Chap. 2: Lips and Zoot dated for a few weeks, still hiding their relationship from their friends, since they were still worried about their opinions. It was just like before; they hugged, they kissed, they loved each other, all in secret.

Lips had decided to call up his sister, Lisa, and tell her that he and Zoot got back together. She was very happy for him, but her voice became serious, and she asked, "Lips, did you two…do anything yet?"

"What do you mean, sis?" Lips asked.

"You know what I mean," Lisa said.

Lips could feel his face turning red. He had a feeling he knew. "Does it involve…the birds and the bees?" he asked nervously, hoping he was mistaken.

"Yep," Lisa replied.

Lips groaned. "For the record, Zoot is not into that stuff. He's a good guy," Lips defended.

"I know, but just in case you're wrong, you had better take those pills like mom said before," Lisa advised her brother.

"Why do I have to take the pills again! You know how upset I became from them! And also, that's not possible! We're both guys," Lips snapped a little.

"If mom thinks you need to take those pills, then you need to take them," Lisa said.

"I do not need to take them," Lips argued.

"Fine, dig your own grave. Get in a bad situation. I'll tell mom you said so," Lisa said.

"Lisa! Don't! She'll just make things worse! You have to agree with me that taking those pills is useless. None of that will happen," Lips said.

He heard his sister do a deep sigh and say, "I do agree with you, but mom had a reason for making you take those pills. I mean, she's been saving her money for a surgery of some sort ever since you were born. She needs you to take the pills until she has enough money for the surgery," Lisa explained.

"Surgery? For who?" Lips asked.

"For you."

"Me? Why?"

"I never thought I'd have to tell you this, Lips, but when you were born, the doctors found something very wrong with you. Not bad enough to kill you, but something very weird. As far as mom and I know, it's still there," Lisa explained.

"What is?" Lips asked, desperate to know what exactly was wrong with him when he was born.

"To tell you the truth, bro, you have a va-," Lisa started when the phone call got cut and Lips heard the dial tone.

"Lisa? Lisa!" Lips hollered into the phone.

At that point, Beauregard ran into the room, tied up in the phone lines. "Sorry Lips, I had no idea you were going to be one the phone. I was planning on replacing the phone lines today since they're so old," the janitor explained.

"How long will that take?" Lips asked.

"A few weeks," Beauregard stated.

"Great…" Lips groaned.

A week later, Lips was still waiting for the phone lines to be replaced. He had planned on recalling his sister at the Muppet Boarding house, but the lines were being changed there too. Lips started to wonder what his sister was trying to tell him was wrong with him, and why did it involve surgery? He knew it wouldn't kill him, but he was still worried.

One day after one week of no phone calling, the Muppets decided to go out and do stuff. Fozzie decided to check on some friends in the neighborhood, Gonzo and Camilla were on a date, Floyd and Janice were also on a date, Kermit and Miss Piggy were going shopping, Bean and Robin were going to a friend's house for a sleepover, Dr. Teeth needed to meet up with a friend of his who was new in L.A, Animal and Walter went for a walk, which would probably be a while. Everyone had plans except for Zoot and Lips. They were completely alone in the house.

Lips found it somewhat odd to be alone in the house with his lover, but he shrugged it off.

Zoot found it surprising they were alone as well, but after a few minutes, he thought this would give them a good opportunity to do something he's been thinking over. He found Lips in his bedroom. "Perfect," he thought. He shut the door and locked it.

"Zoot? What are you doing here? Why'd you lock the door?" Lips asked, suspicious on what Zoot was going to do.

Zoot had a somewhat excited and nervous expression on his face as he said, "I want to try something…while we're alone in the house."

Lips could see behind his sunglasses that Zoot had a look in his eyes that could be described as a few words: desiring, passionate, and horny.

Lips knew where this was going and smirked at the saxophonist before saying, "I suppose we could do it once, as long as nobody intrudes."

"I locked the door. Unless Miss Piggy or Animal break down the door, nobody will get in," Zoot said.

"Good."

[Dcat: You can probably guess what happens after that. Heh-heh. ;)]

A few hours later, Floyd and Janice were the first to get home.

"Hey! Zoot! Lips! Like, we're back!" Janice hollered.

No response.

"Where are they?" she wondered out loud.

"Zoot! Lips!" Floyd shouted.

"Crap!" Zoot muttered between clenched teeth when he heard his friends' voices.

"Maybe if we're quiet enough, they'll leave," Lips suggested.

"No, they'll stick around. Just hand me my shirt," Zoot whispered.

A few seconds later, Zoot slipped out of Lips' bedroom and Floyd saw him.

"Zoot, what were you doing in Lips' room?" his best friend asked.

"N-nothing. Just talking about Louis Armstrong and Charlie Parker," Zoot lied.

"Was that his best?" Lips thought as he eavesdropped. He snickered.

"Zoot! There you are," Janice said, going up to the saxophonist.

She was smiling until she got an expression that could only be described by confused.

"Um…Zoot…I'm not sure if you, like, know this but…your shirt is backwards and inside out," Janice said, trying to hold back giggles.

"Fer real?" Floyd asked, looking at Zoot's shirt, then he burst out laughing.

Zoot looked down at his shirt to see a tag that said "Wash and wear", plus some other info about how to wash the shirt. Floyd and Janice laughed at the little mistake, and Zoot could swear he could hear Lips laughing at the other side of the door.

"It's just a simple mistake, guys! Not like you've never had this happen to you!" Zoot snapped before running into his own room.

"Man, that's a first," Floyd said.

"For sure, but…" Janice said as the duo walked to their bedroom.

"But what?" Floyd asked.

"I just remember that before we left, Zoot was wearing his shirt the right way. Why was it inside out and backwards now?" Janice explained.

Floyd shut his eyes to remember what happened before he and Janice left for their date; Zoot was wearing his shirt right! The only reasons it would be wrong was if Zoot took a shower or if he had to change his clothes for some reason. He was pretty sure it was the same shirt Zoot was wearing earlier and Zoot's hair didn't look wet. There was this other reason Zoot's shirt would've been messed up was if he had taken it off for a little while for something involving intercourse. Zoot was alone in Lips room and he did seem to rush out of there a few minutes after Floyd and Janice got home. This made Floyd curious and he started to think Zoot and Lips were hiding something from their friends.

Could it be possible that they were-no, it's can't be. They both seem straight, Floyd thought to himself.

Then he said to Janice, "That's not important. Let's just get some sleep."

"Okay," Janice said.


What do you think Lisa was trying to tell Lips? Guesses are welcome, though you may know you're right judging by the title.

I own Lisa

Jim Henson owns the Muppets

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