Thinking about jumping to an M rating, would you all be up for that?


Callie laughed aloud at the silly antics on the television screen, leaning back comfortably on the couch, her legs stretched out on the coffee table in front of her. Her laughter was quickly followed by her best friend's, who'd been with her, it seemed, for the entirety of last night as well as the majority of the day.

"You know…" she started to say, glancing over to the man who sat next to her.

"Mm?" he grunted, his attention still fully on the television screen.

"I'm good now. You don't have to worry about me anymore," she said, "besides, isn't Lexie gonna be upset that you're spending so much time here?" she asked.

Mark looked over at Callie, the same grin he held from before plastered on his face. She'd been seeing that so often now and couldn't help but feel glee for the older man.

"She gets it. Besides, she's been busy scoring surgeries lately. We haven't had much alone time lately, it kinda sucks, but what can you do when you're two very busy doctors in love?" he explained.

"Love?" Callie gasped, her eyes widening at her best friend's proclamation.

Mark flushed and turned his attention back to the television screen, stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Yep," he said, though it came out as more of a grunt due to the food in his mouth.

"Wow! I never thought I'd see the day!" Callie exclaimed, patting him on the shoulder.

Mark swallowed the food in his mouth and glared at her, pushing her hand from off his shoulder.

"I loved Addison too, you know. And I love Lexie now, much more than I've ever loved anything in my life," Mark declared, "I am a man capable of love! Don't be so shocked!"

Callie laughed and leaned back on her side of the couch, eyeing the embarrassed older man.

"I'm happy for you, Mark," she said.

"Thanks," he grinned, looking back at her.

Callie glanced back at the television screen, then looked over at the clock. She had another appointment with her physical therapist soon.

"Now we just need to find you a pretty lady," Mark suddenly said, "so we can both be happy and in love!"

"I'm pretty content right now," Callie replied, sitting up on the couch, not meeting his gaze.

"You seem that way. Have you had your eye on someone lately?" he asked her, dusting scraps of popcorn from off of his lap.

Callie thought back to Arizona and the moment of her departure from the hospital room. It had been so quick, so sudden – she'd already reverted back to her normal life (though she wasn't operating yet) and couldn't help but think that the whole thing had been a dream. She'd grown so used to Arizona's presence during her stay at the hospital. She'd seen her every day, and every time she opened her eyes.

Arizona was there every time she opened her eyes.

But this morning when Callie had woken up, there had been no one there.

When Arizona vanished from that room, it was almost as if she'd completely vanished from Callie's life. It was only a moment. It had only been yesterday. But the whole thing felt as though it were a dream, as though it had been something that she'd made up in her head during her stay at the hospital in order to relinquish her loneliness and relentless boredom.

But everything had felt so very real.

And she couldn't help but recall that distant gaze of Arizona's as she stared outside of the window before vanishing.

"Cal?" Mark asked, interrupting her train of thoughts.

"Oh. Sorry. No, not really. I don't have my eye on anyone. I'm just glad to be home," she assured him.

###

Callie exhaled deeply and stretched her arms out in front of her.

"Damn, I feel good," she declared.

"You are good. You've done great, Doctor Torres," her therapist noted, scribbling in his chart before nodding at her.

Callie looked back at him, and then behind him – noting the vacant spot near to the door of the room. The door that Arizona always stood next to in her previous sessions. But she wasn't there anymore. Callie briefly wondered if she could will her to come, will her to be there and then she would appear – and even then, she knew subconsciously that that was what she wanted. But she couldn't will her there. If she could draw her there, she would be there already.

But she wasn't there. Even when Callie wanted her to be there.

Had Arizona just been a dream? Some wonderful, bewildering dream she had during her stay as a patient?

She turned her attention back to her therapist, who was still scribbling notes on his chart.

"So when can I go back to operating?" she inquired.

"In a few days. Remember, don't jump on the lengthy surgeries immediately. Take it slow. You're still a resident and-" her therapist explained.

"I know, I know," she interrupted.

