And here we are for another random, lengthy'ish one-shot. Warning - this one contains a little bit of one-sided SasuSaku, but being a NaruSaku fan, I promise it works its way to NaruSaku in the end!
It was a dark, stormy night and rain was mercilessly pounding against the window that one blond-haired man was currently staring out of. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated the man's face. Blonde hair hung over blue eyes, and a frown was adorning a face that was far more used to smiling. As fast as the lightning came it was gone, allowing the man's face to again be shrouded in the darkness of the unlit room.
CRACK!
The man didn't even react from the loud crack of thunder. His mind was too busy. The man pulled his tired blue eyes away from the window to scan his living room. His eyes landed on his clock, and he let out a sigh.
"3 a.m… I really need to go to bed."
He brought his attention back to the storm that was currently raging just outside his window. He knew that he wasn't going to be going to bed anytime soon. He had done something both wonderful and horrible today… and he felt extremely guilty about it.
"I didn't do anything wrong… I didn't force her into anything. She made her decision on her own." He reminded himself, trying to quiet his restless mind. But deep down, he didn't believe the words he just said. He did something very wrong. He did something very stupid. And that something led to something absolutely wonderful.
Another flash of lightning temporarily illuminated the man's home as his mind drifted back to earlier in the day.
FLASHBACK
He was running, and he wasn't entirely sure why. Well… he knew exactly why. But he wasn't sure what exactly he was going to do once he got to his destination. Luckily, he was never one for plans anyways. The rain pattered down around him as he raced towards his destination. The sun had been blotted out by dark clouds in the morning, and it had been raining ever since.
His eyes lit up as his destination came into view: a trendy new café that had quickly become one of Konoha's most popular date destinations. It was located in the middle of the village, the food and drinks were good and it was moderately priced. The man slowed down as he approached the café.
Now that he was here, his nerves were starting to get the better of him. He kind of assumed some sort of plan would pop into his mind when he got here, yet he was still as clueless as ever as to what to do next. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, the man walked through the door of the café. His eyes scanned the place until they found what they were looking for – a pretty girl with a head of pink hair.
Still without a plan, the man willed himself to approach the girl who he had run all this way to see. Inner doubt grew with each step he took. Just what the hell was he doing here? What was he going to say? What would he say to the girl's date? What would he…
"Naruto?"
His thoughts were interrupted simply by her speaking his name. His eyes widened in surprise… he barely even registered that he had made it to her. Now what? He desperately tried to come up with a plan, ANY plan would do at this point.
"Naruto Uzumaki. Earth to Naruto. What are you doing here?"
"Umm… hey, Sakura." He awkwardly replied.
"Hi. Are you going to answer my question? Or are you going to keep standing there looking like a fish out of water?" Sakura asked.
Naruto stared carefully at his teammate. Something seemed… off with her right now. Those bright emerald eyes that had so effortlessly entranced him on many occasions seemed a tad bit duller. Her posture, which she prided herself on normally being straight and upright, was uncharacteristically slouched ever so slightly. And her face, which he always did his best to make sure was smiling, was currently doing its best to hide some sort of sadness or disappointment from the world.
"Naruto! If you don't speak up, I'm going to slap you upside the head!"
"I just stopped by to see how things were going!" Naruto quickly blurted out.
"You stopped by… to see how things were going? You honestly just decided to, out of the blue, walk to the center of town to check in on Sasuke and I… during our date?"
"Well I ran…" Naruto mumbled. At that very moment, he found himself wishing he was more of a planning person. Because right now, standing here before Sakura without a plan, well… it wasn't going so well.
"You ran?"
"I uh… well, you see, Sakura… I was training. Yeah! I was training, specifically working on my endurance. So I was running throughout the village. When I just so happened to see this place as I was running, I figured I might as well stop in to see how my two favorite teammates' date was going!"
"So let me get this straight… You thought it would be a good idea to pop in on two people's date while it's in progress?"
"Umm… well when you say it that way…"
"You're an idiot Naruto. You're really an idiot." Sakura sighed, rolling her eyes.
"So where's Sasuke at? I want to tell him he better be taking care of you." Naruto said, trying to change the conversation. All he succeeded in doing, however, was make Sakura's shoulders deflate ever so slightly more.
"He left."
"He left? But it's only 6:30. Your date started at 6. Did he have some sort of emergency?"
"No emergency." Sakura quietly answered.
"So he ditched you?! That son of a… when I get my hands on him, Sakura, I'm going to…"
"And he wasn't a jerk or an ass either! So enough of that talk." Sakura quickly added, interrupting Naruto before he could ramble too much. "And if you insist on grilling me, you may as well sit down. We're starting to make a scene with you standing like that."
"Oh I don't want to intrude…"
"You don't want to intrude? Naruto, you ran here to check in on how my date was going. That's a clear example of intruding."
"I know… I'm sorry I overstepped…"
"Shut up." Sakura groaned. "You really are such an idiot. Am I yelling at you right now?"
"No?"
"Do I look angry at you right now?"
"Umm… no?"
"And do you generally know when I'm angry at you?"
"Well… yeah. I mean, if I miss some sort of sign, you usually end up beating the crap out of me. So it's hard to miss."
For the first time since he entered the café, Sakura cracked a small smile.
"Then use your head! I'm obviously not all that angry about you intruding. So if you want to grill me, sit your ass down!"
