Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.


This is the chapter that you will probably all want to kill me over. When I first started this story, I wanted it to be purely Axel and Roxas. And then I got this one plot idea and it wouldn't leave me alone, so I took the idea and ran with it.


Angel in Disguise

11. Roxas: Falling

I wish that I hadn't run away that morning. I should have stayed and been supportive of my brother and Riku. Because then I wouldn't have had to go back and try to make things right again. I had screwed up and asking for Sora and Riku's forgiveness wasn't going to be easy.

It was Axel who convinced me that I had to go back home and face Sora and Riku. He told me that I shouldn't be afraid of being just like Sora, since we were entirely different people.

And then he kissed me.

That bastard kissed me right then and there on the sidewalk with no warning at all! I took a step away from him and demanded to know why he did that. He told me that he was testing me. I didn't really see the point of it at first and then he explained it so that I would understand and the only thing I could say was, "Kiss me again?"

So he did.

It was after that that I realized for the first time that Axel had been honestly flirting with me ever since that day in the hospital. I asked him why, but he didn't give me a straight answer. I wish now that I had remained oblivious to his flirting. Maybe it would hurt less.

After our day on the main land, Axel drove me home in his old car and gave me a goodnight kiss before he let me out of the car. I didn't protest, although I did wish that he would go inside with me to help me face Sora and Riku. When I asked him to go inside with me, he shook his head and told me that it was something I needed to do on my own.

I walked into the house, dreading the confrontation that was coming. They weren't downstairs waiting like I figured they would be, but Kairi was and she looked pissed off. I knew I had to speak before she had a chance to start yelling.

"Kairi, before you yell at me, let me say that I know it was stupid and heartless of me to run off." I said quickly. "I know I should have stayed and given my support and I'm really sorry that I didn't. Please don't yell at me.

Kairi crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "I should yell at you, but I won't. And I'm not the one you need to apologize to. Sora and Riku are upstairs in Sora's room. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going home." Without another word, she brushed right past me and left the house.

I looked over at the stairs and gulped before I walked over to them and slowly began to ascend them. I reached the top all too soon and slowly made my way down the hall to Sora's room. I paused outside of the cracked door and hoped they weren't doing anything that I didn't want to see.

I opened the door a little wider and looked in. I was relieved to see them cuddled up on the bed together, fully clothed. I knocked on the door to get their attention and they both looked up at me at the exact same time. They had been waiting for me.

"Roxas?" Sora asked. He sounded exhausted.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's me."

"What do you want?" Riku asked coldly.

'For you to stop cuddling my baby brother' was one thought that popped into my head, but I didn't dare say that out loud. "I want to apologize to both of you." I said honestly. "I- I shouldn't have run away like that." It was so much harder to apologize to Riku and Sora than it was to apologize to Kairi. Probably because I knew that if I paused even once when I was talking to Kairi then she wouldn't hesitate to yell at me. Sora and Riku would stay quiet until I finished.

"It was stupid of me to run away right after you told me. There's no excuse for doing something like that. I just… I panicked." I looked pleadingly at Sora, hoping that he would understand even a little. "I was afraid. Please forgive me?"

Sora remained silent for a moment and then he nodded. "You came back and you apologized. We forgive you for running, don't we Riku?" He looked to his boyfriend, who sighed and then nodded.

"Yeah, we forgive you." Riku muttered. "Now go away so we can get some sleep."

I nodded and shut the door so I wouldn't have to see Riku cuddle with Sora anymore. The image was burned into my head as it was. I just knew that I was going to have nightmares about it that night.


The day after that is a day that I will never forget. I got up early for once and was strangely wide awake. I had never woken up and not spent the next hour in a daze. I should have known then that something was very, very wrong.

I went downstairs where I found Sora eating some kind of chocolaty cereal while Riku was drinking coffee. He was almost as hard to wake up in the mornings as I was.

I poured myself a glass of orange juice and managed not to spill it everywhere for once. As I was getting ready to take a drink, the phone rang. I wondered who was calling at seven in the morning as I walked over and picked up the phone. I noticed that Sora looked at me in surprise. It was probably because I was alert enough to have actually noticed that the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

I was surprised to hear that it was Demyx who was calling me. He sounded really upset about something and his words were unintelligible, so I tried to get him to calm down and speak rationally. Once he did, I regretted it.

"Axel's in the hospital, Roxas. He's dying."

