I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.
And if I was a shadow
On a long lonely gallow
Than hang me and pull off my lip
Cause making up stories was all I could do
And you know that the truth ain't worth shit
Truth.
The true or actual state of a matter. Conformity with fact or reality. Honesty; integrity.
It was a tricky concept for most people. The thought of telling someone how you really feel about something is overwhelming. You never know if they'll think you're actually sincere. Worst of all, you never know how they'll react.
For a while truth seemed to be lacking in Peyton's life.
"I want this. You know, I wanna be here. I wanna have everything with you. I want it all. I want us."
"Brooke's great, but she's not you."
"I can feel it in my heart."
"It's always gunna be there isn't it? You and me."
She was tired of all the lies.
Taking a deep breath she walked in the direction of the other blonde. She didn't want to do it at school, but right now she figured she had all the courage she was ever going to muster up. He was sitting with Brooke in the quad. Rumor around the halls was that they were officially a couple. Well, she wished it were a rumor, but she had heard it straight from the horse's mouth.
"P. Sawyer!" she cheered.
"Hey Brooke", Peyton said with as much enthusiasm as she could. She honestly didn't feel like being in school today. She had the worst morning sickness ever and it wasn't even morning.
"Guess what?" she asked with a grin. Peyton suddenly felt even more nauseous.
"Lucas totally pimped my locker. He told me it was very exclusive and then he asked me out; like for real", Peyton watched as her best friend's eyes filled with joy.
"That's great B. Davis", Peyton lied through her teeth.
Brooke squealed and clapped her hands together. "I know, its like after everything; we're finally good again", she finished a little awkwardly. They both knew why she and Lucas weren't so good to begin with.
"Like I said, its great Brooke, but I've got class. We'll talk later", Peyton was already down the hall as she finished her sentence.
This was going to suck. It was going suck big time. He was with Brooke right now sitting at the table . . . and in life. Forever. No not forever, she thought as she shook her head. Although he did want to be with her. He obviously wanted to be with Brooke. God, she was going to ruin everything.
She felt her eyes burn, but pushed them back as far as she could. She couldn't cry. She took a deep breath before continuing her walk. Students walked past her; talking about the killer Calculus test they had, their plans for Friday, or arguing about prom details. Peyton couldn't help but be bitter.
This Friday she would probably be at home, like every other Friday. And she knew she passed that test with flying colors because all she had done was study. Prom? She didn't even want to think about Prom. She and Brooke had been talking about it ever since they were eight, but there was no way she was going. She had to stop again to take a breath. Her lip quivered and her vision blurred, but she couldn't cry. Crying meant weakness.
Right now, Peyton needed to be anything but weak.
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Lucas sat with Brooke in the quad. He knew she was talking about something important, but he wasn't giving her his full attention. He focused in on small words in case she quizzed him. Something about dinner, making out, Haley, his huge black eye, Peyton, her locker. Wait, Peyton?
"What did you say?" he asked as he turned to face her.
"I said I love what you did to my locker", she whispered before kissing his cheek.
"Before that", he brushed off her sweet comment.
"I can't believe that Nathan hit you?" she asked, not sure what he meant.
"No, about Peyton", he told her; watching as she raised a brow.
"I said she seemed kinda off today. Why are you so concerned?" she tried her best not to get jealous.
Lucas sighed. "I'm not. I just wanna make sure she's okay", he said quietly.
This time Brooke sighed. "I know you spent the whole summer with her. I know you two bonded, but she's alright. I mean she was weird today, but I don't think she was feeling well", Brooke noted as she remembered Peyton's pale expression, "Anyway, if something was wrong Nathan would have told one of us by now"; she said hoping to ease her boyfriends concerns.
"You're right", he said dejectedly.
"Anyways, I'm your girlfriend Lucas Scott. Start paying attention to me", she teased with a smirk. Lucas looked at her and smiled.
"Whatever you say Pretty Girl", he said as he leaned down to kiss her.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a mass of curls head their way. He broke away from Brooke and pulled her over to him. She continued to talk and he continued to listen; all the while he kept one eye on the blonde figure.
