There was only silence in the room as Callie watched Arizona who, in turn, only watched her back. She was struck simultaneously with silence and a kind of bewilderment – even moreso due to Arizona's calm demeanor. The blonde retained an air of solemnity, and her features only seemed to suggest that she was entirely serious. She did not crack a smile or fall into a fit of laughter, as Callie thought people often did after such vulgar jokes. No, her silence suggested total seriousness in her statement. Callie scoffed.
"You're an idiot," she declared.
At that, Arizona raised her eyebrows in something like amusement or confusion, Callie couldn't quite tell, and felt as though she could not read her expression. Arizona said nothing, but only watched her silently.
"What a terrible joke," Callie spat.
"Not to mention totally inappropriate."
Arizona only stood at the window, watching her from a comfortable distance, while leaning back on the ledge. Her blonde hair and blue eyes seemed to illuminate in the dim light of the hospital room. She stood silently next to the white lilies, then crossing her arms, waiting for Callie to continue. She looked so alive.
"I just opened up to you and then you decide to make a joke like that?" Callie spat, fumbling with the hospital sheets, as if she were going to toss them at her.
She was infuriatingly exhausted, and the woman's joking only spurred on her anger. She'd been sitting in a hospital bed for days, recovering slowly – feeling dreadfully lonely and reflecting on what brought her there in the first place. And now she'd finally been able to express her thoughts honestly, she'd finally been ready to lay her insecurities out in the open, yet this woman seemed to stomp on them – to make fun of them. She felt mocked.
"I wasn't joking," Arizona replied.
"I almost died," Callie told her.
"Well, you're not dead," Arizona retorted.
Callie narrowed her eyes as Arizona stood up and walked over to her.
"But you are?"
"I am."
God, she couldn't take this nonsense.
"Get out. And don't come back."
"Calliope."
"It's Callie, Callie. Now get the hell out!"
Arizona watched her for a moment. She nodded her head, turned around, and left through the door, shutting it softly behind her.
A dead woman leaving through the door, Callie thought.
How stupid.
###
"Feeling better?" Mark asked her.
"Much," she replied.
He grinned at her – then walking over to the window ledge to grab a chair. He briefly looked outside, then to the table against the window, examining the lilies in the vase.
"So the snow flurries are finally letting up. The snow's been melting away thanks to the sun. The temperature's been going up. It's lovely," he said, bringing the chair over to her bedside. He turned it backwards and sat on it, putting his legs on either side of the chair and folding his arms against the back, using it as an armrest.
"Uh-huh.." Callie murmured.
"Who brought the flowers?" he asked, grinning.
"Blondie did," she told him.
"Thought so. She's going hard. Get in your pants yet?" he coaxed.
Callie rolled her eyes at him and sighed.
"Blonde told me she was dead so I told her to get out."
"Say what?"
"She joked that she was dead."
"That's a weird joke."
"It's a stupid joke," Callie spat.
"Maybe her sense of humor just sucks," Mark suggested.
"She's an idiot. I almost died."
"She did bring you flowers."
"Come on, Mark. You haven't met her. That's not something you say to someone you've just met."
"True. Maybe she's just bad at getting to know someone."
"Stop trying to defend her."
"I'm not, I'm not. It's a good thing, you know… maybe she's interested in you and maybe it's a misunderstand-"
"Shut up. I'm not some lonely old maid that needs to get laid. Stop treating me like that."
"That's not what I meant, Cal. I'm sorry, you're right."
Callie sighed and leaned back on her bed, folding her arms behind her head.
"When the hell can I go back to operating?"
"After you get discharged. It'll be soon."
"Yeah… I guess."
Callie silently stared up at the ceiling while Mark watched her. She looked fine, she seemed to be recovering nicely and it wouldn't be too soon before she'd be back to normal, he thought.
"She doesn't have friends here," Callie suddenly started to say.
"Blondie?"
"Yeah. She said no one knows that she's here. Maybe she's just bad at making friends, like you said."
"Probably. Like I was saying, maybe it's just a misunderstanding."
"Maybe," Callie thought. But she had seemed so friendly, so kind to Callie during her recovery – making sure that she was alright. She'd been attentive to all of Callie's needs… but she had looked so serious when making that vulgar joke. Something about it had struck Callie as odd.
"Her name is Arizona," she told him.
"That's a weird name."
"It is, isn't it?"
