Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.


Angel in Disguise

12. Collision

That was all just four months ago.

It's amazing, isn't it? What can happen in just two weeks. I still find it hard to believe. It was like living in some kind of nightmare only without the crazed demons and volcanic pits.

What happened after Axel died?

I wasn't really aware of much until three days after when Sora, Kairi, Riku, Naminé, and I went down to the funeral home to pay our respects to Axel. Yes, even Kairi and Riku, even though they didn't like him all that well.

Everyone who lived with Axel was there. Even Xemnas and Saix, who never got along very well with him.

Nobody had anything bad to say about him that night, but everyone had a funny story or two to tell. I sat in the back, as far away from the coffin as I could possibly get, and listened to everyone talk. I was amazed by some of the stories I heard and I marveled at how strong that Larxene and Demyx were. They went around and talked to everyone and not once did I see a tear.

By the end of the night, everyone except for me had been up to the front of the room to say goodbye. I tried at one point during the evening, but I couldn't get past the middle of the room before I choked up and had to go sit back down.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to go up to the front of the room and say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye. It hurt too much. But I knew that I would regret it if I didn't go up there.

So I waited until there were only a few people left in the room before I shakily got up and began walking up to the front. I had to stop when I got to the middle of the room. I took a moment to collect myself and then I went a little closer. I was five feet away when I had to stop again. I avoided looking at the coffin as I collected myself, knowing that if I looked at it I wouldn't make it up there to him. Then I walked the rest of the way to him.

It looked like he was sleeping. Like he could just get up and give me his silly grin and say, "Hey, Roxas, wanna go do something?"

He wouldn't though. I would never again hear his voice or see that grin of his. I wouldn't get any phone calls in the middle of the night with him asking me to sneak out and meet him somewhere. I wouldn't get any dates. No more kisses. No more listened to him burst out into song in the middle of town and then get smacked by Larxene.

No more Axel.

I leaned down and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Goodbye, Axel." I whispered before I turned around and left.

I didn't look back.

Going to school two days later was hard, not only because of Axel's death. Rumors about Sora and Riku dating had spread and not everyone was happy about them being together. We all stayed close to them that day, especially Sora.

I wasn't much help to them. I was still mourning Axel's death and I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long. In some ways, I am still mourning his death.

But that's what this book is for. Naminé suggested it as a type of therapy and I couldn't help but agree. She could be convincing when she wanted to be.

It's helping, I think. And I like that the others got involved in it too. It took all of us - me, Kairi, Naminé, Sora, and Riku - working together to get this finished. We had to work together to get all of our facts straight and to remember everything that happened.

So this is it. This is the story of our Spring Vacation that changed everything. In some ways, I'm glad it happened. But in other ways I wish… I wish a lot of things. But there's no use in dwelling on what could have happened or what I wish had happened.

What happened, happened. Nothing will ever change that.


Roxas sighs and drops his pencil on his desk before he stretches his arms over his head, wincing at cracking of his bonds grating together after being still for so long. He is relieved to be finished writing.

"All done?" Naminé asks from her spot on his bed. She's wearing the layered dress that she got in Twilight Town during spring break and has her hair twisted up into a loose and messy bun.

Roxas spins around in his chair and smiles at her. "All done." He agrees happily. "Man am I sore."

Naminé giggles. "You've been sitting there for three hours working on the book. It's not wonder you're sore." She gets off of the bed and walks over to him. "Turn around and don't get up." She tells him sternly.

Roxas complies and nearly jumps out of the town when Naminé starts massaging his stiff shoulders. "When did you learn this?" He asks, relaxing as the tension leaves his body. "Feels nice…" He mumbles.

"My mom taught me last month." Naminé says, pleased that Roxas is listening to her and is staying in the chair. She had tried to massage Riku and Sora, but there both made their escape as soon as they could.

"Your mom?" Roxas asks, trying not to yawn. "Oh, right. She's a massage therapist. That's how she met your dad, right?"

Naminé nods. "Yes. And then he got her into art and she started painting on the side." She stops massaging his shoulders, unable to go any further down his back because of the chair. She orders him to get on the bed and take off his shirt and lay on his stomach.

"What?!" Roxas yelps in surprise, springing out of the chair and away from Naminé.

Naminé tries not to laugh at the look on his face. "It's so I can finish the massage, Roxas. Unless you like having a sore back."

