Its been forever since I posted in this story...

For once, a crack fic that isn't inspired by GK or, more recently, Misty.


"Soundwave! You buffoon, how hard is it to hack an insolent little human's hard drive?!"

Though he never paused in his work, Soundwave could not help but internally groan. Starscream had been harassing him ever since Megatron had left the room, and the loyal Third in Command did not wish to bother his Lord with such a trivial matter as Starscream's insolence. But, sadly, the petulant child of a Second in Command was not the only thing bothering Soundwave—

"Geeze, Screamer. Do you ever stop whining?"

Growling, Starscream yet again turned his impatience to one of the three glass tubes off to the side. "I would remember, fleshbag, who holds your fate in his hands."

Miko Nakadai, the Japanese exchange student and resident wild child, placed a fist on one hip as she jutted it out to the side. With an evil smirk mixed with a mocking tone, she countered, "Who? You mean Megatron? As in, the giant gladiator who would beat the scrap out of you if you killed one of his Autobot hostages?"

Irritation clear on his face, he leaned in close and stated in a threatening tone, "Do not underestimate me. I can easily find another insignificant human to replace you."

Laughing, she added in a sinister tone, "You really want to risk it, Mr. High Heels?"

"Miko!" That was the young teenage boy, Jack Darby. The closest thing to a leader that the motley group of humans the Autobots had collected. He had been waving his arms and gesturing to Miko constantly during there time here to try and get her to stop pushing her luck.

Unfortunately, she does not listen to her leader as well as Soundwave listens to his.

The bickering continued, each actin like misbehaving sparklings as they threw insults back and forth. Eventually, Jack gave up trying to stop Miko and instead turned his attention to the last of the hostages, the young Rafael Esquivel.

Keeping his voice down, though Soundwave could here every word, Jack whispered, "Raf? Can you see what they are doing with your laptop?"

Keeping his voice low as well, he spoke to the older boy while keeping his eyes trained on Soundwave. "He is definitely trying to hack it. But I think my mixing Cybertronian and human coding is making it difficult."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT YOU PATHETIC LITTLE—"

"I'd watch your language, mister," Miko mock scolded Starscream. "I mean, we are children."

Watching the scene, Raf added, "And there might be other factors…"

Getting fed up with the bickering, Soundwave resorted to cruel to rid the room of unwanted distractions. Cueing up a familiar sound, he started up the room's speakers and began to play it. With a confused look her face, Miko asked, "Is that—"

"GAH!" Starscream shrilly screamed. "MAKE IT STOP." One optic twitching, he bolted from the room, running into the door before it fully opened, then scrambling out and down the hall, screaming all the way.

"…the… chicken…dance…." Her words were even more confused and shocked as the three humans stared at the door as it slowly closed behind the terrified Second in Command. "I don't even want to know the back story behind that."

Finally satisfied, Soundwave returned to his work, having almost decrypted one of the files. Just as he was entering the last key strokes, none other than Knockout came strolling in. "So… finally used that ridiculous Earth song to get rid of the afthead?" No response, which Knockout realized he should have expected. Then, a sudden ping came from the moniter, and he decided to be nosy about Soundwave's work. "Finally! Let's see what you found!"

Standing right next to Soundwave as he opened the file, the contents didn't seem very interesting. Just random things about the computer, all seemingly dull, until one particular thing caught Knockout's gaze.

"What. The. Frag."

"Umm…" Rafael spoke up. "I hope they didn't find anything important—"

"WHY IN THE NAME OF UNICRON," Knockout exclaimed in a disgusted manner, "DO YOU HAVE A FILE LABELED 'HUAMN INTERFACING DEVICES?!"

Confusion passed over Rafael's face. "Oh, that? Its just a feature on my laptop."

"Yeah," Jack added in a bored tone. "Nearly every human computer has one."

Knockout and Soundwave stared at the humans in utter horror and disgust, leading Miko say, "Dudes, its just interfacing. I mean, come on! Its not even that bad. Heck, even I could show you how to, but I will need Jack or Raf to help me—"


The Autobots exited the groundbridge just in time to see Knockout dumping Rafael out of his pod next to Miko and Jack on the hard packed dirt ground. He looked up at them and sneered, "Take your filthy, disgusting little pets and keep them away from us." Then, before the Bots could respond, he stormed away and through a groundbridge.

Shaking off the confusion, each respective guardian rushed to scoop up their charge and check them over for injuries. As Ratchet scanned each of them, Arcee exclaimed, "What was that all about?"

"Well," Miko replied. "Apparently the Cons don't like the idea of me showing them human interfacing with Raf or Jack."

They all stared in shock while Bulkhead promptly passed out.