once upon a time, in a land far awa- NO! too boring. Ahem. ...I once heard this story, and now you shall hear i- NO! it makes me sound sappy. AHEM.
There once was a small person named...um...ah...Mrbirdwithastaffthing, but we shall call him Hersooi- no, Hursaiimso- man what is his name? oh, yeah HERUSEUS.
Now, he was walking one day, and in that time, he was just a small, tiny, agonizingly dim-witted bird. Well, he was walking, and he came to a small house in the middle of a clearing called GETOUTOFHERE!, and he was very tired now, so he knocked at the door and a small boy came out holding what looked like a fried walrus dipped in mustard.
Now, you might be wondering what that seal-thing was, but, in that time, that was what every small child ate, morning, noon, and in the bathroom. the small boy looked at the agonizingly dim-witted bird and took him inside, gave him to his dad, and walked away.
The man was...strange, to say the least. the agonizingly dim-witted bird instantly liked him. the man instantly detested him, and started puttering around his room mumbling to himself.
Now it was about two seconds later that the agonizingly dim-witted bird looked around the room and saw an array of beakers, potions, books and fried walruses. the last was probably for the boy. The agonizingly dim-witted bird then realized that he was in the house of a magician, or more accurately, a mage.
The agonizingly dim-witted bird stayed with the man three days, then the Mage asked him to be his apprentice. The bird liked him, so he consented.
The Mage was constantly experimenting on the agonizingly dim-witted bird, and one day he accidentally read a word wrong in olde ingleshe and accidentally made the agonizingly dim-witted bird grow legs. the spell was irreversible, so the Mage made a spell to give him arms, just to be fair. the spell went like this:
firste, preapeare a tabelle ladyn whithe threea fiste-syzed skwashe, two smalle watermellyns, a fryed wallruse dipped in mustarde seede ande vinnegare,
and an aggonyzinglye dimme-whitted byrd.
Then recyte theas wordes:
cocklye, mockly sumptuous marmes, make thisse byrde have somme arms!
The agonizingly dim-witted bird suddenly had arms, but his head was small, so the magician gave him a head-enlarging potion (this kind of potion was the Mage's favorite). The mage accidentally put ketchup instead of mustard (the boy had put too much and he was out) and the Mage had thought it wouldn't do too much damage (the magician was exceptionally bad) but it did, so the bones had not formed properly in his arms because ketchup was too thick, so the magician gave him a walking stick. and THAT, my friends, is how Horuseus became what he is.
the way Nile trapped him in his Bey is another story. but for now, just look at these wonderful mustaches:
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these Mal made up-see? I AM giving you credit. HAH.
