Chelsea Grin (13)
A Couple of Rams

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
~Francis Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Loki's shock quickly shifted into apprehension. Natasha looked petrified, caught between surprise and lingering pleasure from their kiss.

Clint finally recovered to glare at Loki. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snapped.

Loki drew away from Natasha and rose to his full height. He put up his hands complacently. "I promise you...I have done nothing to harm-"

"Stay away from her! Who do you think you are?"

"A monster, no doubt. Am I correct?"

Clint charged. Loki made no move to step aside. He braced himself for the impact and the two men collided forcefully. They hurtled in the air and rolled all over the gym floor like fighting wolves. Pride made Loki act. He would never let himself be beaten to a pulp by a mortal. Even if that mortal was Natasha's best friend.

Loki rammed forward to give Clint a headbutt. Clint twisted his neck to avoid the blow. The archer assassin proved to be a better fighter than Loki expected. Clint held on gamely and brought up a knee into Loki's groin. Loki let out a sharp cry of anger and pain. He retaliated with a sucker punch to Clint's face. Clint's head snapped upwards. He immediately recovered. He grabbed Loki's wrist, slapped the other hand to his elbow and threw off his arm at an awkward, painful angle. Clint slammed Loki to the floor and pressed down with no relent. Loki emitted something between a growl and a hiss. Then Clint socked him right on the nose. Blood streamed, and rage bolstered Loki's strength. He pushed off the floor and threw Clint off balance. The archer landed hard, dazed for a second. It was all Loki needed.

Loki seized Clint's shirt and flung him across the gym. Clint crashed into the rack of weights, scattering them all around him. Undeterred, he grabbed the nearest weight. He staggered to his feet and held it aloft like a club. Loki saw pure hatred and killing intent in those eyes.

'Barton intends to finish this,' he thought grimly. 'Let's see him try.'

Loki slipped into a fighting stance as Clint broke into a mad dash.

Natasha knew that look. Clint became Hawkeye, with the eyes of a cold killer. An assassin who would show no mercy. She feared for both men. Who knew what could happen if they continued their fight? She had to end it. And typing on a digital notebook wasn't going to do the job.

"No!"

Loki and Clint froze, mere inches apart from each other.

"No," she repeated, this time weak and soft.

Her voice, until now, had been unused for weeks. When she had shouted, she felt as if something jabbed at her throat. Natasha put a hand to her chest and began to cough. Loki relaxed and went over to her. He rubbed her back, attempting to soothe her coughing fit.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I will not fight him anymore. You have nothing to worry about now."

Clint remained where he was. The energy to fight suddenly left him. He felt nothing but a broken heart and bitter rage. He turned and flung down the weight, its heavy metallic clang resounding through the gym. Loki and Natasha watched as he walked away with shoulders slumped.

Natasha tried calling out to him. "Clint, please..."

He acted as if he didn't hear her. When he left the gym and turned down the hallway, Natasha thought she saw a tear running down his cheek.

A wave of guilt washed over her. She had hurt her best friend at the expense of her own happiness. And it was her fault. Loki finally met her eyes. She didn't see any glimmer of smugness or triumph in them. Instead, he only looked concerned for her. He asked quietly, "Would you like to return to your room now?"

Despite feeling tired, Natasha shook her head. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I'll stay here for a little longer. Don't worry about me...I can get back myself." She looked up at him with concern. "You need to take care of your nose."

He felt the blood on his lips as he cracked a wry smile. "Feels worse than I expected." Then his smile slowly faded. "I'm terribly sorry, Natasha. I started the fight. It was my fault for egging him on."

She sighed. "What's done is done."

With the help of his magic and without touching a thing, Loki cleaned up the mess he and Clint made. But he left the weights for Natasha.

His first instinct was to head for the temple. But fear of troubling Ming held him back. That, and coming with the proof that his bold move came with an embarrassingly painful price.

