PART TWO

Blinking awake, Dean groaned as a sharp pain stabbed his head. It felt like his head was splitting wide open.

"He'll wake up one day, I know it," a familiar voice said in a distance.

Dean groaned again, rubbing his eyes as he took in his surroundings. He was laying in puke green painted room, with one single window that was hidden behind a thick white curtain. Sunlight was the only light filling the room.

Dean felt shaky as he lifted his head and looked over to see a beating large machine. Looking down at his wrists and clothing, it finally hit Dean that he was in a hospital. His brain felt like mush and his body felt numb and for a terrible second, Dean thought he was paralyzed.

"Sam!" He cried out in terror as he looked over to see the door opened and voices coming from the hallways. "Sammy!"

The voices silenced before he heard a rustling. "Oh my god," he heard a gasp and in the next second Sam was bursting into the room, his chest rising and falling quickly as he looked over and met Dean's bright green eyes.

"What…is he," Cas slowly walked in behind Sam, slowly and unsure as his eyes met Dean's. Dean felt a sort of calm settle over him at seeing both Sam and Cas healthy and alive. His heart beat way faster than it should have at the sight of Cas looking at him with those wide, blue, puppy eyes. Well maybe not, as Castiel was Dean's husband, and one usually didn't have control of their heart around a loved oen. "Oh Dean," Cas whispered brokenly, looking like he wanted to step forward, but when he turned and looked at Sam, Cas lowered his head, but not before Dean saw his expression.

It was one of guilt.

"Dean, thank god!" Sam tossed Cas a frown, before rushing to Dean's side with a wide grin.

Dean was confused as he looked from Sam to Cas, who still had his head lowered. "What the hell's going on Sam?" Dean asked him after they hugged, and Dean found that no, he was not paralyzed. Just drugged up and feeling heavy.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Sam asked, his hands gripping the side of the hospital bed as he looked back at Cas, confusion crossing his face as Cas kept his distance.

Dean closed his eyes as exhaustion hit him.

Him and Cas, they were married, of course, looking down at Castiel's finger, he could still see the ring, it made Dean smile, glad that they still were married and confused as hell. The last thing he remembered was heading to a hunt, leaving a distressed Cas standing in the road. How the hell he end up in the hospital? Oh no, did the hunt go wrong? Was it memory loss making him forget what happened to him?

"Cas and I had an argument and then I drove off. Did I get hurt while I was hunting? I'm so sorry baby," Dean spoke to Cas.

Cas flushed red and looked at Sam with wide eyes.

Dean frowned, looking at Sam for answers when Cas just looked away. Why was Cas acting so distant and weird? Oh god, was Cas going to ask for a divorce?

"Baby?" Sam looked confused, looking over at Cas before shaking his head. "Uh, sorry I never knew you two…well," Sam looked uncomfortable. He kept looking over at Ca, but Cas wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. "But it's fine, I should have guessed…"

"I didn't know if it meant anything or not." Cas finally looked up and slowly walked over towards the bed. "I don't know what they did to you, but it put you into a coma."

Wait what the hell was going on? Did Cas really just say he didn't know if Dean and him meant anything? Why in the hell was Sam acting like he didn't know either? And who the hell was "they"? Dean felt like his head was sure to explode.

"Who? Who put me in a coma?"

"It was the angels," Sam explained.

"They came in after you…after we had…afterwards and started to fight us. They stole my grace and then touched your forehead, I thought they had simply put you to sleep for a little bit, but you haven't woken up in…"Cas trailed off.

Dean's heart squeezed in his chest. Oh god, Cas had probably been in pain for a long time, waiting for Dean to wake up! But wait… Cas didn't have his grace, he wasn't an angel last night! What the hell was he saying?

"Three years. It's been three years," Sam said, his eyes filled with tears and pain. "Oh god, Dean, I'm so glad you're awake, I thought…I thought you'd never wake up."

"Sam, you know I'd never leave you. And Cas, baby, I'm sorry for not waking up sooner." Dean looked down at Castiel's hand that now rested on top of the white sheet and Dean reached out and took it, squeezing his hand. Now that Dean was awake, they'd have a lot of catching up to do, with both Cas and Sam. Sam probably had another kid, maybe two.

Cas snatched his hand back from Dean's like it was on fire. A sharp pain shot threw Dean's heart as he watched Cas back away from him.

