(A/N: I wrote three chapters of this yesterday! I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. By the way...didn't Empressstar have three kits? Why have only Redkit and Whitekit been mentioned? Where's this third kit?

He ran away to be free of the stupidity that is Empressstar.

Oh, and thank you Lilacstream99 for that flame! It's the best one I've gotten!)

Everyone give Lilacstream99 a round of applauds. That's an order.

no falmres! falmers r nreds!

Falmers are snow elves that dwell in dwemer ruins. They are assholes you face in Skyrim.

I is very sramt! I is not a troll!)

I know. You're a twoleg. That's worse.

I take offence at that being a twoleg and all.

Chapter 15

The Fist Fite

"I deklare Evilisactuallynice is teh new depuuty of Perfectclan!" Empressstar yowled.

That's against the Warrior Code! Has he had an apprentice? No! He just became a warrior, you can't make him deputy!

Evilisactuallynice bowwed his hed. "Tank u. I promise 2 bee a gud deputy for perfectClan. I will help fight 4 Empressstar so he can untie the 2 clans."

And untie the clans she will.

"Yay" Whitekite cheered. "My dadDdy is teh depudy!"

He's not your dad!

But b4 some1 culd remind the kite Brockentsar was actually her fadder Meanclan attaked!

Whitekit is an idiot, Brokenstar is her dad. But go MeanClan!

MeanClan! Save the other kit!

"We will capture Whitkit!" Hopstar snarled as he plunged in2 teh camp.

Save her and kill Empressstar you useless idiots!

"Never!" Empressstar spat swiping teh ugly tome wit her paw.

Hey now, Hopestar isn't that ugly.

Dumbpaw ran over to his sitter. "u have no rite 2 raise her! Tansyheart and I will raise Whitekit along wit Readkite!"

Well, she's Whitekits mother, so technically she has the rite to raise her own kit.

...I can't believe I'm defending the dumb fleabag.

"u're so mean 2 me Dumbpaw!" the pick leader cryed.

Yes, he's mean but Empressstar was meaner to him.

I approve of the amount of meanness that dumpaw displays.

"Im a warrior now!" the boring brown tim growled hitting his sister wit a paw. "Im Dumbissmart now.

And here I was hoping that Meanclan would give him a decent name.

Dumbissmart is an awful name!

And Nicepaw has been namd Niceisactuallyevil and she's expecting me kites!"

That's even worse than Dumbissmart! What is with all these horrible names?!

Empressglitter recolied in horror. "How cud u half kits with an evil kat?"

IT'S TRUE LOVE! *Hits Empressstar with a banjo*

Dumbissmart scratched teh she-kats sid. "I luv her. She and I will help meanclan defeet perfectClan and restor order 2 the frost!"

I would be more concerned with the forest instead of the frost.

The pink he-cat soodenly wus very angry. "u meanClan cats r 2 mean! Frist Hopstar attacks my Clan then Niceisactuallyevil steals Redkite den Tansyheart won't let me half him bak and know u're trying to steel me daughter and get rid of my!"

MeanClan is a true hero, but they are also becoming incompetent. especially with naming.

"u're a horrible leeder!" Dumbissmart grwoled striking her sid.

That we can agree on.

"I AM NOT!" Den she flipped him over and scrachted his belly. His eyes widdened and he strugled 2 his feet fleaing the camp.

Was it a scratch or a Scourge Scratch?

He would be dead if it was a Scourge Scratch.

"I'll bee back!" he cried as he ran of.

You better be! I'm betting two squirrels on you beating Empressstar! I can't lose the bet to Lunarmoon!

Hopetsar saw dat Dumbissmart left and he stopped fighting. "u may have one this fight but we wil retrun. Meanclan will not rest until u r overthrewn!"

Why is he ending it because Dumbissmart left? Is he like their Lionblaze?

But then Empresspaw realzed something bad. It wus very bad 2 relize atdhis moment. he wus expecting Evilisactuallynices kits!

That was...unnaturally fast. How long have you guys been mates?!

Not long enough for her to give birth.

(A/N: Oh no! More kits! Don't they realize they're going to be born in the middle of a war?

That's never stopped anyone before.

He's got a point.

Flame away!)

We will.