With a day already having passed since things got a little too personal with Daryl, I've kept my distance, choosing to work around the house in place of going out for any more lessons.
"Nora!" Carol walks over to me, and I feel some tension bristle up. I know she has a thing for Daryl, and she's been around a lot longer than I have. Who knows, they might have done the same thing.
Yet, I plant a fake smile on my face, "Hey Carol!" I say, as we walk together to retreive some laundry from the lines before the ominous clouds above decide to give way.
"Can I ask you about somethin'?" She asks wearily, giving me a side glance. I feel as though I already know where this conversation is headed, but I vainly try to push the thoughts away before answering,
Kicking a rock, "Sure, what's up?" I reply without looking at, basically just concentrating on anything except for her, or Daryl, or the hunting blind.
- Oh damn it all to hell.
Carol's wringing her hands now, "Your daughter.."
-Where did that come from? I ask myself, feeling my whole body tense up.
"you never really talk about her, or your husband-"
"Fiance, he was my fiance." I say, cutting her off, "I don't mean to be rude, but where is this going?" I still haven't looked at her, but my hands have curled up at my sides. Talking about Claire and Jack is just something I don't do. With anyone. Hell, I have a hard enough time thinking about them on my own.
Her expression has gone from casual to a mixture of offended and frightened, "I'm not trying to pry. I just know how you're feeling, I lost my little girl too, it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through, and I wanted to let you know if you ever need someone to talk to, well.. I'm here." She finishes, letting her hands fall back to her sides.
-Hmmm..
"Uhh-" My brain attempts to throw together a coherent apology, yet, after everything else, I think it's very near the verge of giving up for the evening already, "Thanks Carol. I might take you up on that one of these days, and of course, you can come to me, too. It's a terrible thing, but it gives something in common, and that makes us stronger." I finish, pinching the bridge of nose, successfully feeling like a complete idiot.
But, Carol is none the wiser as she gives me a knowing, motherly smile, obviously feeling very well about the short conversation. I, on the other hand, well, I just want to go to bed. It's hardly even past five, and the mental exhaustion alone is enough to send my body into zombie mode, making laundry a more robotic chore as I nod and give a few 'yeahs' where I decide they should go as Carol rambles on about God knows what. And as soon as we make it to the back yard, it's as if the flood gates open up and before a minute passes, we're both soaked through to the bone, running to get inside.
"Dad, can we go out, please?" I hear Carl beg his father, looking back at me with an excited gleam in his eye. An excitement I hadn't see out of the boy since I joined the group, and I start to feel some of his excitement surge through me. That is, until a certain leather vest clad man walks through the door. I try too hard not to even look at him, but I notice him staring at me, his eyes traveling up and down before turning on his heel, as if he were never there.
"I don't know, Carl. You could get sick, who knows what might happen." Rick says, attempting to talk his son out the childish wish.
I move towards them, rain dripping onto the wood below my feet, "It's not cold at all, we'll only stay out there for a few minutes. I'll watch him." I state, looking directly into Rick's eyes, smiling when defeat plays in his features. Carl gives him a quick hug, before tearing through the door, out into the monsoon that has fell upon us. With a glance over my shoulder and a reassuring smile, I follow the boy out, feeling the rain pour over my again.
A few minutes later, we see Michonne and Bob come outside to join, and after them, Glenn and Maggie are dancing with us as the rain shows no sign of letting up. Running around, I look at all their faces, smiling and genuinely happy, for the first time in only the Lord knows how long. I can't help but to relish every second of it, because how much time do we have left to make these kinds of memories? Everyone of them mean so much, and I can tell in each of their faces. Even Rick and Daryl are on the porch, watching our antics with a smile tugging at their lips, giving me even more of reason to want to dance.
"Carl!" I call out, watching as he slides through the grass to make it to me, leaning in close, "Let's go get them out here, got it?" I say, looking at the two men leaning agaist the porch railings and with a devious grin, Carl nods quickly, running to Michonne, informing her of our plan.
The three of us make our way to the porch, laughing and smiling widely, as we meet their eyes. I find Daryl's and I see amusement and caring in the deep blue color, along with something else I can't quite place as I grab his hand, Carl pushing him from behind until he's getting just as soaked as we are. A moment of anger plays at his features before seeing me laughing, and even he cracks a smile as Michonne finally pulls Rick from the porch. Now, it feels perfect. The sillyness and laughter replace the fear and stress, even if it is for just a moment, and we all feel normal. Like the world isn't filled with walkers, like we haven't lost so many loved ones, and like we can all just let go for a moment, forget the hell we live in.
So, we dance and chase and sing and laugh until the rain is replaced with a rainbow and for a little while, we truely enjoy the moment.