###
She really didn't come back, Callie thought. She ran her fingers through her hair. She had slept uncomfortably, for Arizona seemed to have taken over her thoughts. She wondered what had been going through her head when she'd told her that. Callie hadn't shared much information about her to Mark. Instead, she asked him about Lexie and watched as his face lit up, ecstatic to share all of the details about their relationship. She couldn't bother her friend with meaningless jabber about a woman she barely even knew.
Callie threw the hospital sheets off of her and forced herself to get up. She'd probably have to go to physical therapy after such an accident, but she felt well enough to get up on her own. She put her two feet on the floor and got off the bed slowly, reaching out her hands to maintain balance. She slowly walked her way to the bathroom, smiling to herself. Recovery would go smoothly, she wouldn't have to be in physical therapy that long, after all.
She couldn't wait to be discharged. She wouldn't be a patient anymore. She'd be walking the halls as a doctor. She'd be badass again. Badass Callie Torres.
###
Callie had felt lonely. Better in regards to her physical state, but she'd felt lonely and she wasn't sure why. She thought it must have been Arizona – the way she came in like a sudden ray of sunshine, then simply leaving. She was a breath of fresh air in Callie's increasingly dismal life.
Callie watched as Mark dumped the withered lilies into the trash can.
"Hey!" Callie protested.
"What? They were dying."
He picked up the sunflowers Lexie had bought for her earlier and fixed them in the vase. Callie simply sighed and shifted her gaze to the doorway. Her eyes opened in surprise as she saw Arizona standing there, watching her.
"So blondie never came back? Thought she'd bring you more flowers."
Arizona said nothing, but simply walked over to the window, watching as Mark neatly arranged the new, fresh set of flowers in the vase.
"She's here right now, you goof."
"Huh?" Mark mumbled, shifting his gaze to the doorway.
Callie's eyes widened – he looked right through Arizona as if she were not there, directing his attention to the open, vacant doorway.
"Where is she?"
"Uh."
Arizona watched in amusement as Mark looked at the doorway, turning his head to see if someone was standing by the edge of the door or in the hallway. But he saw no one. Arizona continued to watch Mark, then, she turned her gaze to Callie.
"You see? He can't see me," she told her.
Callie narrowed her eyes at the blonde.
"You're not funny, Mark."
"Huh?" he asked, looking back at Callie.
"Neither are you, Arizona," she scoffed, now directing her attention to the blonde who only watched her with a kind of sadness etched in her eyes.
Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at the vacant spot next to him, to where Callie was directing her attention.
"I really don't like this joke," Callie groaned.
"What are you-"
"Get out, Mark."
"But, Cal-"
"Just get out."
He watched her confusedly – her gaze was still lingering on the empty space next to him. He shrugged his shoulders, maybe she was upset with him for the lilies. Maybe he'd been too nonchalant with everything, trying to lighten her mood.
"Okay…" he murmured,
Arizona moved over to the window ledge and crossed her arms, watching Callie in silence again as Mark started to leave.
"You too, Arizona."
Mark briefly turned to look at Callie, only to find her staring at the window ledge, her gaze fixed on nothing in particular. He scratched the back of his head and left her there.
"He didn't see me," Arizona said, breaking the silence.
"Leave," Callie demanded.
Arizona sighed and exited through the doorway.
"By the way, dead people don't use the door!" Callie called out to her departing form.
###
"So, the big day is almost here. How are you feeling, Callie?"
"I feel just fine. Amazing, actually. I feel amazing. So discharge me already!" Callie growled.
Derek watched as she tangled her feet in the sheets – clearly, she couldn't keep still. She was eager to just get going.
"Soon," he laughed.
"How soon is soon?" Callie asked him.
"Very soon, believe me," he told her.
"By the way, I've set you up with a physical therapist for two weeks. He'll determine the rest but it's important that you attend so that you'll be cleared for surgery."
"I have to wait two weeks!?" Callie groaned.
"It's a slow process, Callie."
Callie sighed again, she felt as though she'd been doing that much too often. She watched as Derek scribbled some notes on his chart, probably regarding the physical therapist. At least she wouldn't be confined to the hospital bed for much longer, she thought briefly. Her attention was suddenly caught by the whisk of blonde hair at the doorway. Arizona walked over to her usual spot, while Callie eyed her intently.
"Back again? I thought I'd told you to leave."
"What?" Derek asked, looking up at her from his chart. He followed her gaze to the window behind him – but he hadn't seen anyone. He looked back at her.
She looked up at him.
"Tell her to leave."
"Tell who to leave?" Derek asked.
"Ugh," Callie groaned.
