So sorry about the late update but my computer literally crashed and won't turn on... good thing for brothers who you can black mail into using theirs! ;)

Read and enjoy! (Reviews are nice too!) :)

Kendall was left standing in the middle of the training room with James by his side. His father had taken one look at their connected hands and left with a disgusted scowl. He had also muttered something under his breath but nobody heard him.

Now, Kendall was left with a broken heart. His father took that part that belonged to him, with him out the door, or, if Kendall really thought about it, he took it the first time he admitted his hatred for gay people. That day had been the worst on the boy, knowing that your father would never love you. It cracked his heart then, but worse now.

"Kendall, are you okay?" Carlos asked. He saw the way Kendall's father had reacted to James and didn't like it. Nobody will hurt his family. Kendall maybe the cool spy with all the training and a gun, but Carlos will stop at nothing if a soul on earth hurt his friends and family. Kendall looked hurt and that hurt him too.

"I will be," Kendall whispered as he let go of James hand and walked towards the door. "Come on, my mom and the guys should be in the briefing room." He didn't even look at the boys to make sure they were following, he just walked out with his head held high with sorrow and guilt.

James ran after him in a heart beat and Logan was about to follow, but Carlos stopped him.

"Carlos, we are gonna get lost!" Logan explained, "I am NOT getting lost in a building full of spies with guns."

"Shut up, did you see the way Kendall's father reacted to James when he grabbed Kendall's hand?" Logan nodded, where was Carlos getting with this? " He doesn't like James and I have this feeling that he would hurt him in an instant if it weren't for Kendall. He may hate gay people, but he doesn't want to lose Kendall either. I just have this feeling that... both of them are gonna get hurt, James the most. I'll be damned if I let that happen."

Logan let all this run through him before he looked towards the door. Carlos was right, the smart boy knew it, he just didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to think that Kendall's father would do such a thing to his own son, no matter what. "Alright buddy, we will keep an eye on James. Just, don't bring any of this up with Kendall. As far as I can tell, all he wants is to be perfect in his fathers eyes, but too stubborn to give up James. This isn't going to end well, I have the same feeling, but we can't really do much."

"But what about James! Shouldn't we at least tell him? He deserves to know.''

"Let's.. just go see where they are and let things work themselves out. If anything gets too bad we will step in, I promise.'' Logan assured the worried boy before pulling him out of the training room. He had no idea where he was going but they found the briefing room without too much trouble. Everybody was there including Arazonia, Jermony, and Strephan.

"Alright Kendall, you already know the basics of this mission, but as a review, there is a terrorist sending letters to the Secretary of State's son. This is a basic stalker case pretty much, but there is something different about this guy. In the letters, he uses a code that we cannot figure out. We have run it though every computer but we keep coming up short. You happen to be the best at decoding so that is what we need you to do first. I don't know if we need you in the field yet, but figure out the code and we will see." Jermany explained before turning back to the computer.

In this room there were computers lining up the walls with all sorts of different screens that the guys couldn't even count them all. Some were prevalence cameras and others were running some sorta tests. James and Mama Knight were sitting at a round table in a corner and Kendall was sitting next to James as he read the letters.

Kendall's expression scared Logan and Carlos. It was just blank, no emotion or facial expression showed. James look worried as he rubbed Keneall's back, but the blonde looked like he was ignoring the gesture.

Walking towards them, Logan and Carlos sat by Mama Knight. Things were quiet until some bodies stomach growled. Everybody looked towards Carlos, whom in return blushed.

"Sorry, just hungry." Carlos admitted as he looked down in his lap.

''Alright, I am gonna look at this back at the apartment Jermany, I'll call you if I figure it out. See you tomorrow." Kendall walked out again on the guys and Mama Knight before Jermany or Arazonia could stop him. James, again, chased after the boy while Mama Knight, Logan, and Carlos walked behind.

"I am so sorry about all of this you guys." Mama Knight said as they walked down endless hallways. "With Kenneth and all, this has to be hard."

"Harder for James and Kendall though,'' Carlos muttered, "How can a man so.. I don't know, but if was or is anything like what Kendall told us about his dad before, how could he hate his own son like this?"

"Kenneth is a very stubborn guy, he loves Kendall with all his heart-"

"He doesn't act like it, or show it for that matter." Carlos interrupted, "If he does anything to hurt Kendall or James, I can't promise that I wouldn't hurt him back. I may not be a spy or anything but I know how to hurt somebody and I will not hesitate to do that to him." Mama Knight was surprised from Carlos's out burst. She had never seen such a sweet boy like him be this way. Logan however, drug him away towards the SUV that Kendall and James were already waiting in. It looked as if James was trying to talk to Kendall but the boy ignored him.

''What am I gonna do?" Mama Knight whispered, this was a nightmare that she seemed to never wake up from.

