I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.
Cold in a summer breeze
Yeah, you're shivering
On your bended knee
Still, when you're heart is sore
And the heavens pour
Like a willow bending with the storm, you'll make it
Lucas shut his eyes tighter in hopes to block out the sunlight. He went to bring the sleeping body next to him closer, only to discover that she wasn't there. He sighed tiredly before opening his eyes and facing the ceiling.
His eyes were sore. It felt like his tear ducts were going to explode. He couldn't believe how hard he had cried last night and in front of Peyton. He felt like a fool. Like a weak fool and that's not something that Peyton needed. She was going through a lot and she needed someone who was strong.
She probably got freaked out and went to sleep on the couch after he had fallen asleep. He wouldn't blame her . . . he couldn't blame her. Lucas had always been her strong one. Her saving grace. That fact that he broke down last night most likely made her realize that she wasn't who she thought he was. He heard a small cough and turned to face the closet.
She sat on the floor with her legs tucked under her. Her blonde curls hanging in front of her face as she looked down into something. He raised a brow before quietly pulling the covers off and leaning over the bed. His heart stopped. She was looking through 'the box'.
He took a deep breath and spoke, "Hey you."
Her head snapped around and her gaze met his.
"Hey", she said softly, "how you doing?" she asked even softer as she noticed his still puffy eyes.
"Better", he said as he nodded his head.
"Good", she said firmly.
He crawled to the edge of the bed and spoke again, "So, thanks", she furrowed her brows, "for letting me act like a total girl last night", he joked.
She smiled, "Well, thanks for acting like a total girl in front of me", she teased back, but Lucas could hear the sincerity in her voice.
"Whatchya' got there?" he asked as he walked over and sat next to her.
Her cheeks reddened and he couldn't help but to smile. She was adorable when she was embarrassed.
"I got cold, so I got up to look for a sweatshirt", she began, "I found one", she said as she held up the infamous item, "but it felt too weird to actually put it on", she said quietly.
In the summer she had lived in the 'Keith Scott Body Shop' sweatshirt. It had been with her for a lot of things. Lucas handed it to her the second night they spent together after he found her on the beach again. She had it on the day she called her father and found out that she was adopted. She was wearing the night they made love and the morning after.
"And what are you doing with this?" he asked accusingly as they both broke from their thoughts. She smiled at him sweetly.
"Well, when I was looking for a sweatshirt I happened to find this. I thought you would have thrown it out", she said honestly.
"I would never do that", he said quickly, "I could never do that", he rephrased.
She nodded her head and turned away from him as she felt her cheeks begin to burn.
"So, a lot of this stuff I've all seen before because I gave it to you", she changed the mood in the room, "but there are a few things that I cannot believe you have", she said as she smiled.
"Like what?" he asked as he scooted closer to her.
"Well . . ." she said as she began to look through the things, "what the hell is this?" she asked as she held up the seashell.
Lucas chuckled, "This past summer the beach held a lot of memories for us. After we had our falling out", he furrowed his brows; he knew that wasn't the right word, but it was all he had at the moment, "I went to the beach and took the shell because I wanted to remember all the things we had shared there", he said as he stared into her eyes.
Peyton swallowed hard and let out a breath. "Okay, well what about this?" she asked as she held out the black feather.
"That night, I know I was supposed to be there for Brooke and I guess part of me was, but when you walked in . . ." he was at a loss for words, "you were a beautifully broken angel", he told her quietly as he unconsciously scooted closer.
"Luke", she breathed out.
"Peyt", he mimicked.
She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him so badly, but he was vulnerable right now and she didn't want to do anything until she knew he was positive about it.
She returned her attention to the box in her lap. "What about . . ." she rummaged through the items he had placed in there at one time, "this?" she asked as she pulled at the light blue material. Lucas's eyes widened.
"That's enough", he squeaked out, but it was too late.
"Lucas?" she questioned as she held up the familiar shirt.
"I couldn't just throw it out", he told her honestly, "that day holds a lot of memories, even though I won't ever forget anything that happened, this is my way of making sure I remember what I did", and he told her firmly.