Instead, Loki retreated to his S.H.I.E.L.D. quarters and headed straight for the bathroom. He grabbed a towel, soaked it in water and pinched it firmly over his nose. Loki settled into a reclining chair. The blood pooling at the back of his throat felt uncomfortable. But doing that was better than letting it run down and stain his clothes. He made his hand holding the towel turn cold and blue. Nevertheless, his nose still throbbed. Loki suspected it must be broken.

'Damn him. His fist hurts as much as his arrow.'

Thankfully, the pain subsided in a matter of minutes. He felt fortunate to have superhuman durability and regeneration. Like with everything else, he took them for granted until he was in a bad fix.

Loki touched his nose gingerly. The pain was gone and the blood had dried. He set the bloody towel aside and rose from the chair. Changing out of his old clothes, he came across a wardrobe of various civilian attire S.H.I.E.L.D. agents would sometimes wear.

He should feel ashamed and guilty for fighting Clint. After all, he had been fortunate enough to kiss Natasha. Instead, the fact made Loki feel very elated and happy. Kissing her in that gym felt a hundred times better than he could ever imagine in his dreams.

Speaking of dreams, he was ready to get some rest. It had been quite an eventful day.

'I shouldn't go back to Natasha so soon,' he thought. 'She would need time to think and be alone.'

Sitting wearily on his bed, he began to close his eyes.

"Brother! You're back!"

Thor's booming voice badly startled Loki. The God of Mischief cursed and almost fell over in bed. He quickly schooled his features into unfazed indignance. Thor had burst into Loki's room without warning. The God of Mischief wondered why he hadn't noticed it before, considering that Thor couldn't keep still and quiet for long.

"Thor, what a surprise," he said dryly. "Have long have you been here?"

"Almost an hour now. I thought I could pay you a visit and keep you company. But alas, you were gone! So I simply waited, knowing you would return at some point." Thor's brow furrowed as he peered closer. "What happened to you?"

Loki cringed. He wished he could heal fast enough to completely get rid of his wound. Thor probably saw a big, ugly bruise left on his face. There was no way of avoiding it now. He would have to tell Thor everything. Loki blew out a loud, gusty sigh and held his gaze level with Thor's. How was he going to say this?

"Natasha and I...as you know, we've been seeing each other for quite some time since my stay on Midgard. As she recovered, we began to treat each other as friends instead of enemies. Eventually we've strengthened our bond and-"

"So she hit you?"

"Wh-what? No! Barton punched me in the nose after Natasha and I-"

His silver tongue turned to lead and failed him. He lowered his voice to a mutter and finished lamely: "After we kissed."

Thor's eyes grew as wide as plates. "Father's beard and Valhalla above...am I hearing things? Is this really true? You and Natasha...are courting?"

"Yes-er, I mean no, not really-"

"Loki, this is wonderful! My heart sings with resounding joy to hear this! My dear little brother, finally in love with a woman! And a lovely, fierce woman at that!"

If it wasn't for his nose, Loki would've slapped a hand to his face. Instead he barely suppressed an embarrassed groan.

"Thor, please! Do you want all the Nine Realms to hear your shameless declaration?"

"Why not? It's news worth spreading for everyone to hear. Mother and Father would want-"

Panic seized Loki. "No, they don't need to know!" He sat down with his shoulders slumped. "I'm not sure on what to do, that's why. I feel lost."

Thor sat in a chair across from Loki and the bed. "You and Agent Barton must have gotten into a fight."

"Unfortunately."

"Is he all right?"

"Of course he is." Loki snapped irritably. "I wouldn't dream of killing him."

"Do not take it the wrong way, brother. I'm concerned for all my comrades. But know that I'm on your side."

"If that's true, could you please keep the matter to yourself? At least, until Natasha and I sort out things between us?"

"You think I won't stay silent for long, don't you? I see the doubt in your eyes."

