With my stomach bloated from eating almost half the block of Spam, I cook the rest of it, wrapping it in an old piece of aluminum foil that had at one point held something in the fridge, but it served my needs better. And with my lunch put away safely, I begin rummaging through everything I hadn't went through initially, starting my recon mission for a map, even though my very full stomach is screaming for a nap right now.
After nearly two hours of looking and crawling through every inch of the little cabin, I finally come across a beat up, well used map, causing a small bolt of accomplishement to surge through me. Yet, when I see that the nearest town is almost twenty-five miles away, my heart hits the floor. On foot, that's an entire day of walking through the woods. Alone.
And just like that, my lungs stop functioning and the room starts spinning and my heart begins to race. Alone. That one word hits me like a freight train. Alone. Because, I guess, my brain has just now realized how truely, frighteningly, and thoroughly alone I am now. No one to have to my back, no one to talk to, no one to help me. Nope, not a soul. Without even noticing, I've crawled myself into a corner. Rocking back and forth, my head settled between my legs, because I really don't want to know what Spam tastes like when it's comes back the other way.
-Nora, stop. Breathe. You've been alone before, this is no different. You'll adapt like you always do. Overcome like you have to. You can't chase the rabbit again, no more falling down the hole. You won't make it back this time. My mind repeats itself soothingly, until I am finally able to look back up and realize that the room isn't spinning anymore. And that my lungs work just fine. And to feel that my heart is beating at a more normal rythm now.
Brushing the dust off, I climb back to my feet on shaky legs, thankful that at least they work now, and make my way to the recliner. In no time, the sheer exhaustion of my panic attack takes it's toll and I'm settled into a deep, bottomless sleep.
"Mama, watch this!", my little girl says to me, and I watch her gracefully turn flips on the big trampoline. I clap and smile, taking in her blonde curls and the deep dimples that appear when she smiles, just like mine. With the sun blazing high in the sky, I look around and notice the green grass and tall fence the leads to the big white house. My house.
I turn back to watch her for a moment longer, before walking through the big french doors that open up into the dining room. "Jack?" I call out, waiting for my fiance to appear. When he doesn't, I venture further through my home, stopping at the master bedroom door. Pressing my ear against the cool wood, I hear nothing within, and cautiously turn the knob, "Jack?" I say again, stepping into the bright room.
"In here, babe." A huge smile crosses my lips as his familiar voice lingers over me. Oh how I've missed the deep, raspy tones. I run to the closet, and there he is, my highschool sweetheart. His blue eyes dancing in the light, dark hair a mess on top of his head and my heart swoons as he flashes me a bright smile before pulling me into a hug.
"I miss you, Nora." Jack says sweetly, kissing the top of my head. I crane my neck, planting my lips firmly on his.
"Jack, you have no idea. I dream about you and Claire all the time. I-I wish you were with me still." I reply, buring my head into his muscular chest,feeling hot tears forming in my eyes.
He pulls me back, meeting my eyes with determination, "You can be with us, Nora. We need you here. It's too easy, my love." He says, matter of factly and I can't stop the longing that has gripped me, longing to stay here and be with my first love and our daughter forever. Not having to miss them anymore.
"J-Jack, no. I, I- can't do that. You know I can't." I shake my head slowly, my voice choking on sobs. His blue eyes grow sad, and his smile loses its luster before he turns away.
"Then go." Jack says, an unsettling tone in his voice.
"What?" I ask, staring at his back incredulously.
Before I can even take a step back, he's in my face, and he's not my Jack anymore. This man now is angry, and his face is hollow and void of emotion and life, "GO! GET OUT!" He yells, causing the whole room to tremble and quake beneath my feet, until the floor completely gives way and I'm falling. Falling into an incky darkness that all but sucks the air from my lungs and the beats from my heart.
My eyes blink open, and I feel the moisture on my face from the tears I had thought were only apart of my dream. Staring up at the ceiling, I feel my heart pounding under my skin as I can still hear Jack's voice ringing through my head. And see the sun reflecting off Claire's bouncing curls. This is exactly what I didn't need to happen, I don't need the temptation. I need to stay here, and survive, because I know that's what my Jack would want. He would want me to fight, and carry on his legacy along with our daughter, because she never got the chance to. He would never want to lay down and give up. No, he knows I'm stronger than that. Yet, it still doesn't stop my chest from aching everytime I think of them, which is around the clock. If I didn't have their memory, I would have nothing to live for. Nothing to keep me going-
I jump out of the chair, my painful thoughts cut short by the all too familiar snapping of twigs and crunching of leaves. Crawling to the window, I crouch, just barely peering over the window sill.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit." I breathe quietly at the sight of maybe fifteen biters stumbling right for the little shack, give or take a few. I scurry to shove my feet into the black boots, and grab my rifle from the table. Giving up on trying to stay hidden, I rush to close the doors and windows, before grabbing a bag from the bunk bed as I begin to shove the remainder of the canned food, map, and whatever else I could grab before sprinting to the back door.
As the door squeals tiredly, I slip through, jumping off the porch before tearing through the woods. I don't spare a glance back to the old house, but I silently thank the Lord for letting me stumble upon it. I continue to jog for another twenty minutes before stopping to catch my breath, and the forest around me seems almost too quiet as I take a sip from my canteen, relishing the sweet water. Looking around, my body begins to flood with adrenaline, sensing that something just isn't right about this place and I'm glad it decided to give me a heads up, because only a couple seconds pass before a loud gurgling growl comes from behind me followed by the unmistakable feeling of unaturally cold, digusting hands grabbing at my arm, pulling me towards it's teeth. Towards my death, essentially. And I laugh at the irony, before pulling my dagger out, impaling the son of bitch straight through it's cloudy, rotten eye.
Yet, before I can celebrate my escape properly, I hear the distinct gutteral moans once again surrounding me. Digging my boots into the earth, I push off, stretching my legs further than they want to go, and pushing my lungs hard as I find myself once again dodging and ducking and sliding through the trees, trying to get out of the confusing maze because I have no idea if I'm just running around in circles right now or making actual progress.
"Ugh! Ow!" I shriek as slam into something solid, the air forced from my chest by the impact.
"What the hell?" A deep voice exclaims, pulling me up by the collar of my shirt like a scolded child.
I still can't breath, but I have to warn the man, try to at least,
"B-B-Bi.." I start, and the damn word is just stuck there on my tongue like a broken record, "Biters!"
Finally, the warning burst through my lips and the bearded man pulls me behind him before giving a shrill whistle and pulling a pistol from the back of his jeans. I climb to my feet, dagger in hand, but the man turns around,his light blue eyes boring into mine, "Don't move." He says, and I can't deny the authority in his voice, so I situate myself behind a tree, nearly screaming as I see another man before me. A crossbow meerly inches from my face.
