This beautiful morning in Camelot found me helping Morgana prepare to visit her father's grave. She almost always returns overly emotional, so the rest of us walk on eggshells for a couple days afterward. Still, I sympathize with the desire to visit her lost parent. If I knew where my mother was buried I'd probably visit her too. I stepped forward to help her mount her horse, which involved manhandling her cloak.
I caught Guinevere looking at me and I stopped for a moment to glance back. We've never talked about what happened between us in her home, besides the one time after the tournament. What she must think of me . . . but I can't go back to seeing her the way I used to, like a simple servant. It appears she can't return to how she saw me either.
"I hope your journey isn't too distressing."
"Thank you, Arthur."
I turned to instruct Sir Robert, who was accompanying Morgana and Guinevere for their protection. "Ensure that you make it back to Camelot before nightfall."
"Yes, Sire," he replied. As they rode off, Guinevere turned to glance back at me. She seemed to want to say something. I understood; I wanted to say something back.
The mood was broken when I heard Merlin come ambling down the stairs with the target and crossbow. He saw the ladies' entourage. "Where are they going?"
"Morgana's on a trip to her father's burial place." I continued to watch until I could see them no more.
xxxXxxx
Dusk came and went, but Morgana's party hadn't returned. I requested and received and audience with Father, which was granted right away for once. "Morgana's group hasn't returned to Camelot. There's no trace of her anyplace."
"Dispatch riders to the remote villages. I need every guard and sentry seeking her."
"I'll send them at once." I nodded to the knights behind me to follow as I left. I tried not to think about what could be happening to the two women at this moment. That struck me—I had two women to worry about now.
After I'd dressed in armor, we left immediately. We didn't have to go far before we reached the scene of the attack. Dead men, both Camelot's and bandits' lay around. "Check to see if anyone's living!" I dismounted and walked to one of our fallen guards. I examined the sword sticking in his body, "It's Mercian craftsmanship."
Merlin walked past me and said, "Arthur." He went to the fallen form of Sir Robert and pulled a piece of parchment pinned to his back by a crossbow bolt, "It's a ransom letter! They've taken Morgana hostage."
I looked down at the forest floor. Luckily it was soft enough to hold impressions. "Footprints head off this way," I said, before running into the woods, leading a few men.
We treaded lightly through the woods until I heard running footsteps. I paused and handed my sword to the knight behind me in exchange for a crossbow. I ran forward to hide behind a tree for cover then jumped out to find a startled Morgana. She gasped in terror. "Where's Guinevere?" I asked.
While I did a mental head slap for that lapse, Morgana just looked at me and shook her head. What was that supposed to mean? Is she dead? Hurt and alone? Recaptured? Unfortunately none of that would matter to Father; we had to get Morgana back to Camelot.
xxxXxxx
We rode back quickly, only taking time for Morgana to get dressed and cleaned up a bit. She didn't even want her wounds dressed. She was desperate to see Father and plead with him to search for Guinevere. We walked to the council chamber quickly enough, but she outstripped me and reached Father first.
Father stood upon seeing her and took her hands. "It's such a relief to find you safe and sound. I couldn't stand the idea of anyone hurting you."
I walked up to stand next to them while Morgana said, "The bandits still hold Gwen."
I elaborated, "I believe they were Mercian. We've heard rumors that Hengist has crossed the border."
"Hengist?" Father queried.
"You need to dispatch a rescue party." She nearly cut across him.
"If Hengist has her it would require a small army to rescue your maid," Father replied. That much was the truth. Hengist is one of the most brutal warlords known to us. I remained silent; I was already planning how I could get to her if there were only one—or two—of us.
"We can't leave her there!" She was getting more and more agitated.
"How many troops would you have me throw away to rescue a servant?"
"As many as it takes! Gwen let herself be captured so that I could escape. I owe her my life."
"She did so readily, and she will be revered for it." Father turned and walked away, but she wasn't letting this go. She followed him and grabbed his arm.
"I don't want her revered, I want her saved!" Oh no; now her famous temper was being unleashed. There was a pause before she continued, quieter, "She is not just my maid. She's my friend."
