I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.

It was Peyton that grabbed his hand…it'll be explained in this chapter.


When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

The three friends had been rooted in the same positions for the past twenty minutes. Their eyes wide and mouths hung open. The curly blonde they loved hobbled into the house with Lucas firmly at her side. She hadn't spoken a word to any of them and to be honest they had been too shocked to utter a sound.

The door creaked open and the blonde of the hour attempted to make her way out. They heard a low curse and the sound of something hitting the ground and Nathan jumped to his feet. He walked back into the kitchen with Peyton in his arms.

"Nathan Scott, put me down", she reprimanded him, "I dropped my crutch; it's not that serious", she assured him. He placed her in a chair and she sighed in annoyance before rolling her eyes at him.

"Lucas is finally asleep", she announced after another ten minutes of what she considered uncomfortable silence.

They continued to stare.

"Are any of you ever going to talk again?" she asked seriously.

"I still can't believe you're here", Brooke said in awe.

"Alright you guys, stop it. You're all freaking me out", she begged as she shifted in her seat.

"Can you blame us Peyton? A few hours ago you were in the hospital and now you're here", Haley pointed out.

"I knew there was a reason we called you tutor girl", Peyton teased.

"Seriously though, what gives?" Nathan asked.

The blonde shrugged, "I woke up and was filled in on everything, plus I remembered some of my own things. The news happened to be on and they made an announcement about Keith's funeral; as soon as I heard that . . . there was no way I was staying there", she said as her eyes began to burn.

"And they just let you leave?" Brooke asked incredulously.

"No", Peyton scoffed, "but I told them there was no way in hell I was staying there when everyone else was hurting. Then I told them if they wouldn't let me leave I was going to sneak out", she said seriously.

"Not to be a kill joy, but isn't it kind of dangerous for you to be here", Haley said softly as her husband shot her a look.

"Not exactly", the blonde assured her. "The baby's fine, the heartbeat and everything else was normal."

"But, what about you?" Nathan voiced his slight fears. Peyton sighed.

"I have to wear this", she said as she held up the bracelet.

"What the hell is that?" Brooke asked in confusion.

"Basically, if I feel sick or something I press the button and an ambulance comes."

"So, it's those things old people wear in case they fall down and can't get up?" Nathan asked with a smirk.

"Smartass", the blonde muttered.

"That's it?" Brooke questioned.

"Well, I have to go to the hospital once a day for the next week so that they can keep a steady record of everything", she said while shrugging her shoulders.

The room was quiet for another minute until they heard the sniffles coming from the other pregnant woman.

"Hales?"

"I'm just so glad you're okay", she whimpered as she carefully enveloped Peyton in a hug.

"Did you really think I was gunna leave you to do the whole pregnant teen thing alone?" she joked as tears formed in her eyes.

"P. Sawyer", Brooke croaked out. Peyton smiled before extending her arm to call Brooke over.

"I'm feeling a little left out", Nathan teased from his end of the table. The girls turned to him and smiled before calling him over.

The four teens huddled together and held on to so much more then each other.

------------------------------

"So, what are you going to do now?"

Brooke and Peyton sat in the living room. Peyton's injured leg was propped up on the coffee table. Nathan and Haley were making plates of food for them. It seemed that everyone in Tree Hill had brought their own casserole for the Scott family.

"Whatever I can do", Peyton said as she shrugged.

"I am really glad you're okay P", Brooke spoke as her voice shook. Peyton smiled sadly at her best friend.

"Brooke, stop it", she playfully swatted her arm, "I'm here and I'm fine."

"But what if you weren't", hot tears rolled down the brunettes cheeks, "what if you had lost too much blood, or Lucas hadn't gotten you out in time. What if you got shot in somewhere other then the leg?"

"I didn't though. Brooke none of those things happened. Yes, they could have, but they didn't. What is going on with you?" she asked in concern.

"It would have been my fault", Brooke's confession was barley above a whisper.

Peyton furrowed her brows. "What?"

"I shouldn't have left you."

"Brooke—"

"I should have held onto your hand tighter."

"Stop it—"

"I shouldn't have left the school until I knew you were with me", the brunette continued to ramble.

"Brooke Penelope Davis!" the blonde whispered harshly. Brooke's eyes snapped to meet Peyton's.

"Stop talking like that. It wasn't your fault", she said as she grabbed Brooke's hand, "none of this is. It's a sucky situation and it was a horrible thing, but not one bit of it was your fault", she spoke her words strongly and with conviction.

