This one I came up with on my own. There for the mentioned idea was brought to you by ME! Enjoy!
-Tobi
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" Dinner!" called Unohana from the kitchen carrying a platter of roast, a bowl of whipped garlic potatoes, and balancing expertly a bowl of corn on her head. Putting the food on table she almost laughed at the fact they used shun-po to get to the table.
" Food, woman! We need sustenance!" screamed Kenpachi.
" Ya! Food is tasty!" agreed Yachiru.
Unohana laughed, " Alright, alright, dig in." She said and almost regretted it when she saw them break her plates, bend her silver ware, and pick up the food containers, not bothering to use and utensils, but as soon as Yachiru took a bite of her roast she screamed out in pain.
" Yachiru, what happened?!" asked a worried Unohana.
"My tooth! It hurts!" she cried clutching the side of her mouth as if to emphasize the point.
" You probably have a cavity from eating so much candy! Oh, I knew I shouldn't have given you so many lollypops, and Ukitate, he's always giving every one young candy, and Byakuya always gives you candy to make you shut up, oh and Isshin gave you that lollypop that time we took you to the doctors, for your cold! Oh, I'm a terrible person." Cried Unohana as she fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably.
Zaraki tried to contemplate why his girlfriend was crying, then came up with the only logical reason. She was on her period, and as if to further prove his point she suddenly switched moods. Unohana slammed her fist onto the table sat up and started yelling.
" Yachiru, You were the one asking for candy, it's your own fault for getting a tooth ache! No, wait…" she said as Zaraki thought ' oh no, she's going to release hell upon me! God, please let me see the light of day again!'
" It was you, Kenpachi, you were always with her when she was asking, maybe you should pay more attention to the girl, why didn't you stop anyone from giving her too much candy? This is your fault, not mine!" she screeched and then came down again.
" Oh, I really shouldn't be blaming anyone! Shame on me, blaming a small child and a nice man! These things happen all the time! Now, Yachiru, you can only eat the soft foods, and no dessert tonight, I'll call the dentist after dinner!" she said cheerily.
Yachiru and Kenpachi didn't say anything at all during dinner, but they ate at lightning speed as to not further disturb the unpredictable volcano Unohana. Once they were done Unohana tried to dish out the dessert to Kenpachi and herself but both himself and Yachiru dashed out of the dining room by the time she came back with two bowls of pudding.
" Why does every one keep leaving me?" she asked herself dropping the bowls and sobbing on the floor again.
--------------------------------------------------The next day--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Yachiru, Kenpachi, let's go! I don't have all day!" yelled a exasperated Unohana calling up the stairs.
"Ya, Ya, we're coming!" called back Zaraki with Yachiru riding on his shoulder, or at this point, her shoulder.
" Good, we have to be there by 11:00 so hurry up!" she said.
" Uh, Retsu, it's 10:30 and the dentist is just down the street so…"
" QUIET!" shouted Unohana, cutting Kenpachi off " we'll go when I say we go! And we'll go now."
No objections were made. They were too frightened she might explode.
" Good." She said regaining her composure and walking out the door with them quickly following.
--------------------------------------------------At the dentist's------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Well, well, well, looks like some one has a cavity, have you been eating too many sweets?" asked the dentist who's name was Dr. Hakaru.
" I could have told you that!" shouted Unohana " we came here because we need you to fill it! I'm a doctor I know tons of things about medical problems! I could have easily filled if I had my equipment here so just fill it and do what you're paid to do, danmit!"
Hakaru inched over to Kenpachi " Dude, your wife is scary." He said and Zaraki nodded without informing him she wasn't his wife.
" I said do your danm job before I rip out your eyes! Is that hard to comprehend you moron!" she shouted.
Hakaru ran over to Yachiru, whipped her around in the chair, and did the filling as quickly as possible. Yachiru didn't dare moan in pain; it would probably set her Uno-chan off. Once the filling was done Unohana seemed back in good spirits.
" Now, was that so hard? I'm sorry for being so harsh earlier; I've been very irritable lately. Kenpachi, pay the nice man, will you?" she said taking Yachiru's hand who was rubbing her cheek but then registered what was happening and began being frantic which surprisingly Unohana didn't seem to notice.
"Help me! Don't leave me with Uno-chan when she's being crazy! KEN-CHAAAAAAAANNNNN!"called Yachiru while waving insanely with the hand she wasn't being dragged by.
" Don't worry, Yachiru, just stay still and don't talk and you won't get hurt!" called Hakaru.
Zaraki turned to him " Dude she's not usually like this, I swear, she's just PMSing, by the way, names Zaraki Kenpachi." He said and held out his hand.
" Hakaru Yikego" Hakaru said " what's your wife's name anyway?"
" The crazy woman's name is Unohana Retsu, and she's not my wife, just my girl friend, and the little girl she was dragging was Kusajishi Yachiru, our unofficial foster daughter."
" Oh, I see. Well, maybe I'll see you around some time, Kenpachi-san. But for now I have another little girl waiting for a check up, hopefully with a mom that's less hostile. Good-bye!" said Hakaru as Kenpachi handed him the money.
They both stepped outside.
"Here you go, Yachiru, have some gum!" said Hakaru handing the small girl a package of gum.
"Yay! Candy!" she shouted. Unohana once again paid no attention to this, and neither did Kenpachi, but as soon as they went outside Yachiru started gagging and spit the gum out on the floor.
"EW! SUGAR FREE!" she shouted and Unohana laughed.
-----------------------------------------------Because it was requested-----------------------------------------------------------------
Keigo walked up to Ichigo with a smile on his face.
"Hey, what's up Ichigo? Whatcha got for lunch today?" He shouted and Ichigo tried to get the bag away from Keigo's reach but he got there first. " NANI!" the boy shouted as he pulled out the box of condoms waving it around the room for every one to see " why would you have these, Ichigo, are you sleeping with Kuchiki-san?" he said unaware he was shouting. Ichigo almost died right there as every one started laughing.
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Well there you go! KittiKat626 requested that last part!
-Tobi