Naruto quickly complied, taking the seat opposite of Sakura. To the casual observer, it might appear that the two were on a date. They sat in silence for a couple of seconds. Sakura was obviously waiting for him to question her, but Naruto wasn't exactly sure what to say. He again wished he had some sort of plan. But since he didn't, he decided to stick with what he had been doing so far – opening his mouth and praying for luck.
"So Sasuke left your date really early, there was no emergency and he wasn't an ass. So what happened?"
"Well… we had a talk. A real talk. Probably the first one we've actually had since he came back to us after the war."
"And that talk went…"
"Well obviously it didn't go in the direction I wanted it to." Sakura sighed. "But it was a good talk. It was a needed talk. Basically, we aired it all out. I told Sasuke that I'm still interested in him, and that I would like the chance to get to know him as something more than just a teammate. I told him that I could see that he was starting to come back from the darkness he let himself slip into, and that I wanted to help bring him fully out of it. And I told him that I… that we…"
Naruto did his very best to keep his features neutral. Listening to the girl you were in love with talking about how she wanted some other guy wasn't exactly the most enjoyable way to spend your evening… But he was her friend. And Sakura clearly needed to talk about this right now.
"I told him that we should be a couple. You know, as ninjas, time isn't exactly on our side. We're only 18, but if we have a chance at happiness now, we should do everything we can to achieve it."
"Wow… you really did lay it all out there." Naruto quietly said. He prayed that his face wasn't betraying the pain he was currently hiding.
"Yeah, well… It didn't really do a lot of good. Sasuke told me that nothing had changed between us in that sense. He said that, just like when we were younger, he still had no romantic interest in me… and he said that he never would. He…"
"Don't cry." Naruto suddenly blurted out. As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he instantly regretted them. Telling an upset person not to cry was basically a trigger that caused them to cry!
"I'm not going to cry, idiot." Sakura countered. "Don't get me wrong… this sucks. A lot actually. But there's no use crying over it. If Sasuke doesn't feel that way, then I'm glad he was completely honest. It's better to know, for sure, that he doesn't like me like that, then spend any more years wondering if he does."
Before Naruto could say anything, a waiter suddenly appeared.
"I'm sorry to interrupt miss, but would you and your companion like to order some food now?"
"I didn't bring my wallet with me tonight, so I only have enough money for my drink. Thank you though." Sakura replied.
"Screw that! It's dinner time! Yes, please bring us a menu." Naruto said.
"Of course. I'll be right back."
"Naruto, I can't ask you to pay for my dinner."
"Well no, that would be kind of a bitch thing to do right?" Naruto grinned. "Luckily for you, you didn't ask. I offered."
"But…"
"And I'm not taking no for an answer." The waiter returned with menus just as Naruto stubbornly crossed his arms to accentuate his point.
"Are you sure? Because you do not have to. Just talking about it with you has made me feel a lot better. I don't need to mooch a free meal off you."
"If you don't pick something that you want to eat off this menu, Sakura, I'm going to run around the village telling everyone exactly what I overheard you admitting to in your sleep during our mission last week!"
"You wouldn't!" Sakura gasped. "Who the hell blackmails a girl just after she got rejected?"
"Your future Hokage – me!"
"Well, I normally don't respond well to blackmail, but just this once I'll give in." Sakura said, offering him a real smile. "Thanks, Naruto."
FLASH IN
CRASH!
Another crack of thunder jolted Naruto from his thoughts. They had ordered dinner when the waiter returned, and then Sakura told him everything. How truly disappointed she was, and how hurt she was, that Sasuke wasn't interested. And Naruto listened to every single word she had to say… even though most of her words hurt. To that point, he had been a supportive friend, as he should be.
He may not have gone into it with a plan, but to that point, he had been exactly what Sakura needed. As they ate their dinner, he slowly but surely brought her spirits up. Slowly but surely she began smiling more than frowning. Slowly but surely her eyes regained their shine. And if he had just stopped there, he would be proud of himself right now.
But he was a man without a plan today. And in the end, going into something without a plan almost always resulted in some sort of screw up. His mind drifted back into his memories, just after he and Sakura had finished dinner.
FLASH IN
"I owe you $15." Sakura said as Naruto picked up the bill.
"Bullshit. You don't owe me anything Sakura."
"You really don't think so, do you?"
"I know so."
"I… I'm so lucky, and I don't know why." Sakura flashed Naruto a warm smile.
"Huh?"
"I'm lucky to have you as a friend." Sakura explained when she saw the confused look on his face. "If it wasn't for you, I'd be sulking right now. But you showed up here tonight without me even needing to call for you. And you listened, and then you cheered me up. You rescued me tonight."
"Well… I'm…" Naruto sputtered. He had not expected anything like this. His mind, which had been on auto-pilot the entire damn night, remained blank. Forcing himself to go with his tried and true method of just opening his mouth.
"Go out with me. On a real date." Naruto's eyes widened in shock. Yes, those were the words he wanted to say. But they were certainly not the words he SHOULD say! He couldn't believe he just said that!
"What? Are you serious?" Sakura asked, examining him carefully.