She would walk about five steps and stop. He watched as she took a deep breath before walking again. He assumed she was walking over to him. Well, he hoped she was. He felt his pulse quicken as she continued her walk. Then she paused again. He wasn't sure what she was doing. If this had been three months ago, he could tell you exactly what she was thinking and exactly what she was going to say simply by the way she was walking. But now, well those days were over.
She seemed to be having a debate. She rolled her head to one side before doing the same in the other direction. She bit her lip and Lucas smiled slightly. She still looked incredibly cute when she did that. She shook her head and pushed forward. She made it about six steps before she placed one hand on her stomach and covered her mouth with the other. She changed direction and took off for the nearest bathroom.
He watched her retreating figure and sighed before returning to the conversation Brooke thought they were having.
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Peyton leaned over the porcelain bowl and felt the contents of her lunch empty from her stomach. She clutched the sides of the toilet bowl to help keep her steady. She really hated this. Morning sickness was called morning sickness for a reason. Why the hell was she throwing up at one o'clock in the afternoon?
She took a deep breath before slowly standing up. She swallowed hard and instantly regretted it. As she lurched back down she tried to pull back her own and steady herself at the same time; neither were possible. As she groaned she felt her hair get pulled back. She froze and prayed it wasn't Brooke or worse Lucas; they had locked eyes right before she felt a wave of sickness.
"Let it out", the calming voice told her.
She was shocked to say the least. In fact, she wanted to throw up from the surprise of that alone. She doubted that this person would come to help her. They hadn't exactly been on the best of terms recently.
"Haley?" she questioned.
But that's what happens when you leave for a rock tour.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly. Peyton crouched against the stall door and sighed.
"I'm fine."
"Good", she said as she began to walk away. Peyton took a deep breath.
"Hales", Peyton said in a weak voice.
"Don't call me that Peyton. My friends can call me that, but as you've told me so many times, we're not friends", she said fiercely.
"Haley, I'm sorry", Peyton said in the same time she had before.
"I mean seriously, you've got a lot of nerve. I come in here because I saw you run for the door. I must be stupid because somewhere in my mind I felt the need to check on you, I must have forgotten that we aren't friends", Peyton let Haley continue her rant. Once the petite brunette, well now blonde started; there was no stopping her.
"God and your sleeping with my husband", Peyton looked at her with wide eyes.
"I'm what?"
"Don't play innocent Peyton Sawyer. Everyone's talking. You and he have been all buddy-buddy since the middle of August", she pointed at Peyton threateningly.
"You know Haley, you might wanna check with the people involved before you start yelling at them", she spoke as she stood up; the wall of the bathroom stall giving her support.
Haley rolled her eyes before she spoke again. "And what might I need to know Peyton?" she asked rhetorically.
"Nathan and I aren't sleeping together", Haley could hear the sincerity in her voice.
"Then why are you spending so much time with each other?" she still needed to make sure.
Peyton took a deep breath. She didn't want to tell Haley. Not before she spoke to Lucas.
"He's just been there for me lately–"
"I'm sure he has", she said sarcastically.
"Haley, just shut up!" Peyton yelled. She watched as Haley flinched, "you have no idea what you're talking about. You're in here squawking like a freaking chicken and you're a damn fool for it. He's my friend. Noting more and nothing less. You can take that or leave it, either way I don't care", she said sadly as she began to walk past her.
"Peyton", Haley stopped her, "what's going on?" you could hear the genuine concern in her voice.
"I'm just having a really bad year so far", she cursed her hormones, "it all sucks and Nathan's the only one who knows everything and it sucks that people assume we can't be friends without it involving sex. He's my best friend Hales and if you can't deal with that then I'm sorry, but that won't change", she said with determination.
Haley watched as the girl in front of her went from being enraged to completely broken in a matter of seconds. That's when it all clicked for the given 'tutor girl'. The vomiting, her sudden change in mood, Lucas had told her about what happened between them. There was really only one answer.
"Peyton", she said sympathetically. Haley wrapped her arms around her and Peyton did the one thing she tried so hard to avoid. She cried.
Because maybe it was okay for her to be weak sometimes.
My home was the scene
Of a quarrelsome Mary
Who flared up whenever I spoke
So I brought her some letters
Washed down in adventure
And my bed would be lonely no more
I know . . . she still hasn't told Lucas, but she will I promise lol, and I know the whole Brucas reunion didn't happen that way, but it's my fanific lol…leave somee.