Peyton stared at him in complete awe. He was a much stronger man then she was sure he felt right now.
"Jeez, this thing moves a lot", she joked as she placed a hand over her stomach.
Lucas nodded his head knowingly, "When you were in the hospital, that movement gave me the biggest sense of comfort", he said honestly.
"I never did thank you", she said in a child like voice.
"And you never will", he cut her off. She smiled gratefully. Before she knew what she was doing her body was leaning over to his.
He wanted to kiss her. God, he wanted all of her so badly, but he was scared. Peyton Sawyer was known for promising and panicking and he couldn't handle her panicking now.
"So, school starts today right?" he asked as he stood up from the floor.
She mentally cursed herself, "Yea, are you gunna go?" she asked as she tried to stop reliving the moment they missed.
"Are you gunna be by my side?" he asked seriously.
"Yea", she answered without hesitation.
"Then I'll be there", he said with a smile.
"How about I make us breakfast", she asked with a grin.
Lucas smiled. She was making them breakfast.
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"So, how goes everything on the Scott home front?" Brooke asked as she sat next to Peyton.
The pregnant blonde sighed, "Okay . . . better . . . I don't know", she said as she groaned.
Brooke chuckled. "Peyton, you can't change things over night", she reminded her friend in an attempt to soothe her worries.
"I know, but I just wish there was more that I could do", she said despondently.
"Peyton", the tone in her brunette friend's voice made her eyes meet the others, "look at him", Brooke said as she nodded to the blonde.
He stood across the lunchroom with Skills and Mouth. They were talking about something; the girls assumed basketball. Peyton was about to ask Brooke why exactly she was looking at him, but then she got her answer.
He laughed a genuine laugh.
"Wow", Peyton said out loud.
"He's been doing that all day", Brooke whispered, "smiling and laughing and joking around . . . he's the old Luke", she said with a small smile, "and it's because of you", Peyton turned her head to meet Brooke's.
"I can't take credit for that", Peyton brushed it off.
Brooke scoffed. "P. Sawyer, he didn't offer a glimmer of a smirk the entire week and now after a day with you . . . he's smiling again. That's no coincidence", she said firmly.
Peyton blushed, "It just doesn't feel like enough", she said helplessly.
"What more can you?"
"I talked to Karen last night, well I kind of did", she ignored Brooke's raised brow, "I talked, she laid there", the blonde explained, "and then this morning I woke up expecting her to be somewhere other then the bedroom, but we knocked on the door and she didn't answer."
"It's going to take time", Brooke said as she rubbed her back.
"I know, but this is killing Luke and I wish there was more I could do for him", she said softly as she stared at the blonde.
Brooke kinked an eye brow, "There is more you could do", she said suggestively.
"Brooke", the blonde hissed as she smacked her shoulder.
Brooke laughed before speaking again, "I wasn't talking about that, but if you wanna take it there be my guest", Peyton scoffed in disbelief.
"Then what were you suggesting?"
"Last night I told you that we broke up and that he loved you, but when you get to school today you're not holding hands and all lovey dovey . . . what gives?" Brooke asked bluntly.
Peyton sighed, "I don't wanna rush into things."
"Peyton you're having a baby together", she smiled as she rubbed her best friend's belly, "it's a little late for slowing things down", she teased.
"That's the point!" Peyton exclaimed as she threw her hands up, "we're having a kid. I don't want us to be a couple and be all blissed out just because of that."
"That would not be the reason", Brooke quickly assured her.
"But I would feel like it was."
"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, that boy loves you. He loved you before you got pregnant and he would love you even if you weren't pregnant", she said firmly.
"I'm sorry", Peyton whispered as tears clouded her eyes.
"For what?" Brooke asked somewhat shocked.
"Everything that happened between you guys."
"That was not your fault. He and I . . . we weren't right, it just didn't click anymore", she stuttered out, "I don't know if it ever did", she admitted honestly.
"I'm still sorry", Peyton whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"Don't be", Brooke said as she wiped it away, "besides, I need to be the independent Brooke again, I miss her", she said with a small laugh.
