Okay, so Chapter 6 (the previous confusing chapter) takes place during a scene in this chapter, only it was in AZ's perspective. I like to stray away from linearity at times – to peak interest, it's just a hobby of mine to thwart chronology (if any of you have read Compensation), but maybe I should have been more careful with this one.


Callie laughed into her pillow, feeling cool fingertips scurry across her back in a pleasant rush. She felt soft lips meet the back of her neck, and she felt herself being nudged around and watched.

She shifted herself so that she was laying on her back, and then she felt Arizona move herself so that she was hovering just above her. The blonde only smiled and then leaned over to kiss her softly.

It had been a while since Callie had become an Orthopedic Attending. She set her foot in the right direction after that successful surgery with Webber. So she had been doing well and scoring many surgeries. She also ventured to the medical library to explore with Arizona, who never did clean up the mess she often left each night. There hadn't been more stacks of books, though, because Arizona spent most of her nights with Callie now.

Arizona would show her the especially interesting medical journals and together, they would discuss its values and impact. To Callie's ever-growing surprise, Arizona had been very caught up with modern medical advances and the methodologies behind it – but being a ghost, she had no way to practice them nor did she understand the technology behind them.

So Callie helped her with that, showing her how to use other applications on her phone for research and entertainment. Arizona was especially thrilled to finally learn the practice behind much of what she had been reading in those journals, but she seemed more enthralled with the prospect of Youtube. And so, Callie left her to that when faced with long surgeries.

Now, Arizona hovered over her and kissed her with much fervor – it had become a common and exceptionally pleasing way of waking up for the past few days. But something kept Callie cautious and that was Arizona's own caution. She was exceptionally dominant. And despite wanting to feel and touch Arizona feverishly, Callie withdrew herself and stayed simply touching what skin she could or lacing her fingers around cascading blonde strands of hair that fell to her shoulders or tickled her face.

"Mmm," Callie murmured. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Arizona replied. She smiled brightly and kissed Callie on her forehead, as the latter sleepily smiled back at her. "Good dream?"

"I don't remember," Callie said, wrapping her arms around the blonde so as to let her fall on top of her. Arizona acquiesced and laid on her, placing her head on her chest. "Good night?" Callie asked.

"Mmm, I read at the hospital," she said. "And I put some books back on the shelves if that makes you happy."

"It does," Callie lied. "Not really."

Arizona giggled softly against her chest and Callie felt her hot breath tickle her skin. She ran her fingers through blonde hair and felt her heart rate begin to speed up once again.

"You, uh," Callie started. Arizona responded by looking up at her with inquiring eyes. "You should take off your clothes."

"What?" Arizona asked, surprised.

"Well, I mean," Callie said. "You always have your clothes on. And I don't," she continued. "You can feel me, can't you?"

"I can," Arizona said, hesitantly.

"I haven't… seen you naked yet," Callie murmured, suddenly embarrassed by her bold comment.

"I didn't realize that you wanted to," Arizona laughed, suddenly getting up and straddling Callie's hips, her knees on either side of her body. She smiled at Callie's startled expression and peeled off her top, tossing it aside.

"Why," Callie started to say, her hands itching to touch the newly exposed skin. "Why are you so," she murmured, as Arizona leaned down to kiss her. Arizona briefly silenced her with her lips before letting her speak again.

"So what?" Arizona asked.

"So human."

Callie didn't contemplate on whether her comment would hurt Arizona and she realized that maybe she shouldn't have said it, but she couldn't help but wonder. She couldn't help but wonder why she could feel Arizona so thoroughly – every sensation. Callie could feel it all against her body, she could feel her heart racing against her own when their chests were pressed together, and even through Arizona's clothes, she could feel her excessive heart rate. She could hear when her breathing hitched, when she gasped after hearing Callie come, when she sighed softly – she could feel the hot breath tickle her skin. She could feel Arizona's soft lips graze against her own, she could see how bruised they became after several passionate kisses. She couldn't help but wonder why.

The ghost's expression didn't change, she did not seem offended at all.

