Hello, Mayu's here. A usual, I'd like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed for the previous chapter – some of the reviews are really interesting and got me thinking so much. I'm so glad that I got so many constructive criticism since this if the first time I'm writing this kind of story anyway so I need every help I can get I'm sorry I'm not mentioning anyone directly here but someone points out about Athrun's behaviour being contradictory. Well, when I think of it, it does seem so lol But Athrun is kinda being idealistic here thinking that he can have a happy marriage without falling in love – let's just humour him for a bit and see how long he can maintain that thinking (hint : not so long XD) And I suppose everyone got my hint on Athrun's past relationship /wink but that will be developed much later into the story so look forward for it XD Someone also finds how Athrun and Cagalli interact with each other is confusing. Hm, I wonder if these will help but here's some clarification 1) Athrun has actually decided to stop his flings when they got engaged; he doesn't even want Cagalli to find out about it – the one with Asagi is totally uncalled for and unfortunately he was busted thanks to Dearka 2) So far, Cagalli doesn't really care about Athrun (she's mad about Athrun blowing her off, that's it) thus her lack of concern about his flings but it probably has something to do with the fact that she has her own affair…

Which brings us to this chapter – enjoy!

Chapter 4 – "You can go to your friend for more."

"I'd care about you like I should but being in love is out of question."

"Alright, then."

With that being said, Athrun has been steadily drawing a line for himself. Cagalli seems to have a way to enter his mind at the most random times but so far it doesn't bother him much. Today, however, is an exception.

Today, everything strangely seems to remind him of Cagalli.

When he walked up to the kitchen for breakfast this morning, he suddenly craved for orange juice and cereals; Cagalli's morning kick-start instead of his usual coffee and toast. He always got the supply of milk and orange juice in his bare fridge but cereals was another thing; he didn't remember buying any recently. After rummaging through his cupboard, he found a box of cereals that looked so suspicious he had to search for its expiring date. Confirming that it was safe to be consumed, Athrun started his breakfast way later than usual – which resulted in him turning up at the office five minutes past 8, much to everyone's surprise.

Therefore, he had to endure all kind of teasing and remarks on his first time tardiness from the colleagues that dare to do so, namely Dearka, Yzak and Shiho. Dearka had been smirking at him all day, musing loudly, "But you didn't ask for my contact last night, did you? Wait, of course, you're going steady now…"

"I am not going steady," Athrun had rebuked him through gritted teeth. "And I didn't sleep with anyone last night, so get off that sick idea of yours!"

Yzak, however, was less amused by it. "I hope this is the first and the last time, Athrun – we are in such a busy period; what with the merging with ORB and everything; I thought you are more responsible than this."

Athrun wanted to argue that he did not deserve to be chided just for the only offence so far but he decided to keep quiet, appreciating Yzak's concern of the company.

But it was Shiho who rendered him red during lunch. "Maybe I should have a talk with Cagalli-chan," she says, smiling understandingly. "I did tell her to get your out from the office more but I was thinking along the line after office hours…"

"It has nothing to do – " he stopped at his track, remembering that he was late because he insisted on having Cagalli's style of breakfast, like he was having her favourite lunch of chilli kebab despite his inability to cope up with the spiciness. "Anyway, you know we only meet on weekends."

All three of them snorted but Athrun was being honest. After the party, both of them had agreed to go casual and meet up only during weekends as not to interfere with Athrun's work and Cagalli's study and so far, they have spent three weekends together; hanging out for movies or shopping or simply doing their own work in each other presence during the day, dinners and awesome sex at night. Other than the fact that they haven't killed each other despite a few fights on trivial things, Athrun finds her presence refreshing – a nice change to his mundane life. They still have no solid common ground but both of them show enough interest in each other, which provides enough questions and answers to chase the silence away.

By now, he could say he knows quite a lot about his fiancée; more than what his mother could ever supply. Like the fact that Cagalli loves to eat, especially spicy foods, and she cannot cook but can make some nicest sandwiches she has ever eaten (he has yet to confirm that), gold and silver are wasted on her but she adores uncut gemstones, she listens to music in full volume that it annoys Athrun most of the time especially when she starts bobbing her head following the beat of the songs, she confided how she had an imaginary brother instead of imaginary friends when she was young and how she misses her mother that had passed away when she was six.