"You're not looking ahead to the next conquest", Peyton teased.
Brooke shook her head with a laugh, "Nah . . . although, it is fun to ogle", she said as a tall, muscular senior walked by.
Peyton laughed and rolled her eyes as she looked out into the lunch crowd. Her eyes locked with Lucas's and she instantly blushed and looked away.
"What was that?" Brooke asked with a knowing smirk.
"Nothing", the blonde muttered.
"That look was not nothing", the brunette pried. Peyton rolled her eyes.
"There's kind of been some tension", she explained carefully.
"Sexual tension", Brooke sang out as she wiggled her eye brows suggestively.
"Yea", Peyton admitted shyly, "is this weird for you? Cause I could talk to someone else about it."
"Like who? Haley doesn't wanna hear about how you wanna jump her best friend and I doubt Nathan wants to know your latest dirty dream", they both laughed, "besides, I'm your best friend P, you should talk to me about this."
Peyton smiled. "Okay well, this morning we kinda had a moment and I wanted to kiss him so badly", she said in frustration, "but I don't want to press him into anything so I backed off. Then we had breakfast and it was sweet. After that we got ready for school. While he was in the bathroom this one", she said while pointing at her stomach accusingly, "decided to kick my bladder around. So, I kinda walked into the bathroom and he was in a towel and he looked so good", she said as she shook her head blissfully.
"Wow", Brooke breathed out.
"I know", Peyton agreed, "I don't know what's gotten into me. I mean I would take him right now if I could", she spoke before thinking.
Brooke chuckled. "Your five months along now right?"
"Yea, almost my sixth", Peyton said in confusion.
"It's all part of the second trimester. Your hormones will be all over the place", Brooke said matter of factly.
"And how do you know this?" Peyton asked in amusement.
"Well, you and Haley are both pregnant and experiencing this. I didn't wanna be left out", she finished with a pout.
"You will never be left out B. Davis."
"Yea, yea . . . what are you doing later?" Brooke asked although she knew the answer.
"Baby shopping", Peyton said meekly, "you could come", she added quickly.
"No thanks", she said as she laughed, "you and Haley are both in the second trimester and I can't exactly deal with you both at the same time", she teased although she was completely serious.
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"How'd the first day back go?" Nathan asked as he pushed the shopping cart down the aisle.
"Not too bad", Lucas mused from the cart next to his brother.
"That's great."
"Yea, Peyton's really helped too", he said adoringly.
Nathan smirked. "How's that working out?"
"Me and Peyton are friends", Lucas said, getting to the point he knew they were heading in.
Nathan held up his hands in defense before placing them back on the cart. "I was just asking, don't get so touchy big brother", Nathan thought before speaking again, "or is it the lack of touchy that has you all riled up?" he smirked again.
"Ha Ha", Lucas said deadpanned as he rammed his cart into Nathan's.
"Hey!" the brunette Scott yelled in protest.
"That's for being a smartass."
Nathan sighed. "Okay, okay", he finally conceded, "Seriously though, how's everything going?"
"Everything could be better", Lucas said truthfully, "but right now its better then I thought it would be", Nathan could hear the genuine shock in his voice.
"Why do you think that?" he asked as he picked up a package of pacifier's.
Lucas shrugged. "I guess that I felt like nothing could help me get over everything that happened. That I would never be able to let it go and that I would always be so angry because of it", he spoke with strong emotion, "but then . . ."
"Peyton woke up", Nathan cut his brother off in a whisper.
Lucas looked over at Nathan with a smile and nodded. "I was really scared I was gunna lose her and the baby", he swallowed hard, "I can't really stand to lose either of them"; Nathan could hear the emotion in his voice.
"You're not loosing either of them", he said firmly, "Peyton won't let that happen."
"You never know", Lucas said gloomily.
"Well with Sawyer I do know", he countered, "you being an ass didn't stop her and a gun shot didn't stop her, nothing else will", he assured the older Scott.
Lucas nodded his head in understanding. He was glad to have his brother back in his life.