"Because I was human. I still am," she explained. "But I never felt that way, not once... not once when I realized I could walk through another human being, only to send chills down their body, not once did I feel human," she said.

Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's slender back and traced her fingers along the smooth, newly exposed skin. She traced the bones on her back, feeling them under her fingers as she listened.

"I retained my human form, I retained everything about myself. But I still didn't feel human at all. I couldn't touch people, only objects. I could only frighten, I realized. That was my only ability. To scare. Like a ghost. Fitting, huh?" she laughed.

"No one saw me, no one heard me," she said. "But then I met you. And that all changed."

Arizona brought her hands to Callie's face and traced her cheeks with the tip of her thumbs. "Because you saw me," she said, moving her hand to pull Callie's own from her back. She brought that hand to her chest. "And you heard me." She brought Callie's hand down to her pants, allowing the woman to slip inside of them. "And you felt me."

Callie slipped her hands inside the fabric and promptly into Arizona's underwear where she was immediately met with soft, wet heat.

"And you're wet," Callie finished. "Wow."

Arizona suddenly looked embarrassed, prompting Callie to grab onto her hips and flip them over on the bed.

"I can do the rest," Callie smiled, slipping Arizona's pants off.

###

Callie had never felt better nor more confident in her abilities as a surgeon, and now, as a lover. Arizona writhing under her had started a new storm in her chest – she had never witnessed anything so sexy before.

For a moment, she determined that the relationship was strange – it was different. Arizona wasn't a girlfriend and no one else could see her. How things would change if people could, she thought. Callie knew she cared for the ghost in a way that seemed to be immeasurable, and she knew that Arizona obviously cared for her, as well.

Callie suddenly wondered, was this continuous? She liked what she had with the ghost, whatever that had been, but how long was it to last? Arizona was dead but Callie was alive. Callie had her life to worry about, her future. She planned a lot in her future. Something that a dead woman could probably not give her.

Callie stopped in her tracks, she'd made it to the Pediatrics department, but that thought had suddenly made her stop in her tracks. And as if on cue, Arizona skated down the hallway, with her bright smile and curious eyes (Callie was sure the woman sensed her feeling) peering at Callie. She stopped with a clack in front of her, grinning.

Callie stared at her now, noting the doctors and nurses walking down the hall, turning when Callie would not move. They looked at her curiously, but Callie simply kept her eyes on Arizona, who started to worry.

"Callie?" Arizona asked.

Immediately, Callie heard, "Doctor Torres!"

Her silence was broken by a man behind her, a rather short man with black hair and plump glasses. She looked to his lab coat, and embroidered was the name "Donald Harris" – she immediately noted the "Head of Pediatrics" tag on his coat.

"Oh, Doctor Harris," Callie said.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" he exclaimed, reaching his hand out for her to shake. She took it and shook his hand, feeling a little strange because his coat bore the same departmental rank as Arizona's. But of course, he was the real one.

"Same here," Callie murmured.

"So, our patient is just down the hall. I presume that's where you were heading?" he inquired.

"Of course."

"Perfect, have you read the details?" he asked her.

"I have."

"Let's go then," he told her, immediately walking down the hall. Callie glanced to Arizona, giving her an apologetic smile. The blonde only shrugged and followed them now, down the hall.

They entered the patient's room to find a small boy settled in the hospital bed, along with a young couple, eyeing them cautiously. They seemed relieved by the doctors' presence. The boy did not glance up at the doctors, only at his parents.

And though Doctor Harris began his explanation on the child's condition and the extensive risks, Callie noted the boy glancing at each of them. His eyes fell to Harris, but then he looked over at Callie. And Callie noticed his gaze lingering to window, where Arizona now stood, looking out of the window. He looked back at Callie now, as she began to talk – urging the parents to reconsider the surgery.

But they refused. Doctor Harris asked to speak with them outside, which they hesitantly agreed to. As Callie began to follow him, she was stopped by the boy's voice. "Can you guys stay?" he asked her.

She looked over to Harris, who only nodded at her. "Sure, I'll stay," Callie told him, now allowing Harris to usher the parents outside of the room.

