Chapter 5

Kozik snorted laughing uncomfortably not sure what to do. He stared at Tara waiting for her to reveal that she was joking but she didn't she just stood looking serious and concerned.

"Doc I don't know what's going on but in case you didn't realise I'm a dude I have a dick and no tits so you must have mixed my blood up with someone else because it's impossible for me to be pregnant. I'm a dude." He stuttered defensively.

"We are very aware of that and we checked to make sure your blood wasn't mixed up with somebody else' but it wasn't, we've checked and checked and checked again. This machine is for ultrasounds, I'm sure you've seen one before but I'll explain what it does anyway I'm going to put some gel on your stomach and slowly move a wand across and it will so your insides and hopefully show us if you do in fact have a baby in there. Is that ok can I do that?" Tara asked calmly. She rubbed Kozik's arm and smiled at him reassuringly when he looked at her with sheer bemusement and panic in his eyes. "Everything's going to be fine, ok?"

"I don't see how the fuck that's possible you've just told me that me a man with a dick is pregnant. I can't see anything being ok. Oh fuck I'm gunna be sick, I'm gunna be sick." Tara quickly reached for a small cardboard bowl and held it under Kozik's mouth as he threw up. She rubbed his back soothingly not being able to do anything else. After a few more harsh and heavy retches Kozik sat back with tears in his eyes. "Thanks."

"It's fine. Let me do this ultrasound so we can see what's going on and stop you worrying." Kozik pushed the blanket down and pulled his hospital gown up and stared down at his firm abdomen. Tara poured a small amount of gel on Kozik's stomach making him hiss at the cold. "Do you want to see?" Kozik shook his head and turned his gaze to his finger nails pulling at them distractedly. Tara grabbed the small ultrasound wand and started slowly sliding it through the gel; she looked at the screen checking and double checking everything and her breath hitched when she saw a tiny round dark blob with a fluttering shape in the middle. Kozik turned his head round when he heard the intake of breath and began panicking again.

"What is it, what's going on?" Tara looked at him and smiled. Without asking for his permission she turned the screen around and pointed at the small blob. Kozik looked unable to help himself not sure what he was seeing. He looked up at Tara and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He coughed and tried to speak again his voice coming out scratchy and high pitched, "What is it?"

"That Kozik is your baby. As far as I can see it looks healthy and like it's growing properly. Give me one second and I'll find out more." Tara moved the wand around again and smiled when she saw what she was looking for. "All of this stuff around it is your uterus and the amniotic sack that's feeding the baby. Can you see it?" Kozik nodded his head at the screen not sure what else to do. "What are you going to do?" Tara asked delicately. Kozik turned his gaze to her staring blankly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Kozik you don't have to keep it if you don't want to. You could have a termination or give it up for adoption if you wanted." At Tara's words Kozik brought his hands up to his stomach protectively, feeling the gloopy gel slide between his fingers."

"No you're not killing my baby." He rushed out. The second the words left his mouth he realised what he had said and started breathing erratically. "Holy fucking shit I'm gunna have a baby like actually give birth to a baby. Fuck I think I'm gunna pass out."

"No you're not Kozik your fine just listen to me, take a deep breath in and hold it until I say." Kozik did as he was told and sucked in a deep breath. Tara counted in her head smiling the whole time. "OK Kozik let it out nice and slow now." Again Kozik did as he was told and let the breath out feeling a lot calmer. "Feel better now."

"Yeah thanks. So I guess I'm having a baby this is crazy. Holy shit what are the guys going to say oh god what about Tig. He's gunna hate me and I'm gunna lose him again. I only just got him back."

"Everything will be fine they all love you including Tig they'll support you and if they don't me and Gemma will kick all their asses." Kozik laughed smiling gratefully at Tara's attempt at lightening the mood. "Let me clean you up then we can talk properly. Do you want me to print off a photo of the ultrasound?" Kozik looked at the screen again a grinned broadly nodding his head.

"Yes please." Tara pressed a few buttons and began wiping Kozik's stomach and hands clean as the photo was printed out. Just as she finished the photo popped out of the machine and she passed it over to Kozik. "It's definitely a normal healthy baby, yeah?"

"Yep well as normal as a baby can be with Tig as its dad. Tig is its dad right."

"Yeah he's definitely the dad. Wait does that mean that I'm the mom?" Tara laughed at the panic once again rising in Kozik's voice.

"No you can be its dad too, its gunna have about a hundred uncles so why not two dads. Gee let's hope this baby is a boy otherwise none of you will know what to do. So when are you going to tell Tig?"

"Now I guess. Will you be in here with me, he's not gunna believe me but if you say it's true as well then he'll have to." Kozik pleaded sadly.