"Cas, I'm sorry, are you mad at me?" Oh god, maybe while Dean was out for all that time, Cas probably stopped loving him, or maybe he started loving someone else. "Wait, what were you talking about, about your grace? You were pretty damn human last I remember. And for a long time before that."

"Cas, you should probably tell him everything, from that day, he probably has some memory loss, and not the version you told me where there was no sex involved," Sam seemed to be scolding Cas as if he were disappointed in him, which made Dean feel like he should back Cas up, telling Sam it wasn't his business that they were having sex and that he needed to stop acting like he didn't know anyway. "I'll even leave you two alone."

"I don't understand," Dean felt so confused.

Sharp beeping filled the room, causing Dean jump in surprise. He looked over to see Cas pulling out his phone and answering it. Dean frowned, wondering who the hell could be calling Cas. Dean wondered if Cas managed to make friends in the last years Dean's been out.

A terrible thought that Cas was now with someone else hit Dean like a ton of bricks. He wondered if Cas was now re-married to a beautiful, kind woman, possibly one who went to church every Sunday, dragging Cas along. Or even worse, a man! Dean decided against that when eyeing Castiel's clothing. To Dean's relief, Cas was still wearing Dean's old faded, gray shirt with lose fitting jeans. Dean's heart soared at knowing Cas was still wearing his clothing all along. So Cas didn't get some kind of divorce from Dean while he was out, good.

"Hello?" Cas answered casually. "Yeah, I will be right there, give me about five minutes. Ok…ok, bye."

"Joan?" Sam asked. Dean felt jealously flare at whoever this "Joan" was.

"Who's Joan?" Dean asked in a way that had Sam looking at him questionly and Cas looking at him with a blank expression, it reminded him so much of way back when Cas was an angel.

"I own a bakery in town and Joan is one of my employees."

Dean nodded, right the bakery, Cas had to take over full time probably.

Dean smiled, "You gonna make me a pie tonight for dessert," Dean wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm sure I'll be good to go home. You better not have put up those damn purple curtains in the house while I was out," Dean joked, hoping Cas did whatever made him happy while Dean was off in lala land.

Sam was just staring at him like he didn't know him. Cas was looking at him like he was about to cry. Dean didn't know what he said wrong, but he really wanted to hold Cas in his arms.

"Dean…what the hell are you talking about?" Sam finally questioned.

"Oh nothing, Cas and I had this little argument once about what color curtains to put up in our living room, can you believe Cas wanted purple curtains?" Dean snorted, remembering the light purple curtains Cas had brought home. Dean pretty much had let Cas have control of the decorating, but he had put his foot down for that one. It had been during the day, hours before he left to that damn hunt.

Sam still looked confused. "Your living room? As in… you and Castiel's living room? As in living together?" Sam asked slowly as if he thought Dean was stupid.

"Yeah man, what the hell are you the one with brain damage? You know, me and Cas' house, the one two freaking roads over from you and Amelia's house? And your daughter Mary? Any of this ringing a bell?"

Sam bit his lip and looked over at Cas.

Cas looked like he was about to fall down in a puddle of tears. "Oh no," he whispered.

"Oh no what? Seriously, c'mon on guys?! What the hell is going on? I swear I'm the only one who is in his right mind right now," Dean was starting to feel desperate. "C'mon Cas, get me out of here baby, I just want to go home and lay in our bed, I'll even be the little spoon if you get me out of here now."

He looked over at Sam, expecting him to mock Dean for the little spoon comment, but instead Sam was looking down at Dean with the most pitying expression.

"Dean, stop calling me that," Cas said as he backed up from the bed even more. Cas looked over at Sam while Dean stared at him in shock. "I think the angels made Dean live in a dream world where…" Cas looked back at Dean. "What was our relationship?"

Dean snapped. "What the fuck?! We're freaking married you asshole!" Dean knew he must be dreaming, this wasn't his Cas. All he had to do was wake up and he'd be warm and safe in Castiel's arms. Dean held up his hand to show his wedding band, but it wasn't there. "Do you have it?" he demanded of Cas.

"You thought we were married. And in your dream, you thought Sam was married to some women?"

"It was real, this is the freaking dream! I don't have to explain shit, soon I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal." Dean crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Dean," Sam looked so sad as he reached out, but thought better of it and dropped his hand.

Sam bit his lip and looked over at Cas. The two seemed to be sharing a secret or private conversation or something as they gazed at each other and it was pissing Dean off.