Loki couldn't help but shrug helplessly. He expected Thor to react with anger or indignance. Instead, Thor put a reassuring hand on Loki's shoulder.

"Yes, I must admit I am quite garrulous at times. However, I am anything but an oath-breaker. For your sake, brother, I will hold my tongue and keep my promise. Will you trust me, as I have trusted you with Natasha?"

Hearing that took Loki by surprise for a bit. That dispelled any doubts he had. He responded with a resolute nod. "We have a pact. Thank you, Thor."

The God of Thunder nodded and turned to leave.

Loki held up a finger. "Oh...one last thing."

Thor stopped at mid-stride. "Yes?"

"Now I understand why you're so attracted to Jane." A smirk tugged at the corner of Loki's lips. "Midgardian women are mysterious wonders to us, are they not?"

Thor laughed merrily. "Indeed. Father would wonder how the princes of Asgard managed to get themselves spellbound by mortals. I will see you soon, brother."

Thor's departure left Loki alone in his room. Loki's mood grew sour at the thought of Barton. It was not likely that the archer would keep the matter to himself. He scowled.

'Let him talk. As long as Natasha and I share a true, deep bond, I don't give a damn about any slander thrown my way."


Natasha wheeled herself back to her room. Thanks to automatic doors, getting back was relatively smooth. Along the way, she looked around the facility for any sign of Clint. Her efforts proved futile. She made it to her room with dismay.

'If there's one thing I know about him, it's that he would never give me the cold shoulder.'

She pulled up his number on her phone and texted him. "Clint, please let me talk with you. I'm in my room as usual."

She waited silently. And just when she thought the worst, that he wouldn't respond after all, her phone buzzed.

"Fine," his message read.

It was terse, and seemingly devoid of warmth. Usually he would respond with "okay" or even "got that, Nat." Natasha felt guilty for making him so upset. At the same time, the other part of her rejoiced from her kiss with Loki. Loving him seemed both impossible and real at once. She never thought that a former enemy would instill such strong emotional attachment in her. She had been trained all her life to put those thoughts aside. Now it was all she could think about.

Clint came within a few minutes. He looked reluctant to do so, though. His eyes had been fixed to the floor before he mustered the effort to gaze back at Natasha.

She tried to think of something to say. Nothing came to mind.

"Hi..." she finally said.

"...Hey."

Natasha sighed and sat up in her bed, so she wouldn't give the appearance of looking weak or ill. That time had come and gone. Now it was time not to talk as visitor and patient, but agent and agent. "After you being gone for so long, I haven't had the chance to properly greet you. How did your mission go?"

He made a wry shrug. "I came back alive. That explains a lot, doesn't it?"

"I'm glad you're not hurt," she replied sincerely. He made it sound as if she didn't want him back. But she would never think that way...not towards her best friend.

"Are you doing all right?" she asked. "You look very tired."

His voice was low and pinched with anger. "Don't worry about me. I'm worried about you. I've seen the way that guy's mind works." Clint folded his arms. "He's called the God of Mischief for a reason, Natasha. He lives for disorder and chaos. It's in his nature, and it's the only part of him he gladly accepts. He lies, cheats and steals to get what he wants."

"And I haven't?"

"You're different, Natasha. Way beyond his level. You've changed, but he never will. He can't help being a monster...that's something you can never change."

Natasha heard enough. "No, that is not true. There's nothing wrong with him. There's nothing wrong with me. I've seen for myself who he really is. And I accept him for it. I...I love him."

Clint visibly flinched. "Are you sure about that? Are you absolutely positive that these...feelings...are your own?"

"What are you trying to say, Clint?"

He huffed a sigh that bordered between frustration and despair. "What if you're under some kind of spell? Like...mind control?"

Now it was her turn to flinch. She felt very offended and hurt.

"My head feels perfectly clear. My feelings for him are real and from my heart."

"No, Nat. This isn't like you."

