Guys, I'm so sorry for this! I uploaded this to my doc manager like 2 weeks ago, but I completely forgot to publish it for you guys and then I went on a cruise and didnt get back till today to fix it! I know that some of you were really anticipating this chapter so I'm sorry for the wait; enjoy! (woo over 3500 views, for me this is amazing! ahha)
~ Laurissa
Tell me what you guys think of Rin's back story and how the others will react at the bottom! I'll respond to you in the next update! (the last updates will be at the bottom!)
Chapter Six
~Rin's POV-Three Years Ago~
Cold…It's so cold. Where am I? Why does my body hurt?
My eyes open-at least it feels like they are-but why can't I see? I don't think I'm blind, it doesn't feel like that, I'm just surrounded by darkness. I've felt chilly before, but I've never felt a cold like this. I called out the names of people who I could sense were not here: Yukio, Shima, Shiemi and the list goes on. After what felt like hours of useless shouting, the dark cloud that seemed to engulf me, began to clear. It wasn't exactly light, but it wasn't absolute darkness either.
I ran towards that hope, wanting to feel even the slightest bit of warmth that it could offer me. I had never thought that feeling cold could make you feel this way-empty, abandoned, deserted. Even in my weakened state, I ran-but even an idiot like me could sense that what was coming was not what I wanted. The eerie glow seemed to spread towards me quicker than the speed I was running towards it at.
I slowed down until I came to a stop, and just a moment after, the light rushed passed me, as if I were standing in the middle of a highway. Everything was in black and white and the world seemed to be rushing by me in a blur. After a moment, the world seemed to set in place but it still didn't feel real. Nothing was clear, I brushed my hand through a post and the image seemed to dissolve and then reappear once my hand was away from it.
Suddenly, people began to appear, one by one and sound quickly followed after that. I seemed to be in a garden-Shiemi's to be precise. The rain was coming down hard, making it even more difficult to see. Her garden didn't have as much appeal without the wonderful colours of the flowers. I seemed to be surrounded by exorcists I didn't know and they all looked particularly rattled in some way.
I felt the faintest presence of someone approaching me, but just before they hit me, their body dissolved and then solidified after passing me. I could feel panic seizing up in me again. What is going on?
"Where is that idiot?" The person asked herself quietly. I turned around and saw Shura.
I saw Yukio before her and ran up to him, feeling relieved. Yukio would know what to do.
"Hey, Yukio!" I shouted, waving my arm frantically. "What's going on? Why is everything in black and white?"
He didn't even look up at me.
"C'mon, what did I do this time-" I stopped when I saw his face. He hadn't been crying but he looked so…destroyed. That's probably the simplest way to put it.
His eyes were wide open, but they weren't taking anything in. His shirt was torn at the sleeves and collar and the red smear on his forehead revealed that something or someone had hit him there. However, it was still the eyes that frightened me the most. If I didn't see him breathing, I would have thought he were dead.
"Yukio!" Shura shouted once she spotted him. She looked like she wanted to shout at him, but stopped when she saw the same distant look in his eyes that I saw. Her irritation turned to concern and she slowed her pace before sitting on the bench next him. Before she said anything, she took off her coat and put it over the soaked Yukio, but he seemed too far gone to even notice.
"Yukio, what's wrong?" I asked quietly. I wasn't surprised when he didn't answer, but that only made my worry for him grow.
"Is it true?" Shura whispered, not daring to meet his eyes.
"Is what true?" I asked, confused. What the hell is happening?
Shura noticed a tear escape Yukio's eye and slide down his cheek, mixing with the rain. Although I had no idea what it meant, it seemed to confirm whatever Shura asked.
She put a comforting arm around Yukio, an action very out of character for her.
"That idiot," She muttered, leaning against his shoulder. I'll be honest, their closeness was disturbing me a little-I had no idea Yukio had it in for older women. "He'll come back to you-this is Rin we're talking about after all."
A chill passed through me. I laughed, but it was hollow. "What are you talking about? I'm right here…"
Yukio looked up, and you could see the dark shadows under his eyes more clearly. "They snapped the sword. It's in two pieces now. Even if he came back, he won't be the Rin that I know-it'll be a stranger."
