Chapter 7

"Hey how are you feeling?" Kozik groaned and clutched at his head as his vision swam. "Just take it easy you passed out again but you're fine now. Just relax." Tara soothed happily. He looked at her with big wide eyes as her words sank in,

"What about the baby is the baby ok?" he panicked.

"The baby is fine while you were unconscious we did another ultrasound and it has a strong healthy heart beat everything looks fine. You on the other hand need to stay calm and stop worrying about everything. Try and get some more rest I'm going to go and tell the guys that you're ok."

"Can I go home soon doc no offense but I can't stand this place."

"I think all going well and as long as you stay calm you should be able to go home tonight. Now get some rest, a nurse will be in in about an hour with some food, I'll be back later." Tara started walking to the door but stopped when she got to it and turned around. "I know it's not my place but Tig really was trying earlier he's been worried sick about you. He wants to be part of this, all that's got to be done is you trusting him enough and letting him."

"Doc it's not that simple we're completely fucked we just do stuff to piss the other one off we can't have a baby together. I'll explain to him that I'm sticking around until after it's born and then I'm leaving. He'll jump at the chance to get out of this thing." Kozik explained sadly. Tara sighed and shook her head disbelievingly.

"I don't think he will. I think he really does want this I've seen him he's worried about the both of you. Give him a chance before you make any decisions. I'll leave you alone to get some sleep and I'll see you in a while."

"Don't let any of them in especially Tig I don't want to see anyone yet. Please." Tara just nodded and walked out leaving Kozik to sit and think. He laid down and gently rubbed his hand against his stomach and looked down at it not being able to stop the smile. "This is fu… umm weird so just give me a second ok baby. I'm your dad, I'm the one your inside right now. It's my job to make you big and healthy so that you can kick some ass when you're older. Your other dad he's different and we kind of love him but we can't have him with us he's not ready and he doesn't understand how I'm having you. So once you're born it's just going to be me and you and I'm gunna do my best to make sure that that's good enough for you. I'm gunna stop talking now because if somebody walks past they'll think I'm crazy for talking to my belly because they don't know that you're in there. Anyway I love you baby and I'll talk to you later." Kozik laughed at himself and closed his eyes to sleep.

Tig stood staring down at the ultrasound picture having not moved for the last half an hour. All he could think was that he had lost the two most important people in his life. He felt a jolt through his chest at the thought and clutched at it. He choked down a sob and slid down the wall to land on the floor. He buried his head in his hands and started to quietly cry at his loss.

Juice nudged Chibs and once he had his attention nodded his head over to Tig having noticed his slumped shaking shoulders. Chibs sighed and patted Juice's leg before quickly getting up and walking to Tig. He sat down next to him and pulled him into a tight hug kissing the top of his head. Tig grabbed at him and clung onto his chest.

"It's alright fella their going to be fine you don't need to get yourself worked up you don't know if anything's wrong. Everything's going to be fine just calm down." Tig shook his head and sucked in a huge breath pulling away from him,

"Kozik might be but what about the baby. He hates me already what if I've made him lose the baby by pissing him off. Why haven't they told me what's going on? It's been fucking ages and nobody has told me anything, I need to know." Tig ranted aggressively. He pushed at Chibs' chest feeling hot and overwhelmed. Chibs moved away getting the point and giving him his space. "I just want to know what's going on."

"I know brother we all do and I'm sure when they can tell us they will you've just got to be patient. Everything will be ok. Come and get some coffee and then I'll go and see what's going on." Chibs stood and pulled Tig up with him. He pulled him towards the coffee machine ignoring his crumbling. "Come on Tig everything will be ok."

"Stop fucking saying that you don't know that for all you know they're both dead. Just face it they're both dead and it's all my fault no shitty cheap coffee if going to change that." Tig swung his hand around and punched the coffee machine hissing at the stab of pain that shot up through his arm. He brought his arm back to swing again but Chibs grabbed it and stopped him.

"That's not going to help and you'll get yourself kicked out so just relax." Tig shrugged him off and pushed him away bringing his hand back to hit Chibs.

"Tig if you hit him you will leave and won't come back in. Stop being so pathetic and pull yourself together. Calm down and I'll come and find you in five minutes and if I find out you've hit anyone you'll be out of here so fast your head will spin." Tara said forcefully from the waiting room door. Tig dropped his hand at the voice and span on his heels to face Tara's retreating back.

"Doc wait…" He quickly ran after her speeding through the doors. Without thinking he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She let out a yelp at the pain and yanked her arm back clutching it to her chest. "Shit Tara I'm sorry I didn't mean… I'm sorry." Jax was suddenly at his side pushing him out of the way.

"What the fuck Tig, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry I didn't think I just I'm sorry."

"It's fine Tig it didn't hurt that much it was just the shock." Tara could feel Jax vibrating with anger next to her. She put a relaxing hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. "Its fine Jax honest he didn't hurt me. I'm fine. I presume the way you grabbed me you want to know what's going on, are you calm enough to sit and talk."

"Yeah I'm calm, I'm really sorry for grabbing you please just tell me what's going on. Is it the baby oh fuck the baby's dead isn't it, what about Kozik is he ok, is he alive?"

"Wow slow down Tig he's fine and the baby's fine as well we did another scan and it still looks healthy and strong. Kozik's fine he was just dehydrated and stressed his body shut down for a few minutes to get his energy back up. He just needs some rest and some food and he'll be fine. Everything is fine." Tara reassured. Tig let out a huge sigh of relief and sank down onto a chair. Tara rubbed his shoulder and sat next to him smiling.

"Thank you thank you so much doc. Can I go and see him I really need to see him."