"You don't trust me." A part of her felt betrayed. The more she stared at Clint, the more her anger grew. "You were gone when Loki stayed by my side. And now you don't believe what I'm telling you."

His scowl burned her. "So it could've been different. If I had never gone on that damn mission, you would love me instead of...him."

She couldn't believe what he was saying now. "How could I know that? How could anyone? Speculations won't get us anywhere. You know that as well as I do." Her voice rose with every second. Before she knew it, she was practically yelling at him. "You need to come to your senses, Clint. Of all the years I've known you as my best friend, I've never seen you being this rash and insensitive. What matters is the truth. And the truth is that I love Loki, and he loves me."

She coughed and tried to catch her breath. Clint looked concerned. He stepped forward.

"Natasha-"

"I'm all right." she snapped. Her reply came out more forceful and terse than she had intended. Clint reacted as if he got whipped. Her face softened and her rage subsided. "Clint...it's been months, almost half a year. I know the guilt's still there, and I'm not denying what Loki had done to you. But he has changed. Everyone else can attest to that. He has helped me in ways I wouldn't think possible. In doing so, he is healing his own scars. I've found that even a monster can feel true love."

"You really love him...don't you? You believe in him too."

All she could muster was a wordless nod. She held his gaze, waiting for his reaction. Finally, he rubbed the back of his head and returned his eyes to the floor.

"All right...That's the end of it. I don't want to upset you anymore."

"Promise me you won't kill Loki the next time you see him."

Clint sighed in resignation. "I promise."

He turned to leave, but she spoke up. "Clint. One question."

He stopped right at the door.

"Where did you go? You know...after you and Loki..."

"The nest, as usual."

"So you didn't tell anyone? Not even Director Fury?"

"...No. Not yet."

Natasha sighed inwardly with relief. So no one knew about her and Loki. She wasn't sure what everyone would think if the secret leaked out.

Clint stared at her pointedly. "You don't want me to tell anyone." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Please, if you can."

After a few seconds, Clint finally responded with a curt nod. He left Natasha to herself. She sat back in bed, deep in thought and struggling to make sense of the whole thing.

It was all so ironic. She had a natural gift for lying. Why was it so hard for her to prove she had been telling the truth? Natasha pushed her frustration aside. What mattered was that Clint ultimately believed her. Whether he took it well, she did not know. She had given it her best shot. She could only hope that they were still good friends. That was how Natasha saw it. She and Clint were close friends and co-workers; nothing more, nothing less. She could always rely on him with her darkest secrets, doubts and fears. Until now. Because someone else, from literally out of this world, came into her life and changed her forever.

She pulled up her phone and texted to a different number. She could only hope that he knew how to use a phone by now.


Fortunately, Loki's dreams were devoid of any darkness and terror as he slept. Unfortunately, it did not last.

"Brother, Natasha brings you a message!"

Thor's shout rudely jolted Loki from his nap. The God of Mischief remained in bed, his head pounding and ears ringing.

"Natasha brings you a message!" Thor exclaimed again.

"She does?" Loki groaned.

"Indeed!" Thor thrust the phone up to Loki's face. "Wonderful device, isn't it? I have mastered the art of delivering and receiving messages by merely pressing commands. Midgardians call it 'texting,' I think."

Loki pushed Thor's hand away. He slowly pulled himself up and rubbed at his bleary eyes.

"Where did you get that thing?"

"Jane was kind enough to buy it for me. She says I can just worry about how to use this device while she deals with something called the 'phone bill,' or some sort of contract."

Loki squinted at the glowing screen. The message read: "This is for Loki: you're free to see me. I've talked to Clint. He's gone."

Seeing that made his heart lift. His grogginess instantly left.

'So she attempted to negotiate with Barton...'

"You haven't told anyone yet, have you?"

"Of course not, brother! Your secret is still safe with me."

"...I must admit I'm impressed."

Thor pretended to look hurt. "You can rely on me, Loki. I would not want to upset you."

