Eh, my sister helped me with the idea of this one. I personally don't like her stories, cause in my opinion, the teen titans suck, but if you want to check her out be my guest, her penname's Vianna.
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" So, the bill for the house is 3000 yen and soul society hasn't given us any money yet. Our salary is 100 yen short of what we need and we still need to buy food with that. I've made the call to the Seireitei about the situation three times and they have promised to send the money ASAP but usually ASAP in soul society is right away, regardless of anything. Where are they, the first call I made was last night, for god's sake!" listed Unohana who was listing off every detail of the money jam they were in.
" Che, who cares? If they come to the house I'll just beat them until they leave us alone." Said Kenpachi as if it were the simplest question in the world.
" Kenpachi, they don't come to the house to get the over due tax like they do in soul society. They cut off the resource we aren't paying for until we do pay them, baka! And why is violence always your answer to anything? Don't you have any other solution to problems other than beating them senseless?" she cried.
" There ain't no other way to do things without them coming back! They won't come back if they're afraid of you! You're the idiot!" he shouted and immediately realized what he had just said was a big mistake.
" How. Dare. You. You dare call your self a captain when all you know in life is how to beat something up? You have no strategy and no cares! All you care about is battling and hurting; get some brain cells before you slaughter every one in soul society! You've injured more of my division alone than I can count! Do you even care about your division anymore? Do you even care about Yachiru anymore? Do you even care about me anymore?" she asked saying the last part practically in a whisper. She went up to their room before Kenpachi had time to stop her and he heard the door slam and quiet sobs from up the stairs. He ran his fingers through his hair, which had to be kept down and in a ponytail this entire time or else it would have been considered 'weird'. He thought as he did this ' I really fucked up this time.'
But everyone was unaware of the small pink haired girl who had witnessedthe entire thing. This had been happening often and her Ken-chan and Uno-chan had been getting unhappier. Yachiru didn't want the only people she had known even relatively as parents split up over stupid things like money. She had seen how happy Uno-chan was when Ken-chan was nice to her as he rarely was. She had seen how happy her Ken-chan was when Uno-chan was even simply around. Happier than he ever was even playing with Ichi! She had to do something and she had to do it ASAP, and ASAP in soul society was right away, regardless of anything. Yachiru sees a lot of things happen from the crack in the wall under the stairs and she didn't want to see something like that ever again.
She crawled out from underneath the stairs and made sure Kenpachi couldn't see her and dragged the phone book back with her to her stair hide away then began searching the pages. Kenpachi went for a walk a few minutes ago and she was pretty sure Retsu was sleeping. When she came to a certain page she suddenly burst out laughing. Apparently the little Caesars mascot was the most hilarious thing she'd seen all day. Underneath that she found what she was looking for and her smile widened.
---------------------------------------------------The next day-------------------------------------------------------------------------
" Uno-chan! Ken-chan! We gotta go!" shouted Yachiru rather loudly. Unohana had made Kenpachi sleep in the guest room so when they both came out to see what was going on they looked at each other, Zaraki looked like he was about say something but before he had a chance Unohana had slammed the door again.
" Uno-chan open up you promised to take me where ever I wanted today! You said we could bring Ken-chan too!" cried Yachiru, knowing Unohana didn't remember small promises like that but always kept a promise.
" Fine, but only because I've never broken a promise in my life and I'm not going to brake it now because of Zaraki-san." She said, adding the Zaraki-san to emphasize her closeness to him, which had apparently furthered apart.
She waltzed out the door and took Yachiru's hand bringing her to the door. Yachiru turned around and looked at Kenpachi hopefully and he sighed and came with them but made sure to stay five paces away from Unohana as not to make her smite him.
" Where are we going, Yachiru?" asked Unohana with a smile.
" It's a surprise! For you and Ken-chan!" she said happily "so close your eyes real tight, you too, Ken-chan!" she said turning around.
When they closed their eyes to humor her she knew they would open them when she looked away, she wasn't as dumb as that teacher said. She had gone to Urahara's shop the other day to ask for something to keep their eyes shut and he complied by giving her two sets of sun glasses that looked normal enough but when put on they make your eyes freeze in the sequence they were in.
" I'm going to see if Ken-chan is alright he might walk into something!" she laughed and darted tward Kenpachi telling him to close his eyes tighter, once again to humor her he did. She slipped on the glasses and took his hand bringing them closer too Unohana.
" Zaraki-san, since when do you wear glasses?" she asked but was yelled at by Yachiru who was covering his mouth, now upon his shoulder. "Uno-chan! Close your eyes!" she shouted and the woman laughed shutting them tightly. Yachiru took her chance, swooped down like a monkey, and put the glasses on her.
" Yachiru! What did you do?" I can't open my eyes!" said the fourth division captain, slightly annoyed.
"Ah-ha! So you were going to open your eyes! You too, Ken-chan! Mou!" said the girl who linked Zaraki and Unohana's hands together and jumping onto Kenpachi's left shoulder " Now I tell Uno-chan which way to go and she leads us there! Yay! What a fun game I made!"
Unohana growled under her breath and Zaraki looked frightened.
"Left!" said the girl and they turned left " right!"
"Left!"
"Left!"
"Right!"
"Left!"
"Stop!" the vice captain suddenly shouted and Retsu obeyed " We're here!"
She jumped off of Kenpachi's shoulder and took both of their hands leading them inside.
" Uno-chan and Ken-chan please!" said Yachiru to the secretary who looked confused and Yachiru slapped her forehead, she turned behind her where she had left the feuding couple in two chairs, glasses still on. She studied them a moment and shut her eyes tightly in concentration then a light bulb appeared from above her as she remembered.
"I mean, Zaraki Kenpachi and Unohana Retsu!" she said and the two heard this slightly surprised that she had actually remembered their names.
" Oh, here we are! Yes you may take your parents inside." Said the secretary and Yachiru beamed and rushed to grab her 'parents' hands leading them inside. She opened the door, pushed them in closed and locked the door, tore off their glasses, and sat down. The first thing the two of them saw was a man in a tidy brown suit that looked like he was in his early thirties. His tie was long and black and he wore well-suited brown shoes with normal black hair. He got up and offered his hand to them both.
" Hi, I'm Yuroshi Kusijo," Kusijo said "I'm here to help you through the things you need to discuss and give you the room you need to sort it out. After all, that's what couples therapy is about, right?"
---------------------------------------------------To be continued-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------The awkward misadventures of Ichigo and friends---------------------------------------------------------------------
PART THREE
What a hectic day it had been in the life of Kurosaki Ichigo. First he had a math test, a history pop quiz, a science test and a hollow. By the time it was lunch he had thought his day couldn't get any worse, oh how wrong he was. His dad thought it would be funny to slip a box of orange flavored condoms into his lunch and take his real lunch to have for himself instead. Keigo had to make it worse by shouting and waving it in the air with accusations of cough having relations with Rukia. The class thought this was hilarious and had to spend the rest of the day convincing people he wasn't with Rukia. He had had his day of clouds and darkness and now he thought it was over, unfortunately everything he wanted today seemed to have the opposite effect.
"Ichigo what are these?" asked Rukia snapping him out of his thoughts. He turned to see her with the box of condoms that had apparently fallen out. He was frozen when he saw her and he couldn't speak. He wanted to grab them away but the thought was lost as she opened up the box and took one out, unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth. Her eyes widened.
"Yum! Orange!" she said with glee as he fell to the ground twitching slightly.
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So that was chapter four! Yay, chapter four! Any ideas you may have don't, I repeat, DO NOT give them to me in form of review, I want it to be a surprise for all so PM me instead. If, IF, I choose your idea, you shall be informed! Thanks for the idea for 'the awkward misadventures of Ichigo and friends', KittiKat626, really appreciated!
-Tobi