"So, Jimmy, huh?" Callie asked. "Is that short for something?"

"No…" he said, looking over to the window again. "How come she didn't say hi?"

"Huh?" Callie asked, looking over to Arizona now, who finally looked at the boy.

"What?" Arizona asked.

"I like your shoes," he told her. "I wanted heelys but my parents never got me any. They said I didn't need it cause it's dangerous and I shouldn't be walking around so much," he explained.

Arizona looked startled, completely baffled. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She looked back over to Callie, but Callie said nothing, either. She was as startled as Arizona was.

"You can see her?" Callie asked him.

"Huh?" Jimmy asked.

"That's Doctor Robbins," Callie said, pointing to Arizona. "You can see Doctor Robbins?" she asked.

"Is this a game?" Jimmy asked, innocently.

"Uh."

"Can I play too?"

But they were all silenced by Harris and Jimmy's parents, entering the room again. Callie looked over to the parents, the two seemed distraught and there were tear stains on their cheeks, indicating that they had been crying. Harris looked at Callie, also saddened by whatever they had been discussing.

"Again, I'll ask this again," he started. "Are you sure you want to do the surgery?" Harris asked.

They looked to each other and nodded, before telling him yes.

###

"He saw me, Callie!" Arizona exclaimed, unable to sit still on the bed. "He saw me!"

"I know, it's crazy," Callie replied. "How did he see you?"

"I don't know, I don't know! I remember him, he came in last year. But nothing like this happened," Arizona said. "I can't believe it, he actually saw me."

"I'm glad he did," Callie said, immediately trapping the blonde in an embrace before falling onto the bed with her in her arms. "I need a nap," Callie murmured. Though she had been planning to research more on the upcoming surgery, Arizona's excitement could not be quelled, thus, she had been urged into an on-call room.

"I wanna go talk to him."

"I know you do, Arizona," Callie said. "Me too, but his parents are gonna be there all day. We can go see him tonight," she explained, content just to cuddle with the woman in her arms. She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms tight around Arizona's body, in attempt to settle the excited woman. She seemed to finally settle in Callie's arms, softly kissing her neck.

"Maybe it's because I met you that other people are starting to see me?" Arizona asked in a small, but hopeful voice.

Callie considered her words for a moment, before saying, "I don't know, but I hope so."

"His surgery," Arizona started. "Are you really going to do it?"

"It's what his parents want," Callie explained.

"There's no way he'll survi-"

"I know."

"I've seen journals of it," Arizona explained. "Lots of them. Are you going to research?"

"I will."

"Let's go see him."

"Tonight, Arizona."

###

The complications of the impending surgery had only left Callie feeling distraught and rather hopeless. The entire thing seemed hopeless, and it depressed her even more due to Arizona's excitement. Harris and Callie only had a few days to prepare, but the man didn't seem to be much concerned, he already withdrew himself to the child's death and the parents', as he claimed it, stupidity.

His attitude left Callie angry – she thought that he shouldn't have been appointed head of Pediatrics, or even a surgeon for that matter, and she thought that Webber had made a poor choice in appointing him as such. She briefly discussed the matter with Webber, who only seemed to shrug her off. Arizona was furious, as she had been standing behind Callie during their discussion – she was furious at Webber's attitude, outraged that he would even be so dismissive, as if it wasn't in his character to do so.

As for the child himself, Callie hadn't gotten to know him much. She'd barely had time to actually visit and talk with him – though she certainly cared. She cared an exceptional amount for her patients, something Arizona once noted in the past week – saying that she had loved that about Callie, the fact that she cared so much.

And Callie did care – therefore, she buried herself into research even though Pediatrics was not her field and she was only a consult on the case. She had spoken to other Pediatric surgeons who only seemed to give dismal comments and advice, furthering the suggestion that it was hopeless. Callie was doing her very best to get help, to switch surgeons, to find different methods – anything that would save the child's life or extend his life expectancy a little longer.