Naruto paused. He needed to say the right thing here. He may have raised her spirits, but that didn't change the fact that Sakura was currently hurt. She had just been rejected by the guy she liked after all. If he looked up the definition of vulnerable in the dictionary right now, a picture of Sakura at this very moment would be in there. But his treacherous mind was still inactive. The right words didn't suddenly pop into his head. He was forced to, once again, open his mouth and pray for the best.
"Yes I am."
Naruto mentally cursed at himself. Those were definitely not the words he should have said! He couldn't believe his treacherous mouth was trying to take advantage of Sakura when she was vulnerable like this!
"You actually are, aren't you?" Sakura quietly hummed. She pondered him for a moment before smiling at him. "Ok then, Naruto. Let's go out on a date."
"I understand, I shouldn't have… wait… uh… really?" Naruto stammered. That was definitely not the response he had been expecting. Sakura was clearly more vulnerable than he realized!
"Yes, really. When do you want to go?"
Naruto paused again. He had a chance to rectify his mistake. All he had to do was pick a day a couple of weeks out, then he could let Sakura back out of it once she became less vulnerable and realized what exactly she had agreed to. He smiled. Finally, there was a plan forming in his dormant mind! He confidently opened his mouth.
"Tomorrow night."
"Deal. Pick me up at 7."
"Will do, Sakura."
Sakura stood up from the table and flashed him another brilliant smile. "Great. Well, if I have a date with you to look forward to tomorrow, I'm going to go ahead and call it a night. See you tomorrow."
"Good night Sakura."
FLASH IN
"Stupid stupid stupid…" Naruto groaned. "What kind of bastard takes advantage of a vulnerable girl like that… And what kind of pathetic idiot so willingly tries to become a freaking consolation prize?"
He rested his forehead against the cold window.
"I do. I, the future Hokage, do all of that." He closed his eyes and squeezed his fists together in frustration. This was all his dumb mouth's fault. If it had just said what it was supposed to when he opened it, he would not have asked Sakura on a date, and he certainly would not have scheduled it for tomorrow.
Another flash of lightning illuminated his living room, the ensuing crack of thunder caused Naruto to open his eyes again. He stood up and walked to a small coffee table sitting in front of his couch and glanced down at the framed picture sitting on it: the old picture of Team 7.
The idiotic little blonde in the picture he was currently staring at would be jumping for joy and dancing in circles if he got a date with Sakura. There was no way his 12 year old self would feel guilty. But Naruto wasn't 12 anymore. He had matured. His 12 year old self didn't have the wherewithal to realize that he would willingly be taking advantage of Sakura in this situation, nor would he have been able to realize that he was willingly trying to become a silver medal.
Naruto sighed and tried to clear his mind. He was never going to get to sleep at this rate. He again reminded himself that Sakura agreed to his impromptu date request entirely on her own. Heck, she agreed to it right away even. She didn't even have to think about it. That should be a good sign. He also tried telling himself that it didn't matter if he was a consolation prize or not. What mattered was both his and her happiness.
Unfortunately for Naruto, however, he didn't really agree with either of those thoughts. His mind went right back to going over the night's events, meaning he wasn't going to be going to sleep anytime soon. His eyes drifted lazily back out the window to watch the storm.
Meanwhile, across the village, a girl with pink hair was watching the very same storm with a frustrated look on her face. Try as she might, she couldn't force herself to go to sleep. Her damn mind just wouldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened today.
The sting of rejection was still there from her "date" with Sasuke, but it was definitely less painful than it would have been had Naruto not shown up to save the day.
"Naruto…" Sakura quietly muttered. "Am I doing the right thing? Or am I just going to hurt you?"
Surprisingly, that was the thought that kept fluttering about her mind, preventing her from falling asleep. Sure, she replayed her date with Sasuke over from time to time, replaying his words and trying to see if there was anything she could have done differently. But she knew that there wasn't. He wasn't interested in her like that, and even though it hurt to be rejected, she knew she had to move on.
And that understanding just kept bringing her thoughts back to Naruto. His nosiness and overprotective nature had been an extreme blessing tonight. She was doing her best to keep the tears at bay, but without Naruto's intervention, she very well could be crying right now. Once again, he was there for her when she needed him. Just as he always was.
When Naruto asked her out, and she realized he was being serious, she instantly accepted without a second thought. She didn't mull over the consequences like she would've thought she had, she just instantly said yes. But the question was… why? Why did she accept? Was she accepting his request because he came to her rescue, and she felt like he deserved it? Did she accept his request because she was hurt, and it felt nice to be wanted like that? Did she accept his request because of unresolved feelings for him?
"Why can't this be a medical problem…" Sakura grumbled to no one. "Why can't logic tell me what the answer is… Do I even know what I want?"
Her mind floated back to her actual date with Sasuke in search for answers. There was a particular conversation she had that she kept from Naruto.
FLASHBACK
"Well…" Sakura quietly said, using her willpower to ensure that not an ounce of moisture appeared in her eyes. "I guess it's better you tell me you will never love me in the same way I love you now, then dating for a while, getting my hopes up, only to let me down in the end."
"I'm sorry, Sakura." Sasuke replied. His face held its normal, stoic look. But there was something in his voice that made Sakura believe he genuinely was sorry.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. You can't control the way you feel." Sakura forced a weak smile on her face. "Besides, we're still teammates. It's not like you're going to drop out of my life. We can still be close friends."
"Can I ask you a question?" Sasuke asked, ignoring Sakura's statement.