Simultaneously, the phone and my glass of orange juice slipped from my hands and fell to the ground. The glass shattered into pieces and the orange juice spilled everywhere, while the phone skittered across the floor. I can vaguely remember Sora and Riku running over to me as I fell to my knees in the glass and started crying. I'm sure I'll have scars from the glass.

All I could think about - all I could hear - were those six words repeating over and over again in my head. I was numb to everything else.


I don't know how Sora and Riku got me to the hospital. I don't remember at all. It was like when Sora was in there, only ten times worse.

It hadn't really sunk in right then, even when I saw Axel on the hospital bed looking even weaker and more frail than when I very first met him. Demyx was coming in and out of the room, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. At one point Axel weakly laughed and called him a sissy for crying so much, which resulted in Demyx running out of the room as he started bawling.

I even saw Larxene crying. Tall, strong Larxene who I had never seen project any true emotions other than joy when she'd laugh at Demyx when he'd trip or fall or when one of the others guys would say or do something stupid.

That was my breaking point. I sat down in my chair and sobbed for what felt like hours before Squall arrived and carried me out to his van and drove me out to his and Cloud's and Zack and Aerith's house. I didn't once complain. I didn't have the strength to.

I don't really remember how long I stayed with Cloud and Squall. Sora told me that I was there for two days before they let me go back to the hospital. By that time I was beginning to think more clearly, so I remember what happened at the hospital very clearly.

That day I was the only one in the room with Axel. Larxene had dragged Demyx home to lock him up in his room hoping that he would sleep. He hadn't slept since they took Axel to the hospital. I was sitting in the chair beside Axel's bed while he slept, trying not to think about Axel dying.

"Hey, Roxas?"

I nearly jumped out of my chair when he spoke to me. I thought he was asleep!

"Y-yeah?" I asked. My voice was horribly hoarse and I was trying my best to not let it break up.

Axel turned his head to look at me. "Could you do me a favor and light that candle?" He asked. "The nurses blow it out whenever they come in here, no matter that I tell them I want it lit." He weakly chuckled. "I think they're afraid I'll try to light myself on fire or something."

I hesitated for a moment when he said that, wondering if that was his plan.

"I'm not going to light myself on fire, Roxas." Axel said. "I'm not that dumb."

I bit back a retort as I got up, walked around to the other side of the bed, and picked up the box of matches that was laying on the table, wishing that he had a lighter instead. I always ended up burning myself when I used matched. I cautiously struck the match and was relieved and surprised when I didn't burn myself. I quickly lit the candle, which looked like it was about ready to be replaced by a new one, if the way the wick was down to a centimeter and if the way wax was tumbling over the holder was any indication. Then I shook out the match and deposited it in the ash tray with the rest of the used matches.

"My angel." Axel said with a weak chuckle.

"I'm no angel, Axel." I said as I walked back over to my chair and sat down. I reached out with one hand to hold his, which made him smile. "If anything," I whispered as tears stung at my eyes. "If anything, you are my angel."

Axel squeezed my hand. "Maybe… it goes both ways for us." He whispered back. "You are my angel; my light."

"And you are my angel; my undying flame." I whispered, not caring about how cheesy that sounded. It made Axel smile, and that's all that mattered.

"I am, aren't I?" He asked softly. "The Flurry of Dancing Flames. Yeah, that's me alright." He closed his eyes with a sigh. "And you… you are the key… the Key of Destiny." He whispered.

On the table, the candle flame flickered.

"Axel, I love you." I said suddenly. I couldn't help it. I had to let him know that. "I want you to know that." My throat closed up after I said that and tears poured freely down my face. I didn't care.

The flame flickered again and snapped, most likely sending a spark into the air.

"Love you too, Roxas." Axel murmured.

The candle flame flickered for a final time and then died just as Axel took his last breath.

My mind went numb again, although that time I could tell what was going on around me. The nurses came rushing in when the machine monitoring Axel's heart rate flat lined.

I couldn't move. I sat there and looked at Axel's body, wishing that he would move. That he would sit up with a grin on his face and ask me if I wanted to go to the Moon Café later. He didn't, of course.

And then Naminé, dear sweet Naminé, came into the room and helped me to my feet and led me out of there. She didn't even mind me crying all over her dress.

I don't know what I would have done without her or Sora or Squall and Leon or Kairi or even Riku. I just know I would have fallen apart.


End Chapter