'Yes, you've already done that countless times before.' Loki made a dismissive gesture. "It was merely a jest. Don't feel offended."

Loki thanked Thor and bid him farewell. He teleported directly to Natasha's room. He greeted her with a smile.

"I received your message from Thor. Your talk with Barton went well, I assume?"

His smile faded when he saw that Natasha didn't look quite so happy. He noticed that she attempted to brush it off with a light shrug.

"I made him promise not to kill you. That's a start."

Loki chuckled. "Yes, I suppose."

Deep down, he envied Agent Barton. The hawk had a very close bond with the spider, and Loki could only hope that mere friendship held them together.

"You must think I am a madman to kiss you back there," he said.

Natasha looked a little meek, which was unusual. "I...I liked it very much. I haven't felt this way in a long time."

"It's a first for me." Then Loki felt heat rise in his cheeks. "Never in my life have I been so captivated by a woman...until now." He moved to her bedside and sat down. He lowered his eyes. "When I first came to Earth and saw you, I did not know what to make of it. Looking back now, it hurt me to see you suffering. I've grown up in a world where I couldn't sympathize with anyone. I was too busy resenting everyone who seemed to be better or stronger than me. Especially when I had been in pain...like that time those Dwarves had sealed my lips shut. I was an object of ridicule to most, and an object of pity to those I considered close to me. I've been insensitive to Thor in particular. I just could not understand whenever he was in pain, or going through some kind of misfortune. Worst of all, he had his friends to support him when I refused to reach out for him."

Loki sighed heavily. "Maybe that's why no one liked me in return. I must have seemed like such a cold, heartless being. I was starting to think the same thing. But you helped me change that. You proved me wrong. Seeing you was the first time I felt empathy...and compassion..."

His brow furrowed when he lifted his gaze to her. "I had deserved my punishment from the Dwarves. That, and paying for my crimes with snake venom in my eyes. I know that much. But you, Natasha...you did nothing to deserve such cruelty. How could a fellow human stoop so low to hurt you in this twisted, horrible way? How could he?"

He didn't realize he had been gripping her hand so tightly. Natasha touched his face with her other hand. When she brushed her fingers under his eyes, he realized too he was crying.

Loki put a hand gently over her cheek. He felt the scar beneath his palm. "I wish I could do something to help. I really do."

"You already have," she whispered.

Natasha leaned in to plant a soft kiss against his lips. When they broke apart, Loki wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him.

"I didn't need magic or some kind of special power to make me feel better. Just being with you is enough."

He managed a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry about acting so somber..."

"It's all right. How else could I tell you why I love you?"

Loki hugged her closer and rested his chin on top of her head. They remained that way for several minutes, content in the quietness of the room and the company of each other. Then Loki pulled back slightly and met her eyes. "Natasha, I want to ask you something."

"Yes?"

His gaze bore mingled serious intent and nervousness. "Would you be my...um, lover? Or how do Midgardians say it...my girlfriend?"

The word sounded so strange coming from Loki. Natasha found it almost adorable. She surprised him with a kiss in return.

"Of course I will."

Happiness lit in his eyes like wild green fire. He quickly composed himself and his features reverted back to indifference. But it seemed to her like a feigned attempt, because he looked as if he could barely contain his joy.

He made as if to speak when a loud rap startled him and Natasha. Their heads snapped to the glass window. Loki recognized the two large ravens perching patiently outside. Frowning, he opened the windowsill by a crack. The birds dipped their heads at the former prince of Asgard and flew into the hospital room.

"What are you two doing here?" Loki snapped. "Of all the times you have to come in-"

"This evening is quite a suitable time," Muninn said.

"Yes. Quite a suitable time, this evening," Huginn said.

Natasha was not a woman to be taken easily by surprise. Still, she looked very intrigued, if not surprised, as she stared at the birds.

"The ravens...they talk...?"

