I'll say this one more time. I DON'T HATE KALEL. This is just a story. She is just a character. None of the characters' behaviors express how the people really are. Just a story!
Kalel answered the door on the first ring, Buki in her hands. "Hi, baby!" she exclaimed, ushering him in, "you decided to come home early. I guess you're ready to apologize...?"
Anthony frowned and shut the door. "Actually, no. I'm still pretty upset with you, Kalel. But...there's something I have to ask you. It's going to make you mad, but it's important." Kalel frowned, dropping the cat. "It's a real shame that you don't wanna apologize.
Anthony rolled his eyes, annoyed that she had ignored his final statement altogether. "I talked to Melanie today and-"
Kalel sneered. "And what did she tell you? Fill your head with a bunch of lies again. What? She couldn't have Ian so she wants to claw herself into you, too? That bitch-"
"Kalel!" Anthony interjected, "that is not what happened at all."
She looked up, her green eyes cloudy. "Well, what was I supposed to think?"
Anthony shook his head, rubbing his temples.
Kalel looked up at him. "What is it, Anthony?"
"Melanie told me to come talk to you about Ian," he said, resting his hand on her shoulder, "what does that mean?"
Kalel made a face. "I...I don't know, Anthony. She's stupid, remember?"
Anthony could tell from his wife's reply that she knew much more than what she was letting on. "No Kalel, I know that she meant something by it because she was so serious. I've never seen her act that way before."
Kalel sighed, looking down at the floor.
"So what is it, Kalel?" Anthony prompted
She looked away, wrapping her arms around herself, as if she were cold. "I...Ian called you back when we were in Hawaii," she whispered.
Anthony raised his eyebrows. "He called me back? What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb!" she snapped, "I know that all you did while you were on your phone was call and text him. It wasn't 'Smosh stuff' like you kept telling me. I'm not stupid, Anthony."
He knitted his brows and shook his head. "Yeah, I called him. I was worried about him, Kalel. He looked so upset at the reception!"
She snorted. "Yeah, well, one morning when you were in the shower, he called while I was vlogging. I let it go to voicemail because, you know, no one bothers to leave voicemails anymore. But dumbass Ian did. He left you a voicemail," she raised her voice to mimic Ian, "I really need to talk to you An-Anthony! It's really important, call me back, please!" She glared at Anthony with a disgusted expression painting her face.
He remained silent, shocked at his wife's actions. "So...you let Ian call me, beg me to answer the phone, didn't answer him, and never told me."
"I never told you because I knew what he was going to say," Kalel said, "it's the same goddamn thing Melanie told me a year ago!"
Anthony swallowed. "And just what was that, Kalel?"
She gave him a hard look. "That Ian's in love with you."
The brunette's hands began to shake and his iPhone dropped out of his hand. That can't be true, Anthony thought to himself, we're both guys. I'm his best friend, I'm-
But then he stopped, thinking back. The way that Ian had hugged him today, so desperately. It wasn't just that, though. His head began to spin as he recalled so many instances that made what Kalel was saying true. The quick touches, the glances that lasted a little too long, the eagerness for the 'Ianthony' videos they made sometimes for their crazy fans. There was also that one afternoon, three years ago when he and Ian had had a very awkward staring contest while shooting 'Lunchtime with Smosh.' Due to the size of their camera's lens, they'd had to get incredibly close so as to both be in the shot. Their faces were literally inches apart, and though they laughed, Anthony had jokingly made a comment about Ian not going in to kiss him. After that, Ian got quiet and they hadn't really talked for the rest of the day. Anthony had thought that Ian was just being moody. Perhaps he'd thought wrong.
He knew that what she was saying had to be true. It all added up, now that he was thinking about it. It perfectly explained Ian's behavior at the wedding and his overdose. It really was all because of Anthony.
Heart pounding, Anthony's eyes swept up to meet Kalel's. The seriousness there startled him.
"It's pathetic, really," Kalel went on, Anthony barely registering her words, "like, what the hell? You've been best friends since high school and you do Smosh together. You have me and he had Melanie, which I see now why he dumped her, she's awful-"
"Wait," Anthony interjected, "you mentioned earlier that Melanie told you something before. Was it...It was about Ian's feelings?"
The sentence felt alien and wrong, but he didn't know what else to call it.
She nodded. "She kept trying to tell me that Ian was in love with you, but I wouldn't believe her. Then she said that Ian was getting worse, mentally. She begged me to help her because she'd sworn not to tell you anything about Ian, but I, apparently could. I told her to shove it all down her throat and leave us alone. Apparently, she couldn't do that."