In return, Athrun talks a great deal about his life back in PLANTs, considering that Cagalli is less than interested about his work. He talks about his mother dressing him up as a girl when he was a child, that he was home schooled during his elementary years, how he met Dearka and Yzak, the fact that Yzak was once a bitter rival, what did he does in college and how much he admires his mother and how much he respect his father. It is surprising how much he can talk about – he is never much a talker even among his friends since Dearka talks enough for both him and Yzak anyway – but Cagalli is such a good listener, attentive and responsive so despite it being the first time he ever has to talk about his life to someone, he finds it very easy to spill everything to Cagalli.

It is now ten minutes past five and Athrun stretches his arms on his chair after closing yet another file shut. He massages his numb neck before standing up, bending to left and right slightly. He walks towards the clear window that covers a quarter of his huge office. The window always shows the best view of the sky of the day since the office is situated at 14th floor. Today the sky is blue, cloudless with the sun shining so brightly despite the time. Athrun could only imagine how hot it is outside as he has stayed indoor in the bliss of air conditioner since morning.

If it's hot, Cagalli would want…


"One grande Java Chip, please," he says to the barista, smiling politely.

The young female barista stares at him for a while before scurrying to the counter behind her to get a cup. Her hand trembles slightly as she writes the order on the cup – JCF for Java Chip Frappucino.

"W-with whip-whipped cream on top, sir?" she asks timidly.

Athrun thinks for a while before smiling again, unaware of the effect of the simple gesture to the poor barista. He shakes his head. "No, thanks."

The barista nods as she scribbles WC on the cup and then crossing it. "M-May I have your name, sir?"

"It's Athrun. A-T-H-R-U-N," says Athrun. The barista nods, nailing the name so hard in her head, as she writes Athrun's name on the cup before handing it to another barista who is in charge of the drinks. Athrun proceeds to paying for the drink before he goes to the designated space to pick up his order. It doesn't take long since the cafe is not too crowded. Athrun thanks the barista for the drink as he takes a straw nearby. He is fumbling with the straw wrapper on his way out, wondering how a certain blonde does it so easily, when someone bumps into him. Luckily his reflex is good that nothing happens to both of them, or his drink.

"Meyrin!" he hears someone says in front of him.

"I'm sorry!" says the person that has bumped into him. Athrun finally takes a proper look and find a small-framed, ponytailed girl bowing nervously at him while a taller, short-haired girl looks at her, reprimanding. It would be safe to assume that they are sisters.

"It's okay, I wasn't looking as well," says Athrun good-naturedly as the girl keeps on apologizing.

A guy with jet black hair and ruby eyes appears suddenly. He approaches the girls. "Luna, Meyrin, what are you two doing – you!"

Athrun flinches, startled. He has no idea who the guy is, or why he is pointing at him with such contempt on his face. Surely bumping into some girl does not warrant him that much hate? It is her fault for running around on the first place. Now that he thinks about it, they look too young to hang out at this particular chain of Starbucks Coffee; all around are office blocks and most of the customers are businessmen as himself and office ladies.

"Athrun Zala!" the guy says with a spat, as the two girls gasp, looking at each other.

Athrun looks at him, now annoyed. "Yes, I am. Who are you?"

"I'm…"

"Shinn!" another girl calls out as she makes her way towards them. "Luna, Meyrin, what happened…Athrun?"

"Cagalli?" Athrun says unbelievingly. What could possibly bring his fiancée to his office area? But at least Cagalli's appearance clears the confusion of why the guy would know his name; these must be her friends from college.

"Athrun," Cagalli calls again, this time more agitated as she looks at her fiancé and her friends respectively. "I didn't expect to see you here…but your office is really near here, right? I-I forgot. We are just – "

"I'm Shinn," the guy called Shinn cut her off, taking Athrun's attention from her at once. "Shinn Asuka."

Athrun stares at him coolly, no longer bothered minding his manner since this Shinn doesn't seem to have any. "You know who I am."

"Of course I know who you are," says Shinn in disdain, his face clearly shows what he thinks of Athrun. "Cagalli's old man of a fiancé."