"Of course you can. Friends ask friends questions all the time." Sakura replied, stressing the word "friends" more for her sake than anything else. She suppressed the bitter feeling of rejection that came when she used the word.
"Why do you love me?"
"Huh?" Sakura blinked in surprise. "Why are you asking that question now? I don't think it really matters anymore, does it. Unless you…"
"No, I'm completely sure of my feelings Sakura. I will never see you like that." Sasuke quickly clarified, making Sakura's shoulders sag slightly more. "I just want to know… why do you love me?"
"I don't know… I just do."
"Ok… let's try something else. When did you fall in love with me?"
"You know the answer to that. When we were kids, back in the academy! Damnit Sasuke, I guess I can accept being rejected… but if you have forgotten that, then I'm going to…" She started to growl.
"Calm down Sakura." Sasuke interjected. "Believe me, it would be impossible for me to forget. But I'm trying to help you answer my original question."
"You sure know how to handle a girl whose heart you just broke…" Sakura grumpily replied.
"I'm trying to help you here." Sasuke sighed. "I don't want to do this anymore than you do. But you're my teammate, and Naruto would kill me if he found out I left you like this. So just answer my questions."
"Left me like this?!" Sakura hissed. "And who said I need Naruto to kill you? I'm plenty strong enough on my own to do it. And the more you talk, the more I'm tempted to!"
"Do you trust me?"
"I shouldn't." Sakura replied. "But… you're Sasuke; you're my teammate. I trust you, even if it makes me crazy."
"Then trust that I wouldn't just wind you up like this to get a rise out of you. I'm not Naruto; I actually try to avoid pissing you off. Just answer all of my questions. If you still feel like killing me after you've answered all of them, you can beat me up until your heart's content."
"Fine."
"Good. So, what made you fall in love with me back then?"
"Oh come on, do I really have to answer this? You rejected me, now you want me to feed your damn ego?" Sakura groaned.
"This isn't for my benefit. I have a point I'm going to make here. Just answer the question."
"Fine. You were cute, mysterious and strong."
"Cute, mysterious and strong... So you fell in love with me because I was attractive, strong and you knew nothing about me?"
"What?! I knew plenty about you!"
"Like?"
"You were the best in our class. You were from a powerful clan. You…"
"None of those really have to do with who I am. Those are just things I accomplished. But, I suppose sometimes a person's accomplishments can draw someone to fall in love with them. But what made you stay in love with me?"
"Umm… I was around you all the time because we were teammates I guess. I got to know you better…"
"And what did you get to know about me that made you still love me?"
"You were brave. You protected us, and you secretly enjoyed our team's company."
"I see. So, we spent under a year together as a team before I abandoned everyone. What made you stay in love with me then? It's not like you knew me that well. How could you, when I ignored you during our time in the academy, and we didn't even spend a year together as a squad?"
"I… um…." Sakura blinked in surprise. "I stayed in love with you because… you're Sasuke!"
"There's that answer again." Sasuke smirked. "And you already know that's not an acceptable answer."
"Jeez, what are you, a therapist now?" Sakura ran her hands through her hair in frustration.
"I'm going out of my way to help you." Sasuke groaned. "Just answer the question."
"I don't know!" Sakura yelled in frustration. She dropped her head in embarrassment as other people in the restaurant looked her way.
"I don't know why I continued to love you all that time, or why I love you." Sakura said, much more quietly this time. "But that's the thing with love, you don't always know why. Sometimes you just love someone. And you don't have the right to question someone's feelings!"
"I didn't say I'm questioning your feelings. Ino has been dating Chouji for what… a year and a half now?"
"Yes… But I fail to see how that relates to this! Unless you're just trying to rub it in that I'm single. And if that's the case, you're an…"
"Again…" Sasuke said, holding up his hand to cut Sakura off. "I'm trying to help you here. Do you think Ino could tell you why she's in love with Chouji?"
"Of course she can. She's told me a million times!"
"Tenten and Lee have been dating since the war ended. Do you think they could tell you what they love about each other?"
"Lee yells it to the entire damn village every day. What's your point here?"
"My point is… those people all could tell you why they are in love with who they are. Yet, you can't tell me why you're in love with me. I'm not saying you don't believe you love me, because you're right. It's not my place to say that. I'm simply pointing things out to you."
Sakura stared at Sasuke in shock. Love wasn't a rational thing, and she just always accepted that she loved Sasuke.
"So what are you suggesting then? Hmm? What's your insight, Mr. Therapist?"
"Honestly? I'm not sure if you didn't convince yourself that you were in love with me this whole time."
Sakura opened her mouth for some sort of retort, but she had none. How could she argue that point? She couldn't even identify one real reason that she loved Sasuke.
"Ok, I did my duty. Naruto has no reason to bother me now. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave now."
"Whatever…" Sakura quietly replied.
"See you around." Sasuke took his leave, leaving Sakura to her thoughts.
FLASH IN
And so, until Naruto showed up, Sakura sat at the table by herself, still smarting from the sting of rejection and questioning her feelings. She kept trying to figure out what it was, exactly, that made her love Sasuke. She told herself that you don't necessarily need a reason to love someone. But she had heard Ino and Lee both prattle on about how much and why they love their significant others that it seemed hollow. You may not need a reason to love someone, but eventually you are able to say why you're in love. As you get to know someone, you're eventually able to nail down the things that attract you to them.
