I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.


I love you more than I should

So much more than is good for me

More than is good

Brooke surveyed the room and quickly noticed the lack of a person. Peyton must have noticed the same thing because she took a step towards the back door.

"Let me", Brooke stopped her.

"Brooke, I have to deal with this."

"I know, but you look a little pale. Sit down, take a few breaths, and I'll send Jake in after", she assured her best friend.

"Brooke—"

Before she could say anything else the brunette cut her off, "I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a Lucas and Peyton shocker. Let me talk to him", she asked softly.

Peyton's shoulders slumped and she nodded her head. Brooke smiled faintly and walked in the direction of the backyard. The screen door opened, but Jake made no recognition of it. His head was in his hands and his breathing was uneven.

"This step taken?" she asked as she ventured onto the back porch. Jake shook his head without facing her. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jake beat her to it.

"That happen often?" he asked bitterly.

"Just recently", she answered honestly, "What exactly caused it?"

"She started to cry and I raised my hand to wipe away the tear and he walked in. Perfect timing to seem like something was going to happen."

Brooke nodded her head.

"He's got a lot going on", she wasn't sure why she was defending the blonde ass.

"I heard about that. I wanted to come back so badly, to make sure she was okay", he shook his head.

"Jake, for what it's worth she is really sorry about all of this."

"Sometimes sorry isn't worth a whole lot", he muttered. Brooke sighed.

She wanted to talk to him. She wasn't sure where the sudden feeling had come from, but she didn't want him to sit here and sulk alone. She had taken everything that happened in stride. She was the bigger person and the supportive person. She decided she wanted to sulk a little too.

"I liked Lucas, a lot more then I let on", she said softly, "He was the first boy to ever see me as more then a sexual object. He respected me and he taught me things that no one else would have been able to. I loved him . . . a lot", she whispered into the crisp February air.

"Then how can you sit around and honestly be okay with all of this?" he asked as in frustration.

Brooke shrugged. "Because, as much as I know he loved me, I always knew he loved her a little bit more. It was the certain way he handled himself around her. He was softer and his eyes were brighter then I had ever seen", she took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"But still—"

"She's my best friend, Jake. Lucas makes her happy, like ridiculously happy. The girl freaking giggles", she said in disbelief, she heard Jake chuckle.

"Peyton's had a hard life, Jake. You and I both know that. The only thing I want is for her to be happy."

He nodded his head and continued to stare out into the yard.

She stared at the boy next to her. His face showed signs of the struggles he had to overcome, but it still held the charm of an eighteen year old. She felt her heart stop. His short, light brown hair was shaggy and looked like he hadn't brushed it yet. He turned to face her and she felt a spark start in her toes, jolt through her body, and jumpstart her heart. This was not good.

He was not available, for so many reasons. He was Peyton's ex-boyfriend. He had a daughter that didn't even really know her. He was still in love the Peyton. He was most likely leaving town.

"You're an amazing girl, Brooke Davis."

But he was the answer to her prayers.

------------------------------

"I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle", Peyton said as she sat on the couch.

She had taken Brooke's advice. Her feet were propped up and she had a glass of iced tea in her hands; the sugar was good for her . . . Haley insisted. Her color had returned and the little, colorful dots that flashed in her eyes had disappeared.

"What do you mean?" the other pregnant woman asked.

"It's like when Nathan and I dated . . . only a less extreme version."

"Hey!" the dark haired boy protested.

Peyton and Haley rolled their eyes. Peyton cleared her throat before speaking again.

"He get's mad, we fight, he apologizes, everything is great for a few days and then it happens all over again", she threw her head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Peyton—"

"I don't know how much longer I can do this", she admitted at a whisper.

Nathan and Haley immediately looked at each other. They both thought those words would escape the blondes mouth, but neither were prepared for it.

"Just give him time", Haley was sure she had spoken that line at least fifty times.

"I have given him time . . . plenty of it!" she said helplessly.

Nathan sighed. "Peyton we love you. If this is too much, we support whatever you feel the need to do."

Haley's eyes widened. The thought of Lucas and Peyton breaking up was unfathomable to her. Peyton opened her mouth to speak just as Jake walked back into the room.

"Can Peyton and I have a minute?" he asked softly as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

The married couple nodded and stood to leave. Nathan kissed the top of Peyton's head and Haley squeezed her knee before they retreated to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about all that", Peyton spoke before Jake could even sit.

"It's okay."

"No, its not", Peyton shook her head, "He's been so irrational lately and he's taking it out on everyone . . ."