Cagalli is practically jumping out of her skin, blushing furiously out of both rage and guilt. She flies to Shinn's side, tugging him to step down but both men are now staring at each other, Shinn scorning and Athrun glaring.

"Shinn," she hisses to his ear. "What the hell are you doing…"

Shinn pays no attention to her as his gaze is fixed on Athrun. "Do you know that Cagalli is really loud in bed?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"She would scream at whatever you do. Do you know that she likes it the most when you attack her at the neck? And she would always tell you to go faster even though it is the fastest you can go. She would get turned on more if you dirty talk her and she loves it when you touch her over the clothes and when you're done, she'd love to –"

"Cuddle, yes, I know," Athrun cut off through gritted teeth, his eyes glistening dangerously as his hands curl into fists.

The atmosphere must have dropped to negative Celsius but Shinn does not seem abashed at all; he is still leering at Athrun with contempt. In fact, he is smirking in disdain. "Oh, so you know. Then I wonder why she's still coming to me?"

"Shinn!" Cagalli exclaims, completely horrified both by the fact Shinn has just blurted and the murderous look on Athrun's face. She tugs on Shinn again but this time Shinn pulls away from her grip and walks into the café, signalling the other girls to follow him.

Cagalli is glad that Shinn finally leaves but then she's not sure if she wants to be alone with this Athrun – it reminds her of the night in the club. Both of them are avoiding each other's gaze and after a while, the silence starts to feel choking. Cagalli is fiddling with the zipper of her sling bag, just trying to make herself look busy while Athrun is throwing his gaze to the bustling crowd, still clutching to his drink.

"Athrun," Cagall finally calls. Athrun looks at her, his expression unfathomable. "I-I'm sorry, Shinn is being really rude but…"

She babbles away on why Athrun should not give Shinn a damn but Athrun interprets everything as "He is telling the truth, anyway – I'm sleeping with him."

"Cagalli," he stops her after a while, managing a slight smile. "It's okay, I don't mind."

The blonde looks up, finally meeting Athrun's eyes. "But…"

The man gives her another smile that doesn't his eyes. "Really. Here, take this – I have to get back to the office now." He thrusts the drink towards her.

Cagalli looks bewildered as ever, looking back to back from the drink to Athrun's face. Impatient, Athrun takes Cagalli's hand and makes her hold the cup.

"Take care on your way home," he says briefly before walking out of the scene.

She is still in daze when her friends come out from the café, each holding their own drinks. All of them are surprised to see Cagalli already with a drink since she never made it into the café at all. The short-haired girl with magenta hair squints at the drink, trying to take a better look and then gasps quite dramatically.

"Did he give you're his drink?" she asks, eyes widened. "Oh, it's so sweet of him…"

The girl with ponytails looks at her unbelievingly. "B-But isn't he mad? Shinn said some ungodly things, after all…"

Cagalli finally takes a proper look at the drink Athrun has just left her with. Even without looking at the label she knows it is her favourite Java Chip Frappucino – she never quite orders anything else at Starbucks Coffee. But Athrun dislikes the ice blended drink; if the weather is too warm for his preferred hot coffee, he would go for normal iced coffee but never the ice blended since he deems it too sweet to his liking. He even refuses to try the Espresso Frappucino – why would he go and buy the chocolate-infused Java Chip?

Because it's her favourite drink?

"Shinn," she says as she looks directly at Shinn's ruby eyes. "We need to talk."


It is the first time that work cannot distract Athrun, and he comes back home around 9 at night, still fuming mad.

All he wants to do now is to give Shinn a slap or two, preferably in public – but he has yet to find some valid reasons to do it. Should Cagalli be engaged to him in every sense of word, it would be perfectly understandable for Athrun to be flying in rage at him for sleeping with her but unfortunately she's not, so the reason doesn't count. Heck, Athrun has yet to find reasons why he is so mad on the first place. He knows he is not Cagalli's first and he knows Cagalli is sexually active even before their meeting for she has been on pills since the very first time they do it – he has just not bothered to ask; or perhaps he just doesn't want to know.

Then why is he mad now – is it for the fact that Cagalli actually has the nerve to hide such things from him; as if he hasn't had secrets of his own? Why did he almost pummel Shinn right there and then when he started spilling all those details – was it because somehow he actually believed that he should be the only who knows the facts? Why did he choose not to talk to Cagalli and waved off the matter – was it because he knew the moment he starts talking he would be saying all things that he would regret in his fury? And why is he still mad now – is it because for the fact that no matter how he tries to reason, he still thinks that Cagalli is his and his alone?

