"Let me get this straight. Elphie's dad is the Wizard."
"Uh huh."
"The Wizard's daughter is Elphie."
"Uh huh."
"Elphie's the Wizard's daughter."
"Uh...huh..."
"The Wizard is Elphie's daddy."
"Uh Glin..."
"Don't interrupt me, Fifi, getting my mind sorted out here is of upmost importance."
"Yeah, after Elphaba's dealing with the news," mumbled Fiyero. The green woman had been to quiet now, after an hour of holing herself up in her room and leaving her two friends restless in the dining room. But it was better than her blowing up the whole castle in rage, reasoned Fiyero. So they could only sit and wait till Elphaba had cleared her head. Well, at least Fiyero could; Glinda had been pacing around the room since she'd passed the half-an-hour mark. It was confounding to watch the blonde hobble around on her broken toes, not even wincing in pain.
"I'm worried for her, I really am," said Glinda, about to bite her nails, until she realized she didn't have any. "Oh my Oz what if she flew after the Wizard to kill him?"
"But what would it matter?" asked Fiyero. "He's a bastard, a womanizer, a...a..."
"Slippery, weasel-tongued, devil-spawned, bimbotic, egocentric, pathetic excuse for a man?" came a voice.
Glinda and Fiyero turned to face the source, finding her upon the staircase, leaning lazily against the railing.
"Fae!" exclaimed Fiyero, standing abruptly from his chair at the table.
"Yes, 'tis I," droned Elphaba.
"How are you feeling?"
"I don't know," said Elphaba. "Maybe I feel ecstatic because I just got an hour to read in peace without you worrying over me and Glinda screaming for me to change out of my army boots."
"You were reading?" gasped Glinda. "I've been pacing around this room on my broken toes and worrying as you read?"
"Or," continued Elphaba, "I could feel like crap, after realizing I'm the damned daughter of the bleeding Wizard who has tried to kill me."
"You, aren't going to go all rabid on us, are you...?" asked Fiyero warily.
Elphaba laughed. "No, the only person I might go rabid on is the person in question himself. He is my father, but he will never be my dad. Frexspar was my dad, no matter how many daily beatings I got from him."
"He beat you?" demanded Fiyero, gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turned white.
"Calm down, Fiyero, the dude's already dead," said Glinda casually. "Don't you remember that report in the newspapers? Surely you didn't miss the front page with the big bold word of 'Frexspar the Godly: Death by Shame'?"
Elphaba felt a stab of guilt as the mention of the consequences of her reckless actions surfaced. No, she had not shed a single tear when she heard of her 'father's' death, but it didn't mean she had ignored the fact that she had caused it.
From below, Fiyero observed Elphaba. The usual green girl he knew would've come at Glinda with another snappy remark on reading, but now he only saw her hug herself and begin to sob slightly. Was it possible that she was mourning the man of her childhood torment?
"That's all I can do, isn't it?" asked Elphaba, to no one in particular. "Only able to drive my own parents to their graves."
Glinda put her hands on her hips. "Hey miss, what did we say about your mother?" she asked, with an air of authority. "It may be your secret - "
"But that doesn't make it true," Elphaba finished with Glinda. "I know, but it's just - "
Suddenly, there was screaming to be heard from the West Wing.
"The guest room is in the west wing, isn't it?" groaned Elphaba.
Fiyero gulped. "Yep..."
"Argh, fine, I'll deal with the farm rat," grumbled Elphaba, turning on her heel and exiting the room.
Glinda cast a dubious glance towards Fiyero. "I think you'd better go after her in case she decerebrates the girl."
"I don't even know what decerebration is," murmured Fiyero absentmindedly, but nonetheless obliged after the blonde stared him down.
The door was literally rattling when Elphaba reached it.
"Alright, you lil' siren, what do you want?" she demanded, somewhat impatiently.
"I...I need to pee!"
"Bloody Oz," muttered Elphaba.
Just then, down the corridor, she heard Fiyero's voice. "What does she want, Fae?"
"She needs to pe - do her business."
She heard a string of Vinkun curses echo down the hallway. "Fine!" she said exasperatingly. "I'll get her to the water closet!"
And so she unlocked the door with her skelton key, only to open it and find a bucket of water hurled in her face.
"W-What the -" Elphaba stood, bewildered, spluttering as a pair of pigtails whipped by after their owner. "Oh for crying out loud!"
There was a surprised 'oomph!" at the end of the corridor, followed by screams of 'let me go, you despicable stranger who eerily resembles Scarecrow!" before Fiyero emerged from around the corner carrying a screaming and kicking Dorothy.
"Fae, you alri - oh..."
"Seriously, I let the ten-year-old kid out of her room to piss and this is what she gives me!" huffed Elphaba, wringing the water from her damp raven hair. "Kids these days."
"You're not melting!" gasped Dorothy. "How? Why aren't you melting? Shouldn't you be dead in the first place? Not that I ever meant to kill you, no, I never meant to, but you're not melting! And Glinda's under yer control! Please, Miss Witch, I swear on Hunk's overalls that I'll be a good girl, just let 'er go!"