"Good," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

###

She wasn't quite sure why she was standing in front of the hospital room that she had left only yesterday. The last image she saw of Arizona seemed to be etched into her mind as she left, and it only continued to flash through her mind consistently throughout the day. She thought it had only been natural to recall the woman – to have her thoughts overflow with her. She was a ghost. It was normal.

But for the moments that Callie had recounted her, she had been a real image. She was most certainly there in front of her – in her mind, in her touch. She was there. Callie had not thought solely of her as an apparition, though that was certainly part of what fascinated her about Arizona. Certainly, Arizona was dead – but in front of Callie, she'd only thought of how pretty she was, how intelligent, how mysterious. Breathtakingly stunning, almost.

It was bewildering, she thought, turning the knob of the door to the hospital room.

"Arizona?" she called out, gently pushing the door open.

Her gaze was immediately directed towards the window, but she was surprised to discover an unknown face by the window, staring back at her curiously. She looked over to the hospital bed at once, and saw an older man sleeping. Her voice did not rouse him out of sleep. The man by the window had stood up now and walked over to her.

"Excuse me?" he asked her.

"Um, uh—sorry, I was looking for someone. I thought this room was empty," she explained.

"My father was just transferred here, can I help you with something?" he asked her, looking her up and down, noting her confusion.

"I'm sorry, I just got the wrong room!"

Callie turned to leave, but before shutting the door, she noticed the empty vase that was still aligned perfectly with the sunlight beaming through the window.

It seemed the lilies had vanished, as well.

###

Callie cursed under her breath, digging through her purse and fumbling with her keys. How could she have been so silly, she thought. If Arizona wanted to come, she would have certainly came. Her desire had, after all, meant nothing.

Maybe she was a dream after all.

She thought so, she really had – she was almost resigned to the notion that Arizona had been nothing but a dream, but then she opened the door to her apartment and saw Arizona sitting there on her couch, eyeing the door cautiously.

"Why are you here?" she heard herself saying.

She didn't know why she even questioned it, the fact that Arizona was there now, in her apartment, sitting on her couch, fumbling with her lab coat. Callie had wanted to see her. Arizona seemed nervous, her blue eyes bright – so strikingly bright. Why was she nervous? She acted as though she were in trouble.

"Well, you're the only one that can see me," Arizona replied, simply.

"I was looking for you earlier."

"I know."

"If you knew, why didn't you come!?" Callie asked, surprised by the tone of her voice. She felt like a fool.

"Because I thought that wasn't what you wanted. I know you wanted me there, but you seemed confused," she explained, "you still do."

"Of course I'm confused!" she exclaimed, "I don't get any of this!"

"I don't even know why I was looking for you." she continued.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't get it, either."

Callie only watched her from the door, not even knowing what to say. So Arizona continued to speak.

"You confuse me too, Callie. I don't know why. I've never been this confused before, this… this, struck before. I don't know what it is about you," she said, pulling intensely at her lab coat. She seemed incredibly nervous, Callie thought.

"But… I feel, I feel that you want me here, do you?" Arizona asked, "Do you, Callie? Do you want me here?"

"I guess… I don't know," Callie admitted, though she knew that a part of her did want her there, in her presence, in her life. But she was curious to know. "Can't you like visit other people or check up on someone else or something? Don't you have relatives or family or friends?"

Callie was undoubtedly glad that Arizona was there now, there in front of her. Yet, she hadn't come earlier. So where had she gone? Was she contemplating as well? She was clearly just as confused, just as bewildered by the idea of Callie as she was to her.

"I wanted to have fun," Arizona said, seemingly dismissing her questions.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I wanted to have fun with you," she corrected.

"Why me?" Callie asked.

"Because you acknowledge my existence."

"But you don't exist!" Callie fumed.

Arizona's shoulders flinched – it was almost as though she'd been struck. Her blue eyes widened, they almost seemed to glisten. Her shoulders slumped suddenly, and she looked down at the floor, averting her gaze entirely. She clasped her hands together and fumbled with her thumbs. Callie had struck a chord.

"I'm sorry," Callie told her.

