Chap. 4: Lips felt ready to faint. He sat on the toilet to prevent that. He looked at the results of his pregnancy test. Two pink lines. Positive.

Lips whipped out another test and used it. 5 minutes went by. Positive again. Lips took another. 5 minutes. Positive.

Lips sat on the floor, hugging his knees. He was almost ready to cry. He was pregnant, with Zoot's kid, after all. He wanted to scream about it, but he knew it might stress out the baby. He could feel his stomach aching, signifying that the baby was growing a little. He curled up in a ball as he waited for the pain to subside.

What was Lips going to do? How can he explain this to Zoot? To his friends? To his sister? TO HIS MOTHER!

Lips began to sob softly at the thoughts of what might happen when he told everyone:

Zoot: Sorry, but I don't date freaks like you. And I'm not looking to have any kids with you.

Dr. Teeth: I hate to say this but I can't allow you in my band anymore.

Janice: I'm, like, rilly sorry, we can't be friends anymore.

Floyd Pepper: I always thought you were a hip dude, looks like I was wrong.

Animal: GO AWAY! GO AWAY! YOU WEIRD!

Nigel: If I had known this, I would have never hired you for the orchestra.

Kermit: I'm sorry, but I don't think we have a place for you here anymore.

Pepe: You're a freak!

Rizzo: Sorry, I will not share my food with you, prego.

Digit: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid our friendship will have to end here.

Scooter: My uncle says a man being pregnant is wrong, so you are no longer allowed in the theater and I can't go-fer stuff for you anymore.

Pops: I would love to let you into the theater, but Kermit and Mr. Grosse advised me against it.

Clifford: Step away from me man.

Miss Piggy: I knew I was surrounded by strange people, but you just topped it. Go away, I might catch your freak disease.

Waldorf: Get out of the theater!

Statler: And don't come back!

Sam the Eagle: It is un-American for a man to bear a child. Get out of my sight. You shame this country.

Delores: I'm sorry you got fired for life, Lips, but look at the bright side; I can now play trumpet! Actually, that's good news for me, not you. There's not bright side for you! Tee-hee!

Lisa: I told you so. Now you're in for it.

Lips' mother: I told you to take the pill! But did you listen? NOOOO! No son of mine will be pregnant. Consider yourself disbanded from the family.

Lips cried the more he thought of the dialogue he'd receive from his friends. Maybe he could hide his pregnancy for the entire time and he'd bring the baby to the theater, saying he found it and is willing to take care of it. His friends wouldn't mind then. Then again, Kermit will probably not let the baby stay at the theater and will have Bobby Benson put the child into his baby band, and Lips didn't want that for his child.

Lips walked out of the bathroom, looking depressed, and went to the doctor to have it confirmed, but he had to go in disguise so some scam reporters don't put it in the next issue of their newspapers and magazines.

The doctor was shocked to hear Lips' explanation for the pregnancy and told him what to do and not do while pregnant, since it was his first child: he can't drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs, then again, Lips never did that in the first place, but he had to avoid people who did smoke, which would be a challenge with J. P. Grosse. He also said to avoid raw or undercooked meat, raw fish, liver, raw eggs, pâté, avoid caffeine, and blue cheese.

The only foods safe for pregnancy were cooked shellfish, bio yoghurt, cream, and raw egg-free ice cream, honey, and cheese like ricotta, parmesan, mozzarella, cheddar and double Gloucester. He also had to make sure to eat plenty of starchy foods like pasta, rice, whole grains, fruit and vegetables. He also needed plenty of calcium, like milk, cheese, and yoghurt; protein like lean meat, chicken and fish, eggs and pulses; and iron like fortified cereals, red meat, pulses, and bread. Lips also couldn't have x-rays of any sorts, or be in the sun too long, which could risk heatstroke and sunburn, which could harm the baby.

Lips understood everything completely, but he was still worried how to tell his friends.

When he got home, he called up his sister Lisa, though he was reluctant to do so.

"Lips? What is it?" she asked.

Lips whimpered out a response, "P-positive…"

"Positive? What was? Is everything okay?" Lisa asked, sounding confused.

"The test was positive. I'm-I'm pregnant, sis. A doctor confirmed it," Lips explained.

"Oh my god…" Lisa gasped.

"Whatever you do, don't tell mom. Please sis, I'm begging you!" Lips cried.

"I promise I won't!" Lisa exclaimed.

"What should I do? My friends don't know about it. Zoot doesn't know and it's his kid. I'm scared they'll reject me! Help me!" Lips sobbed.

"Bro! Calm down! I already have it planned out," Lisa said.

"What are you going to do?" Lips asked.

"Wait and see," Lisa responded.


Now we're back at the beginning at the story, with the scene of Lips in the bathroom alone.

What is Lisa's plan?

I own Lisa

Jim Henson owns Muppets

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