"This would be so much easier if I knew what we were having", Lucas said in frustration.
"You don't wanna know?"
"We decided to be surprised, but this still sucks", he laughed as he looked between the pick and blue baby blankets.
"We might find out", Nathan said as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Haley wants to know?"
"I'm going to persuade her", Nathan admitted sheepishly. Lucas chuckled.
"Good luck with that", he said sarcastically.
"Other then the Peyton situation", Nathan let out a low laugh, "how is everything else?" he asked tentatively.
Lucas stared at two boxes of bottles until he decided on the better brand, "My mom's kind of a shell", he said as he tossed the chosen brand in the cart, "I guess that's expected though", he tried to say indifferently.
Nathan sighed. He knew his older brother hadn't had the easiest life. Dan abandoned him. Nathan used to torture him. He had contracted the heart condition their father had. And now he had lost the only man he ever considered a father.
"Luke, it's going to get better", he knew he couldn't promise that, but he wanted to.
"People keep saying that, but I'm waiting for it", he leaned his elbows on the handle of the cart as he continued to push it.
"You need to give it time."
"Peyton talked to my mom last night", he said softly, "she didn't tell me, but I heard her through the walls", he said softly as if Peyton was right behind them.
"It always comes back to Peyton", Nathan mused as he smiled at Lucas.
Lucas blushed. "She's a big part of my life", he said truthfully.
"And you're in love with her", Nathan coughed out.
"What?"
"Don't deny it Luke", Nathan groaned, "it would only make this process longer for no reason", he noticed the look Lucas gave him, "Haley's my wife, eventually I take tips from her", he said casually.
"Fine, I love her. I am completely, undeniably, totally, in love with Peyton Sawyer", he said with a grin that he brother saw through.
"What's wrong?" Nathan asked.
"There's no hope", he said bluntly, "she doesn't feel the same way."
"Okay", Nathan scoffed. He knew for a fact that his best friend felt the same way.
"It's true. Today we almost kissed like five times", he said in amazement, "but the first time we didn't kiss it was because she stopped the moment, almost every time after that I stopped it because I figured she didn't want to", he said dejectedly, "then she walked in on me in the bathroom and I thought she was going to throw up."
"I would too", Nathan snickered.
"I had a towel on, douche", he said as he threw a random object into Nathan's cart.
"Hey!" he yelled out, "Haley will kill me if I come back with something that wasn't on the list", he said seriously.
Lucas snorted before Nathan continued. "Maybe Peyton's just scared", he pointed out.
"Maybe she just doesn't feel the same."
"Maybe she just doesn't wanna rush things", he argued in his best friend's defense.
"Maybe we should stop arguing."
"Just . . . test the waters", Nathan offered support, "let her know that your not clinging to her because of the circumstance" Lucas nodded.
"I will", he said in determination.
"Alright", Nathan smiled.
"What the hell is a Boppy?" Lucas asked as he searched the list.
Nathan shrugged. "What's a Diaper Genie?"
"What were they thinking when they said we should split the lists?" Lucas asked as he and Nathan laughed.
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"So, did you and Haley get the things you guys needed?" Lucas asked as he pulled into the driveway.
"Not all of it, but most of it", she said as she nodded her head, "what about you and Nathan?" she asked accusingly.
"I think we did well", Lucas said thoughtfully as he put the car into park.
"Let's leave it all in the car until tomorrow", Peyton decided before Lucas could open the trunk.
"Good idea", he agreed.
"I'm exhausted", Peyton said through a yawn as she and Lucas walked up the path.
"I can take care of that", he said as he picked her up bridal style.
"Lucas Scott, put me down", she protested half heartedly, "You'll break your back."
"Oh please", he said as he rolled his eyes.
"Luuuke", she laughed as they walked through the kitchen door.
"Peyyyyt", he mimicked.
"Oh my", they heard another voice speak.
"Mom", Lucas gasped out as he carefully placed Peyton on her feet.
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope for the hopeless
There's hope
There's hope
There's hope
Let me know what you think.