For a moment, Athrun is glad that it is only Thursday; it will be a while before he has to see Cagalli again – and he might not be seeing her for the week, after all. And how he hopes he would never see the face of Shinn again; not soon, and preferably not ever.

Imagine how surprised he is when the elevator opens to his floor of the apartment, he sees a familiar blonde sitting in front of his door.

"Cagalli?" he says as he approaches her, eyebrows furrowed.

Cagalli looks up and scrambles to her feet. One of her hands is holding her phone while another holds a Styrofoam cup with a holder bearing the Starbucks crest. She stuffs the phone into her pockets before pulling up the bag that she laid down on the floor, slinging it on her shoulder. She makes way for Athrun to open the door but stands still when the man steps into the room.

"What are you doing? Come in," says Athrun as he switches on the lights.

The girl enters the house wordlessly. Looking around, she finds Athrun's house is as immaculate as ever. The blue-haired man puts away his briefcase and blazers before proceeding to roll up his sleeves. He looks at his fiancée who is standing at the centre of the room awkwardly and sighs.

"What are you doing here, Cagalli?" he asks, leaning at one of the sofa sets. He glances at his Mont Blanc watch and frowns at the time. "I'll send you home."

"I want to talk to you," says Cagalli firmly, looking straight at Athrun.

Athrun holds the gaze for a few moments before looking away and gets onto his feet, fishing the keys out from his pocket. "We'll talk on the way."

Cagalli has no choice but to follow his steps as he walks out from the building and to his car. The air between them is stifling despite the cool night breeze. Even when the ride starts Cagalli could not find any opening for a conversation and if Athrun feels the tension as well, he is not saying anything about it. So the car ride starts in silence – since Athrun never listens to radio while driving and Cagalli is too preoccupied to bug him to at least switch on the radio like she always does.

"Athrun," she gives after a while, realizing that if she does not start talking she will lose the chance when they reach her house.

"Hm," Athrun responds vaguely without even looking at her.

"I want to apologize for Shinn," Cagalli starts, choosing her words carefully. "He says unreasonable stuffs most of the time, but he's not that bad. I know he was unforgivable rude to you earlier but that's just how he is and…"

"I've listened to that earlier Cagalli," Athrun cuts her off as his emerald eyes dart towards Cagalli for a brief moment. "And you know damn well it's not what I want to hear from you."

Cagalli flinches; even though Athrun said it pretty coolly but it sounds quite menacing indeed. She takes a deep breath and throws her gaze onto the roadside.

"Shinn is my best friend; well, one of them, anyway. He was a year younger than me – my junior back in high school – and then he enrolled to the same university. We…started to sleep together when his girlfriend Stellar left him and my boyfriend Ahmed cheated on me – somewhere around last year."

"Stellar, the one we got the dress from?"

"Yes, Shinn was devastated; they had been going out since high school and he really doted on her so he had it pretty bad back then, and I was hell mad at that bastard of a cheater so we…kinda comforted each other, you know, keep another company when things get too lonely. Somehow it becomes a habit. Luna and Meyrin, the girls with us earlier, kept bugging us to just get together but we just don't feel that way. Of course that was before the engagement – the girls are pretty excited about me being engaged, I don't know why. But Shinn didn't like the idea from the start. He hates it even more when he heard about you being so much older – he thinks I'm just being stupid – "

"Aren't you?" Athrun cuts her off for the third time, this time more coldly than ever.

Cagalli goes still before her eyes glint dangerously at Athrun's direction. "I'm sorry?"

Athrun doesn't say anything as he swerves smoothly into the compound of Cagalli's apartment mansion. He parks next to Cagalli's own car since each resident is allowed two parking spaces. Cagalli is still watching him intently as he shifts the gear to Neutral and let go of the brake and clutch pedals. Her gaze is strong and penetrating but Athrun keeps his calm, finally taking a proper look of his fiancée.