She walked over to the couch now, and kneeled in front of Arizona, who still stared intently at the floor. She wasn't crying (could ghosts cry?) but her eyes were incredibly glossy. Callie saw that distant gaze again – that cloudy, glossy look in her blue eyes. That lost look. She clasped her cheeks so that Arizona would look at her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Arizona met her eyes now – the distant look gone, yet she seemed incredibly vulnerable to Callie.

"Even ghosts get lonely, Callie."

Her eyes remained the same, glossy and vulnerable and Callie couldn't help but feel incredible sadness for what she had just said. Callie was the only one who saw her. Throughout the entire time she'd been dead, however long that was, Callie was the only one who acknowledged that she was there. She gently stroked her thumbs against her cheeks – they were warm and flushed, almost as if she had been crying.

"Right," she murmured, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Arizona."

Arizona smiled at her – a gentle, simple smile. A kind of sad, heartwarming smile that made Callie's heart thump. And now, Callie had noticed their close proximity. She was close, so close. She would only have to lean her body upwards to meet the other woman's lips.

But she resisted and drew back, now standing up in front of Arizona. Arizona followed her movements with her eyes and now looked up at her, almost disappointed that Callie had moved away.

"Besides, you seem glad now," she suddenly said.

"I, I do?" Callie asked.

"I sense it coming from you."

"Of course you do," Callie retorted – she sensed that, among other things, she thought. She briefly wondered if Arizona could feel her overwhelming desire. This thought made her back away, just a little more.

"Um… so," Callie started to say, "do you want a tour of the apartment?" she asked.

"I would love that."

Callie stood up and walked to the middle of the room.

"Well, this is the living room," she stated.

Arizona laughed, "I can see that. Modern and edgy, it's nice."

"Is it really?" Callie asked her.

"What?"

"You don't seem so enthralled by it."

"Well, modern's not really my thing," Arizona explained.

"Seems like it," Callie grinned, walking over to the kitchen.

"I do like it, though. Especially your kitchen. I could totally see myself living here."

"Well," Callie murmured, "stick around, then."

"What?" Arizona asked.

"Well, I don't know. I know the hospital is your trademark, but you're welcome if you want, you know, to visit me," Callie explained, feeling her cheeks grow hot. She really had gotten used to Arizona's presence. She almost felt as though she'd been asking the blonde apparition to move in.

"I think I will," Arizona smiled.

Callie walked over to her bedroom, opening the door and ushering Arizona inside.

"And this is my bedroom," she explained, her arm moving in an exaggerated motion, as though she'd been presenting it to an audience.

"It's lovely," Arizona told her, walking over to her bedside. She scanned the room and looked at Callie's framed photos and books that sat next to the lamp on her nightstand.

"Wow, you look really pretty," Arizona remarked, glossing her fingertips over a picture of Callie and her father.

"Thanks."

"Is this your father?"

"Yeah, that's my dad," she affirmed, watching as Arizona intently observed the picture, marveling over the resemblance of the two.

"He seems like a nice man," she said.

"He is. The greatest," Callie grinned.

Arizona looked at her and smiled, placing the photo back in its proper place. The two only stared at each other, and Callie suddenly felt very nervous, having Arizona in her room.

"I have to go shopping," she suddenly declared.

Arizona looked surprised at the sudden remark, her blue eyes widening in confusion, "Shopping?"

"I need groceries and there's no way that Cristina will buy anything for this apartment," she continued.

"Oh, you mean your roommate, right?"

"Yeah," she affirmed, "but you can't go very far, can you?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you came here because it's right across from the hospital, right?" Callie explained, "but you can't go that far away from it, can you?"

"I can, I think I can."

"I thought you said-"

"I'm always drawn back… but," she continued, "I'm more drawn to you. So I think I could follow you wherever you went, really."

Callie suddenly felt her body flushed, and was aware of the hard thumping in her chest. Maybe it was a really bad idea to bring this woman into her room so easily.

"What?" Arizona asked, "you seem embarrassed?"

