Chp 14 - Man Stuff
A/N: I'm back... heheheheh...
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it's as simple as shit.
Here it goes..."YOU BURNT DOWN MY BUILDING 'CAUSE HE BROKE UP WITH YOU!" Tsunade screamed furiously.
Kabuto looked depressed, Orochimaru shoved his fingers into his ears and everyone else sweat dropped.
Gai and Iruka had returned with Orochimaru and the 'answers' they were supposed to get and Tsunade was not pleased.
"Um…Tsunade…" Anko said quietly, "Perhaps you should just let it go…after all…it was an accident and no one was killed."
"I WILL FRIGGIN KICK YOUR ASSES!" Tsunade screeched, cracking some of the windows in her new temporary office.
"Um…you weren't this angry before…why should you be now?" Kakashi asked shaking his head, as his ears were ringing.
"Heh…I wasn't one hundred percent sure it was Kabuto and Orochimaru's fault before…but now they've admitted it I CAN SHOW THE WRATH OF MY ANGER!"
Iruka, Anko, Kakashi and Gai ran out of the room.
BOOM!
Kabuto flew out of the room with his arms twisted under his legs and Orochimaru was flung out with his tongue strangling himself.
Tsunade came out dusting off her hands and said, "For now…I'll let you off with ten thousand hours of community service!" and then she went back in her temporary office and slammed the door.
"Um…that looks painful…" Kakashi said bringing out his 'Icha Icha Paradise' and vanishing through a window.
Iruka and Anko looked ruefully at Kabuto and Orochimaru, whilst Gai struck another weird pose and bellowed, "Punishment Prevails!" and vanished.
"Um…are you okay?" Anko whispered.
"Ow…" Kabuto grumbled, as he tried to move his arms, but then there was a freakish cracking noise and Kabuto was frozen in agony, "YAOW!"
"Oh my!" Ayame said, running over to Kabuto, "You're hurt AGAIN!"
Orochimaru smirked and tried to speak, even though his tongue was strangling him, "Hwa! Hwa! Choo deswerve thwat!"
Anko watched curiously as Ayame gently grabbed Kabuto's arms and twisted them back into a normal position.
"There you go…Kabuto-kun!" She said happily, as Kabuto smiled and swung his arms around.
"Still kind of aches…" Kabuto muttered.
"Whad abowd mwee?" Orochimaru mumbled sadly.
"Um…sorry, I don't do tongues!" Ayame said quickly and then she turned to Kabuto, "If you come to my clinic…I can give you a massage for those aching shoulders…"
Ayame and Kabuto went away and left Orochimaru, wrestling angrily with his own tongue.
"Dwan it…stupeed freckin unhepful pweeple!" Orochimaru muttered.
"Um…Did you see that?" Anko said worriedly.
"Yeah…Orochimaru's tongue is killing himself!" Iruka chuckled.
"No!" Anko turned to Iruka and whispered, "Ayame likes Kabuto…if Kakashi finds out…he'll be heart broken!"
Iruka sighed, "But they broke up…he should be over it by now and besides…Kakashi likes that Kalita…"
"Looks can be deceiving! He's still hurting inside…you should have seen the sad way he looked at Ayame earlier!"
Iruka and Anko left the Hokage's temporary building (it was just an old bunch of office flats) and went back to Iruka's place so that Anko could cook him a nice romantic supper and feed it to him since his fingers were still indisposed of.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Iruka opened the door.
"Um…Hi!"
"Yo! Iruka!"
"Iruka."
"Iruka-kun!"
Gai, Kakashi, Gekkou and Genma came bursting through the door.
"Um…Hi…" Iruka mumbled as everyone crowded into his living room.
"Iruka-baby! Supper is…" Anko frowned, "What are YOU ALL doing here!"
"Oops! We did not know your woman would be here!" Gai said plonking himself into an armchair awkwardly.
"You don't mind do you?" Genma asked grumpily plonking himself in the other armchair.
Gekkou sat on the floor and Kakashi went and patted Iruka on the back.
"Um…Iruka…we really need to talk to you in private…" Kakashi whispered.
"W-Why?" Iruka replied, as Anko frowned harder and stomped back into the kitchen.
"It's to do with some um… 'Man stuff'."