He almost smiles at once; forgetting for a moment that he is currently upset but he could not help it – she has that kind of effect on him most of the time. Plus she has been in his mind oddly since morning so of course he would be delighted to actually see her; even though in a circumstance of finding out that she has been sleeping with someone else, and not particularly sorry about it. Heck, she has yet to apologize for the matter – all she asks from him is to forgive that brat of her friend.

But why would she apologize anyway, Athrun Zala?

Because I'm her fucking fiancé, Athrun thinks angrily but then he nearly laughs at himself. A fucking fiancé that won't even let himself to love her – where is his right to be angry, anyway?

"Am I going to know why am I stupid anytime soon?" Cagalli breaks up his train of thoughts.

"That just slipped out – I didn't mean that," Athrun replies offhandedly. It's true, after all – he was just feeling annoyed by all the stuff about Shinn that he just had to respond with that.

Cagalli doesn't look like she believes him but she is just as desperate to drop the topic; there is a more important matter to be addressed, after all.

"Anyway," she says with a sigh. "I already talked to Shinn – and we have called this thing off."

Athrun smirks quite scornfully. "Bet he isn't pleased."

"He isn't but he has nothing to say on this. I should have done this earlier," Cagalli looks away briefly, hesitant. "Sorry."

There goes the apology Athrun is waiting for but for some reason he is not all content with it - it feels forced and Cagalli doesn't really look sorry.

"You don't have to do that, you know," he hears himself say before he could think of anything. "You can continue with him – I don't really mind."

He thought he has done quite well but perhaps it sounded just as insincere as he was when he was saying it, because Cagalli is now staring at him with gritted teeth, livid.

"Who do you think you're kidding?" she hisses. "You were fucking mad back then in the club, and now you're fine with it?"

"I don't plan on making you mine before time, Cagalli," Athrun says firmly this time around. "I stopped you before because I didn't want you to do anything stupid but this time I suppose you know what you're doing if you've doing it for a year already – there's a difference."

"This is ridiculous – you are ridiculous," Cagalli shakes disbelievingly. "What's wrong with you, Athrun?"

"Nothing," Athrun sighs as his eyes dart around before returning to Cagalli. "By the way, I'm going back to PLANTs tomorrow."

That catches Cagalli off guard and throws the previous matter away from her head. She looks at Athrun, perplexed. "PLANTs? Tomorrow?"

The man nods. "I'm needed in the main branch for a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" Cagalli asks immediately, noticing the vague term.

Athrun shrugs, his smile threatening to spill at Cagalli's bemused face. "I don't know, two weeks at least, a month at most because I can't really leave the Heliopolis branch for too long."

Cagalli frowns; obviously displeased. She doesn't know much about Athrun's position in ZAFT but she thought he is strictly based on Heliopolis – the thought of him having to return to PLANTs, no matter for how long, has not crossed her mind at all. "I thought it'd be just a few days…"

"It's something quite big so…Why are you bothered so much, anyway?" The older man finally smiles, though the smile is not as warm as his usually are – in fact, this one looks malicious. He looks at Cagalli directly. "It just means that you can have your friend over the weekend as well."

It seems like he has hit the sore point since Cagalli immediately looks murderous. "Right, and you can have some PLANTs bitches after so long," she snarls.

That doesn't hit Athrun well either. He grits his teeth, eyes glistening madly. "I told you I've stopped, didn't I? Why won't you trust me?"

"I told you I am stopping as well – why won't you trust me?" Cagalli counters just as vehemently. The two hold gazes for quite some time, the tension in the air rising to the maximum despite the silence – neither wants to give up. A minute or two must have passed when Cagalli finally looks away, her expression down.

"Can I call you?" she asks in a small voice.

The smirk Athrun has just about to form dies away as he studies Cagalli's depressed air, making him to consider the question seriously. "I'll be really busy, Cagalli – I'm not sure if I'll be able stick to the office hours." As if he ever sticks to them all this time but he indeed will be even busier in PLANTs.

Cagalli looks up slightly. "Then, can you call me whenever you're free?"

