This chapter has a little bit of M in it but I'm hesitant to change the rating on the entire story so I'm just going to warn you right now that things get a little bit steamy.
Enjoy!
The sound of Jane flipping the lock on her front door is the sound that broke Maura's resolve. From the moment Jane had told her she loved her and Maura said those words in return, she had been fighting the urge to touch Jane's bare body.
Since Maura still was holding on to Jane's hand, she tugged on the brunette's arm until Jane entered her personal space. Within a second, Maura had her body pressed against Jane's and was kissing her frantically. Her arms wrapped around Jane's neck while Jane wrapped hers around Maura's waist and desperately tried to pull her closer.
"Let's go upstairs," Maura whispered in Jane's ear, her breath coming in short gasps as desire threatened to overtake her brain.
Jane simply nodded her head and, when Maura made no effort to separate herself from Jane, slid her hands down to the back of Maura's thighs and lifted, groaning softly as Maura wrapped her legs around Jane. Miraculously Jane managed to walk them up the stairs and into Maura's bedroom without causing either of them harm. Jane laid Maura on the bed and sighed when she saw the sight before her.
"You are so gorgeous," Jane breathed as she knelt over Maura and bent down to take the brooch from her hair and let Maura's hair leave the ponytail it had been in. "It's almost unfair how gorgeous you are," Jane laughed as she traced the top of Maura's dress where her deep breaths caused her breasts to appeal to Jane ever more than before.
"You're one to talk," Maura smiled as she untucked Jane's blouse from her pants and began to quickly unbutton it, smiling when she pushed it off Jane's shoulders and was met with smooth skin and firm abs.
Jane closed her eyes and allowed herself to revel in the soft hands Maura was running over her stomach and just below her bra. But soon Maura's hands weren't enough. She wanted to touch Maura like she was touching Jane.
She crashed her lips against Maura's, grinning at the gasp of surprise that Maura let escape. Jane's hands searched the dress for a zipper, her heart skipping a beat when she felt it on the side of the dress and began to pull it down, eager to see Maura lying beneath her without it on. When she finished unzipping the zipper, Maura tugged her skirt up so Jane could pull her dress off completely, leaving her in just her nude colored bra and panties.
"You're overdressed, detective," Maura murmured as she felt around for Jane's belt and, once finding it, undid it quickly and began to unbutton Jane's slacks. Jane allowed Maura to push her slacks down as far as she could before standing up to quickly kick them off. As she stood, she was able to look at Maura's body fully: her face was flushed, her chest heaving, and her legs parted slightly in anticipation.
The gravity of the situation hit Jane like a bullet.
It wasn't the idea of finally being able to make love with Maura that hit Jane. It was the idea that she was finally going to make love with Maura while Maura couldn't see.
"Shit," Jane sighed aloud.
"Don't have a condom?" Maura joked, remembering that Jane had told her she often told men that she didn't have condoms if they got to her bedroom and she was not feeling up for sex.
"I can't do this, Maura," Jane said softly, hating herself for stopping her and Maura's actions.
"What?" Maura asked, pushing herself into a sitting position and trying to locate where Jane was. "Jane, that was a joke. Two women making love don't need a condom."
"I know that, Maura," Jane said with a soft laugh. "It's just…You're blind."
"Yes," Maura agreed. "That is not totally new information. And I can assure you that, even without my vision, I will be an exceptional lover," Maura stated.
"Oh, I have no doubts that you're gonna be great in bed," Jane laughed as she sat on the edge of the bed, her back to Maura.
"Then what's the matter?" Maura asked, rising to her knees and moving to kneel behind Jane, placing a soft hand on her shoulder. Jane reached up to cover Maura's hand with her own, giving it a soft squeeze.
"When we do this, I want you to be able to enjoy it fully," Jane whispered. "With all of your senses."
"Jane," Maura said softly. "I didn't need to see to enjoy the past few days with you fully so why is this any different?"
"I just…I dunno," Jane admitted.
Maura remained silent, knowing that Jane needed time to organize her thoughts before speaking them out loud, something she only did when she was embarrassed of her thoughts.
