My sister, Vianna, brought inspiration for this story to you. If you like Raven/Robin teen titans fan fictions, go to her. I personally think that the teen titans, for the most part, are stupid, but if you like that kind of crap, go for it.
-Tobi
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And so begins the epic horror that Kenpachi must deal with today, but there seems to be an epic horror every day so he's pretty used to such horrors. Any ways, today's horror was worse than any he had ever encountered. Worse than when he had to explain to Yamamoto as to why the reports from the 11th were written in blood and not ink. Worse than when he was forced to buy Unohana feminine products because she was unable to. And far worse than when he found Yachiru covered in cake, paper, and mongoose feathers, hanging upside down from the ceiling fan, which just happened to be on, giggling like an idiot. He still tried to erase the memory of her explaining what had happened, that was just the highlight of his day, but not to worry, Iba, Matsumoto, and Renji had all gotten their punishment.
This wasmore horrific than anything he had ever encountered and it all had to be on the day that they were to all gather at Urahara's and give reports to Yamamoto, which they would most likely be late for at this point seeing as it was already 8:14 and the meeting was at nine. By the looks of things, they wouldn't be leaving for quite some time. That's right folk, our old friend Zaraki Kenpachi was forced to go shopping to every shop in the mall that appealed to Yachiru and Unohana, and carry every bag they had. By now he had nine of Yachiru's bags in his left hand and seven of Unohana's in his right, a six year old girl on his left shoulder and a extreme shopaholic clinging to his right elbow smiling like a giddy school girl scanning expertly the stores for one that caught her eye, Yachiru doing the same.
All seemed under control until Yachiru spotted a store called zellers and off they went.
"I want this and this and this and…oh, not that, but that ones good!" said Yachiru throwing dresses and pants, and shirts onto Kenpachi, while Unohana had waltzed over to the woman's department and came back with three dresses, two skirts, a pair of pajama's and two pairs of jeans. While Zaraki would not doubt that these would look great on her, it was more for him to carry, so just as she was going to go to the jewelry table he suggested that they pay for this and go to the food court, after which they could drop all the stuff they had already acquired and go drop it off in Urahara's car. God the last thing he wanted was six more bags to add to his stress.
" Alright," she said now realizing how much stuff she and Yachiru had bought and forced onto him "Yachiru, do you want to grab something to eat with me? Kenpachi is gong to drop off all the stuff we got and meet us at the food court."
" Ok, Uno-chan! Let's go to the one that has the toys! Mc-something…" said Yachiru pondering half heartedly to figure out the name of the restaurant, at this Unohana laughed and they continued on, leaving Kenpachi smiling at Yachiru and her usual accidental cuteness.
'Wait a minute,' the man thought 'they left me to carry all the bags again!'
" GODDANMIT!" he screamed.
" Zaraki-san?" a man said coming around the corner with a little girl that looked about Yachiru's age but had long brown hair, like the man holding her.
" Hakaru, nice to see you again. Who's that right there? Your daughter?" Kenpachi asked.
" Yep, she's in my custody seeing as her mom just got sent to prison. I'm transferring her to Karakura elementary. Yachiru go there? Your girl friend not crazy anymore?" he asked.
" Yachiru's at Karakura elementary, Retsu's the school nurse there, and like I told you before, periods are scary." Answered Kenpachi " And what's the girls name?"
" Ah, I see. My daughters name is Amari. Can I ask you something?" said Yikego leaning over " Are you here for the arrancar situation aswell?"
Zaraki was taken aback by the question " You're a shinigami, man? Dude, why didn't you say something before? And what's your rank?"
" Yes, I'm a shinigami. I'm the fourth seat on the first division, and my daughter's going to graduate from the academy in a matter of days. She's so strong, she's graduating sooner than anyone else has ever, I suspect she'll be the new vice captain to the third, cause Kira's such a wuss and can't control his division without his captain. I didn't say anything before mainly because I thought Unohana-taicho was gonna tear out my eyes, Zaraki-taicho."
" Whoa, I'll be ecstatic if Amari replaces Kira. I hate him so much for being so weak. You don't have to use my title, man, just call, me Kenpachi, but I'd prefer if you called Retsu Unohana. When we get back, feel free to swing around the 11th, I'll even invite you to poker night!"
" Sweet. You need help taking those bags to your car?"
" Thank you God!" he praised and handed about nine bags to him, forcing him to put his daughter down " hey, you wanna take the kid with you and join us for lunch? Yachiru's having the mickey d's experience as we speak."