Brooke nodded her head. "Sorry", she said meekly.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Brooke asked carefully.

"Not yet", Peyton said truthfully, "I can tell you that I won't ever look at libraries the same"; she attempted to shield herself with her sarcasm.

"I'm glad you weren't alone. I'm glad that Lucas was with you."

Brooke was being completely sincere. She was glad that Peyton wasn't alone because, well she couldn't even imagine how much more traumatic that would have been. She was glad Lucas was there because honestly, there wasn't any other person she would have wanted Peyton to have been with at a time like that.

Given their past, Peyton assumed the worst. Had he told Brooke about the kiss? Was Brooke trying to trick Peyton to see if she would confess? She swallowed hard and decided to come clean.

"Brooke, the day of the shooting . . . I, umm, I-kissed-Lucas", she finished in a rushed breath.

The brunette's eyes widened. What did this mean? Was Peyton in love with him? Was she going to try to be with him?

"Time to eat", Nathan's voice boomed.

She would have to wait to get her answers.

------------------------------

"How's Karen?" Peyton asked as they sat around the kitchen table once again.

"Not good", Haley said bluntly, "she's closed off and . . . you can see the pain and emotions she carries, but she won't open up", her voice shook and Nathan rubbed her back.

"How's Lucas?" Brooke asked normally. Peyton cleared her throat before answering.

"Umm, he honestly didn't talk. He umm, just grabbed my hand and held it the entire time. All the way home from the cemetery to the time he fell asleep; even then I had to pry his fingers out from in between mine", she kept her gaze on anything but the brunette across from her.

"How did you get home?" Nathan asked, "Luke didn't have the car and I know you didn't drive."

"Car service", she watched as he nodded.

"Aren't the crutches uncomfortable?" Haley asked as she cleared the table.

"Sometimes."

"I would have thought they'd give a pregnant woman a wheel chair", Nathan said some what accusingly.

Peyton looked away in guilt, "Well, you see . . . they kinda did", she admitted softly.

"Peyton!" all three of them shouted.

She placed a finger over her lips to silence them all.

"I don't need that thing. I'm not a damn cripple."

Nathan shot her a knowing stare.

"Okay, so I'm half a cripple, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm fine with the crutches", she said defiantly.

"Where is it?" Haley asked.

"Outside", Peyton groaned.

Haley sent Nathan a look and he nodded before turning on his heels.

"Guys, this is so unnecessary", she whined as Nathan walked back in.

"Sawyer, they obviously gave you this for a reason. You need to use it", he said firmly as he bent over to her.

"Nathan Scott, if you pick me up and put me in that damn wheelchair I swear it will be the last thing you do", the tone of her voice was enough to make him stop mid-step.

"Promise me you'll use it", he begged.

Peyton sighed. "I promise."

Haley yawned and Nathan turned his attention over to her.

"I guess we should get going", he acknowledged.

"Tree Hill High awaits us in the morning", Brooke said somberly.

Tomorrow was going to be the first day back since the horrifying event. Nobody was truly prepared for it, but it needed to be done.

"I'm going to assume you're staying?" Nathan asked Peyton.

She nodded sheepishly. "I wanna try and talk to Karen and maybe get something out of Luke", she finished quietly.

"Can we give you a lift?" Haley directed her question to Brooke.

"Oh, umm actually—"

Peyton faked a yawn and stretched her arms out. "I am beat", she said to nobody in particular.

The brunette sighed before nodding her head.

------------------------------

She cautiously entered the dimly lit room. The woman she considered another mother was huddled under the covers. The only way you actually knew there was a person under there was by the unsteady rise and fall of the oversized comforter.

"Hey Karen", she said awkwardly. She waited for some type of response. It didn't even have to be words; it could have been a sigh or a sniffle, even a cough. Instead there was nothing.

She was tempted to forget the whole thing and go to bed, but she knew she couldn't.

"After my mom died, my dad wanted to stay in bed all day and for a few days he did. Then Brooke had had enough", she said with a small laugh, "She walked into my dad's room, ripped the covers off of him, put her hand on her hip, looked him in the eye and told him he had a daughter that needed him", the smile never left Peyton's face, "she was my best friend before that whole thing happened, but right then and there I knew that we would truly be best friends forever", guilt consumed the young blonde, but she did her best to push it to the back of her mind.