Loki sighed and still looked flustered. "These two are Huginn and Muninn, ravens who serve Odin as scouts. Their wings carry them far and their eyes see much. I cannot say anything for their beaks, however. They often don't know how to keep them shut."

Muninn puffed up indignantly. "So says the Silvertongue, the God of Mischief and Lord of Lies."

Huginn buffeted the other bird with his wing. "Enough. We're not here to waste our time on petty insults."

Loki ignored them. "Huginn and Muninn, this is Nat-"

"We know her name."

"And we know what she is to you."

Loki and Natasha exchanged a quick, skeptical look. He bit his lip. "If you know that...then Odin has knowledge about the two of us."

Loki's heart sunk when the ravens nodded. 'Of course Odin would know. I had almost forgotten about these all-seeing dodos.'

"What is his opinion about us?" he asked with caution.

"We would like to say that the Allfather is very much pleased of this."

"Yes yes, this very much pleases the Allfather."

That surprised Loki. "It does? How so?"

"We do not hold the answers, I'm afraid," Huginn said.

"Only the Allfather knows," Muninn said. "All he had told us was that your bond to Natasha is part of a grand scheme we have yet to understand."

"A grand scheme? For a greater good, I assume. That is how Odin always operates." Loki sighed. "More questions and not enough answers. Is our bond that important?"

Huginn nodded. "Yes. With that said, we encourage you to continue your relationship."

Loki and Natasha exchanged a glance. Suddenly, he remembered something else when he turned back to the birds.

"How does Asgard fare? Is the realm well-protected? Had there been any foes or intruders invading?"

Muninn ruffled his feathers. "Have no fear. Asgard remains tranquil and quiet."

Huginn chimed in. "Everything from the commonfolk to the relics of the royal chamber are safe from harm."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," Loki replied with relief. He trusted that Heimdall and Odin would continue their vigilant watch for enemies like Thanos.

He couldn't help but ask another question. "Has Odin thought of restoring more of my magic? Like energy projection and-"

"The Allfather sees no need for it now," Huginn said.

Loki's heart sunk. "What? Why?"

"In the words of a contemporary Midgardian proverb: make love, not war." Muninn's eyes twinkled in amusement.

Loki bit back a sigh of dismay and irritation. He should receive some kind of reward for his good behavior. He wondered how much longer it would take to regain Odin's full trust, as well as his magic. At least he seemed to earn the Allfather's trust in letting him be with a woman. Still, it irked him that the omniscient Odin seemed to know more about them than he knew about Natasha. He had already proved that he had known more about Loki than Loki knew himself. It was an unsettling thought.

"I'm afraid it is time for us to fly. Our message has been sent," Huginn said.

"We wish you well," Muninn said.

The ravens bowed to Loki, and even Natasha, before taking off. When Loki cleared his throat and managed to speak again, he sounded uncertain.

"So, um...before I had been so rudely interrupted, I was thinking...As soon as you're released from the hospital, we could commemorate that with spending the night together." Then he blushed and stammered. "No, not in that way. Certainly not. What I meant was-"

"A date?"

He smiled at her sheepishly. "Yes, a date. Just the two of us having fun. Do you know when you are well enough to leave?"

"No," she admitted. "But I hope to get released as quickly as possible."

"I look forward to that day, whenever it may be."

The more he thought about it, the more he saw himself as an idiot. He had no idea, no plans whatsoever. He was a stranger on a strange planet, without a clue of what could be "fun" on Earth.

'At least we are together. That's a start.'


I hope I didn't make Clint look like too much of a jerk. Poor guy...he's either the bad guy or the victim in BlackFrost fics.

So...does anyone actually read the song lyrics or quotes at the beginning of each chapter? I'm just curious.

Omfg. Apparently, some Thor 2 spoilers are out! I'm torn between sticking with my storyline (I've planned in advance) or tailoring it to go along with movie canon. Either way I'm uncontrollably excited! Are you? ;D [Gum]