"Uh, well, that was quite a declaration, you know," Callie murmured.

And for just a moment, it seemed to Callie that Arizona blushed, as well.

"Well, you're the only one that can see-" she started to say, as if justifying her previous remark.

"Yeah, I get it," Callie laughed, cutting her off.

###

"Should you really be driving?" Arizona asked, as Callie secured the buckle to her seatbelt and turned the engine to the car on.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's not snowy, I'm not dizzy. We'll be fine," she assured Arizona, setting off to drive at once.

"Is this your car?" Arizona inquired.

"No, no way!" Callie laughed. "My car was wrecked. This is Mark's car. Apparently he started renting the apartment across from mine, so he doesn't need to use his car often," she explained, shifting her gaze to Arizona momentarily.

"Mark," she murmured, "that guy? Your best friend, right?"

"That's right."

There was a strange silence and Callie looked over to Arizona as she stopped at a red light. She was met with Arizona's strikingly bright and curious eyes.

"What?" Callie asked.

"Just a friend?" she grinned.

"Just a friend. We've got a slight history, but there's nothing to it," Callie assured her, briefly jumping at the sound of a horn behind her.

"History, huh?" Arizona inquired.

"What's with that tone?" Callie coaxed, playfully.

"What about this Erica Hahn person?" Arizona asked, as Callie made a right turn into the parking lot of the supermarket.

"How do you know about that?" Callie asked, surprised.

"People talk in that hospital. A lot. I listen. Nothing else to do," Arizona explained, shrugging as Callie drifted into a parking spot, now stopping the car.

"She was… an ex, I guess."

"So…" Arizona started to say, as Callie moved to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"You like women, then?" she asked.

Callie briefly looked up at her, again, aware of the close proximity between the two of them. Arizona sat on the passenger's side, looking at Callie with her clear, inquiring eyes as the latter woman fumbled with her seatbelt. She finally clicked it open.

"Yes," she said, "I do."

Arizona only smiled at her as Callie opened the door to get out. She waited until Arizona came out from the driver's side and shut the door to the car.

"Can't you just go through the car?" Callie asked, "it's such a hassle to get out that way."

"I told you before, I don't want to freak you out."

"You're not going to freak me out, Arizona," Callie assured her, walking out of the parking lot and into the supermarket.

"Fine," Arizona said, as Callie pulled out a list of groceries. She took a shopping cart parked in the corner and began to scan the aisles.

Callie suddenly realized that she was surrounded by a number of people. She couldn't speak loudly, even if Arizona was right next to her. To others, it would resemble a mad woman simply speaking to herself.

"So," Callie murmured under her breath.

"Huh?" Arizona asked, moving closer to hear her better.

"So you're just going to have to read my expressions or else you'll make me look really crazy," she murmured, darting her eyes back and forth, making sure that no one was looking at her.

"Okay," Arizona laughed, suddenly aware of Callie's dilemma.

As the two walked down the aisles, a woman came in the opposite direction of Callie – in a normal setting, Arizona's presence would have obstructed her movements, and she would have to move aside for the woman. But since Arizona was dead, there should have been no need for that. Yet, in that moment, Arizona seemed to leap, and suddenly, was levitating in the air. She pulled her knees closer to her body and then proceeded to fold her legs together, with her feet tucked just under her thighs – resembling a sitting position.

"Oh my god, you really can float…" Callie murmured, exasperated.

Arizona only glanced over at her and grinned. She looked down at Callie and shrugged.

"Well, I hate to walk through people. They always get a sort of chill."

Callie wanted to ask how, but noted the vast amount of people walking down the aisles. She connected her headphones with a built-in microphone to her phone so that people would assume she was talking to someone on the phone. She stuck the buds in her ears – Arizona watching her, clearly not understanding just what she was doing.

"What do you mean?" Callie asked, under her breath.

"Hmm?" Arizona asked.

"Show me what you mean," she murmured.