"Stop looking at him like that," Dean couldn't help but scold Sam.

"He can look at me however he wants Dean, Sam and I are –"

"Dean," Sam cut off Cas and whispered. "I'm sorry man, if I had known how you felt. If I knew that you loved Cas so much that you'd get yourself stuck in a dream world married to him for three years…I'd never even consider, I'm so sorry Dean," Sam finished looking back over at Cas with a guilty expression.

Dean was super confused until he looked down and noticed the ring on Sam's finger. It was a twisted silver and gold ring. Just like the one Cas gave Dean. Oh god…Dean felt like as if it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"You two…you're married?" Dean squeaked, looking back and forth, not being able to believe it.

Dean felt like he was no longer in the room with the way Sam and Cas were looking at each other, like they shared a secret. He should have known by the looks they were giving each other. Dean and Cas used to give each other those looks.

"Yes, for two years now," Cas now stood next to Sam. Dean saw red as he watched Cas and Sam holding hands.

All Dean could do was turn away. "Congrats," he said bitterly, feeling betrayed. How long did they wait…How long did Cas freaking wait before him and his little brother…Dean couldn't even think about it. About them two doing everything Dean and Cas had done married.

"Cas, I'll go to the bakery, see what's the problem, I think it'll be best if you two talked," Sam rushed out in a whisper.

Dean looked over to protest, wanting them both out of his face, but stared in shock as Sam leaned down and actually dropped a kiss on Castiel's lips and Castiel responded. It was short and then Sam was out the door. Dean wanted to yell out in outrage. To see his husband, or the man he thought was his husband, kissing his brother, the feeling of betrayal just couldn't be explained. For the first time in his life thoughts of murdering his brother entered his mind before he closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down.

Dean hoped Cas hit him over the head and would send him back into his blissful dream. Because right now, he was in a nightmare.


Dean felt Cas half throw himself onto Dean, Cas trying to hug him. Dean refused to open his eyes. If he did, he might start crying, not that he'd ever admit that.

"Oh Dean," Cas shook and Dean felt tears slide down his neck, where Cas had his face pressed.

Dean felt empty as he wrapped his arms around Cas.

"Dean, I – I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd ever wake up, I was so afraid and I felt so lost and then so angry and then Sam, Oh Dean, Sam he, he helped me and I couldn't – I couldn't stop from falling-"

Dean, not wanting to hear about how Cas and Sam feel in love, clenched his jaw and pressed Cas harder into him, muffling his voice.

"Shut up Cas, just. Shut. The. Hell. Up," he grounded out, clenching his jaw and blinking rapidly to stop any unwanted tears from falling. Dean desperately wanted to hold onto Cas just a little while longer.

Cas pulled back slightly and looked at Dean with a tear streaked face. Dean couldn't bring himself to look up into his eyes, but at least now he could open his eyes without tearing up.

"Dean," Cas whispered, stroking his hand down Dean's face.

Dean closed his eyes, his heart squeezing in his chest. "Why Sammy? Why him Cas?!" Dean felt his body shudder as he realized, Sam and Cas, they were not only kissing and hugging, but fucking. They were together, and the way Sam had gently kissed Cas when he left, it meant they were in love.

Dean willed himself not to cry. He should be happy that his little brother was happy.

"Get off me Cas," Dean weakly pushed against his chest. Cas backed off with hurt in his eyes. Dean guessed now that Sam wasn't around to witness it; Cas wasn't going to pretend to be put off with Dean. It made Dean want to hit him, Dean didn't like that Cas was hiding what he was feeling for Dean from his brother, but then he understood that it would hurt Sam. Dean cleared his throat and forced all his emotions back, deep down in his heart and locked it up inside of him.

"Do you love Sam?" He had to ask, had to make sure Cas wasn't just using his little brother.

"Of course," Cas answered, there was no doubt in his voice.

It hurt, goddamn, it hurt so much.

Dean swallowed and grinned. "Good, I'm happy for you two!" Dean playfully slapped Castiel's arms. "Now why don't you go find out when I can leave?"


Cas filled Dean in on everything happening. How Sam and he were no longer hunting, how they lived in a nice suburban house and owned a beagle dog named Bones. Dean had to listen while Cas happily told him about him and Sam's apple pie life, it sounded so much like the marriage Dean and Cas had been living in his dream, except for the dog.

Cas too, had pushed back his feelings for Dean and was acting like everything was fine and normal.