"I want you to see me come undone," Jane said so softly that Maura almost missed it. "I want you to see me oogling at your body because then you'll raise an eyebrow and give me that 'come hither,' look you have. I want you to see my hands on your body and see your hands on mine. I want you to appreciate my body like no one ever has and let me do the same to you…" Jane trailed off.
"Look at me, Jane," Maura commanded softly. When Jane turned her body to face Maura, the blonde pressed a soft kiss to Jane's lips. "If that is what you want, then I will respect your desires."
"Really?" Jane asked softly.
"Of course," Maura smiled. "But what if I don't get my eyesight back?" she asked, her smile falling. "I know you don't want to think that I will be blind forever but in case I am, are we going to be celibate forever?"
"A week," Jane said quickly. "If your eyesight isn't back in one week, then I will be all yours," she added in explanation.
"What time is it?" Maura asked with a smile.
Puzzled at Maura's seemingly random question, Jane looked at the alarm clock on Maura's bedside table. "It's 10:17," she told Maura.
"Next Saturday at exactly 10:17pm," Maura said, moving her head down to bite Jane's earlobe teasingly, "you are all mine."
Although Jane and Maura agreed that sex would wait until Maura got her sight back or the following Saturday, they spent the better part of their night kissing each other deeply while their hands studied each other's bodies with only soft undergarments covering them.
Jane's hands softly cupped Maura's breasts, running her fingers over the lace and feeling a pair of breasts other than her own for the first time as her tongue battled with Maura's in an epic duel.
Maura let her hands travel to grip Jane's ass, massaging the firm muscles that she found as Jane placed hot, open mouthed kisses down her neck.
They finally fell into a slumber, both with swollen and tingling lips and eagerly awaiting their date for the following Saturday.
Maura was the first to awake the next morning as usual yet when she opened her eyes, something was unusual.
"Jane," Maura said, shaking the shoulder of the sleeping woman next to her. "Jane, please wake up."
"I'm up," Jane groaned as she rubbed her eyes and turned to look at Maura. "What's wrong?"
"I can see!" Maura smiled.
"What?" Jane exclaimed, shooting up into a sitting position and grabbing Maura by the shoulders.
"Well, I can see silhouettes of certain things like the alarm clock and your body. Shadows only, no details, but that is an improvement, right?"
"Maura, that's amazing. A huge sign that you might get full sight back!" Jane said, laughing at Maura pressed her lips to Jane's quickly.
"I am going to call Dr. Gao," Maura said as she stood up next to the bed and stretched. "Let him know about the improvement. And then we are going to celebrate," she said with a smirk.
Jane laughed as Maura walked from her room, phone in hand as she went to call the ophthalmologist who was working on her case. Jane was thrilled at the thought that Maura might really get her vision back yet also felt fear rise up in her stomach. Before Jane had the ability to work through her fear or tell herself she was being ridiculous, Maura came back into the room.
"He was in with a client so I just left him a message," Maura said as she crawled back onto the bed and pulled Jane's body flush against hers. "I love you," Maura grinned as she kissed Jane softly.
"Mmm," Jane hummed as Maura's hands traced the tops of her breasts with feather light touches. "You're alright," she added with a shrug.
"Jane!" Maura gasped, using her other hand to pinch the side of Jane's stomach.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Jane laughed. "You know I love you. I am the one who said it first, right?"
"Yes," Maura smiled as she nuzzled against Jane. "Is it bad that I am not looking forward to Sunday dinner?" she murmured.
"Depends," Jane replied. "Are you not looking forward to it because you're sick of my crazy family or because you'd prefer to spend all day in bed with me?"
"The latter," Maura said with a smile.
"Maybe tomorrow," Jane suggested. "Ma will be at work so we won't have to worry about interruptions. Speaking of which, we should probably get up and ready. Since Korsak and Frost are coming, Ma is probably gonna start getting ready hours ahead of time because that's what she does. Plus it's supposed to be sunny so the Rizzoli Family Football League is gonna make its season debut, which means everyone else is gonna get here earlier, too."
"Sounds like today is going to be hectic," Maura smiled against Jane's neck, feeling the brunette's fingers run through her hair.
"Just another day in the Rizzoli family," Jane laughed. "Might wanna get used to it if you're gonna be my girlfriend," she teased as she sat up and stretched her arms over her head. "How about you hop in the shower first while I go figure out your coffee maker? That way by the time you're out of the shower, I've maybe figured out how to brew a cup for you."