Arizona nodded and landed on the ground again. As another woman walked down the aisle, she demonstrated by walking through the woman – Callie was baffled. How could a person that seemed so real just walk through another? She wasn't even transparent upon doing so. The woman briefly stopped in her tracks, shivering, but quickly shaking off the peculiar feeling.

"Oh man, that is so weird," Callie said.

"Yeah, I told you," Arizona explained, reverting to her strange seated position in mid-air, "so I'd rather float."

"God, that is so weird," Callie repeated, looking up at her.

"Are you freaked out?" Arizona inquired.

"No, it's amazing," Callie laughed, pushing her shopping cart down the aisle as Arizona followed, floating just behind her shoulder.

"These look super delicious," Arizona pointed out, gesturing at some recently laid-out oranges.

"Can you eat?" Callie inquired.

"Hmm?"

"Do you eat?"

Arizona gave her a strange smile and then shook her head, "No, I don't. I don't need to eat or sleep."

"That sounds kind of amazing," Callie said.

"I guess. But you know, I sort of miss the sensation of a good dream or a delectable dish," she started to say, "it just… makes you feel human. Hunger. And dreams. But I am always day dreaming. I think I have a way of dreaming," she explained. Callie only watched her as she observantly stared at the oranges. Callie briefly saw that strange look in her eyes again.

"A way of dreaming?" she asked, eager to know more.

"A trance, I guess," Arizona said, "it doesn't happen very often."

"What do you mean, a trance?" Callie asked.

Their conversation was interrupted by a man who stopped his cart just next to Callie's. Arizona floated back to her position in the air and dismissed the thought.

"It's hard to explain."

###

Arizona went through the car this time and sat in the passenger's side as Callie placed the groceries in the trunk and sat back in the driver's seat.

"If you can go through walls and cars, how come you're not going through the seat?" Callie asked.

"If I wanted to, I could."

"Show me," Callie said.

"Do you really need proof?"

Callie started the engine again and laughed to herself.

"I guess not."

She set the car into drive again, but set out for another location, further from the apartment.

"Where are we going now?" Arizona inquired.

"I need to get some new sneakers."

During the drive, Callie often glanced back at Arizona, who observed the scenery from the window on her side of the car. She seemed enamored. She really hadn't been outside of the hospital, Callie thought. She wondered how different things appeared to be in Arizona's eyes. She wondered what Arizona saw the last time she was outside.

They made it to the shopping mall and into the shoe store, and even though it had been so late in the day, it seemed everyone from the city was suddenly packed into the mall. Callie supposed it was normal, since it was just around the time when many got off from their jobs, yet it bothered her a little – the fact that she couldn't actively interact with Arizona.

Callie sat in the store, trying on some sneakers. The store itself was relatively crowded so she was sure not to call out to Arizona. She often looked up to see where the woman had gone off to, but she wasn't too worried – for if Arizona floated, she could spot her immediately.

"Wow, wow, these are so cool," Arizona exclaimed, drawing Callie's attention from across the room.

Callie quickly picked up her chosen shoes and put them in the box, hurrying over to the blonde apparition. She was surprised to see Arizona pointing at a pair of pink and white heelys.

"Look, they have wheels under them! They're like shoes," she explained, "with skates attached! And you can practically turn them on or off as you'd like!" she gawked, marveling over it.

"A lot of kids buy those," Callie murmured, clearly not impressed.

"They're so cool."

"You've never seen heelys?"

"That's what they're called?"

"Yeah."

"No, I've never seen them."

Callie stood next to her as she eyed them intently. She seemed so enamored, as if it had been something she'd desired for so long. Arizona suddenly landed on her feet and looked up at Callie, before pointing again at the shoes.

"Can I try them on?" Arizona asked her, like a child asking for a toy.

To this, Callie rolled her eyes and looked around. There were so many people around.

"Please?" Arizona asked, "Please?"

"Can't you come back when no one is around?" Callie murmured, envisioning products in the store moving on their own after dark. She could see Arizona leaving the place in a mess before disappearing at dawn.

"There are cameras."

"So?" Callie retorted, though Arizona had made a fair point.

"Come on, Callie!"