"Kid, even if I told you the truth you wouldn't believe me," said Elphaba, exasperated. "Who would believe that my sister possessed me and my father is that blinkin' Wizard?" She grunted as more water was wrung out from her skirts.
"Elphie? Fifi? Is everything alright?" came Glinda's voice. "I found Dodo running around. The poor girl's not decerebrated, is she?"
"I think we're more injured than her, Glin," returned Elphaba, flicking her wrists.
The blonde came into view carrying Toto, and halted as she took in the wet, irritated green witch, and the struggling Dorothy in Fiyero's strong hold. "I see..." she said slowly.
"Glinda! You must break free from the Witch's spell!" cried Dorothy. "Please!"
Glinda furrowed her brow, uncomprehending. "Elphie put a spell on me?" She gasped, her free hand flying to her hair. "Oh no! Don't tell me she turned my hair black!"
Elphaba rolled her eyes, and Fiyero's face scrunched in attempt to stifle his laughter.
"So you know what decerberation is," he stated. "But not what Dorothy is quite heavily implying here."
"What was she implying?" asked Glinda curiously.
"That you were possessed," replied Elphaba flatly.
"Possessed?" shrieked Glinda; so loudly that Toto jerked in her arms. "Why on earth would I be possessed?"
"Because I'm the Wicked Witch of the West and you're Glinda the Good," answered Elphaba dryly. "And you're not making mush of me."
"Why would I make mush of my best friend?" cried Glinda.
Elphaba threw her hands into the air. "Why do I even bother?"
"You're best friends?" gasped Dorothy. "How?"
"Even I don't know," muttered Fiyero.
"Thing is, I am not possessed!" declared Glinda. "Elphie was the one who fell victim to possession."
"So it is true!" said Dorothy, turning to stare at Elphaba, somewhat in awe. "You were possessed! So are you really the Wizard's daughter?"
"Damn unfortunately so," mumbled Elphaba. "For a whinny girl who tried to kill me, you believe things pretty fast."
"Oh, I'm just a girl with a really farfetched imagination," said Dorothy timidly. "I suppose anything can happen in such a magical wonderful place as Oz."
The three Ozians exchanged glances. Dorothy's description was only of the jolly surface that hid the mess of the complex, dark politics of Oz; just of the mask she wore.
"Yes...I suppose anything can happen," said Elphaba, chewing her lip. Fiyero released his hold on the girl, seeing no use to keep it, and went to fetch Elphaba a towel.
"You know, you're pretty nice for a wicked witch," commented Dorothy, blushing at her courage to talk to the woman who had been her arch-nemesis a few minutes ago.
"I've seen worse," murmured Glinda, shuddering at the images of Elphaba in her delirious state. "It's a miracle she ain't setting your socks on fire for dumping water on her."
"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" apologized Dorothy. "But I was just so scared, and afraid, and...and..."
"Oh no, don't think that just because I'm being nice now means that you can release the tears," warned Elphaba as the girl's breath quickened. She sighed as Fiyero wrapped her in a warm towel, pecking her on the cheek affectionately. "And yes, I suppose I'm in better moods now that my problems are over." Looking down at the girl, she added with a hint of frustration, "Well, most problems."
"Isn't there a way you can send her back?" asked Fiyero. "It's all she's been talking about the whole day down that annoyingly yellow bricked road."
"How do you know that - " began Dorothy. She gave a surprised squeak. "You were the Scarecrow, weren't you?" Her eyes only widened further when Fiyero nodded his head. "Oh God now you guys are just dropping bombs everywhere," she rubbed her temples furiously.
"And I'm surprised you aren't fainting under the explosions," muttered Fiyero.
"I can try to find a spell from the Grimmerie if you want," replied Elphaba. "But it might take a while."
"I can wait," said Dorothy cheerfully. "I waited once for Uncle Henry's runaway cows to come home; this will be a piece of cake."
At that moment, Elphaba sneezed.
"Yes...I suppose you can wait for Elphaba to get herself changed out of these damp clothes then," said Fiyero, wrapping a protective arm around Elphaba, instantly leading her away.
"Let me guess, the Wicked Witch of the West is the Scarecrow's girlfriend," assumed Dorothy, as she caught Fiyero planting another kiss on Elphaba's wet cheek. "Never could've imagined."
"Me neither," confessed Glinda, watching the pair walked down the passage into the distance.
"I hafta admit, they're kinda cute together," said Dorothy. She smiled gaily.
"Yes," agreed the Good Witch, absentmindedly stroking Toto's fur. "They deserve each other."
Her smile was genuine.
A/N: Sorry to all those who wanted Elphaba to go rabid :[ Hahaha hope ya'll had a merry Christmas! My brain just wasn't functioning for this story for a while, but it's still alive :) IITT'S ALIIIIVE! Ö
