Rodney exited the gate and followed the others down the steps into the main street

Later, as Rodney was walking towards the Stargate, he was talking with Teyla and Ronon. Therefore, he didn't see Sheppard turn sharply in Sam's office looking for him with fear and sympathy blatant on his face, he also missed Sam put her hand on his shoulder and gently pull him back round, speaking to him, persuading him of something.

He glanced up at the office when they reached the Stargate to see Sam and Sheppard stood talking to each other. He felt angry again, he seemed to feel anger rising in him all the time lately. He didn't know why but today he figured it was just the headache, which would not go away.

He understood why he had to go. Sam could not afford for people to start questioning her when she sent them somewhere but still, 'Kiddy Land??' When Rodney glanced back up at the office a while later it was to see Sheppard nod in acknowledgement to something Sam had said and then turning to leave.

Sheppard came out the office and came down the stairs towards them, what ever she had said to him it seemed to be giving him something to think about and in fact he seemed really troubled.

Sam came out the office to the control station and ordered the gate dialled and then she moved to the balcony to look down on them. She seemed hesitant and Rodney wondered if there was actually something dangerous at the nursery but he figured Sheppard would have told them if there was. He looked at Sheppard and found he had been looking at him and was quickly glancing away. Am I paranoid or not?

The gate initiated and they stepped through. Rodney was the last through and he glanced up at Sam before he stepped through. He was suddenly very nervous.

Rodney exited the gate and followed the others down the steps into the main street. Sheppard led the way down the main street to the town hall. For Rodney it was like an arachnophobic walking through a spider's lair. They met with the two main leaders to carry on the work they had been doing for the last week.

The two main leaders, one female and one male, were late teens. Over the generations the children had learnt chores instead of games and they ran their towns as well as any adults. Instead of the three R's they learnt how to grow food, process food and prepare food. Their language was simple but informative.

The two leaders stood in front of them and bowed their heads. The team bowed in return except Rodney who was preoccupied. Shepard glared at him. "What? Oh yes, Sorry," and he bowed his head

The two smiled an indulgent smile like Teyla's. It was disconcerting to see it on a child's face, such a wise expression on one so young. "You have come back, we are happy," the girl said.

"Do lessons go well?" Sheppard asked.

"They go well John," the girl said, "we like to learn new things, we are happy"

"We have come to teach more, is that okay?" Sheppard asked.

"We will get many together" said the boy. "Would you eat first?"

Rodney piped in, "Yes, eat now". See he could do Ronon talk

Sheppard smirked, "Please." He looked at Rodney who just shrugged.

Rodney liked to eat and also he wanted to delay as long as possible. Inside he shuddered. He told people they made him feel uncomfortable but that wasn't the half of it and worse he didn't know why. He had tried to remember. He remembered being with children and enjoying himself but now he could feel his nerves start to rise exponentially around children and most embarrassing of all was the fear that starts to build. For no reason he can remember children scare him and he finds it embarrassing to mention.

They arrived at the table with 'nature' foods and Rodney and Ronon ate. He looked up to find Sheppard watching him but the look on his face made him feel uncomfortable. The expression on his face was bland but his eyes looked sad. "What?" Rodney said around the food in his mouth.

Sheppard seemed to jump slightly. "Nothing," he said, sounding confused but not acting it as he looked down at his plate and didn't look up again, yet he only picked at his food. What have I done now? Rodney thought to himself.

Rodney avoided the fruit just in case it was citrus, because of his allergy, but a little part of him did toy with the idea of testing it. It would mean a couple of days of pain but it would also mean a couple of child free days. He was slightly worried as to how appealing this idea was and wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved when Ronon ate the last of them.

When they were done Sheppard split them up. "Teyla you teach trading locations and techniques as usual," Sheppard said and she nodded and departed. With the population due to be increased as the elders continued to live beyond their years their food would no longer sustain them and therefore they would need to trade. As kids they would be cheated by unscrupulous traders and they might go to dangerous locations and so Atlantis had decided to teach 'Trading Savy 101' as Sheppard called it.

"Ronon, you teach defence today, give them something new," Sheppard said. Ronon raised his eyebrows but nodded. Atlantis had also decided they should be taught to protect themselves.