Jane walked into Maura's house from the backyard, her breathing heavy as she walked right to the kitchen where she began to gulp down a glass of water.
"Gimme 20 minutes to recover and we'll start another game," Frankie groaned as he dragged himself into the house and plopped onto Maura's couch, his body sore from Jane's recent tackle.
"When are you gonna realize that I will always kick your ass, Frankie?" Jane laughed after finishing the entire glass in one go. "But if you wanna try again, I will gladly whop ya again!"
"You will do no such thing," Angela chided as she walked back into the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes so you two are going to clean up and be at the table in 9."
"Yes, ma," the two Rizzoli children grumbled. Jane began to wash her hands at the kitchen sink while Frankie meandered to the bathroom. Jane smiled as she watched Maura have an animated conversation with Cavanaugh, who had become a semi-regular at Sunday dinners. She stood at the sink, a smile on her face as she watched her girlfriend laugh at something the lieutenant said.
"Soooo," Frost said as he appeared next to Jane in the kitchen. "Whatcha lookin' at?" he teased.
"The eighth wonder of the world," Jane laughed as she began to dry her hands on a dish towel. "What?" she asked when she saw the smug look on Frost's face.
"I'm just trying to figure out which one of you ladies wears the strap on."
"Come on, Frost!" Jane groaned, smacking her partner's shoulder. "Why ya gotta think like that, man?"
"Jane, are you forgetting that I've got lesbian moms?" he laughed. "I'm totally used to talking about this sorta stuff."
"Yeah, well I'm not," Jane retorted. "Plus," she said as she turned away from Frost to look back at Maura, "we haven't actually had sex yet."
"Hold up," Frost said as he held a hand in the air. "You're trying to tell me that you and the doc have been in this house together since Wednesday night and you haven't done the deed?"
"That is what I'm telling you," Jane said. "Contrary to what you men might think, not all relationships have to have sex within the first 5 days."
"That's a shame," Frost said as he shook his head. "You and the doc coulda been having a heck of a lot more fun if you'd get it on."
"Pig," Jane laughed. "Besides, just cause we haven't had sex yet doesn't mean we haven't had some fun," she stated. "I just wanted to wait for her to get her sight back before taking that leap."
"How romantic," Frost teased, raising his voice an octave and batting his eyelashes.
"Ass," Jane muttered as she moved to grab a beer from the fridge.
"Hey," Frost said, putting a hand on Jane's arm as she held the fridge open. "You know I'm kidding. I'm glad you and the doc are together and that you're doing things at a pace that you're happy with. Really."
"Thanks, Frost," Jane said with a smile. "But I'm still not ever gonna tell you which one of us wears the strap on," she added with a laugh as she walked towards the dining room table.
"I've seen that look before," Korsak said as he stepped into the kitchen to refill his glass with water and saw Jane leaning with her back against the sink and biting her nails.
"Huh?" Jane asked, turning her head slowly to look at her former partner.
"I said that I've seen that look on your face before," Korsak repeated as he leaned against the counter across from Jane. "Something is bothering you."
"It's nothing," Jane said as she shook her head, hoping to erase the thoughts in her mind like an etch-a-sketch.
"Jane," Korsak said, raising his eyebrows to let her know that he wasn't buying her lie.
"Aw, what the heck," Jane said sarcastically. "You've already seen me begging for help with scalpels stuck through my hands, might as well let you see me weak another time."
"Jane," Korsak said again, this time softer as he saw the hurt in Jane's eyes. "You know I don't think you're weak."
"Maura got some of her sight back today," Jane said simply.
"She was talking about that at dinner. She can see shadows now. Which means that getting her vision back completely is looking like a real possibility," Korsak stated. "What's that gotta do with you being weak?"
"I'm scared that she's gonna get her vision back and realize that I'm still me and that she can do better," Jane said, keeping her eyes lowered to the floor. She knew if she made eye contact with her former partner then the tears would appear.
"What do you mean that you're still you?" Korsak asked, baffled as to how Jane could be thinking like this. He knew that she struggled with doubt but never had he ever seen her like this.
