floor, wishing the ground would swallow her right up.

"You okay?" She heard the man ask.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, her hero. He looked middle aged, but handsome and she think she recognized him. She sat up and looked at him again.

Richard Castle.

Richard Castle saved her. She had read his books, back when she was clean, but she had sold them to get more drugs and she regretted it ever since.

"You look like you need a good meal." He smiled, extending a hand.

She eyed it suspiciously, why would he want anything to do with her? What was the catch?

"I'm Richard Castle and you are?" He said, dropping his hand.

"Kate." She mumbled, trying to stand.

"Well Kate, how about we get you out of here and get you something to eat?" He suggested as he watched her rise to her feet.

She could really do with some food right now, since he was offering and the only thing she wanted more than food well, she didn't think he would agree to buy that for her.

"Okay." She agreed, hoping this wasn't just some sick joke.

He walked her out of the alley and back on to the streets, leading her to a small diner on the corner of the street, ushering her to a booth in the back.

The waitress came over, with a big smile on her face when she saw him, that smile of course, turned into a grimace of disgust when she saw Kate. She handed them their menus and poured hot coffee into their cups and walked away.

"Go ahead, order anything you want." He said when he noticed she hadn't picked up her menu.

She hesitantly picked it up, she didn't need to go through it though, she already knew what was in it. She used to come here, with her friends and order a burger, fries and a shake and that is what she did order when the waitress came back to take their orders.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked him, curiosity getting the better of her.

He glanced up at her, "Because you look like you need it and I have the money, besides, I like to help people."

She just stared at him as he sipped his coffee as if nothing was strange at all about this.

"Do you do this often?" She asked.

"Have dinner with random women I meet getting beat up on the street?" He asked, clearly joking.

She ducked her head in embarrassment.

"No, I don't. Now drink your coffee, you look cold."

She did as she was told, wrapping her hands around the warm ceramic mug and sipping her coffee. They remained in silence until the waitress brought their food to them and Kate's mouth was basically watering.

If he noticed, he said nothing as she dug into her food. He didn't order anything but a milkshake and just sat back watching her.

When she finished, she pushed the empty plate away from her a sat back, feeling just a bit better, now if only she had a place to stay.

The waitress brought the bill and he paid it, leaving a generous tip she couldn't help but notice.

"Where are you staying?" He asked her.

"Um, I got a place." She lied.

"Where?"

"Around the corner."

"Do you want me to drop you off?" He asked.

She shook her head, "No, but thanks for this. Really."

She stood and offered him a small smile as he stood.

"It's no problem, I'm just glad I could help in some way." He smiled back, a smile so bright it warmed her heart.

She nodded and began to walk to the door. He followed immediately, stopping her outside the door.

"Hey Kate," He said, pulling out his wallet, "Here, just in case. Take care."

She was shocked as he handed her $100, smiling as he walked away.

Maybe he was an angel.

She tucked it in her pocket, thanking whoever for sending him her way, she knew what she had to do now.


He was packing up a game of scrabble he was playing with Alexis when his mother rushed down the stairs.

"Richard dear! Turn on the news!" She told him.

Immediately, he switched on the news and his heart sank at what he saw.

"That's the lady you gave the $50 yesterday!" She exclaimed, coming to sit beside him on the couch.

They sat in silence as they listened to the news.

She used to be a detective, one of the best they said. She got into drugs and sold all her belongings for drugs. Her friends and family apparently abandoned her, seeing there was nothing else they could do for her.

She died. They had found her in the park, lying on the ground, with a bag of coke in her hand. She had overdosed they figured.

The woman he put money in her cup, the woman he saved from whatever those men would have done to her, the woman he sat down with and fed, the woman he gave more money to in hopes she would take care of herself with was now dead and he couldn't believe it.

Couldn't believe her fall from grace, to her inevitable death.

He shut off the TV, not wanting to hear anymore, it was making him sick. He didn't know her, but from what he heard, she was a remarkable woman before she met the monster and now it had taken her.

He didn't know about her or her life personally, all he knew now was that she must be an angel out there somewhere. Life wasn't fair, but at least she was free from it.


It's too cold outside, for angels to fly

Covered in white, closed eyes

And hoping for a better life.