" Can we, daddy, oh can we please?" Amari said, finally speaking aloud " I wanna have lunch with the scar-chan and the little girl I saw him with!"
" So, she is inta nick name too, eh? She and Yachiru will be best friends in no time."
" Is that so? Well I've only heard rumors of the nicknames she gives and her obsession with candy. This one too. So let's get going. How about we drop Amari off with your family and we'll go drop these off and join them. Whaddaya say?"
" Ya, that sounds good. She good with directions or is she like Yachiru and gets lost all the time?"
" She's got my sense of direction, being good. So Amari, can you make it to them and tell them what's up? Unohana has long black hair and it's…"
" In a braid at the back today."
" Ya, and Yachiru is the girl who looks and is your age and has bright pink hair, really can't miss it. They're in the food court."
" Okay daddy! See ya, scar-chan!" waved Amari happily as her long hair trailed behind her as she skipped along.
" Well then. These bags. Where to?" he asked.
Kenpachi sighed and said, "Follow me."
When the bags, all twenty of them, were safely in Urahara's car they left to the food court to see Amari and Yachiru playing with their hello-kitty dolls and Unohana watching them with smiling eyes, munching on a salad from kim moon.
"So, You were afraid of me Mr. Fourth seat of the first division? I can't blame you though. I get more than a little irritable during that time of the month."
" Amari! Yu weren't supposed to tell her that part!" Hakaru hissed.
" But you said to tell Ana-chan and Chiru-chan what's up and I did!" she defended.
" Yay! Ami-chan and me are gonna be friends forever! When she's a vicey too we can play all the time!" shouted Yachiru with glee.
" Ya!" agreed Amari.
" Ana-chan? Chiru-chan? I see you've made nicknames for our friends, haven't you, Amari? Well that's good." Said Hakaru and his longhaired daughter nodded just as his cell phone went off.
He answered it with a " Hello?" and waited with a few 'Hai's and closed it with a frown.
" I have to go back to the Seireitei on Monday for a mandatory count of the first divisioners Yamamoto holds this kind of thing every time we have a battle, But I can't bring Amari, what'll I do?" he said slightly stressed.
" Hey, I have an idea! Why don't Yachiru and Amari have a play date on Monday? It would be great for them and we wouldn't mind a bit! Right, Kenpachi?" suggested Unohana.
" Ya, I wouldn't care. Whaddaya say, Yikego? We watch your kid and you do your work?" nudged the normally carefree captain.
" Fine to me, how about you Amari?" Hakaru said kneeling down to his little girl.
" Ya! Chiru-chan and me are going to hang out all the time, right?" the small girl said turning to her friend who nodded vigorously.
"Hey! What happened to my chicken nugget! Daddy! You ate it!" Amari accused.
" Caught me!" he laughed, but the little girl wasn't laughing in fact she was staring angrily at her father who suddenly said "everybody run!" and they ducked for cover.
BOOM!
When the explosion of spiritual energy faded the little girl was crying, even after Hakaru apologized and gave her a sucker out of his jacket and finally said "Amari, what's wrong?"
" My hello-kitty exploded." she said with a pout.
-----------------------------The awkward misadventures of Ichigo and friends--------------------------------------
In the dead of evening, a man in a green and white hat crept slowly over to a large object sitting in the center of the beam of streetlight.
Silently, he flew over as agile as a dancer, like a freaking ninja, and felt the object, all that could be seen a green cloaked arm caressing a vehicle's hood. Taking out a silver key and placing it in the fitting place, he opened the car door and crawled into the back, a mysterious, dark creature following close behind sitting magnetically on the roof.
Inside the car the man was searching for an important item, on crucial to his and the creatures plans. On the floor of the car his hand searched all around until feeling a lump and then smiling widely. He poked his hat-covered head out the now open window and said to the creature looking back at him with sharp yellow eyes "I found another McDonalds toy! It's hello-kitty too! Did we break the record yet?" Asked Urahara.
The cat looked as if it was calculating something " Nope, at least one hundred more."
" Drat! We'll beat it some day Yourichi, I swear on the life of the Quincy!"
" But we don't really like the Quincy." Yourichi said.
" So if we don't beat the record no hard feelings!" he replied carelessly, and the dark cat rolled her eyes.
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So, what do ya think? Am i getting better, worse, not improving but not decreasing in talent? What do ya think of the chapter in general? Any ideas are welcome for future chapters in form of PM, and only PM. R & R!
-Tobi