"Rodney, you're with me, we will go teach," Sheppard said. Rodney didn't say anything but just followed Sheppard quietly. He definitely had the feeling he was missing something. Sheppard had not done or said anything obviously wrong but the thought was nagging as it had all day that he was missing something. It was like looking up and finding everyone looking at you waiting for the answer and you left trying to figure out what the question was, so he followed and waited for the missing bit to fall into place.

"You never know Rodney, they may have an apple for the teacher," Sheppard said and it was jovial enough, the right volume and the right tempo but Sheppard generally liked to see his reactions to his jibes but apparently not today and Rodney realised that since leaving Sam's office that morning Sheppard had only looked him in the face twice and those were quick and fleeting and their normal banter was missing today.

"As long as they don't have lemons," Rodney retorted sulkily, deciding to let time show him the answers. They arrived at the 'classroom'. A large hall with an auditorium style steps with a raised dais in the middle, with a table on it and with a wall behind it. It was like a stone classroom from college. Sheppard indicated to the dais and moved to sit in the front row and he sat watching Rodney. Rodney shifted his feet as he hesitated, already feeling the nerves creep up even though he had to admit that he did feel a bit better with Sheppard in the room.

Normally he hated being kept waiting but as it was the children he was waiting for he wasn't complaining at all. He was eating though, he always ate when he was nervous or anxious and today he couldn't seem to stop. He had packed extra bars after the last week. He had gained five pounds since his team had discovered this planet.

Typical, why oh why did it have to be them? But of course it did, I'm cursed aren't I? He rocked his head from side to side and mimicked Sam as he repeated her words in his head sarcastically. You made first contact. They already know you. They feel comfortable with you. They will listen to you. You should be the ones to educate them. Da da-da da-da da da. Phooey is what Rodney thought. Well at least it was the older ones he would be teaching. The younger ones made him anxious faster for some reason. He opened another bar and started eating.

Damn it, they were kids. You can bring a grown man to his knees in tears, why do they affect you so? Suddenly Sheppard wasn't helping, the idea that he had a witness to his nervous breakdown made him, well, nervous.

He knew Sheppard was watching him and he started to rearrange his equipment to centre himself but it just made him more nervous. He turned to Sheppard and found him watching him curiously.

He gulped down his mouthful. "You don't have to stay you know, I promise I'm not going to make them cry……..er……again." He had been really angry about that incident.

Sheppard lent back, looking relaxed. "And miss the chance to see Genius 101," he smirked.

If Rodney hadn't been so disappointed and distracted he might have noticed that Sheppard's eyes did not reflect the smile and his hand rested on his sidearm, (a sure sign of nervousness but as he was normally only nervous in preparation of a fight, not one that most people noticed).

"Hmmpff, If this is Genius 101 you're in the wrong class," he retorted and turned his back on Sheppard which is a shame because the smile did hit his eyes then and they sparkled humorously as he shook his head, but they dimmed again the longer he studied Rodney's back.

Rodney moved off the dais to the back wall and pressed his hand into the slot. The walls became softer and paler till they disappeared altogether, revealing the systems behind. Never get tired of that, it's so cool.

Then he heard the children approaching, talking amongst themselves.

He had already shown them the database and how to access it. Luckily the children had retained the knowledge of the written word. He showed them about the Long Range Sensor's, showing them how to keep an eye out for the wraith and how to look at the weather. It went slowly and he had to show them how to conserve energy and maintain the system yet.

He had tried to rush it at first but found he just wasted his breath. He had to teach at their speed and hope that it would all be over soon.

"Lunch time I think" Sheppard said, standing up and clapping his hands together. Rodney jumped.

"Already?" Rodney said tightly. It was normally one of his favourite times of the day but here everyone ate together. "Oh, Well, that's er, that's good," he lied. "Let's go eat," he finished as he plastered a grin on his face with effort but Sheppard only looked into his eyes.

"Don't worry McKay, you can sit between me and Teyla," Sheppard said with a smile as he steered Rodney out of the classroom. Well, that's an improvement you made me sit with the kids all last week.

They joined the rest of the team who seemed to have brought their classrooms with them. Oh Joy!