However defeated she felt, she visited the child at least once a night – always finding Arizona there next to him, talking to him or playing a video game with him, though it seemed that he was teaching her how to play.

Callie found the two in the room, talking about nothing in particular. She checked his vitals and was looking over his chart, listening to the conversation between them.

"How come no one sees you?" the child asked, watching Arizona with wide, curious eyes.

"I don't know," Arizona answered. "I don't know why you're seeing me, Jimmy."

"I've seen you before, though," Arizona continued. "About a year ago, I visited your room, but you couldn't see me. Now you can, though."

"Am I special?" he asked her.

Callie listened, noting the brief silence that Arizona let by. She had no idea and she was sure that Arizona had no idea either. But the child had clearly become special to her. "You are," she smiled.

Arizona hadn't been with Callie most nights anymore – in fact, they barely had time alone. Arizona spent most of her nights in Jimmy's room, talking to him until he fell asleep and then going to the medical library to read more about his condition and everything that revolved around that. Then, when Callie would see her, Arizona would ask for her to come to the medical library wherein Callie would then be met with stacks of journals relating to the child's surgery.

Arizona had grown attached to the child, Callie discovered. It seemed Arizona suddenly had an idea – or something of the sort, but a thought suddenly struck her and she immediately stood up.

"Where are you going?" Jimmy asked her.

"I just need to read something, I'll be right back," Arizona assured him. "Callie will stay with you in the meantime."

"Can't you stay a little longer?" the boy asked, glancing at Callie hesitantly. It seemed he wasn't ready to open up to a new stranger after talking so much with Arizona.

"I'll be right back, I promise," Arizona said. "Callie is fun!" she said, before hurrying out of the room.

The room was immediately met with silence as the boy only looked at Callie, who looked back at her chart. She was finished with examining it and she wasn't sure what to do.

"So," she started. "Isn't Arizona the coolest ghost you've ever met?" she joked.

"She's a ghost?" Jimmy asked. "I thought ghosts didn't exist."

Callie wasn't sure how to respond, she didn't know that Arizona hadn't told the boy she was a ghost. He was old enough to understand the prospect of a ghost but young enough to not understand everything behind it, it seemed to Callie.

"Ooh, okay," he started. "That's why no one can see her."

"Right," Callie said.

"So does seeing a ghost mean I'm gonna die?" the child asked Callie.

Callie unintentionally dropped her chart, her eyes widened at the thought. She quickly picked it up and the boy couldn't help but notice her uncertainty.

"Of course not," Callie said.

The boy didn't seem to believe her, though. "Are you gonna die, too?" he asked her. "How come you see her?"

"I'm not going to die, Jimmy," Callie said. "And neither are you."

###

Despite her words of reassurance and despite her extensive research and Arizona desperately yelling into her ear in the OR, the boy died.

The flat line seemed to resound in her ears – Harris quickly called the time of death and walked out of the OR. And Callie's arms only dropped to her sides. She didn't feel Arizona's presence behind her anymore, the ghost had vanished. She stood there for a moment and looked at the dead child in front of her, briefly feeling her eyes well up.

After scrubbing out, she found herself walking in the direction of the now empty hospital room. And there, she found Arizona standing there, looking outside of the window with that faraway gaze she couldn't quite name.

"Arizona," Callie said from the doorway.

"You did good, Callie," Arizona said. "You worked hard. You always do. You worked really hard. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, Arizona."

"No, I am," Arizona said, smiling sadly. She turned to Callie now and looked at her from the window. Her eyes seemed to gloss over. "He's dead now."

Callie said nothing, but watched as Arizona fumbled with her hands, confused by her own emotions.

"How come I can't see him?" Arizona asked.

"What?"

"How come I can't see him?" she asked. "If he's dead, why can't I see him?"

"Why did he only see me when he was about to die?" she asked, her voice changing tone. "Not before, not after… only when he was about to die. Not when he was healthy, not when he died… only at that stupid moment when you're sort of just stuck between the two."

Callie watched her silently, shutting the door behind her. She locked it now, and stood there, watching Arizona.