"Callie?"
"So you're in this too, huh?" she asked.
"What?"
"She's right there," Callie said, pointing at Arizona.
Derek turned his gaze, once again, to the window ledge behind him.
"Um, Callie…" he started to say.
Callie narrowed her eyes at Derek, almost baffled by his disregard to Arizona's presence. She was convinced that Derek was in this, as well.
"Real mature, Derek."
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing. When you're done, shut the door behind you."
"Uh. Alright."
Callie laid back on the bed, watching Arizona again, then closing her eyes, determined to ignore the persistent woman. She couldn't believe that Derek would be in on Mark's joke, as well. Was it all just a plot to hook the two up? She covered her head with the hospital sheets.
"Callie," she heard.
"Just get out, Arizona."
She heard the door shut, then peeked her head out. But Arizona was still there. Apparently, Derek had left just then. She cursed under her breath. Arizona opened her mouth to say something.
"Shut up," Callie said.
The blonde said nothing but turned to leave, and this time she left the door wide open.
"Ugh."
###
Callie awoke to a number of hushed voices outside of her doorway. She briefly determined that they were, in fact, Derek's and Mark's voices. Now she'd catch them in the act. She listened intently to their conversation.
"I think there's something wrong with her," she heard Mark say.
"She's seeing someone, but there isn't anyone there," he continued.
Callie opened her mouth to say something, but was cut-off by Derek's response to Mark.
"I know, I heard her, too."
"She's totally serious about it," Mark continued.
"Are you sure?"
"Should we get a scan?" he asked.
"Maybe we should."
"Maybe we should consider psych," Derek started to say.
Callie's eyes widened. No, no, they weren't joking, after all.
"No, no. We just need a scan first."
"There was nothing wrong, her head injuries weren't severe."
"Do it anyway," she heard him say.
She quickly covered her head with the hospital sheets, feigning sleep. She heard them scuffle into the room and pretended as though she was roused by the noise of them entering the room.
"Hey, how are you feeling, Callie?" Derek asked her.
Mark only watched her from behind him.
"Good. A little sleepy. This bed is so uncomfortable," Callie told them.
"Cal, we're going to take you for a sca-" Mark started to say.
"I can't believe you two fell for that joke!"
"Huh?"
They both watched as she feigned laughter, pointing at them accusingly.
"That was priceless. Since Mark thought I've been such a debbie downer lately, I thought maybe I'd play a little joke, so I made up a blonde doctor named Arizona. Bet you thought I was going crazy, huh?" Callie laughed.
Derek was speechless, but Mark only grinned at her.
"That was a pretty dumb joke, Cal," he laughed.
"We were actually worried," Derek said.
"Well, no need to be. It's your fault for thinking that I'm some lonely old maid, Mark."
"Sorry, Cal."
"Er… anyway," Derek cut in.
"Let's get those papers filled out so that we can get you started on physical therapy."
"Sounds great!" Callie exclaimed.
###
Callie watched Arizona, who again, only watched her from the window. They stared silently at each other, Callie overwhelmed with uncertainty.
"Come here," she told her.
Arizona obeyed and walked up to Callie, seating herself on the chair beside her bed. Callie reached out and touched her cheek, running her fingertips down to her jaw. She felt unbelievably smooth and soft against Callie's touch.
"I can feel you."
"You can," Arizona told her.
"You're dead."
"I'm dead," Arizona agreed.
"So why can I feel you?" Callie asked her, sitting up and putting her hands on either side of Arizona's cheeks. She looked into her bright blue eyes and watched as Arizona blinked. She moved her hands down to her neck and felt her pulse. She brought her hand under her nose and felt her breathing.
"Why can I feel you?" Callie asked her.
"I don't know," Arizona answered.
Suddenly, Callie pulled back.
"You're not there…" she started to say.
Arizona moved closer to her, as if wanting her to acknowledge her. For so long, Callie had been rejecting her – rejecting the prospect of her – though Callie had tried to convince Mark and Derek that she was there, she wasn't. And now that Callie had finally realized that Arizona was, in fact, not there, she started to back away.
"Callie," she said.
"You're not there!" Callie exclaimed.
"But you see me, you see me."
"Because I'm crazy and no one else sees you! But you're not there."
"You see me, Callie."
"No, no.." Callie murmured, pushing Arizona's hands away, as she reached out to her. She looked at the blonde woman – she almost seemed desperate, desperate for Callie's acknowledgement. There was desperation and hurt in her bright blue eyes.
