Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera.

Author's Note: Another one of those necessary chapters before something interesting can happen. Despite the first and last sentence of this chapter, this is not the end. I actually expect that this story is going to be longer than dental school by the time its over. Christine just doesn't know that yet. Hmm, what else was I going to say... oh, I told someone that I would update in a day and that was, like, four days ago. So, Jamea, I'm sorry that I'm a dirty, rotten, liar. Here's a new chapter. Please review, it makes me happy.


Dear Journal,

I expect this to be my last entry. You see, I am leaving Paris tomorrow with Raoul. I met with him this evening and we discussed it.

"Christine? Christine! Have you been listening to a word I've said?"

On the evening of the second performance of Faust, Christine and Raoul sat comfortably in her dressing-room, talking easily about trivial things. Christine, however, appeared more distracted than usual.

"Oh… um… I'm sorry? What was that?"

"You're distracted tonight, my love, is something troubling you?"

She sighed and looked down at her lap. "Raoul, I need your help."

The last few weeks of playing 'engagement' had been so happy for her and she was not quite ready to give it up. But, now, she realized it could not last forever. When Faust was over, what would happen next? Would Erik expect her to return again? After several days of consideration, she decided it would be alright to enlist Raoul's help in her angel-troubles. It was a little selfish, she'd admit, but she couldn't help it. She was in love.

"Sure, Christine, what is it?"

"Um… not here. Follow me," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him toward the stairs.

I must have thoroughly confused the poor man, hauling him up to the rooftops like that, but I couldn't risk being heard.

After ascending at least three floors, Raoul, flushed and panting from the exertion, tugged at her hand. She stopped and looked at him curiously.

"Christine, what--"

"Shh, shh… not now, Raoul. Be quiet. We'll talk where no one can hear!"

"But where are we going?"

If I have learned nothing else in these past months, it is that Erik hears everything in his Opera.

"Up. Now, shhhh." she scolded before flitting up another flight of stairs. She floated, light as a feather, up the stairs and through buttressed and rafters. Jumping easily from beam to beam and dragging poor Raoul, gasping and puffing behind her.

At the same time, I promised Erik that I would not see Raoul outside the Opera.

It is certainly a pity that Raoul was having such trouble catching his breath. Had he been concentrating more on his surroundings, surely he would have noticed the shadow that followed silently behind him, mimicking his every move.

Christine, for her part, was not looking behind. She was concentrating on the narrow pathways in front of her. Perhaps she assumed Raoul would protect her. Perhaps she just wasn't thinking.

But, alas, the lovers did indeed have a follower.

So, I figured the best option would be to maneuver ourselves away from all the mirrors and trap-doors but still stay on the Opera house property. Hence--the roof.

When they reached the rooftop, the couple found a place to sit and rest under the great bronze statue of Apollo.

"Raoul," she started after a few moments of silence, "I need to talk to you."

He bit back the number of sarcastic comments that ran through his brain and finally answered, "Ahem… yes, my dear, that sounds like a good idea. Why don't you begin, hmm?"

"It's about Erik."

Ah, yes, Erik. My arch nemesis. How could I have forgotten? Raoul's handsome face was distorted with a sour frown and his eyebrows knitted together in thought.

"Raoul? Are you listening?" she asked after he didn't respond after a while.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be honest with you, though… you've been infuriatingly vague about this 'Erik' character from the moment I confronted you about it…. So you'll have to forgive me if I am slightly put off by the idea of a rival that I've never had the opportunity to challenge face-to-face… On top of that, I am not so inclined to think that you fear him so, as you would have be believe, due simply to the fact that you rush to his defense and even go to him willingly." As calm as he was trying to be, Raoul was practically fuming by the end of his little tirade.

Christine was trying to hold back tears. All the words that she had planned to say escaped her at this moment leaving only the overwhelming crawl into Raoul's arms and disappear forever. Any thoughts beyond that were lost to her.

I am ashamed to say that I had a little bit of a breakdown. I've pushed aside my thoughts in an effort to play Erik's games for so long that this sort of thing was bound to happen. One cannot be an actress indefinitely, after all.