Then he noticed one of Ronon's charges had a nosebleed and Rodney felt cold flow through his body. I've got to get away, I've got to go, I can't stay. "I'm sorry, I…" I'm so, so sorry…What?

"Er, I forgot something in the classroom," and he twisted out of John's hand at his back and returned to the classroom at a fast pace. When he reached the classroom he took a seat on the cool stone chair and held his head in his hands. His heart was racing. It was just a nosebleed, why did he react like that. He dealt in facts, and there was no reason for this and what was all that I'm so, so sorry about, it's not as if he hit the boy, just thank god that bit was in his head at least.

He heard footsteps on the cold stone floor and struggled to compose himself, struggìed to still his heart and focus his eyes. Sheppard appeared. Oh great, here we go!

Sheppard didn't say anything till he sat down next to Rodney. "You Okay," he said softly, looking ahead and not at him, for which Rodney was profoundly grateful.

"Yeah Fine," Rodney said, also looking straight ahead, darting sideways glances erratically to see Sheppard's reaction. There was a pause. There was a long pause.

"You seemed a bit jumpy, to much caffeine? Sheppard asked.

Rodney sighed. Damn it, why was he so useless at lying. "Yes, Yes, Okay. The genius is scared of Tiny Tim, Satisfied?" He asked emotional and angry. Puffing him self up, ready for a war of words.

"Can you tell me why?" Sheppard asked softly.

Rodney collapsed in on himself. "No," he replied brokenly. "I've tried to figure it out and I can't. I used to be okay," and he looked at Sheppard desperately. "I did, I really did." He faced forward again.

"I was at the SGC, about to go on a mission with Sam," he paused, waiting for a comment from Sheppard that never came. Sheppard was deathly still and if he could believe his ears, had just hitched his breath so there wasn't even the sound of his breathing and in the stillness he continued.

"I came round in the infirmary. Apparently I had hit my head and developed short term memory loss. No memory prior to the accident or of the accident," he paused again. He had figured the most likely response would be 'Always thought you had brain damage Rodney' but nothing came. He looked at Sheppard who hadn't moved a muscle.

Rodney continued. "Ever since then, if I'm around a large number of children I get a panic attack, anxious, heart races and claustrophobic," he hung his head and finished heavily. "I just have to get out."

He turned to face forwards again. "Silly isn't it," and he gave a hollow laugh.

He heard Sheppard swallow heavily beside him. Probably thinks I'm a mad scientist now.

"And you've tried to remember, but you can't? Sheppard said slowly, softly

I'm scared of children Sheppard, not loud voices. "No, I cant remember," he paused, in for a penny in for a pound. "I sometimes think the accident was caused by a child somehow, you know spilled jello and I slipped or something, figured they didn't tell me in case I lost it but you don't get children running around the SGC." He sighed heavily, "Not enough swings."

"I'll go get you some food, Rodney. We will eat here and if you can get through the rest of the day I'll get Sam to send someone else tomorrow."

Damn it Sheppard, I think I love you……in a manly, brotherly way. "Really?" Rodney said hopefully, turning big wide eyes of disbelieve at Sheppard.

Sheppard gave a small laugh and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Really Rodney," he nodded and then he got up and left. Rodney couldn't believe it. He felt light-headed. It was over.

He gave a small "Hmpff" to himself. Sheppard was always rescuing him. To have such a trusted friend, to know Sheppard was on his side was a weight lifted.He didn't know what he had done to deserve this friendship, this trust, but he would spend the rest of his days trying to earn it and in the meantime he would watch over Sheppard the way Sheppard watched over him.

Suddenly Rodney jerked backwards. It was as if someone turned the light on in a dark room. All he saw was a bright flash in his mind that attacked all his senses and he physically drew back from it. It was gone as quickly as it came but it left him dazed and shocked. He dropped his head into his hands as despair flooded though him. What the hell is happening to me? He thought to himself desperately.

By the time Sheppard returned with the food Rodney had composed himself and he said nothing about it. They sat and talked non-stop about nothing while they ate and Rodney was relaxed when the children came back. He still could feel the nerves starting to rise but he could cope with it knowing that Sheppard wasn't going to make him come here again tomorrow.