Roxas weighs his options for a few seconds and then complies with her demands. Like most people, he's rather not be sore. But when Naminé straddles his lower back instead of sitting beside him, he nearly jumps up and falls off the bed.

"Sit still, Roxas." Naminé says, a little amused by how jumpy he is. "You're even worse than Kairi!" She starts massaging his shoulders once again and decides to talk to him as she make her way down to his lower back. "So, how do you feel now that you're done writing?"

"I feel better, but it feels like something is missing in the book." Roxas admits. "Like there's suppose to be more to it. I just don't know what it is that's missing."

"You'll figure it out." Naminé says, confident in his abilities. "We still need to go over it and edit everything. We'll be adding things and taking things out and changing the wording of things. We have plenty of time to get it right."

"Yeah." Roxas agrees, closing his eyes.

The two fall into a peaceful silence, which is soon broken by someone walking into the room.

"Well, it's obvious that something is going on in here." Kairi remarks, making both Roxas and Naminé turn their heads to look at her. Roxas groans at the movement and looks away.

Kairi laughs and walks across the room to sit on the bed beside them. "Putting your talents to good use, I see." She teases Naminé. "You might want to get off of him before Demyx comes up."

"Demyx?" Naminé and Roxas ask in unison. Neither of them have heard anything from Demyx or any of the others since the night at the funeral home.

Naminé runs her hands soothingly down Roxas's back and then gets up and smoothes out her dress. "Where is Demyx now?" She asks.

"He's downstairs talking to Sora and Riku right now." Kairi says. "He says he has something for you two. He didn't tell me what it was, though."

"Maybe we should go downstairs." Naminé suggests.

"No need." Demyx says as he walks into the room. He looks tired and his eyes are as cheerful as they once were. He manages a small smile for Roxas and Naminé. "Kairi's right, I do have something for you. I have letters from Axel."

Roxas sits up straight and looks at Demyx in surprise and a soft gasp can be heard from Naminé as he sits down on the edge of the bed.

"L-letters?" Naminé asks faintly. "He left us letters?"

Demyx nods. "Yeah. I… he asked me to deliver them before he…" He stops unable to say the word.

"He know?" Roxas asks in a hushed tone. "He knew that he was going to- going to die and he didn't say anything to me? Not once!" His voice rises in anger with each word. "Why didn't he tell me?"

To everyone's surprise, it's Naminé who answers the question and not Demyx.

"He didn't want you to be sad." She says tearfully. "Axel hated getting looks of pity from people. He wanted to see you while you were happy like you were before."

"Like… before?" Roxas asks, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"The dreams, Roxas!" Naminé says, sounding like she's about to start crying. "The dreams of a time long past. The dreams that aren't dreams at all, but memories. The memories of worlds - of places - so similar to our own, except then they were all separate. Memories of a time… when we should have never existed."

The dream - memory - of the white room stuck out in Roxas's mind and he could hear a sad voice that sounded a lot like a younger Naminé saying, "You… were never suppose to exist, Roxas."

"Don't you remember?" Kairi asks. "When we were little kids, Sora would wake up screaming and crying and begging Riku not to leave. And then he would refuse to let any of us out of his sight for days afterwards."

"And Axel said you knew our nicknames." Demyx speaks up. "Although, it's not too surprising that you didn't know we call Xemnas 'man sex' sometimes. We didn't really dare to say that out loud back then."

Naminé giggles. "He probably would have 'light saber'd' you."

Demyx grins for the first time in weeks. "That reminds me of the time when Axel thought it'd be funny to get Xemnas a pair of light sabers for his birthday. He went totally Sith lord on Axel and chased him around the house yelling, 'Submit to the dark side!'" He laughs. "I think we still have pictures of that. I should show you."

"Wait!" Roxas interrupts, very confused by what they've been telling him. "What are you guys trying to say? That we had some kind of screwed up past life and that now we dream about it?"

"No." Naminé says, shaking her head.

Everything and everyone around Naminé and Roxas freezes in place and then the room and the others fade away to black. Roxas looks around and is surprised to find himself in the white and black checkered clothes that he was fond of when he was fourteen. Naminé is back in her plain white dress.

"What's going on?" Roxas demands. "Naminé, tell me what's going on!"

"This whole life is a dream, Roxas." Naminé explains to him. "Everything that has happened is part of your dream. Part of our dream." She corrects herself. "When we rejoined with Sora and Kairi, what else could we do but dream?"