Suddenly, she cried, "Raoul, my love, please! Let's run away together! Promise me you'll take me away from this place!"

The vicomte's earlier anger at the situation dissolved when he heard his beloved speak those words. He drew her into his embrace and held her tightly. Christine, my darling, beautiful girl, I will never let you go.

"Of course I will take you away!" he exclaimed, rising to his feet. "I'll fetch a carriage, we can leave right now!"

"No, no…" she said while pulling him back down, "We can leave tomorrow. I must sing once more."

I have to say, though, that Raoul handled it very well. Perhaps one day, when we are far away and married, we will be able to laugh about my hysterics on the roof of the Opera.

He nodded in mock-understanding. Why do I put up with these dramatics? If it was any other girl… ah, but there's the catch… it is not any other girl, is it? No, it is Christine. My Christine.

"But," she said, taking slow, deliberate breaths, "when the time comes, if I refuse to go with you, you must take me away by force."

He looked at her incredulously. "Why in the world would you say that? Are you planning on changing your mind?"

"I--I… I just don't know." Christine just looked down at her hands. This might be harder than I thought…

"It's because of him, isn't it?"

She nodded quietly. Then, she threw herself into his chest, nestling into him and shivering. "I'm afraid that, if I go back to him… to where he lives… underground. I am afraid I will never return." she whispered.

Raoul tried his best not to get frustrated, a feat that was aided immensely by the fact that this beautiful creature was cuddled in his arms and not his mysterious rival's.

"Well, then… just don't go back." he said simply, trying to keep the sarcasm from his voice. It all seemed so painfully obvious to him.

She looked up at him with a mix of horror, confusion, and amusement--as if his head had suddenly been transformed into… say… a parsnip.

That day will be a long time from now though. I need to think one step at a time.

In near-hysterics, she shook her head and moaned. "You don't understand, do you? It is not that simple, Raoul. You see, tomorrow is the last performance and he will expect me to return to him. When I do not, terrible things may happen… and he may come and get me anyway. Oh… but I can't do it, Raoul… I can't do it. He'll come and get me and drag me down to the cellars with him! But that is not the worst of it! No… no, it will be much worse than that! You see, he will get on his knees before me and he'll tell me that he loves me and… oh, and then he'll cry, Raoul. He'll cry out of those empty black eyes-sockets and that death's head… because, you see… because I will have broken his heart. I can't bear it, Raoul! I mustn't go back!" She rocked back and forth, shaking her head like a madwoman.

"Goodness, woman! Then, why, pray tell, will you not leave with me tonight?"

First step: finish tomorrow's performance. If I were as heartless as I wish I was, I would have left with Raoul tonight. But I can't help but feel that I owe something to Erik. After all, he gave me my voice and I'm fairly sure he got me this role.

"Because it would be too cruel, Raoul. I must sing this once more… but then you must come and get me from my dressing-room and take me away from here."

"You see!" he almost shouted, pulling back from her, "This is what I am talking about. You claim to be afraid of him, but you wish to spare his feelings! It doesn't make any sense. You're not making any sense!"

He would have continued ranting, but she stopped him when she perked up suddenly, having heard a faint sound from their otherwise quiet hiding place.

"Shhhh…. Raoul, did you hear that? Someone is up here!" she whispered urgently.

"NO!" he bellowed, shaking her by the shoulders. "No! No! No! You will not distract me, Christine! You will stop all this childish nonsense and tell me what is going on!"

What's more, though, I still feel guilty about how I have led Erik on these past few months. I really believe that everything I did was out of necessity, but I can't help but feel bad about my deception.

In his irritation, however, the boy did not notice the shadow, perched on Apollo's lyre, clenching his fists and fingering his lasso at the sight of him shaking Christine so harshly. How dare you touch her, insolent boy! She is mine! I will kill you for being so rough with her! But, no, now is not the time, is it? No, Erik, she will only despise you if you kill him now. Ah, but she despises you already, does she not? Even now she plans to betray you. Oh, my Christine, how could you do this to me?