"Damn you Sasuke…" Sakura sighed. "Why couldn't you have just rejected me and leave. I would've been bummed like I am now, but at least I would've been able to easily move on. But noooo, you have to go be a therapist. And now I can't stop thinking about everything at 3 in the freaking morning…"
She rested her head against the cold window. The realization that she may have just been in love with Sasuke because she always told herself she loved him was daunting. It wouldn't be the first time that happened either.
Years ago, right before the war began, she followed Naruto all the way to Iron Country to confess her love. At the time, she thought Sasuke was a lost forever, and she genuinely did feel differently about her blonde teammate than she had in the past. Her plan was to give Naruto what he always wanted, and then remove the burden she placed on his shoulders as kids by putting an end to Sasuke on her own. She thought she was fine with the consequences of her plan at the time.
She wasn't sure if she loved Naruto, but she could see herself falling in love with him. Really, she couldn't think of a better person to spend her life with. But her plan fell to shambles. Naruto wasn't fooled by her for even a second. He got angry at her for not being completely honest, and then he ended up having to save her when she couldn't bring herself to put an end to Sasuke.
She regretted that decision greatly, but Naruto had forgiven her completely since then. Still… she couldn't help but think of what might have been if he hadn't seen through her that day. Would she have fallen in love with him? Would they be happy? Would she have just ended up breaking his heart when Sasuke returned?
She let out a sigh. Things were currently much more complicated than she would prefer. Her heart was stinging from Sasuke's rejection, but it would be stinging much worse had it not been for Naruto. And she couldn't fully identify why she so easily said yes to Naruto's date proposal, nor could she easily identify why she was in love with Sasuke. She cursed her mind for not giving her some much needed answers.
She could name every single part of a body and how exactly it worked without having to think hard, she knew the antidote to more than 500 different poisons and she knew more different healing techniques than she sometimes knew what to do with… Yet she couldn't figure out this simple answer. She needed this answer to make sure she wasn't doing the wrong thing.
After everything Naruto had done for her, the last thing he deserved was for her to break his heart. She wasn't a fool, she knew full well how he felt about her. She realized that she was often on the receiving end of looks from him that no other girl in the world received. And she chose Sasuke despite knowing all of that. Of course… she also thought she was in love with Sasuke when she made that decision.
So was it ok for her to go out with Naruto now that Sasuke was off the table? Just like years ago in the Iron Country, Sakura could still easily see herself falling in love with him. Really, he was everything she wanted in a partner… minus the ramen obsession, and he could be a little less loud… but no one was perfect. Still… she just got rejected by Sasuke. What kind of message was she sending to Naruto?
Her eyes widened at that thought. Just what kind of message was she sending? The instant Sasuke rejects her she decides to give him a chance? Was she basically telling him that he was her silver medal? She couldn't win Sasuke, the gold, so now she was going to go after Naruto… That thought sickened her. She would never think of Naruto like that. But still… what if that's what he thought? What if he thought she was just using him to get over her rejection?
She calmed herself down and forced her mind to stop going down that path. If that was the message she was unintentionally sending, it was the wrong damn message. She would fix that if it needed to be fixed later. She knew with 100 percent certainty that wasn't what she was truly doing. Naruto was different from Sasuke in most every way. She felt differently about Naruto than she did her other friends, and she felt differently about Sasuke than she did Naruto. If she could figure out what exactly it was that she felt for either of the two boys, she could finally shut her mind up and go to sleep.
For her next attempt to find some sort of answer, Sakura decided to think about the prospect of a date with Naruto. Her first instinct was that it was going to be weird… very weird. She had been friends with Naruto for so long that it was just going to be odd to be in a truly romantic situation with him. But that didn't necessarily put her off. Just because something would be weird didn't mean that it would be worth it. New things often feel weird at first; that was just a fact of life.
The thought of her upcoming date with the blonde actually excited her on some level. The selfish, superfluous part of her was excited to be on a date with who many women called the most eligible bachelor in Konoha. It also felt good having someone who was so interested in her. Just because Sasuke rejected her didn't mean there was anything wrong. She was still able to attract a great guy.
The unselfish part of her was excited to be on a date with Naruto, because god knows the guy deserved it. He had been quietly (and not so quietly) pining after her for so long, she couldn't wait to see how happy he would be. He was the kind of guy who, although he always appeared happy, would often put up a mask to keep people from seeing when he was hurt.
Deeper than all of that, however, was an excitement that Sakura just didn't fully understand. Something about maybe starting something with Naruto made her heart skip a beat (in a good way). She just couldn't say what that something was… What she did know, was that she did not feel this underlying excitement when Sasuke accepted her date request. She was certainly very excited, but there was nothing this…deep with Sasuke.
Really, the only negative thoughts or feelings that came to Sakura when she thought about her pending date with Naruto was the worry that this was all a huge mistake, and that she was just going to hurt him in the end. And so her mind remained stumped, unable to answer the very simple question she needed to be able to answer.
If she could identify how she felt about the two, she could say with 100 percent certainty if Sasuke's rejection impacted her decision to go on a date with Naruto. And she could say with 100 percent certainty if this was or was not a mistake.