"You don't know that," Shura whispered after a moment. "Rin isn't anything if not stubborn."
Yukio shook his head. "He left me. He's my brother and he left me behind. We've always gotten through our obstacles together, we've never had to face anything alone-but now I don't have anyone, and I don't know what I can do-I don't have a family and Rin…I just, I don't want to even think about what they could be doing to him right now."
My body had gone numb. I could hear what Yukio was saying but it wasn't processing in my head. I'm dead-that's the only explanation for this-but I still felt alive. "Y-Yukio, I'm right here!" I shouted. I waved my arms in front of him, but whenever I got too close, the image would dissolve. The panic that I was keeping inside me began to leak out to the surface. My breathing was quicker and heavier, I began to feel dizzy. "I'm fine! Just look up, Yukio! I'm right here-I'm right in front of you!"
The weight bearing down on me finally got to my legs and I collapsed to the ground.
"What the hell is happening?" I asked aloud, even though no one seemed to hear. "I don't understand…I'm right here-but they still can't see me! I exist-I'm not gone!"
"He's gone," Yukio repeated at the same time, but his voice was hollow, empty, just like the look in his eyes.
I shook my head in disbelief. Yukio is one of the best exorcists of his age-he's a prodigy. There's no way that my leaving him would make him become this weak-but everything I was seeing verified that unbelievable truth. Seeing him like this, finally made me reach my breaking point.
I screamed and shouted at faces who only looked at me blankly. They couldn't sense my presence at all-they leaned on one another shoulders, giving each other some strength and warmth, while I could do nothing but watch, suffering in the cold silence. I couldn't cry though, I'll even admit that I tried to-I wanted all of the negativities in me to just be released-but no matter what I tried, I could not cry.
There was an emptiness in me, a void that kept growing and seemed to feel like it would last forever. It wasn't a hunger, but a craving.
"Riiiiiiiin." A voice called, drawing my name out slowly.
I turned around quickly, feeling hopeful. At first I thought someone had finally noticed me, but then I realized that this wasn't coming from the world Yukio was in. A body began to manifest ahead, but this person was in colour, not in black and white as the others were. Once his body was whole, I realized that this was not a person but a demon-a demon who looked very familiar. The closer he got to me, the quicker the realization of what I did hit me.
No wonder Yukio's crying… I thought. My memories from a short time of go came back to me. Although I felt a pit in my stomach, I didn't regret my decision. I'd gladly throw my life away from my brother and friends if it meant protecting them, but still…I can't say I'm happy that this happened. I will admit though, this is probably the noblest thing I have ever committed myself to in my life.
"Remember me?" The demon asked, laughing.
I glared at him, but didn't say anything. I didn't want anything to do with guys who used clichéd lines from movies.
After a moment the demon scowled and began to pace around me. "You're not in Gehenna-yet," He explained. I looked up now, confused. I crossed through the gate, so if I'm not in Gehenna, then where the hell am I? "You're in an abyss-" he continued, as if reading my thoughts. "-in simple words, you're in-between Assiah and Gehenna. Normally when passing through the gate, you would directly go to Gehenna, but even though you've got Satan's genes running through your system, Gehenna still recognizes you as a human."
I scratched my head, not really understanding any of this. See, this is why I always walked around with Yukio. "Yeah, I still don't get it. Look I'm not saying that I want to go into Gehenna, but what would I have to do? Am I going to be stuck here for the rest of my life?"
He looked at me in disbelief. "You really are an idiot, aren't you? I'm saying that in order to cross through the gate completely you need to kill-more specifically, take a human soul for yourself."
…Kill?
"After all, that's what being a demon is all about," He continued, grinning smugly.
"Then I guess I'm going to be here forever," I replied, matter-of-factly, making my choice easily. I looked at him, with what was most likely the most serious face I have ever worn. "There's nothing you can do to make me kill a person."
The demon's smile became even broader. "Oh, don't worry about that, we won't do anything." I stared, waiting for him to continue explaining. "I bet you're already feeling that pit in your stomach right now? That's true hunger; the craving for human souls. At the moment, I doubt that it's extreme, but the longer you sit here and wait-without human food to satisfy it, the stronger that feeling in your stomach will become. It will be unbearable, a demon starving itself is one of the most painful punishments for us."