"Man stuff?" Iruka raised an eyebrow, "Can't you just tell me then?"
"Not until Anko's gone." Kakashi shrugged, "Her ears are too sensitive for this sort of thing."
Iruka shuffled into the kitchen, "Um…Anko-sama…arigato for making me supper…"
Anko smiled, "No problem…enjoy it…"
"Um…gomen…but maybe you should go home?"
Anko's mouth twitched, "Why?"
"I dunno…the guys wanna tell me something…but they said it's too sensitive for your ears…um."
"Sensitive?" Anko smirked" I'll show THEM sensitive!"
Iruka gulped, Anko had prepared what looked like a romantic dinner…um…supper for two and now the gatecrashers in his living room were going to get kick assed.
"GET OUT!" Anko shrieked, "You're ruining out romantic night!"
The guys froze.
Gai stood up, "We're terribly sorry, I'll go now…"
Kakashi stepped in front of Gai, "No, we need to tell Iruka important guy things remember!"
"Oh yeah…" Gai mumbled.
"Well hurry up and just tell him!" Anko demanded.
"Um…um…You SURE you wish to know Anko?" Gai said nervously.
"FOR PETES SAKE! SAY IT!" Anko screamed.
"Um…Iruka…" Kakashi said sadly, "You…um…"
"You have to go out with Orochimaru!" Genma screamed exasperatedly.
"WHAAAAAAT!" Anko shrieked grabbed Gai by the collar of his clothes (he was the nearest…poor Gai…).
Anko shook Gai backwards and forwards, "Why the hell! WHAT the hell!"
"Um…please…Anko…get…a…grip…" Gai said in between each jerk, he seemed unusually…um…jiggly.
"Have you gained weight!" Anko asked, poking Gai in the gut.
Gekkou sighed, "Anko, Iruka…you have to help us…"
Genma was seriously agitated, "Iruka's GOT TO go out with that bastard, or Orochimaru will never take these away!"
"What away?" Iruka asked curiously.
"THESE!" Gai sobbed, opening his jacket and pulling down his jump suit.
"Oh…my…God…" Anko muttered, before going woozy and passing out on the floor.
Iruka stared and said, "…"
"Well…are you gonna help us…Iruka-kun?" Kakashi asked softly.
Iruka's eyes were frozen wide open and his jaw dropped open. Gai's chest just wasn't normal, they seemed rather filled out and at least a size D.
Iruka broke into hysteria, "Haha you HAHAHA got HAHA HUGE HAHA TITZ!"
Gai frowned and put his clothes back on.
"Oi! Iruka! SHUT UP!" Genma snarled, a vein pulsing on his forehead.
"I-I haha CAN'T!"
Kakashi's one visible eye blinked, "Iruka…it's 'big booby no jutsu'…"
"HAHAHA! BIG HAHA BOOBY HAHAHA! NO JUTSU!"
The guy's sweat dropped, except for Kakashi, who was watching Iruka intently.
"Why did you say that?" Genma said through gritted teeth, "It only made him laugh HARDER!"
"Ssh…watch…" Kakashi said calmly as Iruka turned red in the face.
And sure enough, about ten seconds later, Iruka stopped laughing and was gasping for breath instead.
"Ha…Oh my God…You have tits!" Iruka said, drawing in a large breath.
"Right…now…" Kakashi marched up to Iruka who was slouched in an armchair, "…you date Orochimaru…or he won't remove this jutsu."
"You ALL have tits!" Iruka asked curiously, and then joked, "Can I see them?"
Genma's vein exploded and he ran over and tried to smother Iruka in his own cushions.
"Now, now, Genma…that ain't gonna make Iruka help us is it?" Gekkou said, frowning.
Genma went and pouted in the other armchair and Gai dropped onto his knees with tears in his eyes.
"Iruka-kun…please…the beautiful Gai sensei isn't meant to have boobs!" Gai mumbled.
Iruka sighed, "Okay, I'll date Orochimaru…"
Gai sensei jumped up and down and his chest wobbled, Kakashi gagged, Gekkou turned green and Iruka turned away blushing.
"GAI GET A BRA!" Genma yelled.
Yeah so...I dunno...what was that all about hmm? No flames...just lurrrrve...burp I mean reveiws yeah...
xX Pepsi Dragon Xx