~page break~

Mama Knight had ordered dinner for everyone when they got back to the apartment. Kevin was there, he challenged Logan and Carlos to a video game. Kendall had left straight for to his bedroom, locking the door before James could follow. Defeated, James slumped down in the kitchen by Mama Knight.

"James, I promise Kendall is gonna get through this." Mama Knight tried to assure the distressed pretty boy. "Give it time."

"Every since the training room, he has ignored me like I am the stranger! I didn't even know that he was capable let alone willing to do that to people! I know they might deserve it, but the Kendall I grew up to love would never even think about pulling a gun on someone. I still love him, but there was so much that he had to hide from me about his life that I just feel like I am in love with a complete stranger. How.. how are we gonna get through this if he isn't gonna talk to me?" James vented as he laid his head on the table. "I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"James, Kendall has had to hide this from everyone his whole life. Right now I bet it is just hard for him to open up to you. Just give him some time, okay? With you guys finding out the way you did probably scared him to death. Between Big Time Rush and the agency, that boy has tried his hardest to make sure that the two didn't collide to put you or the others in danger. He loves you guys, he loves YOU, too much to ever let any of this hurt you. You have to understand that he isn't that type of person to let go of something without a really good reason."

Sighing, the pretty boy stood up, "I know, think he would let me in his room?"

"Probably not."

"I'm gonna try because I am not going to let his asshole of a father stop me." James walked out of the kitchen before Mama Knight could react.

Before James was five feet from the door, it opened and Kendall stepped out, his eyes blood-shot and cheeks stained with tear tracks. The boy look wrecked and that just sent chills down James' spine. He really hated the man who Kendall calls his father.

"Jay Jay I'm-"

"Don't." James grabbed Kendall, pulling him into the bedroom and closing the door. "Don't say you are sorry because you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes I do!" Kendall sobbed. "I am not Kendall Knight any more! You love Kendall Knight, the person who won't hurt a fly in a blink of an eye! The person who would never dream of touching a gun, let alone fire it. I'm a monster!" The boy fell to the ground, melting in his own tears. "You don't love me any more and I understand why, just don't say it. If you say it, then I'm gonna break completely.."

Kneeling down, James cupped Kendall's face in his hands. Lifting it up so he could look at the bottle green eyes that he loved SO much.

Without a word, James gently pulled Kendall's face closer to his, closing the gab between their lips. When their lips touched a spark ran threw their bodies, igniting the same fire that they got from their very first kiss. James poured all the love and passion in that kiss. Kendall whimpered underneath the strong boy, he clung to James with shaking hands, expelling all the energy that he seemed to have left.

Pulling away, James rested his forehead on Kendall's.

"I love you." James whispered, Kendall started to shake his head, his hands were gripping James' wrist, he was about to pull away but James hung on. "I fell in love with Kendall Knight, but Kendall Knight and Kendall Schmidt are the same person. I don't care about anything that has happened in the last few days. You are my Kendall, I don't need a last name. Kendall is enough for me because I love you. The boy sitting in front of me now is who I love and there is nothing in this world that I am gonna let rip him away from me." Kendall looked at James and he has never looked so ripped open to him. Everything was out in the open now and Kendall couldn't hide the pieces any more. All the walls that he had built to make sure that his two worlds wouldn't touch are demolished, gone in the gun fire that he had left. James couldn't be serious about what he was saying.

"Prove it." Kendall whispered, "Prove you could willingly love something like me. A monster that grew up willing to kill, you can't possible love that."

"You are not a monster, the only monster is your father. I have already proven that I won't let you go, I'm not gonna let you fall, unless it is into my arms. I'm gonna be standing by you until that end."

"How? How have you proven any of that to me?"

"I haven't left. Not when a bullet almost hit Logan, not when you admitted to us you were a secret agent, not when your team stole us away, and not when your piece of ass father came into the picture. I'm still here and I'm pretty sure there is nothing that could pull me away, besides you. You have the power to push me away, and I will put up a fight, but I just want you to be happy. If I need to go, then I will. Tell me now if I need to go."

Kendall shook his head, "No! I love you."

"I love you too." James pulled Kendall up to his feet, as they stood there in each others arms, Kendall kissed him.

The kiss started off innocent, something that Kendall really needed. It showed all their love and compassion that had missed that last few days. Kendall had some cleaning up to do and this is the beginning of that road. James wasn't going anywhere and neither was Kendall.

Neither wanted to pull away even though the need for oxygen was becoming great. James lifted Kendall up and set him gently on the bed. Parting, he starred at Kendall and all he saw was the boy that he loved. He didn't care that he would shoot a person or harm a fly. The boy below him was his and he was going to prove it.

Does anybody else think that Camille's head looks big in the Big Time Rush season 4? I do and it looks sooo weird!