I just stared at him with a simple expression. "So I'll just starve myself to death."
"You think it's that simple?" The demon replied. I felt the quickening of my pulse as he approached me-although his presence was not as powerful as mine, the way his eyes bore into mine terrified me. "Demons don't starve. Once they reach a certain point they lose control and go on a massacre."
The blood in my body went cold. "That won't happen to me." I said, but there was an undeniable waver in my voice. "Regardless, I thought I was trapped here? There isn't even any way for me to get a human soul."
I could tell that the demon was getting irritated with having to explain everything; it's not like I can help it-I've always been a little slow. "Didn't I already tell you? You're in an abyss; the veil between Gehenna and Assiah is at its weakest here so you don't even need to cross over. It's not very common, but you'll be able to kill someone easily from this side without even crossing back home. You'll lose control and people will die."
My body was trembling as my emotions were trying to push their way to the surface. "I will not-" I hissed through my teeth. "-I will not lose control."
The demon tossed its head back and laughed. "Take a look at yourself, Son of Satan; you've already lost control!"
I took a look at myself-a good look and was rendered speechless as my mouth went dry. The blue flames are everywhere. How is this possible? I-I can't even feel them, they feel natural, like they aren't even there. I went over these thoughts repeatedly, trying to find some explanation. Is it because the sword broke? That's the only possibility, right? So I'm going to be like this forever? I recalled all of the times that my flames covered me and I also remember how I lost control of who I was almost every time as well-when I lose control, I become a demon. Looking down at myself, my inner thoughts that protested that I was demon seemed to diminish quickly.
My breathing became harder and my breaths came through quicker. My eyes were wide as I collapsed to my knees, my hand clutching my shirt roughly.
This can't be happening, I thought in shock. This was my only thought that came through cleanly from the mess of my mind. I was okay with dying; hell, I even welcomed it. I was prepared to be a prisoner in Gehenna and I wouldn't even mind staying in this abyss for the rest of my life-but I am not okay with this. I am not okay with becoming a demon, I am not okay with killing. This is not okay.
The demon walked by me, his figure beginning to fade away. Although his back is to me, I could feel the presence of a smile on his face as he was leaving. "I'll be checking up on you every now and then, until you come to your senses. I doubt I have to wait long-in your state, I'll give you two days, at least."
Nothing could describe how I was feeling besides helpless. I wasn't good at anything-even as a human I was nothing but a burden to both Yukio and the Old Man. I could feel the pressure of tears forming behind my eyes as all of the stupid mistakes I've made in my life came rushing at me. Why am I so weak? I thought, defeated.
The demon said one last thing before departing from my presence. "I suggest you hurry up and just take a soul-staying here is futile. I promise you, that each day will grow more painful and unbearable then the next as you watch your loved ones on the other side lose themselves because of your disappearance. Farewell, Son of Satan."
~Third Person~
The blue boy wandered around the great abyss endlessly-the demon was right; all he could feel was the pit in his stomach aching for nourishment-a type of hunger he did not want to have fed. However, as the days went on the young boy was forced to watch; he watched every day pass by in the human world. He watched his friends grow apart and become new people. Their personalities evolved into something different, darker-without the young boy bringing daily smiles to their faces, they were forced to face the harsh reality that not all of their comrades will be returning to them with the path they have chosen.
The young boy cried and screamed to his friends to not be affected by his disappearance, but even he knew that his cries was effortless in his situation and also dangerous. Whenever his emotions got out of hand, the souls pulsing with life in the humans seemed to be attracted towards him, as if he were a magnet. there were countless times that he had almost taken the life of a human because of this. These experiences make his condition worse as well. There have been close calls when the human souls were just within his grasp and he could almost taste them. It was now impossible for the boy to deny that he craved human life. He wanted it more then anything-never before has he felt this type of hunger.
He had learned quickly that in order to keep himself in check, he'd have to stop seeing the people from his past. Watching them did nothing but bring forth emotions that can make him lose control. It was extremely hard, but the boy came to the conclusion that he had to leave his loved ones for good. He knew that he would never be able to leave though, without saying goodbye to his brother at least once.