"That she can do so much better than me," Jane said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She's gonna get her sight back and realize that she only thought she loved me. That she was just in a raw emotional state and needed someone to care for her and that her brain tricked her into thinking I was good enough."
"You and I both know that you're talking crazy right now," Korsak said, his heart breaking as he saw his former partner thinking so little of herself. "Maura loves you and I'm pretty sure she has for a while. Sure, her losing her vision was what pushed her into your arms but she would have ended up in your arms even with her sight."
"I dunno," Jane said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Oh, Jane," Korsak breathed.
"Don't 'oh, Jane' me, Korsak," Jane said, snapping her head up to look into his eyes. "You know that I'm telling the truth. Maura is incredible in so many ways and the minute she gets her vision back she is going to come to her senses and realize that this has all just been her emotions getting the best of her and that I'm not good enough."
A flurry of movement that was the same color of Maura's dress caught Jane's attention. She turned her head to see Maura walking quickly away from the kitchen, a hand over her mouth.
"Shit," Jane said, clenching her eyes shut and wishing she had noticed Maura was listening to her rant to Korsak. "I suck," she muttered.
"Go find her," Korsak said softly. "Get your fears out in the open and let her tell you herself that you're being ridiculous."
"I can't," Jane said. "I mean, she just heard my fears and went running off."
"No," Korsak correct. "She heard you saying that you think she's just being too emotional, that she is vain enough to leave a woman she's known for years for someone she isn't nearly as close to, and that she isn't thinking right."
"Damn it," Jane said, realizing how her rant must have sounded to Maura. "Did you see which way she went?"
Before Korsak could reply, a crash came from upstairs followed by a strangled sob.
"Maura!" Jane called, immediately darting from the kitchen and towards the stairs, taking them two at a time until she reached the top landing. "Maura?" she called again, listening for any sounds. She heard someone moving in Maura's home office and jogged to the door, opening it quickly to see Maura sitting on the floor rubbing at her shoulder, pain obvious on her face.
Jane was kneeling at her side in seconds, reaching out to place a gentle touch to Maura's arm.
"Don't touch me," Maura said, pulling her arm away from Jane, a soft cry of pain leaving her lips as she moved her shoulder.
"I am so sorry, Maura," Jane said sincerely. "Please don't hate me."
"Why did you say those things, Jane?" Maura asked, still not looking in Jane's direction. "About me not really loving you and only acting the way I've been acting because I'm in a raw emotional state?"
"Because I'm a giant idiot," Jane confessed. "And I have this habit of getting close to people and then doubting myself which pushes them away," she added.
"I have cared about you as more than a friend for quite some time, Jane," Maura said as she turned to face where Jane was sitting. "I know so many things about you and you know so many things about me that entering a romantic relationship seemed to be inevitable. Losing my vision was the action that set of a Rube-Goldberg machine that has been in the making for years."
"I love you so much, Maura," was all Jane could say.
"How can I make you believe that I love you just as much as you love me?" Maura questioned, desperate to understand how she could help her love realize that she was serious.
"Let me look at your shoulder and make sure it's not in need of medical attention?" Jane questioned softly.
"What else?" Maura asked, taking her hand from her sore shoulder and turning her body so Jane had access to the injured part of her body.
"I dunno," Jane sighed as she placed a gentle kiss to Maura's shoulder after seeing that it looked as though her joints were still in place.
"Well, when you figure out, let me know," Maura said softly. "Until then, I will be charging you 25 cents every time you doubt yourself or my love for you."
"And if I don't have 25 cents?" Jane inquired, a soft smile on her lips.
"I suppose 5 kisses will suffice."
I know some of you want smutty time between Jane and Maura and might be disappointed that they stopped but I promise you that we will get smutty times.
I am aware that Jane might seem a bit whiney/out of character while talking with Korsak but I really wanted to have them have a discussion. Korsak saw Jane at her weakest when Hoyt stabbed her hands and, although Jane hates that he saw that, I feel that they share a special bond because of that.
I will be going out of town tomorrow in the late morning (around 11am) and will be away until Saturday night because my sister is graduating with her Master's degree so my family is going to drive to see her ceremony. I don't think I will bring my laptop since I'm not sure if the hotel has free WiFi so if I don't update until Sunday evening or Monday, don't freak out!