"So… none of it's real?" Roxas asks, even more confused than before.

Naminé shakes her head. "No, but it could be." She sighs softly. "Roxas, we have a choice. We could choose what we just went through as our future - our next life. Or… or we could choose to start all over again in a completely new life. But if we do that, I don't even know if we'll see each other again. You may never meet Sora or Kairi or Riku or Axel. You may never even meet me. Things in that life could be horrible or they could be wonderful. It's your choice."

"It's up to me?" Roxas asks, surprised. "But what about you? Don't you get a choice?"

Naminé smiles. "I've already made my choice, Roxas. I made up my mind years ago."

"Then… I don't have to think about my choice." Roxas says. "I already know which one to choose." He closes his eyes. "I choose…" He pauses a moment as he opens his eyes and gives Naminé a smile. "I choose this. I choose this life, because for all of the bad things that happen there are a million good things. And… I would rather have known Axel and then lost him rather than not know him at all. And most of all, I know that without you I would be lost."

Naminé beams and then runs forward and hugs him tightly. "I knew you'd make the right choice!" She exclaims before she kisses him on a the cheek. Then she takes a step back and takes his hand. "Ready to go back?" She asks.

Roxas nods. "Yeah. Lets go."

A door appears in the darkness and the two walk through it to rejoin the life they've been living. The life that they chose.


"… 'Submit to the dark side!'" Demyx says with a laugh. "I think we still have pictures of that. I should show you."

"I wouldn't mind seeing those." Roxas says, surprising Kairi and Demyx. "You'll have to bring them by one day. OR better yet, we could use that story and those pictures in our book."

"Book?" Demyx asks. "You're writing a book?"

Roxas nods. "Yeah. Naminé suggested that I write it as a form of therapy and in honor of Axel. Right now I've only covered spring break. I think that what's missing is stories from you and everyone else who lived with Axel."

"Maybe… you could include the letters that Axel wrote." Demyx suggests, pulling two envelopes from the pocket of his jeans. He hands one to Roxas and the other to Naminé.

"No letter for me?" Kairi asks, feeling slightly hurt that Axel didn't think of her.

Demyx grins. "He said you might ask that. He also said that if you did, then I was suppose to give you…" He dug through a lower, bigger pocket on his jeans. "This!" He pulls a pink box from his pocket and hands it to Kairi. "By the way, Larxene says that you had better all come over for his birthday party next Thursday. She also wants you to know that the first person who tries to give her an embarrassing gift will get said gift shoved up their ass." He shrugs at the curious looks he receives. "Hey, I'm just passing along the message."

"We'll be there." Roxas promises. "Make sure you tell the others about the book."

Demyx nods. "I will." He promises.

They talk for a while longer and then Kairi escorts Demyx to the door, leaving Roxas and Naminé alone in the room. The two sit in silent for a few minutes, enjoying the peace.

"Hey, Roxas?" Naminé asks.

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Roxas looks over at Naminé. "Sure, what is it?"

"Did…" Naminé hesitates for a moment, not sure if she wants to know the answer. "Did you love him? Axel, I mean."

Roxas is a little surprised by the question, but he doesn't show it. "I don't know." He says unsurely. "I think… I think I did. I told him I loved him right before he died, so… yeah. I loved him." He smiles bitterly. "That's the second time I've watched him die and been unable to do anything."

"Roxas…" Naminé whispers, her heard going out to her friend. She scoots around the bed and gives him a gentle hug. "I'm sure you'll see him again. It'll just be many, many years."

Roxas manages a weak smile. "Yeah. We both have an afterlife this time, don't we?" He looks down at Naminé and has to fight back a grin. To lighten the atmosphere, he says, "Hey, Naminé, your bra is showing."

Naminé squeaks and turns bright red before she smacks Roxas's chest. "Pervert! Stop looking!"

Roxas just laughs and looks away so she can fix the dress. As he looked out his bedroom window he could help but think, 'I wouldn't trade this life for any other.'


End Chapter
One more chapter to go and then I start on the bonus chapters which will, hopefully, bump me up to 50000. I'm at 30,190 right now, so I need about 20,000 more words.

I don't think I'm gonna make it to 50000. In fact, if I somehow do manage to do some crazy writing today and tonight, then maybe I will make it. I'll give it my best shot! I'm not going down without a fight, that's for sure!