Callie grumbled and crouched down to grab the box that Arizona had been pointing at. She walked over to a seat with her and took the shoes out of the box, fumbling with laces for a moment. Noticing Callie, a store clerk walked over to assist her.

"Um, ma'am? We have larger sizes of those, if you'd like to see them," noting that Callie's size of shoes was a bit larger.

"Oh, no – uh, these are for a friend."

The store assistant only nodded and walked off and Callie paused and placed the shoes in her lap. She briefly thought about how the skates would look to a normal person. If Arizona put them on, would they vanish? Or would the shoes just be moving on their own? No, either way, Arizona definitely couldn't try them on here, out in the open.

"What?" Arizona asked, noticing the pause in Callie's actions.

"You do realize the dilemma here, don't you?" she murmured, under her breath.

Before Arizona could respond, another store employee walked by Callie. She called his attention at once.

"Do you have a fitting room?" she inquired.

The man briefly gave her a strange look and then Callie thought that it had indeed been a strange inquiry – this was a shoe store, there was no changing room. "No…" he murmured, and she only nodded her head before he walked off again.

"You see?" Callie murmured to Arizona.

"Oh," Arizona said, disappointed.

"Sorry, you can't try them on," Callie said, putting them back in the box.

Arizona's shoulders fell and she gazed longingly at the box, disappointment evident on her features. Callie groaned.

"Oh, fine!"

###

Arizona eagerly slipped her feet into her new pair of heelys, tying the laces – Callie could see the glee and excitement she was feeling as she showed her how the wheels popped out from under her feet. She maneuvered them so easily and glided across the room – making a little snap each time she popped the wheels back.

Callie felt herself charmed. The woman was so ecstatic and happy, so pleased with her new gift. Callie laughed as Arizona lost her balance, breaking her fall by levitating. That was totally cheating.

"So would the heelys be visible while you weren't?" Callie suddenly asked her.

"What do you mean?" Arizona asked, gliding again across the room, though she kept her attention on Callie.

"Like, would a normal person see the shoes moving around on their own?"

Arizona showed no hesitation in her answer, though she briefly thought about it, "Yeah, probably."

"I thought so," Callie said.

"I don't pick up objects when people are around," Arizona told her.

"What about your clothes?"

"Huh?"

"Your clothes never change," Callie said, eyeing her up and down – noting the almost new looking scrubs and lab coat.

"They don't really need to," Arizona replied.

Her clothing was so kept – it wasn't as though the clothes could age and be worn out as clothes normally do when one wears them day to day – no, they weren't battered or ripped or even showing signs of age. They were flawless. Much like Arizona herself, Callie thought.

"You're always so flawless," Callie said, simply.

Arizona suddenly stopped, the wheels of her heelys making another click sound. She looked over at Callie and seemed to be blushing. Her cheeks seemed flushed and Callie felt herself suddenly enamored. What an expressive ghost, she thought.

"My clothes change over time," Arizona suddenly said.

"Huh?" Callie asked, snapping out of her daze.

"If I desire it enough, my clothes change over time," Arizona explained.

"When did you die?" Callie asked again.

To this, Arizona only sighed and turned her head, "I told you-"

"Fine, I won't ask anymore," Callie grumbled.

She stood up from the couch and went towards her bedroom.

"Callie—"

"It's fine, you clearly don't want to tell me," Callie said, not looking back at her. She heard Arizona follow after her and grab at her shoulder.

"It's just not important," Arizona murmured, softly.

"Why is it not important?" Callie snapped, turning to look at her.

"Because I'm already dead," Arizona said, again in a soft, sad, yet incredibly soothing voice, "so why does it matter?"

Callie's shoulders dropped and she looked at the woman standing in front of her. She recalled the fun, though peculiar day and the pleasant feeling she had just being with her. Arizona was right, why should it have matter? She was there now.

She briefly reached out and twirled a blonde strand of hair through her finger.

"So if your clothes change if your desire is strong enough," Callie asked, "will you suddenly have heelys on tomorrow?"

"Maybe," Arizona grinned.