Chapter 5 – Secrets revealed

With a sigh of relief, Jennifer drew the heavy curtain across the doorway of her hut. Finally some peace and quiet. She had enjoyed the feast a lot, but after having danced with just about every man in the village, she was exhausted. She pulled off the scarf, folded it neatly and put it on the table. Then she reached around her waist for the laces that fastened her dress in the back. Vyga had tied them in a bow, so she pulled on one of the loose ends. But somehow the loops must have got snagged. Instead of unraveling, the bow turned into a tight, stubborn knot, and without seeing what she was doing she couldn't get it open. Swearing under her breath, Jennifer tugged at the stubborn string, until she heard a familiar, slightly amused voice, "Need any help?"

Ronon! He had come!

Slowly, Jennifer turned to look at him. The slight smile on his lips faded when she fully faced him. Ronon shifted uneasily, scratched his head and finally said, "I guess I owe you an explanation."

Jennifer shook her head. "You don't owe me anything, but I would very much like to find out what the hell is going on here?"

Ronon sighed. "It's a long story."

Jennifer pointed at the two chairs that were flanking the table.

"Then I guess we'd better sit down."

She sat in one of the chairs, leaning back with her arms crossed to hide her nervousness. Ronon sat down next to her, his arms on the table, his eyes focusing on his folded hands.

"Before I was made a Runner, when I was still living on Sateda, I had... I had a wife. Her name was Melena."

There was a long pause. Jennifer finally broke it by asking softly, "What happened to her?"

"She was killed during the final Wraith attack on my planet. I saw her die."

At a loss for words, Jennifer reached out her hand and laid it on Ronon's forearm.

"She was a nurse at a hospital. My people were trading with the tribe on this planet. One year, there was a really bad outbreak of the scourge. Melena volunteered to go. She knew there was no cure, but she could relieve their suffering. We had only been married a few months, so I asked permission to go with her."

From the look in his eyes, Jennifer could see that he was a million miles away. But he kept talking.

"It was terrible and wonderful at the same time. We worked long hours side by side, slept side by side... And in the end we did make a difference. Melena found out that after the fever breaks, if you keep the survivors cool they cripple less. She had wooden tubs made, filled with cold water, and we and the villagers carried those kids back and forth between their beds and these baths day and night."

Drawing a deep breath, Ronon continued.

"Quoram and his wife had a pair of twins. They both fell sick, and we couldn't save the little girl. But her brother made it. Thanks to Melena he can still use his hands. He's now a scholar and scribe."

Jennifer remembered him, Vyga's younger brother. She had danced a few slow, shuffling steps with him, and she had noticed his long, delicate fingers that were so different from his twisted body.

"Quoram was not the elder at then, but he already held power. When the worst was over, he had the council arrange a feast in our honor. The rest you can imagine, you've seen it yourself."

When he stopped, Jennifer said quietly, "The bath house."

Ronon nodded.

"This afternoon - don't know what came over me. It was like turning back time."

He finally looked up at her.

"You look a lot like her. Same height, same build, same hair. Making love to you felt like coming home. I'm sorry..."

"No, no," Jennifer protested. "Don't be sorry. Why should you? What you did to me in the bath house today was... special. I would not have missed it for the world. And I don't care if you were thinking about somebody else, as long as you made ME feel the way I did."

Ronon still looked skeptical. Suddenly it dawned on Jennifer.

"Is that why you acted so strangely at the feast tonight? Did you think I would be angry with you if I found out?"

"Well... yes," Ronon replied. " I did feel bad that I had used you like this. And then, when I saw the dress, the braided hair..."

He closed his eyes for a moment. When he continued, his voice was rough with emotion.

"Melena looked the same at our feast."

Abruptly, Ronon stood up and turned his back on her, his shoulders hunched up as if he was holding up a heavy load. Jennifer gave him a moment to collect himself, before she said, "And the memory was too painful."

Ronon's hunched shoulders sagged, and he shook his head.

"Actually, seeing you like that only made me want you more. But I can't betray you again"

Jennifer walked around him, so that he had to face her.

"What you did is not a betrayal. It's just a fantasy. Look, I've been there before. I have envisioned another man while making love to someone. And I didn't even have the excuse that this other person was gone forever."

She moved closer until their bodies touched.

"Let me be your Melena tonight. Let me make love to you, and not think about tomorrow."

She could still feel the tenseness of uncertainty in his body. So she pulled away, turned her back on him, and said over her shoulder, "At least you'll have experience in getting these laces undone."

With bated breath she awaited his reply. Her flippancy could very well ruin everything. But to her relief, she heard a brief snort of laughter, and then long, nimble fingers began to unravel the knot. With a sigh of relief Jennifer closed her eyes and concentrated completely on the fleeting touch of his fingers across her lower back. At last the fastenings were undone, and she felt Ronon's fingertips brush upwards along her spine, until they gently slipped the dress from her shoulders.

At that moment, Jennifer heard footsteps passing by the hut, and low voices talking. She quickly whirled around, catching the bodice of the dress across her breasts before the garment could fall to the floor. Ronon looked at her in surprise.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I... I didn't realize. This hut... it's like being in a public place. Anybody passing by can hear... and maybe even see us..."

Ronon lifted an eyebrow.

"And that bothers you?" he said teasingly.

"I... well... yes, it does," Jennifer admitted.

Ronon moved closer, wrapped his strong arms around her, and gathered her to his chest.

"Melena was the same way," he whispered.

"So, what did you do?" Jennifer asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

"I found us another place."

"Where?" Jennifer asked.

"You'll see," was the mysterious reply. "Let me lace you up again, and I'll show you.