"So, I'm assuming you're wondering why I just told you that. Well, I'm going to do the same to you", she said firmly, "I'm not going to pull the covers off of you because I only think its cute if a nine year old does it. But I am going to tell you the same thing Brooke told my dad", she wheeled herself a little closer and took a deep breath, "Karen, you have a son that really needs you. He's hurting a lot and he's got a lot of other things going on and you really need to be there for him. Please don't shut him out. That's the last thing he needs. You both have to work off of each other to get through this", she whispered as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You know, I need you too", she said honestly, "I mean Haley's great and reading about pregnancy with her is fine and I can look stuff up too", she assured the woman that appeared to have no interest, "it's just that . . . I don't have any mother figures Karen. My mom died when I was a kid and Ellie just died and I need someone I can turn to with questions or insecurities or fears", she took a deep breath to stop her sobs, and "you're that person for me Karen. So it might sound selfish, but I need you to live through this pain. I need you to get up everyday and be there to talk to.

"You're a strong woman Karen, stronger then I think you know and I admire you so much. You did exactly what I'm doing now and you came out of it so put together and self sufficient. I hope I can be half the woman you are seventeen years from now", she said honestly, "I know what you're going through is hard. Well, hard isn't even the word to describe it, but I know how it feels. But I promise I'll be around if you ever wanna talk or just cry, I'll be that shoulder; it's the least I could do", she collected herself before staring down at the broken woman one last time.

She wheeled herself to the door, but stopped just before she opened it.

"I'm pretty sure this little one's gunna need his or her grandmother too."

------------------------------

She sighed tiredly as she veered around the house. She tidied up what she could; it was hard to do so in a wheelchair. But she promised Nathan she would use it and she would. The phone broke her from her thoughts.

"Scott residence", she answered.

"Hey", the brunette chirped. Peyton furrowed her brows before checking the caller i.d.

"Brooke, why are you calling from my house?" she asked accusingly.

"Oh, I live here now", she stated simply.

"What?"

"We don't know when your dad will make it home and you shouldn't live by yourself at a time like this . . . plus I gave my apartment key back to the married kids", she added quietly.

"Oh."

"Listen Peyton, about earlier—"

Peyton cut her off before the yelling could start, "I'm sorry Brooke. I don't know what came over me. It just happened and I wish I could take it back. Don't be mad at Lucas for any of it", she pleaded.

"Peyton, we broke up", Brooke heard Peyton gasp.

"Brooke, don't", she couldn't believe she was saying these things, "you love each other. I know the kiss was a betrayal, but he's gunna need you now."

"Peyton, we broke up before the shooting. That morning actually", Brooke said with a sad smile.

"What? Why?"

"He finally realized what we all knew a long time ago."

"What's that?" she asked hesitantly.

"That he's in love with you", the brunette replied with a smile.

"Brooke—"

"Don't even try to deny it. We all know it's true, own up to it", Brooke pried.

Peyton smiled, "I'm gunna go to sleep."

"P. Sawyer, don't you dare hang up on me!"

"Night Brookie", Peyton teased as she hung up.

The smile remained on her face for her entire trip into Lucas's bedroom. It soon vanished upon seeing his stiff form. She sighed quietly before rolling herself further into the room. She carefully got into bed and stared at the ceiling. She turned her head to look at him. His eyes were shut and she was sure he was asleep so she took a chance.

"Lucas, you're always saving me. Give me a chance to save you . . . please", she begged.

His hand reached for hers and her breath caught in her throat. In hopes to make things more comfortable she began to talk.

"So, I was thinking" she whispered as she made herself comfortable, "If this little one is a girl, we'll name her Anna or Elizabeth. It doesn't matter which one is first because the other name will be her middle name. Sorry, but you get no say in that", she teased. She faced him in hopes of receiving a smile or that smirk she loved. Instead she got nothing.

"And if it's a boy", she continued, "Well, his middle name has to be Nathan. I know, he'll haunt us forever", she joked, "but I lost a bet and so, plus he kinda has to be the godfather, so I guess it would be fitting", she couldn't help but to be slightly worried. She was getting far to use to talking with herself.

"If we do have a boy, I was thinking that his first name should be Keith", she said quietly. Lucas lifted his body so that his eyes were even with hers.

Nervousness took over and she began to ramble. "I know how important Keith was in your life . . . I figured it would be a nice way to pay respect to him, but if you—"

She stopped herself when she saw him bit his lip in an attempt to stop it from trembling.

"Luke", she said as he own voice shook.

"I miss him", he croaked out. She nodded her head, not trusting her own voice.

For the first time that week, Lucas Scott let everything out.

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you


Okay, let me know what you think. Things will pick up from here, but there will be the occasional set back lol.