"Prove to me that you're real," Callie said.
Arizona only watched her.
"Prove it to me!"
Arizona leaned over her and reached down, swiftly moving her hands to grab her cheeks. Callie felt blonde hair tickle her face as Arizona lightly pressed her lips against hers. It was soft – her lips were so soft against Callie's and Callie instinctively pulled her in tighter, kissing her again. She let go of her as Arizona started to pull away, her hands still on either side of Callie's face.
"…Is that real enough for you?" she whispered.
Callie's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the blue eyes that were observing her own with such intensity.
"I-I think so…" Callie whispered back, almost pulling her in for another kiss.
Arizona pulled away from Callie and sat back down on the chair as Callie sat up on the bed again. She pushed her hair back and looked at Arizona – just taking her in. She was definitely there. She had felt her. She wasn't alive, she was dead. But there she was, breathing, blinking, watching – kissing her.
She was in her dreams too. Most recently – though Callie could not recall any of them aside from the dream she had about the crash.
The crash.
"Oh god," Callie gasped.
"What?" Arizona asked, as Callie looked at her with bewilderment.
"Oh god. Oh god, did I kill you? I was dreaming of you standing next to the car and now you're haunting me, oh god."
Arizona was baffled, she had not expected that response from Callie.
"Callie-"
"Now you're haunting me cause I ran you over, oh god, I killed you, didn't I?" Callie cried. Tears began to stream down her face as guilt overwhelmed her.
Oh god, she had killed the beautiful woman that sat next to her.
"Callie!"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Callie cried, covering her face with her hands.
Arizona sat on the bed and reached out, pulling Callie's hands from her face.
"Callie, Callie."
Callie shook her head, struggling to keep her hands steady.
"Callie, look at me."
Callie hesitated for a moment, though her incessant sobs had faltered by the woman's voice. She pulled her hands away and watched Arizona as she took her hands and held them in her own.
"I've been dead for a long time, Callie. You didn't kill me," she said, softly.
"Really?" she croaked.
"Really."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Okay…" Callie murmured, hesitantly.
Arizona smiled at her and Callie couldn't help but smile back, nodding her head gratefully as Arizona handed her a cup of water. Callie drank it and watched Arizona, who got up from the bed and sat down on the chair again.
"How did you die?"
"I just died, that's all."
"When?"
"A long time ago."
"Okay…"
They sat in silence – comfortable silence for once, as Callie absorbed the reality of her situation. Arizona was dead. She was dead. But Callie had not killed her. Yet after her accident, she had suddenly started to see the dead woman. However, Callie had not sustained any brain injury. So why was she seeing her now?
She looked up at Arizona, who was now leafing through a magazine that was sitting on the hospital table. She watched as the woman scrunched her face in confusion. She laughed under her breath, watching Arizona flip through the pages in, what seemed to her, disbelief.
"What's so shocking?"
"Huh?"
"The magazine."
"Oh, I don't really get it," Arizona told her, dismissing it.
She shut the magazine and tossed it back on the hospital table. Then she folded her hands on her lap and smiled at Callie – a wide, dimpled smile.
"So why did you come back?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did you come back when I told you not to?"
"Because I felt your loneliness."
"You can read my mind?"
"No. I can't read your mind or anyone else's. But I can sense what people are feeling. Most of all, I can sense what you're feeling. Because you see me. And I can touch you. I can't touch anyone else, but I can touch you. And even when you don't want me near you, I can have a sense of what you're feeling. After you told me to go, I felt your loneliness after a while. And I came back. And your friend happened to be there."
"Oh…"
"S-so you knew I was lonely, then?" Callie asked, meekly.
"I felt it, yeah."
"O-oh."
"Was it because of me?" the blonde asked.
"Huh?"
"Were you lonely because I left?" Arizona asked.
"I was. I think I was."
Arizona smiled at her and stood up.
"Are you leaving?" Callie asked her.
"There's nowhere to go. I'll be back. I think you need the sleep."
"You'll come back?"
"I'll come back."
"When?"
"When you're awake."
"But-"
"I'll know when you're awake, Callie. Have a good rest," she told her.
Callie nodded and watched as Arizona again, departed through the door, shutting it gently behind her. She leaned back and closed her eyes – absorbing what had just happened.
So… she's a ghost.
Callie laughed. It all seemed so ridiculous. She'd been kissed by a ghost.
But why did she exit through the door? Callie thought briefly, but it was a passing thought as she fell into what had finally been a deep, and much needed, sleep.