He went to the dorm room that he had once shared with his younger brother and found Yukio Okumura lying back in his bed, one arm covering the upper part of his face. The boy bent down, feeling a flood of emotions. He didn't want to say goodbye to his brother, his only really family, but it was for the humans' sake that he was doing this. He whispered to his brother, even though his farewell went unheard. Just as the boy was about to leave, he heard his brother whimper behind him.
"I'm sorry," Yukio said out loud, his voice trembling. The boy went numb seeing a tear run down his brothers face. "I'm so sorry, Rin."
The voice had surpassed a tremble now. Even with his arms covering his eyes, the tears falling from them made their way through as Yukio's body was shaken by sobs.
"I was supposed to be watching you, I-I was supposed to protect you," Yukio cried. The boy stood there, unable to move. "I-I'm sorry that I got caught and you had to take my place. I was-I am weak and I'm so sorry for that Rin. All of this is my fault."
The younger brother continued to cry while the boy could do nothing but watch his brothers anguish. After what felt like hours, the boy finally snapped.
"Stop it, Yukio!" He shouted. He ran to his brothers side, screaming in his ear, but Yukio did not react. "It isn't your fault, it isn't anyone's! We all knew that this day was going to happen sooner or later, so don't put all of the blame on yourself! I'm right here, Yukio! I'm fine, I'm ok-"
The boys cut his words short. The feeling-the hunger, was rising, he was moving towards his brother like a predator about to attack his prey. The closer he got to Yukio, the brighter his flames burned and a red tint began to glow in his eyes. Just when he was about to satisfy his hunger, his conscience momentarily gained control and allowed him enough time to leave his brothers side.
He had been careless, and he was aware of it. Something was wrong now. Normally when he'd start to lose control, the feeling would dull slightly, but the feeling only became stronger and he knew that he had reached his limit. His body was burning internally, agony was all he could feel. He was crying and screaming all at once as he fell the ground. His body shook violently on the ground as his flames moved to take control of him, the boy tried to force them back, scared of what will happen to him-what can happen to others-but it was no use.
His body calmed, and the boy laid unmoving on the ground. After several moments passed, the boys eyes opened. Wide and red, the boy stood up and devoured every single soul around him. He greedily ate them all, not letting a single one go to waste. Humans dropped like flies in the world of Assiah, and the others ran away screaming, terrified of this unknown phenomenon that was happening. It didn't take long for him to have his fill, Tokyo was full of human souls; more than enough to satisfy his hunger. He laughed as everything became clear to him. Assiah began to dissolve for the boys view and new world began to take form.
This is a completely different boy from before. He has no heart or compassion for others, he knows that in order to survive, he must strive for himself and live only for himself-no one else mattered. The human world disappeared completely and demons appeared, one by one, in full colour, smiling, welcoming him. The boy-no, the demon-looked among his brethren, scowling, but feeling anticipation and curiosity growing in him for this world.
The demon chuckled to himself and raised his head, flashing a greedy smile. "Your Prince of Hell has now arrived."
PS: By the way, this isnt the last time I'll be referring to what happened to Rin in the past (both before and after finally crossing to Gehenna). I plan on having some flashbacks, but I want to know how you feel about that and if you want to see more of it? Let me know ! :)
Review Responses:
Fmp : yay, I'm glad that you think so! :)
blackchaosaria2501: dont worry, your english was fine! I'm glad that you're so enthralled with the story too!
97kingdomwolf: as long as you guys support me, I'll continue :)
Taikito: I'm glad you like the writing, I've never written a character like the way I'm writing this type of Rin so it's a bit of a challenge ahha
Rabbit Paols: hopefully, the story will keep you interested! :)
Kendra: Thanks, I'm glad that you're enjoying it so far!
Mayuko-chan: tell me what you thought of Rin's back story afterwards :)
Zerozero2013: sorry ahah, I'm canadian, like americans say "y'all" a lot of canadians (like me) say 'guys', attributing to both boys and girls ahah
Guest: well luckily, your wait is over!
Canada's-yuki: your enthusiasm for the update is one of the reasons why I keep updating this thing! :D
britt: well, there you have it :)