"He doesn't want to see anyone right now he's thinking some things through…"

"What do you mean thinking some things through?"

"I… Tig he's scared and on his own with this you really hurt him when you ran away. I shouldn't tell you this but he said that once he's had the baby he's leaving." Tig shot up out of his seat and stared down at Tara in shock.

"What do you mean he's leaving he can't leave it's my baby too and… and he can't leave. I won't let him he can't leave." Tig shouted angrily. Jax moved and stood protectively close to Tara. Tig saw and his face fell with all the anger dissipating from his body. "I wouldn't hurt her I just I wouldn't, brother I'm sorry."

"Just mind your temper none of this is her fault." Jax said calmly. Tig nodded and moved away again.

"Tig he thinks that you don't want this and you telling him that you do isn't going to change that you have to prove it to him. Don't blow up at him again because he can't deal with that and neither can his body. I'll let you in there but I'm being deadly serious if he tells you to leave you leave and don't argue." Tig nodded eagerly. "He's in the same room seriously Tig don't stress him out he can't handle anymore today."

"I won't I promise, thank you doc. I'm gunna get you the biggest drink you've ever had after this." He grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a hug before kissing her cheek. Tara blushed and lightly hit his arm with a smile.

"We'll settle for you babysitting, it will be good for you to learn what to do with a baby." Tig grinned at the thought and nodded. "Go and see him and fix it. Remember don't get him stressed out."

"Thanks doc." Tig walked away with a nervous smile on his face. He strolled down the corridor almost excited to see Kozik but more than a little bit nervous. He stood outside the room and looked in through the window the nervous racketing up a notch when he saw Kozik's tired face. He knocked and smiled when Kozik looked up and saw him. Kozik lifted his hand and showed him his middle finger. Tig laughed as he pushed the door open.

"I told Tara I don't want to see anyone especially you so fuck off." Kozik grumbled. He turned his back to Tig hoping he'd leave but also feeling intrigued as to what he would say.

"I know you told her that and I know you told her that after you've had the baby you're leaving but I don't want you to. I want you to be here and I want you to stay…" Kozik opened his mouth to argue but Tig held his hand up. "Let me finish or I'll never say it and I would have fucked everything up. Before you left when we fucked it was good… it was more than good it was amazing. You said that you'd missed being with me having me with you and I did to I still do. I missed you those two months were horrible and all I wanted was to see you again. I want you to stay here with me and I want to be a dad to our baby so please stay." Kozik turned back to him with a disbelieving look on his face.

"You don't mean that you just don't want to be the guy that nobody likes because you pushed me away. I don't believe you." Tig took a couple of steps closer to the bed and reached out with his hand but thought better of when Kozik flinched away.

"I'm not I swear to you that I want you to stay… fuck you're going to make me say it aren't you… I love you ok. I love this baby and I love you. When I thought that something was wrong with you I could literally feel my heart breaking I was so scared I was going to lose you both I couldn't cope with that." Tig drifted off and wiped at his eyes pushing away the tears that were threatening to fall. Kozik sat up and sucked in a deep breath pushing his fingers through his hair.

"You have to mean it you can't just say that and not stand by it. This is not a normal situation this is so fucked up and there's going to be a load of shit that comes with it that you've got to deal with and not run away from can you do that?"

"I'll try my best, I'll do anything if you stay… with me." Tig offered, the hope bleeding into his voice.

"Anything?" Kozik asked with a flirtatious smile on his face. Tig smiled and took the last step to the bed.

"Anything. So are you staying?" Kozik chewed on his bottom lip thinking everything through. He knew that there were risks and that Tig might let them down again but he also knew that he loved him and that he wanted to be with him. He gave a heavy sigh and slowly nodded. Tig surged forward excitedly but Kozik held his hands up to stop him.

"If you ever leave us like that again I swear to god I will make sure you never see us again, understood?"

"Yeah I promise. I'll do whatever you need me to and I'll do my best to make sure that I never let you down, either of you." Kozik lowered his hands and grinned pulling at Tig's shirt. Tig moved forward and climbed onto the bed moving into the space between Kozik's legs. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kozik's enjoying the slow movements. Kozik moaned when he felt Tig's weight on him and lifted his hips into the touch. Tig pulled his lips away and smiled up at him, "Eager aren't you, not here though. Once you're out of here I'm gunna take you home and fuck you so hard that it will be impossible for me to go anywhere even if I wanted to because I will be buried so deep inside you we'll both feel it for a week. Then when it's worn off we'll do it again and I'll prove myself to you over and over." Kozik moaned at the thought and pulled Tig up for another kiss he pushed his tongue into his mouth and smiled when he was given instant access. He lifted his hips again and ground them into Tig's stomach. He pulled away to get some much needed oxygen into his lungs and laughed at Tig's flushed red face.

"That sounds like a plan. Right now I have to get some sleep or I think Tara is going to kill me." Tig snorted and moved to get up but felt Kozik's legs wrap around the backs of his thighs. "Where are you going?"

"I was gunna let you get some sleep." Kozik shook his head and hoisted Tig up closer to his face so all of his weight was pressing him down into the bed.

"No stay here I want you here."

"Are you sure, I don't want you freaking out when you wake up because I'm on top of you, it will stress you out. I can just sit in the chair." Kozik shook his head again squeezing Tig tighter. "OK I'll stay get some sleep though or Tara will kill us both." Kozik chuckled sleepily his eyes slowly slipping shut. Tig kissed Kozik's chin and shut his eyes to drift off to sleep to when he heard Kozik mumble something. "What?"

"I love you too." Tig grinned and slid his arms around Kozik's back shifting them both even closer. They both fell asleep with dopey grins on their faces holding each other tight.