Anthony closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in anger. He wondered how he hadn't broken a tooth yet. "You knew about Ian. You knew how he felt and you knew how depressed he was. And you didn't say a goddamn word to me?!"
Kalel shrugged. "We were supposed to get married, Anthony. What else was I supposed to do? Throw it all away for some idiot that you won't be spending much more time with, anyway?"
"Won't be spending much more time with?" Anthony asked, "what the hell does that mean?!"
She chuckled, shrugging. "I don't figure you will be doing Smosh much longer, what with the distance, Ian's behavior, and because of us. But don't worry, there's always WULAS. People really like it and they'll learn to live without Smosh."
Anthony put his face in his hands and took a deep breath before dropping his arms to his sides and glaring at Kalel. "Let's get one thing straight here, Ian is my best friend in the world. He is and has been for a very long time. For a while, he was the only person on this Earth that I could trust and be myself with. And if you can't appreciate that, I will not remain married to you, you got that?"
This was obviously not what his wife had been expecting, because her mouth opened and she furrowed her brows. "Anthony, puh-lease-"
"No," he snapped, "I want you to listen to me and I want you to listen good. Never again, will you ever make a decision for me. My phone is mine and my messages are mine. Smosh isn't going to end as long as we have fans and you know that. I don't care if we only have one goddamn person watching our videos, it'll still be on. I'm not quitting just because you want me to!"
"Fine," she hissed, turning away from him. Her eyes directed toward one of the many paintings that decorated their house.
Anthony frowned. He could tell just from Kalel's behavior that there was something she was hiding from him. Her shoulders were hunched, her brows furrowed, and she kept pushing her glasses (that she didn't really need to see) up on the bridge of her nose. She was antsy and wouldn't look him in the eye.
"What is it?" he asked her.
Without turning around she repeated, "what is it?"
Anthony clenched his fist tighter. "What aren't you telling me?"
Kalel shook her head. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."
Now, Anthony was certain that something else had happened. Certainly, it involved Ian, he just didn't know what it could be. "What else happened, Kalel? I know something did, so you might as well just tell me."
Kalel took a deep breath, never turning around. "I told Ian, when I talked to him, that he shouldn't call you anymore. That I knew how he felt and it was stupid for him to even think about you that way. He told me that he knew I hated him, but I really should let him talk to you...," she trailed off.
"And?" Anthony asked, glaring at her back.
She didn't reply, wrapping her arms around herself again, needing some kind of comfort. "Anthony, is this really necess-"
"Yes, it is!" Anthony exploded, "I swear to God, Kalel, tell me what you told Ian! What did you do to set him off?! Tell me, goddamn it!"
Kalel spun herself around, her glasses falling to the white, plush carpeting beneath their feet. "I told him to go kill himself, okay?!"
Anthony eyes widened as much as humanly possible and his fists clenched. Immediately, a monstrous pain, reminiscent of a deep, fiery burn spread throughout his chest. How could his wife have said something so cruel, so horrendous, to Ian.
His Ian.
And at that moment, Anthony could have laughed because everything was so clear to him. It was as if he were a blind man that had finally gotten his sight and was seeing everything for the first time. Kalel was a disgusting, horrific person.
But it simply didn't matter, anymore.
She didn't matter anymore.
Ian was the only person that mattered now.
Surprising her, Anthony looked right at his wife and gave her a huge beam. "Kalel, you are a evil, conniving, soulless monster, but you know what? It's okay."
"Anthony, I just didn't want him to ruin our relationship!" she screamed, stomping her feet.
"He didn't," Anthony corrected, "you did."
"Wh-what?" she stammered, biting her lip.
Anthony nodded, still smiling. His cheeks were pink and his dimples were showing deeply. "You may be a terrible excuse for a human being, honey, but you made me realize something. And that something is that I don't wanna be married to you. I wanna be with Ian." Giddily, he bent down to pick up his phone and slid it into the front pocket of his jeans.
Kalel's eyes widened. "No Anthony, wait, please listen to me. I can ex-"
Anthony shook his head, smiling widely. "It's done. We're done. I'm gonna go be happy now." His right hand reached to his left one and he slid his wedding band off, tossing it at Kalel's feet. "Anthony!" she screamed, "stop it! You're being an idiot!"
He chuckled, hand on the doorknob. "Bye, Kalel. Burn in hell."
Anthony walked out of the house, his wife's screams still emanating through the walls.
But all he could hear was the sound of freedom.
Of sweet, sweet happiness.