He watched as she continued to rant. It was obvious that Lucas's actions were affecting her. Brooke said Lucas was holding everything in, but apparently Peyton was too. She hated him at the moment. But despite her harsh words and silent tears another thing was obvious. She was completely in love with Lucas.

"Peyton", he grabbed her hand to stop her ramblings, "when he isn't being an ass", he gritted his teeth, "he makes you happy. All I want is for you to be happy."

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I'm sorry this happened the way it did."

"Don't apologize, you fell in love and you're making a family Peyton. That's nothing to be sorry for", he bravely raised his hand and wiped at her tears.

"I'm still sorry I hurt you."

"It's okay. Well, actually it wasn't, but I had a few words with a pretty wise person and they helped me see the silver lining", he smiled faintly at the thought of Brooke.

"So, what now?"

"I'm going to bring Jenny to see my parent's and then we'll head back to Savannah", Peyton's eyes met his and he could see the sadness she held.

"It's a good thing I didn't drop out of school down there yet", he joked. He was more then glad when a true chuckle escaped her lips.

"Don't think that you weren't important to me okay? Cause you were and I'm so grateful that we had time together."

"Me too, and Jenny was lucky to have you in her life."

"I'm such a screw up", she muttered.

"No, you're not, you just have a heart and emotions and feelings . . . none of which are meant for me", he joked.

She found it less then humorous and he quickly stopped his laughter, "Listen, I know Lucas cares about you, but if he doesn't stop being an ass Nathan will call me and I will come done and kill him."

"I can handle him", she argued and he smiled because he knew that she certainly could do just that, "I'm gunna worry about you, you know?"

"Time will heal my wounds", he spoke with confidence.

"You should probably get going", Peyton said as she glanced out the window. Dusk was looming and she didn't want Jake to drive out that late.

"Pey Pey!" Jenny was wide awake from her nap earlier and more then ready to play.

Jake watched as Peyton smiled and crouched down to scoop the small girl up into her arms. Jenny played with her hair and Peyton made animated faces to go along with whatever toddler talk Jenny was saying. She poked the little girls' stomach and Jenny squealed in laughter. Jake smiled. She was going to be an amazing mother.

And it broke his heart.

------------------------------

He bit his lip in frustration. That outburst was completely uncalled for; he knew that. In the heat of the moment all his logic was thrown out the window. Tons of things piled up and spilled over.

He had left Peyton's and gone to the Rivercourt. His interview was completely disregarded. The phone call he was supposed to make was long forgotten. He made his way back to his bedroom and simply lay on his bed. The song he was listening to had stopped. He was left with his thoughts.

He hadn't heard the door leading to the porch open. He hadn't heard the person tap her foot impatiently. He hadn't even heard her clear her throat.

"I think I've been pretty good at letting the two of you figure everything out", Brooke's raspy voice broke the silence. Lucas opened his mouth, but Brooke's raised hand stopped him.

"She's hurting, a lot and it's not fair to her. She's my best friend and I love her more then pretty much anyone. She's my family . . . she's my sister. She's also pregnant, with you're child. Lucas, if you keep doing this to her, I'm going to have to stop it and I don't think you want me involved."

She watched as he digested the words she had spoken. His face changed from one of complete anger to sadness.

"This isn't who you are. I know that, Nathan and Haley know that. Most importantly, Peyton knows that. She loves you Lucas. She loves you a lot. She'd do anything for you and she has. Don't make her regret that."

She cleared her throat, purposely taking a pause. She spoke again.

"I hope that little scene you pulled earlier is totally out of your system. Because if it happens again, I won't be paying you a visit. Nathan will. You and I both know how it ends when he comes to talk to you."

She walked to the door, at a very slow pace. She prayed he would tell her something that would let her know Lucas was still in there. That the boy her best friend loved was lingering in the shell that they had come to know. Her hope faded when she reached the door without any parting words from the blonde boy. She shook her head and faced him once more.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, so listen good. Stay the hell away from her, Lucas."

He was sure that she was expecting him to say something. Anything. But honestly, he couldn't. What words were there? He had become a person he never imagined being. And he hated it. He was a coward and a fool. He had a million thoughts and voices running through his head.

He held the remote for his C.D. player in his hand, but made no attempt to put on a new song.

I am falling

Say my name and I'll lie in the sound

What is love but whatever my heart needs around

And it needs you too much now


Let me know what you think. Jake's gone, but maybe we'll see him again? You'll just have to keep reading to find out.