"God damnit…" Sakura mumbled. She let out another frustrated sigh and leaned her head against the cool windowsill. If she couldn't come up with the answer she needed, she would just have to go on the date tomorrow, hope things became clearer and pray that she didn't hurt Naruto in the process.
It was funny the difference a day could make. 24 hours ago Naruto had been full of energy and working hard on a new variant of the rasengan. Yesterday afternoon's bright sunlight invigorated him. It made him feel alive. Now, 24 hours later, the sun was Naruto's worst enemy after he failed to get any real sleep last night.
He woke up late today, and forced himself to go outside in hopes that the fresh air would help clear his head. Puddles were all that remained from the night's thunderstorm, which had been his companion while he tried to figure out what to do about his impending date. Unfortunately for his exhausted mind, the fresh air and sunlight weren't doing him any favors.
He struggled to keep his eyes from squinting in the bright light, and he was just too tired to really enjoy the beautiful day. His mind remained just as addled as it had last night. He had five hours remaining until he had to go to Sakura's house to pick her up for their date. So he only had five hours left to figure this all out. The mere thought of a date with Sakura in just a few hours was enough to cause a spark of excitement deep within him, and he wanted to go on that date… But the guilt was still there, effectively pushing his excitement back and making him question his decisions.
"You look like absolute shit." A somewhat quiet voice said, causing Naruto to jump in surprise. He glanced behind him to see Sasuke, who had a slight smirk on his face.
"Damnit, Sasuke! Not cool! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Instead of yelling at me, maybe you should try paying attention to your surroundings in the future. You are supposed to be a ninja. And you're supposed to be my rival for the hokage position. It's not going to be much of a battle if people can surprise you so easily."
"Like you stand a chance." Naruto snorted. "I'm going to kick your ass and become the greatest hokage ever!"
"Like I would lose to you."
"You already have once!" Naruto smirked.
"And you lost to me many more times." Sasuke quickly countered.
"When we were younger! Things are different now." Naruto shot back. This little back and forth was starting to restore some of the energy in his body, and his mind was temporarily focused on his rival. "Maybe it's time I remind you of that… Let's go! You and me, right now!"
"You practically look like a zombie. I think I might accidentally kill you if we fought right now." Sasuke smirked.
"Oh cocky are ya? I'm just fine, thank you very much."
"Then how did I manage to easily sneak up on you, when I didn't mask my chakra in the slightest, nor did I try to walk softly?"
"I…err… you got lucky!"
"I'm sure. So, why didn't you sleep last night?"
Naruto stared at his friend, briefly pondering what to say. Sakura was just on a date with him last night after all. He rejected her… but still… it would be a little weird to be talking about going on a date with a girl that he was just with last night…
"If you don't say anything, I'm going to assume the worst. I think I'll go tell Sakura that you were taking after Jiraiya and writing some pervy novels." Sasuke said when it started to look like his friend wasn't going to say anything.
"NO! She would be so mad that she would kill me without even thinking to ask me if it were true or not!"
"Then start talking. Because if you don't, you're a dead man by the sounds of it."
"I… I ran into Sakura after your date. Well… ok, so I sort of went to the restaurant you were taking her. And I may have gone to it when I thought your date would still be in progress."
"Smooth. What genius plan did you concoct to explain that?"
"I sorta just made it up on the fly." Naruto admitted, sheepishly scratching his head.
"And why did you go?"
"I don't really know… Well, I do. But I don't really know what I was hoping to accomplish. And… you realize how damn weird this is talking with you about this, right? You did just reject Sakura last night."
"Hey, I'm not making you say anything. I don't mind going and telling Sakura you're secretly a pervy writer."
"I hate you." Naruto groaned. "But no matter the reason, I found Sakura last night, and she told me about everything."
"You're not going to yell at me for rejecting her, right?"
"No." Naruto replied. "You can't control how you feel, just like I can't control how I feel and she can't control how she feels. Although… your decision to reject her didn't have anything to do with me did it?"
"Of course not." Sasuke scoffed. "Do you actually think I want you impacting my love life?"
"Hah hah." Naruto sarcastically replied. "Well, anyways, after eating dinner with Sakura and talking with her about everything… I sort of asked her out."
"You don't mess around." Sasuke smirked. Naruto was starting to get real tired of that smirk.
"I didn't mean to! I just sort of…did. And she said yes… without any hesitation."
"And that kept you all night because… you were nervous?"
"No! Well… I'm nervous. But… I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing the wrong thing."
"Oh?"
"She was vulnerable last night. She loved you, and you rejected her. I should never have asked her out. What if she just said yes because she was so hurt?"
"What if she didn't?" Sasuke quickly countered.
"Then that would be a dream come true! But… what if she did! And… she just chose you over me. She just went on a date with you last night. How pathetic am I to be going out with her the next night?"
"The only thing that makes you pathetic right now is your indecision." Sasuke replied. "You're usually sure of your decisions. A hokage is sure of his decisions. This really isn't going to be much of a competition between us for the hokage position if you keep this up."
Naruto sighed. Sasuke was right. This indecision was unlike him. He was the type of person who made a decision and stuck by it. That was going to be what would make him a great hokage.
"You're right. This isn't like me. I should just make a decision and stick with it. You know Sasuke, you're a real stuckup bastard, but you're a good friend every now and then." Naruto smiled at his friend. Sometimes, it was hard to believe this Sasuke was the same man who had tried to kill him on multiple occasions. He was grateful his friend had come back to the light.