"Isn't it funny?" Arizona laughed, though it came out in a choked cry. "Isn't it strange? Sad, even? I don't know."

"Arizona?" Callie asked.

"I feel like a stranger to my own life."

Callie said nothing, she could say nothing. What could one possibly say to that? She only stood there and watched Arizona, who started to cry – the first time, it seemed, she started to cry.

"But this isn't a life," Arizona cried, covering her hands with her face.

"This isn't a life," she repeated.

"Arizona…"

"Callie, I want to go," she said, desperately.

"You want to go?" Callie asked, softly.

"I want to go, sometimes I want to go, just leave, go somewhere, but I don't know where," she cried. "Where can I go?"

"Arizona…"

"I'm just stuck here!"

"You're not stuck…" Callie murmured, walking over to her now. She took her in her arms, but the blonde only pushed her away.

"I'm sorry, I can't."

"Arizona?"

"I need to," she started, her cries obscuring her speech. "I need to go and think for a while."

"Then let's go," Callie said.

"Alone, Callie," she said. "Alone."

###

Callie opened the door to her apartment, expecting to see Arizona seated on the couch, waiting for her. Her disappearance earlier left Callie nervous; it was an incredibly nerve-wracking day. The ghost needed space to think on her own, to distinguish what she was feeling. She needed to get away, as she explained, and so she had – but Callie had expected to see her sitting on the couch when she returned.

But in the place Callie expected to see her, there sat Cristina Yang, flipping through the same journals she had been reading for most of her downtime.

"Hey…" Callie greeted, slipping off her shoes and closing the door behind her.

"Oh, hey."

"Uh," Callie started, briefly scanning the room for any trace of Arizona. But she wasn't there. "What's up? Work today?" she asked.

"No, I'm on-call, though."

Callie walked over to the couch and briefly examined the woman who seemed to take no notice of her strange attitude. Callie stood there in silence while Cristina flipped another page to the journal.

"Heard about the kid," Cristina said, her eyes never leaving the page. "Sorry."

"Yeah," Callie murmured, though really – the mentioning of the child had struck a chord. She was saddened by the child's death – but even moreso by Arizona's response to the child's death. It was bewildering.

"There was no way you could have saved him," she said. "That was the last resort."

"Yeah," Callie said. "His parents wanted it."

"They're stupid," Cristina said. "They should have just let him live out the rest of his life."

"There's no judgment here, Cristina. They were looking for a possibility to have more time. When you're a parent, you don't give up."

"Right," Cristina said, shutting the book. She walked over to the window and tossed it in the box, then walking to the direction of her room.

"Well, sorry," she said, before shutting the door behind her.

"Uh huh," Callie murmured, defeated. She sat on the couch now and laid back, staring up at the ceiling. But perhaps driven by Cristina's last words, she walked over to her room and entered it. She discovered Arizona curled up on her bed, wearing her oversized pajamas. Callie quickly shut the door behind her and walked over to the bed.

"My pajamas?" Callie asked.

"Mhm," Arizona murmured, burying her head into Callie's pillow, face first.

"What if Cristina entered my room?" Callie asked. "Those aren't yours, Arizona," she said, in an attempt to banter with the ghost.

"I just," Arizona started. "I just wanted to feel enveloped by you," she explained. "Surrounded."

Callie felt a rush from her words, her heart sped up – but it was not desire that overtook her, only passion. Passion for this woman.

"Everything smells like you here," Arizona said. "And I like it."

"You could have just come to me."

"It's not enough," Arizona said. "I need to touch you."

Callie moved in closer to her and laid next to her, gently pulling her closer. Arizona moved in closer, her body pressed against Callie's own. She brought her hand up to Callie's chest, just above her heart, and then gripped the fabric of her shirt tightly.

"I need to know that you're there, I need to feel you," she said. "I need to know that I'm here, that I'm real."

"You are," Callie said. "You are."

"I need you to know that, Callie," Arizona said, her eyes quickly glossing over. "You're the only thing that makes me real."

