Chapter 6- The Blanket

"T-the first?" Mary Eunice asked.

"You were born to an unwed teenaged Mother Mary Eunice."

"H-how do you know that? Have you seen my adoption records?" She asked.

It broke Jude's heart when she realized that Mary Eunice was crying a little.

But she nodded, quickly deciding that no matter how upset she became this wasn't how she wanted to tell her.

"I have." Jude said simply.

"D-do you have them?"

"Yes, in a way. They're part of your files. The Church has them." That was a lie. Jude had them. And they were upstairs.

"May I see them?"

Mary Eunice surprised herself, and quickly became bold enough to ask this question. She wished she wouldn't have as soon as she did it and her request was met with Jude's disapproving gaze.

"One day." She said. "But not right now."

Mary Eunice nodded, wiping her tears, trying desperately not to show how upset she was.

"It's okay, to cry." Jude said.

"I'm really sorry Sister, I…" Mary Eunice started to sob now.

"It's alright. You just want to know who you are." Jude told her. Mary Eunice quickly nodded. "Come on," Jude extended her hand. "We can…we can skip this part of the conference and take a little walk."

"Okay." She sniffled.

"Are you sure it's her!" Jane asked anxiously.

"Yes." Jude said. "I'm sure…I see him in her." She smiled slowly. "She has his laugh…its one of those things that kind of blows you away…"

"I want to see her! I've always wanted to see her! I wish I'd been around when you were pregnant…I wish we'd known!"

"Oh Janie I know, I know…in-in time you can see her, I promise. You've been waiting a long time too."

The next day, the convention split into groups for a workshop. Jude was thankful that she and Mary Eunice had been sent their separate ways because she had a lunch to go to outside of the hotel with a dear old friend who lived in New York. Had she been with Mary Eunice when they broke for lunch, she would've found it impossible to break with her, and this was a lunch she couldn't bring Mary Eunice to, at least for now.

Janie was a couple of years younger than Jude, and they'd been friends for as long as she could remember. She'd been extremely supportive of her finding Mary Eunice all these years. That had tied them together more than anything…even more than the fact that she also was the young nun's biological Aunt, her Father's sister.

"Why, why can't I see her now Judy?"

"She doesn't know yet. I'm trying to tell her…I think maybe she suspects. But I just don't know how…she's a shy, sweet thing…a lot like he was." Jude smiled, thinking of the young man she once loved. Jane reached out and grabbed Jude's hand before she could start to cry. She squeezed it for reassurance. "When I think…of what he….and I'm going to have to tell her about him too…"

"It's alright; she has you and it sounds like you too are already quite close."

"I think so; but I don't want to scare her. She asked me for her adoption records yesterday morning…its kind of funny how she's looking so hard for her Mother and her Mother's sitting right beside her…I was thinking I'd have her just read it and find out but I…"

"Judy you can't do that! You have to tell her! You were so passionate about finding her for years now; you can't be shy in telling and besides…you're only in New York for a few more days…and I've been waiting a long time too. I want to see my brother's daughter before you leave!"

"Alright Janie, I promise, I'll do what I can."

In a way, it seemed ridiculous for her to expedite telling Mary Eunice, just to make Janie happy but perhaps she was right in her own way. Maybe sooner was better…

…..

"W-what's that?" Jude laughed.

It was later that night and she and Mary Eunice were back in their hotel room. Jude was sitting on her bed, putting lotion all over her hands. She watched the young nun quietly; thinking about how she might possibly tell her she was her Mom…she still didn't know. She was a little surprised when Mary Eunice pulled a huge quilt out of her suitcase. Jude thought it was a little strange, who brought their own bedding to a hotel?

"Oh, this…it's my quilt…I made it when I was little….well, the parts of the quilt came to me and I sewed them together…out of things I loved. This one was a dress I grew out of…it was supposed to be a hand-me-down for a younger cousin but I sewed it into the quilt before they could stop me." Jude laughed, coming to sit on the bed beside Mary Eunice so she could look at the quilt, part of it had caught her eye.

"I didn't get to keep a lot for myself." Mary Eunice explained. "This other one was a doll dress. This piece, a hand towel from the kitchen. This piece, my first apron. And this one…this one is my baby blanket…" She said quietly. "They say my birth Mother made it for me." Jude ran her hand over the centerpiece of the quilt; the baby blanket, as Mary Eunice told her this.

"It's how it started actually…I had this thing with me all the time, till I was six or seven…and my Mom…my adopted Mom was going to throw it out because it had gotten ratty and I was too old for it, she said…but it was my one thing…my gift from my real Mom, the thing that let me know she didn't forget about me, so I started sewing things around it and it became this great big quilt…"

April 5th, 1934 Boston

It was a warmer than usual Spring day, Judy had taken her knitting and gone outside, deciding that sitting on the front porch would be just the change of scenery she needed. Being nine months pregnant, Judy wasn't getting out much lately. Of course she wasn't attending school anymore, and she wasn't going much of anywhere else. In fact, she was just sitting around the house, feeling the baby and waiting for her to be born.

Judy didn't like knitting very much, but what else was there to do especially when there was someone to knit for? Jude began with a big ball of baby pink yarn, suddenly getting a little square. The further she went the bigger it got and soon it draped down over her stomach, providing her with a little warmth from the cold Spring breeze.

"Ouch!" Judy winced when she felt the baby kick.

"I'm making you a blanket you know." She told the baby. "I hope it keeps you warm all the days of your life…and I pray you know enough to think of me when it's wrapped around you…that you know that this blanket's embrace is the hug I can't give you."

"Oh Judy are you talking to it again?" Judy's mother asked as she came out onto the porch, Jude didn't need to look up to sense her disappointment.

"It's not an it Mother it's my child!"

"Judy, talking to her isn't going to make this any easier…for either of us."

"I'll get a job…please." She begged.

"Judy it…"

"Please Mother, you don't even have to feed me…I don't know how I'll do it, but I will!" Judy said, beginning to cry as she wrapped the almost completed blanket around herself. It was only large enough to cover her protruding stomach and part of her chest, but Judy still found it comforting.

"Oh Judy, Judy." Her Mother soothed sitting down next to her. " Honey, I wish it were only that simple."

"Please! Please let me keep her!" Judy exclaimed, crying on her Mother's shoulder now.

"Shu, shu, shu Judy…I know how hurt you are. But this baby's going to have a lot of things we can't give it."

"No one can love her like I can!" Judy's Mother frowned.

"Maybe that's true." She conceded. "I know you don't think so, but I love her too Judy, she's my Grandchild, remember…" Jude's mother reached down and touched the blanket softly; she smiled, understanding immediately what her daughter was doing. She grabbed an edge of it, snuggling up to her own daughter as she held it and managed to wrap part of it around her own midsection too.

"Mama I'm not ready for this." She cried, Judy could feel the baby begin to kick again under the palm of her hand. She felt as if the baby wanted to give her own opinion on where she wanted to go, but of course was far too tiny to do so.

"Judy it's the right thing…it may not be what we want…but I promise, we're doing the best thing we can for her."

"The best thing we could give her would have been our love Mother."

"Love isn't enough Judy…I love you, but I wish I could've given you a life too. Choices…opportunities, the ability to keep this baby." Mrs. Martin kissed her daughter on the head and went back inside the house.