"I'll take that as a compliment I guess. Have fun on your date tonight."
"I'm not going on a date." Naruto replied.
"What?!"
"I need to make a decision and stick to it. I'm not going to risk taking advantage of Sakura. If this is meant to happen, it will happen when she's ready. Now I gotta go call the date off. Thanks again, Sasuke."
Sasuke watched his friend walk away with an annoyed expression on his face. Since returning to Konoha, he had been trying his best to help his friends and villagers in an effort to atone for his past mistakes. He especially wanted to make things up to Naruto and Sakura by helping them find happiness. The entire point of him going out of his way to talk to Naruto about all of that was to push the idiot towards Sakura. Just like the whole point of him going out of his way to talk to Sakura yesterday had been to push her towards Naruto. He could see that both of his old teammates were into each other.
"I tried." Sasuke grumbled underneath his breath.
You never truly appreciate sleep until you don't get enough of it. As a medic and ninja, Sakura endured many nights of little sleep. But none were quite like what she experienced yesterday. When she had sleepless nights at the hospital, she was running around healing people and saving lives. When she had sleepless nights as a shinobi, she was protecting her team from a surprise attack.
The sleepless night she had last night had no similar payoff. No lives were saved, no one was protected. The only thing she accomplished was to increasingly frustrate herself. And the lack of sleep certainly didn't help her mind at all. Her thoughts were slow and plodding, and they just continued to revolve in the same, tired cycle. How did she feel about Sasuke? How did she feel about Naruto? Was she going to hurt Naruto?
A knock on the door interrupted Sakura's thoughts. She shambled to the door and pulled it open.
"Wow, you look like shit." The person on the other side of the door said upon seeing her.
"And hello to you too, Ino. You're too kind. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see how your date went last night!" Ino said, grinning in excitement. She barged her way past Sakura to get inside. "Talk!"
"My date? Oh, you mean the occurrence where I met Sasuke at a restaurant, only to have him tell me he will never be romantically interested in me? It went just fine." Surprisingly, it didn't sting as much as Sakura thought it would to say that out loud.
"WHAT?! What an ass! Why would he even accept your date proposal then? When I see him…"
"He wasn't an ass about it." Sakura said, quickly interrupted her friend. Ino's angry reaction brought a smile to her face. Years ago, Ino would have rubbed the failed date in Sakura's face. But time had certainly changed them both, and Sakura was grateful for that.
"He was an ass for even accepting the date! He shouldn't have led you on!"
"I think he just wanted to get me alone to talk."
"To talk about how he doesn't like you? Oh yeah, that's not a dick move at all." Ino snorted.
"Actually, he tried to help me surprisingly enough. Sasuke made some good points that honestly have made me question a lot of stuff."
"Oh?"
"Sasuke asked me why I loved him, and why I stayed in love with him all these years. I didn't have an answer for him, Ino. I mean… you don't need a reason to love someone, but I couldn't come up with anything other than I just always was."
"Interesting. Well, if it helps, I had that same problem before I started dating Chouji. I thought I liked Sasuke too, but I couldn't really put a finger on why." Sakura perked up at Ino's words.
"And?"
"I thought a lot about it, and I talked to my mom a lot about it too. What I came to realize, is that sometimes we convince ourselves we like someone, and then we just keep thinking about them enough to keep ourselves convinced in our feelings. Maybe I had real feelings for Sasuke at on one point, but at some point in time, I just kept forcing myself to think about Sasuke so those feelings would remain strong. That realization really helped me decide to give Chouji a chance, and you know how that has worked out so far."
"That makes sense." Sakura mused, her mind starting to focus on the problem at hand. "That makes a lot of sense actually. Maybe… Maybe I'm the same way. Maybe I'm not going to hurt him…"
"Him?"
Sakura's eyes snapped back to Ino. "Naruto. I…err… well… He kind of rescued me last night. He found me while I was trying not to wallow in self pity, he let me vent to him, and then he managed to distract me and we enjoyed a nice dinner together. And then… well then he asked me out on a date for tonight, and I accepted without hesitation."
"WHOAH!" Ino gasped. "You don't waste any time!"
"I was afraid that maybe I just accepted his date because Sasuke rejected me. But if I wasn't really in love with Sasuke, then that isn't necessarily the case. I might not be hurting him now."
"No, you certainly aren't hurting Naruto by going on a date with him!" Ino grinned. "That's awesome! It's obvious how Naruto feels about you, and I've suspected that confession in Iron Country wasn't entirely a lie. You've been looking at him differently for the past few years. You should definitely go on this date!"
"Man look at us." Sakura smiled. "Years ago you would've been gloating about Sasuke rejecting me. Now you're helping me sort things out. I'm glad we aren't the same way we used to be anymore."
"Me too." Ino returned her friend's smile. "But you should take a nap. You don't want to go on your date with bags under your eyes!"
"You're right." Sakura replied. "A nap sounds amazing…"
"I'll leave you to it. Have fun tonight!"
"I'll be seeing you again tomorrow… won't I." Sakura noted.
"Of course! If you think I'm going to wait around for you to come to me to tell you about your date, you got another thing coming! Now go get some sleep! I can let myself out."