"Arizona…" Callie murmured, gently rubbing her back as she began to cry against her chest. They stayed like that for a while, with Callie gently rubbing Arizona's back as she sobbed against her chest. Callie did not use her words to press her – she remained silent, believing that that was what the other woman wanted. But suddenly, Arizona grew still in her arms.

All at once, the sobbing stopped – the cries faltered and she simply grew still. Callie kept rubbing her back, but did not feel Arizona's breath against her clothed chest anymore – she did not feel the wetness of the tears staining her shirt. She didn't feel anything – just the stillness of Arizona against her body.

"Arizona?" Callie asked.

She was only met with dead silence. She wondered if the woman had fallen asleep for just a moment, but quickly recalled that Arizona never slept. She pulled away from her so as to look at her face. She was met with cloudy blue eyes peering at nothing in particular. Lifeless eyes.

"…Arizona?" Callie called again, brushing her hair back.

She observed her face – Arizona wore a blank expression, her eyes were half-closed, and the striking blue was gone, it was only a dull blue she saw now. There was no glow to her eyes as there always was. There was nothing.

"Arizona!?" Callie asked again, shaking her shoulders. Arizona did not respond, it was as though Callie had been shaking a doll – something like a lifeless corpse. It startled her. She shook her harder this time, but Arizona did not blink, she did not breathe or say anything.

It was only a moment. She shook her again and was ready to jump out of bed and do something, anything – but then Arizona blinked. A single blink and the color in her eyes were back – that marvelous blue had returned, along with the glow of life. She blinked again as Callie watched her, this time shaking her gently.

"Arizona?" she whispered.

"…Callie?" Arizona asked.

"Are you okay?" Callie asked her, worried.

"I sense panic from you," Arizona said, softly.

"Because you weren't responding," Callie said. "It was almost like you," she continued. "Like you died."

"Oh," Arizona murmured. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Are you okay?" Callie asked her, gently rubbing her shoulders. "What happened?"

"That was," Arizona started. "That was a trance."

"A trance?"

"I went somewhere."

"What?"

"Remember when I told you that I daydream?" she asked. "It was sort of like that."

"What did you daydream about?"

Arizona laughed softly, moving closer to Callie on the bed. "Richard Webber in a car."

"Seriously?" Callie asked.

"Seriously."

"I was worried and you were having a daydream about the chief?"

"And I was next to him," Arizona continued. "And he was yelling at me."

Callie laughed softly and ran her fingers through Arizona's hair, gently pulling her closer.

"Are you that afraid of him?" she questioned. "He's not that scary."

"He can be," Arizona said. Callie only nodded and waited for her to continue.

"That trance taught me something, though."

"What?" Callie asked, as the blonde nestled her way into her arms and laid her head comfortably on her chest.

"I might just have to let go," Arizona said. "And embrace the now."

Callie felt her heart leap in her chest. Something about the way Arizona had said that made her feel strange. And sensing her feelings, Arizona began to speak.

"Why are you uncertain?" Arizona asked, looking up at Callie.

"I don't know."

"Callie?"

"I, uh," she said. "What do you mean 'let go?'"

"Someone once told me to let go," she explained. "Let go of the past, let go of the things we can't or couldn't change. That's what I need to do."

"…Oh," Callie murmured. "I'm sorry about Jimmy, I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

"There are some things we can't change, Callie."

Callie nodded and held Arizona tighter, worrying about her words – worried for the way she suddenly seemed dismissive. There were some things that couldn't be changed. Callie couldn't save that child.

And Callie couldn't bring Arizona back to life. She thought back to just moments ago, where the ghost seemed to slip away from her.

"Arizona, does that happen often?" Callie asked. "You scared me."

"No," Arizona said. "Not often."

"…Okay."

"Callie?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere."


Arizona's unseen "trance" is regarded for in the previous chapter when briefly given exposure to Arizona's perspective (as this chapter, like most, is in Callie's perspective). The last chapter pretty much takes place during her trance in this chapter. While Callie is looking at her and wondering why she isn't responding, Arizona is having that "dream". Sorry for the confusion. I hope that clarified things a little better.