Athrun sighs as he runs his long fingers through his hair and leans with his elbow on the window for support. "I'll be working all hours; I'm not sure if I can – "

"Fine. Don't, then," Cagalli cuts him off snappily. She grabs her bag from under the seat. "Go and die working – who says anything about getting along and treating me right and everything, anyway…"

There goes Cagalli's childish mode that renders Athrun smiling despite everything. He is still upset about the matter of that friend of hers, and now that he has mentioned about the problem back in main branch of ZAFT in PLANTs he could not get the matter out of his head and it seems like Cagalli does not believe about him dismissing every sexual flings except for with her (which is ironic because she is the one who sleeps with another behind his back) and now who knows what is in her head to come up with the idea of calling – and why won't she just understand that he simply won't have the time to do so. These irate him and make him less collected than usual but a flash of look on Cagalli's face he knows he is hurting her.

Yes, despite the 'getting along' and 'treating her right' things he has been sprouting.

"I'll leave now – thanks for the lift," he hears her saying; her hand is already on the door handle.

"I'll try call you," Athrun says quickly, stopping her in motion but she still hasn't turned. "I'll call you – so let me have at a least a kiss. We won't be able to see each other in a while, after all."

He is glad for the fact that no matter how much Cagalli has changed from the first time they met – she still cannot resist his kiss whatsoever. Indeed, she turns around slowly and hesitant as if she could not believe Athrun.

"You will call?" she asks.

"Yes, I will," Athrun replies as he closes the distance between their faces, touching Cagalli's cheek lightly with his ice cold hand. He stares at Cagalli's slightly apart lips, invitingly red – in the lighting almost as red as a pair of eyes he has come to hate; which stops him on his track. Does he do this before he kisses her as well? Does he also think about how soft her lips would be on his even before their lips make a contact like Athrun does? Does he also plan ahead on his head on how he would render her breathless and flushed like Athrun does? Does he also anticipate her reaction like Athrun does? Does he also love it when her lips are all swollen and bruised when he is done with her like Athrun does?

Athrun closes his eyes shut as if killing the thoughts but the damage is done. He grimaces as he tilts his head slightly and places his lips on Cagalli's cheek instead. He keeps the contact for a few moments before letting go, meeting Cagalli's questioning eyes.

"You can go to your friend for more."

For a moment Cagalli looks like she is going to fly in rage but then changing her mind as if it doesn't worth her time. She picks up her bag again and opens the door silently. Athrun watches her go before noticing that she has left the coffee cup that she was holding earlier. Taking it in his hand, he notices that it is still full by the weight.

"Cagalli," he calls out. "Your coffee."

Cagalli stops without turning. "It's for you," she says before closing the door shut.

Athrun follows her steps with his eyes, making sure that she is safe in the building before drawing his attention to the coffee in his hand. Deciding that he needs a dose of caffeine to clear his mind after all, he opens the lid and takes a sip. His tongue distinguishes the familiar taste but something is off – it is cold, not iced but not even warm. Then it hits Athrun.

He hasn't asked her how long has she been waiting by the door. He hasn't asked why she didn't just call him by the phone. He hasn't even asked if she has had dinner. He hasn't asked anything about her at all and Cagalli hasn't been saying anything at all about his tactlessness – all of a sudden he feels like the younger one. Just what did Cagalli do to calm and sensible, typical 28-year-old of him? Just how did she do it that he is so consumed into jealousy that he could even stay level-headed?

Who is he kidding when he decides not to fall in love with her? The rate he's going –

Stop it, Athrun, he thinks as he puts the coffee away in the holder and starts to drive away from the complex. Don't even think of it – you can't.

There you go. I hope that helps to clarify some things. I'll try writing more from Cagalli's perspective for the next chapter because so far it has been Athrun-centric. Though I'm not sure if I can update the same time next week since the next chapter is not yet done because I was busy with the Eid and I'll be busy preparing to enter the university, so yeah. But I do want to maintain my pace of updating so I'll try to work it out. So, yea, do tell me what you think of Cagalli's fling and Shinn and Athrun's reaction – it'll help me to write the next chapter lol because I don't plan on stopping Shinn's role here – he got much bigger role ahead. That's it; thanks a lot for reading and I'd be really happy if you'd review XD

p.s. Does the kissing scene seem redundant? Because so far every chapter has been ending with them kissing so…I hope you all don't mind! And I write the scene in Starbucks according to how they serve here (I am a sucker for their drinks – most of my money are spent on Frappuccinos TT~TT) so I was kind of wondering if they do the same in other countries…

- Mayu