Sakura offered Ino one more smile before gratefully plopping down on her couch. Now that her mind was clearer, she had no difficulty falling asleep.
Knock knock knock!
The sound of his knuckles wrapping against Sakura's door did nothing to ease his nerves. He wasn't sure how we would artfully tell Sakura that their date was off because he thought she was too crushed after being rejected by the love of her life… He waited for a second, but nothing happened. So he decided to knock again.
Knock knock knock!
Inside the house, the sound of knocking stirred Sakura from her nap. Sunlight was still streaming through the window, so it couldn't be too late. She tiredly got up and answered her door, but her eyes widened in surprise when she saw who was on the other side.
"Naruto? Oh shit… it's not 7 is it? It's too bright to be 7…"
"It's not 7, Sakura. It's only 2:30." Naruto replied with a nervous look on his face.
"Oh. Well, not that I mind you stopping by, but why are you here? Our date isn't for another few hours. I guess if you want to get started early we can, but I need to get around so you'll have to…"
"No, nothing like that, Sakura." Naruto said, cutting off his beautiful teammate. Her stared at her for a second, silently marveling in her beauty. He still couldn't believe that such a beautiful woman actually agreed to a date with him. He wished their situation was different so he could actually go out with her tonight. Unfortunately, it wasn't. The beautiful pink-haired girl staring at him with a curious look on her face was vulnerable. He wasn't going to be the asshole that took advantage of her.
"I'm actually here to call off our date tonight."
"Oh… That's… unexpected." Sakura frowned. "Why? Did something come up?"
"No. It's just… you just went out on a date with Sasuke last night…"
"I get it." Sakura said. It appeared she was in fact sending Naruto the wrong message. "But let me make things clear. I didn't say yes to a date with you because Sasuke just turned me down. I would never do that to you. I can see how you would think that, but believe me. You're not a replacement for Sasuke."
Naruto stared at Sakura in shock. Of all the responses, that was the last response he was expecting.
"So, if that's the reason you're backing out, you don't need to now."
"That's not it." Naruto clarified, coming back to his senses. "Thank you for saying that… you have no idea what that means to me. But I still can't go out with you tonight. You're vulnerable right now, and if I go out with you tonight, I will be taking advantage of you."
"What? But…"
"I want to go out with you… I have for so long. But I won't let myself take advantage of you. If we're meant to be, we can find out when you're ready. I hope once you get over your loss that you'll still want to go out with me. But until then, I'll wait for you. When you're ready, if you still want to go on a date with me, you'll know where to find me. Have a good day, Sakura-chan."
Naruto turned around and started to walk away. For once, he was completely happy with his mouth. He opened it, not knowing what to say, and it actually worked out pretty well! It wasn't often that he said the right thing in these situations.
Sakura watched Naruto walk away with a disappointed frown. It was sweet of him to do this, but now that Ino helped her figure out her feelings for Sasuke, she was really excited for their date. She understood why he was doing what he was doing… Her frown turned upside down into a smile.
He was wrong. He thought she was vulnerable, he thought she was hurting, but she wasn't. Why grieve over false feelings? She could easily just let him walk away, and then ask him out in a couple of weeks. That would be the easy thing to do. He wouldn't question her after a couple of weeks. But the thing was… Sakura didn't want to wait.
"Oh no! You're not rejecting me too! Get your ass back here, Naruto!" Sakura hollered, causing him to freeze in his tracks. He quickly turned around with a panicked look on his face.
"I'm not rejecting you! Please don't think that. I just want to make sure I don't take advantage of you!"
"Well you're not." Sakura replied as he walked back to her door. She put her hands on his shoulders and flashed him a smile.
"You saved me yesterday, but I discovered some things about myself. So let me tell you a few things. First, I now know how I feel about Sasuke. I also know that the way I feel about Sasuke is different from the way I feel about you."
A brief look of disappointment flashed across Naruto's face.
"And that's a good thing for you. Assuming you still like me that is. Which, considering you asked me out on a date last night, I'm guessing is still the case."
"Of course I still like you! And…uh…I'm confused. How is it good for me that your feelings for Sasuke are different from your feelings for me?"
"Because I don't love Sasuke." Sakura smiled. "It took me a while to figure out. But at some point, I just started to convince myself that I loved him, because that was the way it had always been. So it's good for you. I know how I feel about Sasuke, but I don't really know how I feel about you. You're different, and I'm thankful for that."
Naruto stared at Sakura in shock. This was definitely not what he expected to happen when he came over here.
"I could still hurt you of course… But I know that I don't NOT love you. And I know that the thought of going on a date with you excites me. I know I could easily wait a couple of weeks and ask you out, but I don't want to wait that long. We've waited too long as is. So, you and I agreed to a date at 7 tonight, and we will be going on that date."
"Are you sure?" Naruto asked as a bright smile enveloped his face.
"I am. Now go home. I need to take a nap, and it looks like you do too! I don't want us both to be falling asleep during our date!"
"O-of course! I'll see you at 7!" Naruto quickly ran off, feeling more excited and happy than he had in quite some time. Falling asleep wouldn't be a problem now that his weary mind was completely clear.
Sakura closed her door and walked back to her couch. Her heart was beating extremely fast, but she was happy. She drifted asleep having a feeling that her date tonight would be much better than her date last night.
Fin! Hope you enjoyed, feel free to share your thoughts via review! -ND
