My friend wrote this after I told her about my blackberry stories. I would have written it, but she knows the characters in VIII way better than I know them! Hope you enjoy!
"Movin to the country… gonna eat me a lot of blackberries… movin to the country… gonna eat me a lot of blackberries… blackberries come from a can, they were put there by a man… in a factory downtown… if I had my little way, I'd eat blackberries every day! Nature's candy in my hand or can… or pie!"
Zell sang as he stuffed his cheeks full of berries, still singing and spewing indigo juice all over the floor of the cafeteria. Just as he swallowed and reached for his beloved hot dog (the lunch lady had set it aside just for him… he knew that it was a good idea to make friends with those old gals), his poser-tough-guy of a buddy strolled up with his blue-clad dame on his arm.
"That song is supposed to be about peaches, y'know," Squall mused.
"Aw, shut up!" Zell snapped as he took an angry bite of his frank, "Is it illegal to replace words in songs?"
Squall shrugged and glanced down at the blackberries. A flash of a half-smile appeared on his face. Rinoa looked up at him, concerned, knowing that something was stewing in that angsty mind of his.
"You do know that it's bad luck to eat pork with berries," he said.
"What?" Zell said through a full mouth.
"Zell, shut your mouth, that's gross," Rinoa scolded.
In defiance, Zell stuck out his tongue which was cloaked with clumpy bits of bun and processed pork. He added a mature, "Nyeeeeehhhh!" to finish up the gesture. Once Rinoa gave a satisfactory cringe and girlish squeal, he swallowed once more and looked up at Squall, slightly suspicious.
"And why can't I eat the berries with my hot dog?"
Squall suddenly gave a slightly terrified expression to add to his act, "That's the school ghost's favorite food. If you eat berries with hot dogs, he will be summoned and wreak havoc on whoever is eating his favorite food. He will not stop the chaos until he is fed," Squall explained.
"That's not true!" there was a slight stutter in Rinoa's voice, "Zell, don't listen to him."
"Oh, believe me," Squall warned, sounding a bit nervous, "The last person who ate hot dogs with blackberries… have you heard of Bobby Sherman?"
"No…" Zell said, also beginning to become afraid. His palms began sweating.
"Exactly," Squall whispered harshly.
"Squall…" Rinoa muttered. She rubbed his arm softly.
Squall turned, being his usual ominous self, "It's too late for him," he told Rinoa, "I've done all I could to warn him. Come on, my puppy-dog."
The two left, still arm in arm. They were such an awkward couple. Puppy-dog? Was that the best Squall could come up with? And when did they even become a thing? Squall only started liking her after she went into a coma. He hated her average-pretty guts before that. Zell didn't know who was out of whose league, but they were totally a weird duo. After his little head-rant, Zell continued stuffing hot dogs and berries in his mouth, only slightly fazed by Squall's (totally made-up) warning.
"You there!"
Zell just about jumped out of his seat when a ghastly form of a massive man appeared before him. The figure was slightly transparent. It was in fact a ghost!
"Gimme your hot dog! And dem blackberries, too!" the enormous, steroid-charged, black velvet, gun-armed man bellowed.
Zell dropped his frankfurter on his tray, not taking his wide blue eyes off of the machine gun that was pointed at his head. The black, white-haired, old ghoul tried to take the hot dog off of the plate, but wasn't able to lift it up at all because… well, he was a ghost. Ghosts can't eat hot dogs. Everyone knows that.
In a fit of fury, the monstrous man hollered profanities and shot at Zell, only to have the adolescent squeak and cower. The ghost bullet went straight through Zell's head. Although it moved through material objects without even leaving a mark, Zell could feel the cold chill of death in that bullet.
Poser-cowboy Irvine had nothing on this guy!
The man grunted angrily and left, seeing that he had no effect on the human world and he disappeared into the cafeteria.
Startled by the gunshot and curious to see what had happened, Zell's lifelong rival, Seifer, stepped inside the now silent cafeteria with his long gunblade drawn. He lowered it, seeing that Zell was sitting alone and (other than that ridiculous tattoo… he regretted getting that) his face was about as white as mayonnaise. The blonde shook violently, still not too sure about what he had seen.
Before walking out, annoyed that he had missed the action, Seifer looked at Zell with a sneer and grumbled, "Hmph, chicken-wuss."
Yes, the ghost is supposed to be Barret Wallace. He just looks old because he died of old age however long ago. Yay jumbled timelines!