So the truth had been Cas was an angel when him and Dean had a stupid argument and then Cas had slammed Dean into the wall of the motel they were staying at on a hunt while Sam was back at the bunker. Then somehow they had ended up kissing, and then having sex. After that Dean fell asleep while Cas watched him, wondering if it was just sex or if Dean loved him. He'd never find out though because angels attacked, stole Castiel's grace and put Dean in a happy place where he'd never even tried to wake up. It was a miracle Dean even did and it wasn't purposeful.

Dean wanted to ask about his clothes that Cas was wearing, but decided that he didn't like how it got his hopes up and didn't want to hear the answer, as it might be one he wanted to hear, but shouldn't.

"Here it is," Cas whispered, when they pulled up in front of a decent sized house that had the greenest grass and one of those seat swings on the porch. Dean's mouth dropped open when he realized the house was just like the one he owned with Cas. When he told this to Cas, Cas explained that Sam and him had been talking to Dean while he was in a coma and must have built his fake life based on what Sam and Cas had been describing about theirs.

So basically Dean couldn't even hold onto the memories of his Cas, because none of it had belonged to him, it was all Sam and Castiel's life. Except for the sex, he doubted they talked about their sex life to him, but the fact that it was probably similar to their sex life had Dean's blood boiling.

Sam ended up with Dean's dream. Dean wanted to be happy that his little brother and the love of his life found happiness together while he was MIA, but it was really freaking hard to be so selfless. Maybe if he hadn't had that dream while he was out, then he'd be ok, but the whole married to Cas had felt too real.

Dean knew even though Sam and Cas might be done hunting, Dean was not. He never would be. That should have been his first clue that he had been in a dream world, when he had stopped hunting and owned a bakery, that obviously would never happen.

Dean promised himself that he'd hunt the fuckers who did this to him down.

"Well it's as nice as I remember," was all Dean could say as he opened his door, dreading going inside and seeing all the pictures of him and Cas replaced with Cas and Sam.

Cas had to help him walk as Dean, not only not being used to walking, but had damaged legs from when the angels broke all his bones and just fucked him up so bad, that even after these years, Dean was just now healing up.

Cas smelled nice, he was wearing cologne, and Dean started to lean into him when he also smelt Sam's scent on Cas. Turning his face away in disgust, Dean bit his lip as he limped alongside Cas up the stairs and into the house.

Dean paused and took in his surroundings. He came face to face with pictures of Sam and Cas on the wall in front of him. Three to be exact and they looked so happy. In one picture they were kissing and Dean looked away, stopping Cas from trying to drag him into the living room that he could see looked well kept.

"You two really went all out, didn't you?" Dean breathed out, feeling like he had been punched in the gut because everything about this felt so wrong.

Cas was looking at him intently. "It wasn't our idea, but Joan; she's a good friend, set this all up. She told us about this nice house for sale that was super cheap because it was said to be haunted and after we salted and burned the last owner's bones, we moved in. And Joan came over and started complaining about our lack of family photos and so…well yeah," Cas finished lamely.

In his world, it had been Cas who insisted on all the family photos because he had wanted to most normal life possible.

"Just take me to a guest room," Dean rubbed his head as he heard a dog barking, probably from the backyard. "I need a nap."

"Of course," Cas looked concerned and worried for Dean and Dean wished he wouldn't look that way, as if he actually cared about Dean.

"I don't know what to do Dean," Cas whispered as he helped Dean into bed. "I love Sam, but ever since that night, we – you know, every time Sam and I are...together, I feel as if I am cheating. I can't hurt him, I love him too much."

"Cas…" Dean shook his head. He felt torn. On one hand he wanted to say his little brother deserved better than someone who had feeling for another, but then his feeling for Cas stopped him. There was no way he'd tell Cas that he wasn't good enough for someone.

All of this felt so, so wrong.

"I'll make it easy for you Cas," Dean hardened his voice. "What we had, it wasn't love. It was the best fuck of my life, but I never loved you, so stop being so dramatic and let me get my four hours."

Castiel's face fell and Dean hated himself.

"Don't say that!" Cas whispered harshly, his voice breaking. "Don't…" Shaking his head back and forth, Cas stepped back, his face closing off. "I'll wake you when it's time for dinner," his voice was hard and cold as he said this.

When the door shut behind him, Dean threw an arm over his eyes and let the tears flow freely, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone.