A/N: Remember when I said I'd post after Christmas? Well... oops? OK so my shitty excuse is that I got a new phone, so now to update I have to turn on my old one and use that, anyway, I swear I'm gonna update a heap until school goes back, because I'll be in year 12 then, and I'm not gonna have much time to write. But for now, enjoy chapter 10, with a little cliffhanger!

Chapter 10: Numb

Dr Johnston arrived later that afternoon, shutting herself and Kendall in his and Logan's bedroom so they could talk.

"So Kendall," she said with a warm smile as she shut the door behind her.

"I don't need a shrink," the blonde muttered, folding his arms across his chest as he sat down on his bed.

"Look, I know you're don't agree with this, but-"

"I'm not crazy, OK?" Kendall interrupted.

"I know you're not crazy," Dr Johnston said kindly "but Dr Andrews believes that talking to someone will help you come to terms with the accident-"

"That's what my best friends are for!" Kendall pressed "And my mom and sister! I don't wanna talk to some stranger about what happened!"

"I don't have to be a stranger, Kendall," Dr Johnston said gently. Kendall had to give her credit; anyone who knew him at all would know that it was best to leave him alone when he got frustrated like this, but then again, Dr Johnston didn't know him, she didn't know the first thing about him! Why should he be forced to spill his guts to this woman who claimed to help him? How did how did he know that she'd be able to help him anyway? Unless she was some miracle worker who could pull him out of this state of numbness, then he didn't see how just talking talking to her would do anything to make him feel better.

Dr Johnston had been watching him closely over the past few minutes, and when Kendall looked up from the floor, he saw her picking up her clipboard and standing. "I think that's enough for today," she said, giving the blonde a small smile "I'll see you tomorrow, Kendall," he muttered his reply as she left the room, huffing as he sat down on his bed.


Dr Johnston had been visiting Kendall for nearly a week and to Carlos and Logan, it didn't seem that she was making much progress with him. Mrs Knight, the ever positive person she was, assured the boys that he was getting better, but his best friends just couldn't see it. Even Logan was pushing his doctor instincts aside in favor of worrying for his friend: Kendall barely came out of his room, and when he did, it was only to use the bathroom for food; Logan fretted that Kendall was going to get sick for lack of fresh air and vitamin D, but it was useless trying to get him to move, he would just push everyone out, saying he wanted to be alone. For Kendall, being alone was his best option, or so he thought; being on his own was better that being with the others, having them constantly pestering him, asking him if he was ok. Honestly, he didn't feel off at all, in fact, he didn't feel anything; he was numb, he wandered aimlessly around his room, playing games on his phone, scribbling in his notebook, even reorganizing his beanie collection, anything to keep him busy.

Those times were the worst, when he was doing nothing, and the memories of the accident came rushing back; it took Kendall everything he had to push them back, so it was no wonder he collapsed into bed every night, exhausted, into a dreamless sleep; his only escape.

Kendall awoke one morning to someone shaking his shoulder, and looked up to see Carlos looking down at him, excitement glinting in his eyes.

"Kendall!" Carlos yelled into his face, apparently oblivious to his friends emotionless expression "Kendall you gotta get up!"

"Why?" the blonde muttered, shrugging off the excited Latino "What's the point?"

"What's the point?" Carlos repeated incredulously "You'll see! We gotta go the hospital, Kendall!"

"I'm not going to some shrink in the mental ward!" Kendall argued "Isn't it enough that I have to see Dr Johnston every day? Like I keep telling you guys, I'm fine! I don't need mental help!" Kendall tried to push Carlos off, but the smaller boy had a surprisingly tight grip, and he found himself thrashing pointlessly,

"It's not you!" Carlos cried, keeping a hold of him "It's James! He looks like he's gonna wake up!" Kendall froze in his grip, looking away, and Carlos' heart sank; he'd hoped beyond hope that the blonde had improved at least a little bit, and would be excited to see his best friend again.

"Carlos!" Logan called as he made his way into the room "Carlos, what's-?" the genius scoped the situation with in several seconds and sighed, "Look Kendall," he said to the blonde, approaching him as Carlos let go "I know you're guilty, and you're scared about what happened, but this is James we're talking about here, this is your best friend!" Dr Johnston had warned everyone in 2J to not push Kendall into thinking about the accident, or James, but right now, all Logan cared about was the pretty boy's recovery, and the fact that James would want all three of his best friends by his side when he woke up. To Logan's relief, Kendall didn't have an attack, and simply gave a small nod, allowing Carlos to lead him out of the room.

The drive to the hospital, and Logan was grateful that Kendall didn't flip out once he saw the hospital, and that he stayed silent throughout the entire walk to James' room, and even seeing him unconscious on the bed. The one thing that Logan didn't expect was for Kendall to stay quiet and calm when James' eyes fluttered open and he uttered the three words the genius prayed he'd never say,

"Who are you?"

A/N: Is this chapter too choppy? I feel like it's too choppy! Anyway, pretty please review, even though this is crap!