Back into Merlin's head for this chapter.
My laptop has decided that it doesn't want to work anymore which means I am updating on a family computer. This computer is regularly stolen by my sister so there may be times when I update on my phone. If this happens I will update again when I manage to get on a computer. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. RIP my laptop (it was 4 years old so it has done its time).
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x Say x May x I (x) - I managed to retake my maths and got a B overall. Shows what one teacher can do! ;) Glad you are too awesome to fail English because i am no good at it. I have a friend that wants to be a teacher. She enjoyed cleaning the board when asked by a teacher. I think its one of the little perks of the job. Me, nah no good with kids.
Meri Ley - Maybe it will fail in some ways but succeed in others. You will see in the next chapter.
FireyIce107 - I believe I mean allegiance as Merlin is kinda giving himself to Morgana and her cause. He is giving her his loyalty.
NO
Merlin let go of the light and was flung back into the forest. He stumbled as he tried to remain upright.
The fog seemed to have cleared slightly.
Even if he felt in control, he did very little to change the direction that he was going to go in. And now Morgana was going to test him.
How he didn't know but he couldn't allow the evil himself get to the next checkpoint before him. He needed to be in control for the tests.
Merlin let his magic flow through the forest.
It took him a few moments before he found the source. It seemed as thought it was ages away but Merlin hadn't got the time and started to run.
He didn't know what he would try and do the next time. The only thing he managed to change was Arthur's first suspicions by saying Dollop head. If he wasn't dead by the end of this, he would be surprised.
Of course he knew who Emrys is, because he is Emrys.
He hoped that Gaius could keep his secret as he was scared that he couldn't.
The Catha. Merlin had never heard of them before but they must be people of the old religion for Morgana to know of them.
How Merlin wished that Gaius taught him more magic then trying to control it so that he could hide it. If he was taught more, he could find away to stop this.
Even if Merlin always seemed to be one step ahead of the game, Morgana knew so much more than him and it scared him slightly.
The great Emrys only really knows trivial tricks.
Merlin remembered when Morgana placed her nails into his shoulder. He knew it was because of him poisoning her. Even now he could still feel her nails there.
If he could do anything again, it would be that. Merlin didn't enjoy watching Morgana turn into the monster that he made her. But Merlin supposed she was getting her revenge now.
Merlin started to hear her voice in his head.
"You know, there's one thing I don't understand, Merlin."
No she would never understand anything because Merlin wasn't there to help her understand when she needed it most. He wouldn't have lost her if he had helped her when she needed it. Helped her understand when everything seemed so unclear, like this damn forest. He knew what she was going through. Gaius and the bloody dragon didn't know what it was like. Magic was who he was and he had to hide it just like her.
"You're Arthur's servant nothing more. Yet, time and again you've proved yourself willing to lay down your life for him."
Merlin knew that he wasn't just Arthur's servant. He was his sworn protector, his destiny, his brother. Merlin's life didn't matter when it meant that Arthur could bring about a change that will help his people. If Arthur could see magic can be used for good then he would allow it.
Morgana has done it all wrong. Magic cannot return to the land by force but by understanding. The understanding between the two communities was lost in grief, the grief of a king due to his queen. Arthur should never have been born, it wasn't possible. Now Arthur would always have that against him. Merlin would have loved Arthur to know when Morgause told him but he couldn't allow Arthur to kill his own father. Merlin had grown up without knowing his, how could he take that away from another man?
"Why are you so loyal to Arthur?"
Does loyalty need questioning?
Loyalty comes from believing the views of the other person. Merlin believed that Arthur's views were correct and everything was taking its time for a reason. He knew one day that he would have the same loyalty from Arthur as Merlin gave him. Gwen was right. Arthur did respect him. He asked for his advise for most political question and Merlin enjoyed the fact that he trusted him more than his uncle.
"Don't think I don't understand loyalty just because I've got no one left to be loyal to."
Merlin never really believed that she didn't believe in duty or loyalty. Merlin remembered a time when he would consider her to be the most loyal person he knew. Someone who he had hoped to get their loyalty off. But he had. He had her loyalty when she questioned him about what was happening to her. He was the only one that she said it was magic to. She couldn't tell Uther or Arthur as she could have been executed. Would Uther execute his own daughter?
Where had it gone so wrong?
Merlin knew exactly when it went wrong. He should have never listened to Gaius and the dragon. He should have told her. She would have understood why he couldn't tell her before but it would have helped her more than send her to the Druids. She felt safe and Uther slaughtered them all.
Merlin could see the light now and started to run faster and harder towards it. He needed to be in control for these tests.
He continued to run as hard and fast as he was but Merlin didn't seem to be getting anywhere.
A force brought him flying back into a tree.
Merlin gasped as his back collided with the tree and remained winded for a while.
"See Merlin, you should have let yourself be taken by the darkness when Cornelius Sigan asked you to rule with him. You could have been so powerful with both your powers and his."
Merlin had managed to get his breath back now. "It's better to serve a good ..."
But Merlin was interrupted by his evil self. "... Man that to rule with an evil one. Come on Merlin you know that isn't true."
"Yes it is. We both know what Arthur is destined to do." Merlin tried to get up but failed.
"Oh but will he? As we both know 'It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.'" The evil Merlin managed to change his voice to sound just like Arthur's.
"He will. I know he will. He has a good heart."
"You thought that of Morgana once."
Merlin dropped his head. "And look where that's got me." He muttered.
The evil Merlin started to laugh. "Oh this is good. This brilliant." He started to move like an excited child at Christmas. "You are still in love with her or otherwise you would have killed her ages go."
Merlin's head snapped up. "No I don't." Merlin could hardly believe the words himself.
"Oh but you do. Thanks for giving me the edge."
"NO!" Merlin shouted, struggling to get up as the evil version stepped into the light.
The light when out and Merlin was left on his own.
Merlin closed his eyes. This cannot be happening.