"Of course, I'll go and get him now and we'll all talk." Kozik let out a sigh of relief and relaxed slightly. "I'll be right back." Tara didn't wait for an answer before walking out the room. Once the door was shut she lent up against the wall and let out a shaky breath. "Holy shit this is beyond crazy, only these guys." She whispered to herself exasperatedly. She stood up and straightened out her clothes before walking towards the waiting room.

Tig stood in the waiting room pacing up and down with his heart hammering in his chest. He pulled at the plastic cup in his hands throwing away the broken bits.

"Tiggy come and sit down brother you're making me feel sick keep pacing up and down like that. Come on." Chibs said from his seat further in the room. Tig turned and scowled at him chucking the cup to the floor.

"I can't just fucking sit down anything could being going on in there for fuck sake and what I'm just meant to sit and fuck about, I don't think so." He shouted angrily. Clay stood up and pushed him away knowing he wouldn't push back. "Not now Clay I can't deal right now."

"This isn't our fault so stop being a prick and sit and wait like everybody else. We're trying to help here." Clay said forcefully. Tig nodded and peered around Clay's shoulder to look at Chibs.

"I'm sorry brother I just want to get out of here. I can't stand it." Chibs stared back and began to smile.

"It's fine. There's Tara go see what's going on." Tig span round and spotted Tara instantly walking towards here in a hurry, he calmed again when he saw she was smiling and smiled back.

"What's going on?"

"Come with me Kozik wants to talk to you we're going to explain what's wrong with him." Without further ado Tara turned around and walked away. Tig raised his eyebrows unsure what to take from her tone so he just followed not saying a word. He quickly stepped into Kozik's room as Tara held the door open immediately worrying when he saw that Kozik was twiddling his thumbs and not looking up. Tara shut the door and stepped over to the bed standing close enough to Kozik to be able to touch his hand if necessary. "Do you want to tell him or shall I?"

"I can do it; it's a pretty simple sentence…"

"Well get on with saying it then 'coz I'm freaking out over here." Tig barked out. Kozik flinched at the tone and squeezed the bed sheets between his fingers. "Seriously what's going on?"

"Come sit I've got to tell you this and I don't want to with you all the way over there. Come on." Kozik patted the bed next to his leg and tried to smile reassuringly. Tig frowned but stepped forwards anyway and perched on the edge of the bed slightly out of Kozik's reach. "Come closer it's not catching don't worry." Tig snorted and shuffled closer pinching the back of Kozik's hand making him hiss. "Ow you prick that hurt."

"Good now tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Ok holy fuck this is hard…when I was out of it they took some of my blood and ran some tests on it to find out what was wrong and there was a mix up so it went for more test than normal. They found a hormone in there that shouldn't be so they ran more tests but it was right."

"So what does that mean? For fuck sake Kozi just tell me what the fuck is going on you're driving me crazy. Fucking spit it out." Tig shouted angrily.

"Tig that's enough calm down and give him a chance." Tara ordered sternly. Tig sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head indicating he was calm and for Kozik to carry on. Kozik took his own deep breath and slowly let it out before speaking,

"You're not going to believe me when I tell you this. Fuck I can't do this it's too hard. Fuck sake it's all your fault anyway so I don't know why this is so fucking hard. I'm just gunna show you, here." Kozik spat out in a big rush. He thrust the ultrasound picture into Tig's hand and looked away. Tig stared at the picture not sure what he was looking at. He looked from Kozik to Tara getting more and more confused by the second.

"What is it what am I looking at?" Tara looked at Kozik but he refused to meet her gaze so she sighed and leaned over the bed pointing at the picture in Tig's hand.

"This is a baby and this right here is the amniotic sac and the womb. This is your baby Tig." She said delicately. Tig stared at her for a second with none of the words fitting together. He could feel his heart racing as he grew more and more confused. He pushed off of the bed and stepped back frowning at Kozik's forlorn and down cast face.

"This is bullshit. You're a dude and you're lying and… and this is bullshit. It's not possible and I don't believe you. What's really going on and don't lie this time just tell me." Once again Kozik stayed quiet and not moving. "Fucking answer me." Tig bellowed. Kozik whipped his head up at the sound and stared wide eyed at him fumbling for words.

"Tig it is true I wouldn't lie and neither would Kozik just calm down and we'll talk." Tara tried to placate but Tig just shook his head stepping further away.

"You're fucking lying and pulling some bullshit for god knows what reason but I'm not listening to this anymore. I knew I should never have trusted you I fucking knew you'd fuck me over again. I want you gone as soon as you're out of this place I want you to leave and never come back." Without waiting for a reply Tig stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. Kozik sat staring at the empty space that Tig had just stood in. He looked at Tara and received a pitying one back so turned his body from her and laid down into the bed pulling the covers close and quietly started to cry.