The next two weeks were painful. Dean felt sick to his stomach as he limped lightly into the kitchen to see Sam pressed up against Cas, kissing.

Cas held a coffee mug in his hand and was using his other hand to twist in Sam's hair, pulling him closer. They looked so comfortable together and Dean knew this was something they did often. Dean could tell Sam was trying to be less touchy-feely while Dean was around. Sam had tried talking to Dean about feelings and all that other crap, but Dean had told him not to worry, that he was happy for the two.

Apparently Sam took that as an ok to flaunt his relationship with Cas.

It was getting to the point where Dean knew one of these days he'd walk in on Sam and Cas fucking and Dean couldn't take it anymore.

He was starting to resent Sam, something he'd never want to do, and he felt anger boiling up in him with every touch and look that passed between Cas and Sam.

"I'm leaving," Dean announced later that day. Cas stayed put where he was, sitting next – and super close – to Sam, practically sitting on his lap. Dean watched as Cas looked over at him in shock before biting his lip and looking away.

Sam jumped up. "What? Where you going?" Sam asked as he stood near Dean who was leaning against the door frame.

Dean shrugged. "I'm still a hunter Sam, I'm going to find a case and work on it."

Sam made the famous bitch face of his. "C'mon Dean, we got a good thing going over here. You could stop and –"

"And what?!" Dean exploded. "Live with you and Cas for the rest of my life, just sitting around on my ass while people are out there dying? No way Sam! Besides the way you and Cas are always on each other is just down right disgusting," Dean practically snarled the word, knowing he sounded jealous.

Sam blinked in shock. "I thought you were ok with us? You told me that that dream life never felt right, that you were glad it wasn't real."

Cas stood up and slowly made his way towards the two brothers, shooting Dean a look. Sam reached out and grabbed Castiel's hand without having to look for it.

Dean ignored Cas. "It's not that, I don't want to see that shit," Dean all but growled, and then toned it down a bit. "I'm not giving up the family business Sam; I'll never give it up."

"Ok…" Sam looked sad, and Dean knew Sam was beating himself up. Sam dropped Cas' hand and looked down at the floor.

"It's ok babe," Cas told him and it sickened Dean. Cas turned to Dean as if he could read his thoughts. "Why don't you stay here until you actually find a place and come back whenever you're taking a break or not on a case?" Cas asked and Dean could tell it was just for Sam's benefit.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, c'mon Dean, we'll even cut the PDA out when you're around and we can work this all out. You don't have to go, I feel like I just got you back."

Guilt was eating Dean alive and in that moment he had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. Sam, he was hurting Sam. How could Dean hurt his little brother? Sam didn't know how desperately Dean wanted to fuck Sam's husband into the ground, or maybe he did know and just didn't fault Dean for it?

It wasn't Sam's fault that Dean ended up in a coma, forcing Cas to seek comfort in someone else's arm and those arms happened to belong to Sam. And it sure as hell won't anyone but his own fault that he had dreamed up a life of Cas and him together.

None of that was Sam's fault.

Damn those goddamn angels for what they've done!

"I'm sorry Sammy; I'm leaving in an hour. I hope you don't mind, but I'm taking the Impala back."

And with that he tried to get out of there as fast as possible. Hating the puppy dog eyes that both Sam and Cas were giving him.


Later Sam tried talking to him alone.

"You both love each other," Sam stated. Dean whipped his head around, eyes wide. "Don't even try to deny it. Cas tries to hide it, but I see it. I'm sorry Dean, about how this turned out. You're my brother."

"Sam…"

"I'm going to talk to Cas, me and him can go on a break while you and him try to figure out what you feel about each other." Sam looked like he was being torn apart. "I don't want to be the reason my husband and brother end up unhappy."

"Sam, god, no!" Dean shook his head, not believing his ears. Sam wanted to step back and let Dean try to steal his man? Already Sam was proving to be a better man than Dean. "Cas loves you man. You are what's best for him Sam. With me, he wasn't as happy as he is now," Dean lied. "Besides, I feel sorry for you. Being tied down to one person is just horrible. I'm the lucky one in all this."

Dean picked up his duffel bag with what little belongings he had in it.

Sam was just looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Trying to figure out if he believed the older hunter or not.

Dean leaned in and hugged Sam. "I'll be back soon to visit. The next time you see me, I'll have a blonde on one arm and a redhead on the other."

Shortly after Dean left. Not even waiting for Cas to come home from his bakery job either. And Dean didn't plan on going back any time soon.