I mean, think about it, I am not so self-centered that I cannot see the damage I've done. I took the heart of an already broken man and am about to crush it.

"You are right, Raoul. I have not been completely honest with you. But… I will be now… if you'll allow it."

"Please do." he begged, looking into her eyes.

"Do you remember what I told you at Perros? About the voice that said he was an angel?"

He nodded stiffly, wondering where she was going with this. Christine continued.

"Well, the 'Angel of Music' that came to me in my dressing-room and Erik are one and the same."

At first, Raoul made to speak. He was frustrated and not sure whether to believe her or not. Christine, however, motioned for him to be silent and continued her explanation.

She told him everything from the point that she left off in Perros. She described the kidnapping, or what she could remember of it. She told him what happened during those weeks she was missing.

I just don't see how I have any other options. The least I can do is finish the performance tomorrow as a proper goodbye.

Why do I still feel so bad?

He brought this on himself. You can't just go around kidnapping people to make them love you. Actually, I think it's safe to say that is possibly the worst way to go about winning someone's affections.

"I hate him, Christine! If I get the chance I will kill him! Tell me that you hate him too…"

She shook her head sadly. "No, Raoul, I do not hate Erik…"

He scoffed at this. "Of course you don't! You love him, don't you? I mean, it's the kind of excitement girls go for, right? A genius who lives in a castle underground?" he accused.

"Stop it, Raoul!" she shouted, "Stop doubting my love for you! I am trying to tell you the truth. If you truly love me, you will set aside your childish insecurities and help me!"

He was silent, a little taken aback by her outburst. After Christine was certain he was not going to interrupt again, she continued.

When she told him about the day she snatched off his mask, he gasped as she described his face. He held her closer and both turned around when they thought they heard another sound on the rooftop--the kind of half moan, half sob that one hears from only the truly wretched.

"Did you hear that, Christine? I think someone is in pain."

I have no doubt of it, she thought to herself, if not yet anyway then soon. She had a faint intuition that they were not alone on that roof, that perhaps he had followed them. She had no way of being certain though for, after months of knowing Erik, she had begun to hear sounds and sighs everywhere. Still, she mused, even if he is here, I am already in way too far to stop now. I am going to be in a lot of trouble for what I've said here… but, Raoul is already really frustrated with all this. If I stop now, Raoul will leave me out of frustration and I'll be forced to face Erik's temper all alone.

Enough of those thoughts, though. I'll have plenty of time to reconcile with my guilt once I am safely far away with Raoul.

In the end, she decided it would be best to press forward rather than backtrack.

"No, I heard nothing. I'm sure it's only the wind."

Steadying herself with deep, measured breaths, she continued her story, ending with an explanation of the events of the masked ball.

"And, to think," he murmured, "that is when I doubted your love for me…"

"Don't you see, Raoul? I did it to protect you."

He smiled down at her. She does love me! And brushed a kiss lightly across her lips, delighting in the blush that followed.

If I wasn't already under enough pressure, I lost the ring.

She sighed and looked down at her hands, thinking of the conversation she had with Erik that night when he let her go and gave her his ring. His ring! She looked closer at her hands, suddenly noticing the absence of the gold ring on her finger.

How could I be so stupid? I lost his ring. I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find it. I bet you wonder why I can just sit here and write that so calmly. Well, it is because I had ample time to panic and search and cry and, finally resign myself to it before sitting down to my journal.

Here is my plan, though: If I run away with Raoul tomorrow, Erik won't know that I'm not wearing the ring because I'll be gone. That makes sense, right?

Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now. Once Erik finds out what I've done, he'll kill us both and it won't matter whether or not I have a stupid gold ring on my finger. I can only trust that Raoul will come through and take us somewhere far away where Erik will never find us.

Think of all the possibilities! I wonder if he'd take me back to Sweden?

I suppose I do feel a little bad leaving Mamma Valerius behind. But, I'm afraid there's nothing to be done about that at the moment. Maybe, when Raoul and I are safely tucked away somewhere, he will send for her. I'd like that.

Alright, enough of this for tonight. I have to go to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow!

Goodbye, dear journal,

Christine