"A servant is of no use to these bandits. I'm afraid she's dead by now." Unfortunately that was probably the truth too. I'd been avoiding thinking about that possibility.
There was another pause as the ramifications hit Morgana. "No! We can't lose hope!" She walked over to me. Uh oh. "Arthur? I'm beseeching you. You must do something."
"Father's correct. I fear there's nothing we can do," I said with an impassive face. If I'd said otherwise, Father would probably explode. But I was feeling exactly the opposite inside.
I hated seeing that look of condemnation on her face. "How can you say that?!" Gaius began walking toward her. She looked around at everyone as he began guiding her out of the room. "How can you live with yourselves?! All of you!"
"Perfect Prince Arthur" stood there, watching her leave. But inside I was a mess. I totally empathized with her—Guinevere was much more than a servant to be discarded when convenient. My plan was already firming up in my mind. Guinevere would not be left to that brutal dog.
xxxXxxx
Upon entering my chambers after that fiasco, I immediately began gathering items I'd need for my impromptu trip. Normally this would be Merlin's job, but as we needed to leave yesterday, I sent him to pack his own things. Predictably, Hurricane Morgana burst in just a few minutes later. Apparently Gaius had had no luck in calming her.
"How can you be so unfeeling?! Gwen is the most caring, devoted person that you would ever find, and she has been more than a friend to all of us! And you would abandon her to the mercy of those monsters!" I continued packing through her tirade.
Time to break in, "Morgana . . ." She may have taken a breath while I said that.
"Have you no shame? Do you only think of yourself?"
Try number two, "Morgana . . ." She wasn't having it.
"I knew you were many things, Arthur Pendragon, but I never knew you were a spineless coward!"
I was going to have to raise my voice to get more than a word in edgewise, "Morgana!" I finally had her attention, "Maybe if you stopped yelling at me for one second, you would note that I am packing."
She looked contrite. "You're going after Gwen," she said much more calmly.
"Obviously I'm going after her. What did you think I'd do? I couldn't oppose Father in public." I slung my saddlebag over my shoulder and started walking out.
"Arthur?" I stopped and tuned at her voice. "Bring her home."
xxxXxxx
I met Merlin at the entrance and we crept down the stairs to hide behind a cart. Having to deceive my own guards wasn't anything I'd ever imagined doing. But defying Father required clandestine operations. Obviously. "I'll go and get the horses, you distract the guards," I directed him. I got up to head for the stables.
"Wha . . . how do I do that?" was his reply. Clandestine operations were obviously not his forte.
I was already exasperated. "I don't know. Do I have to think of everything?" And I left.
When I returned, I found the guards lying amongst barrels on the floor. Huh . . ? "What did you do? I said distract them, not put them to sleep!"
I looked at him, he looked at me. "There's just no satisfying you sometimes." What? I decided to give it up as a lost cause. We needed to leave.
xxxXxxx
We rode all through the night. I doubted I could sleep anyway—thoughts of torture and death were endlessly running through my mind. So I didn't notice Merlin had fallen off his horse until I heard said horse whinny followed by a crash into the foliage. I turned my horse around to shout at him, "What are you doing, Merlin?"
He looked up at me; I rode closer as he spoke, "I must've dozed off. Ugh, I'm exhausted." He dropped his head to the ground with a sigh. I uncapped my water bottle and emptied it on him as he said, "I can hardly keep my eyes open." Despite that pronouncement, he opened his eyes and lifted his head again, "Thank you. I feel so much better."
I gave him the severest look I could manage. "Guinevere's life is in danger. We don't have time to waste a second."
He got up with an, "Ugh," and we got going.
After a few more hours I relented and we stopped to rest. Merlin found a cozy tree and immediately curled up and fell asleep. I wasn't so lucky; my thoughts kept spinning out of control and denied me rest. After a couple more hours, I re-did my water bottle trick on Merlin's face. He'd probably sleep all day if I let him. "Merlin!" As soon as he stirred awake, flailing like a fish out of water, I walked off.
"What's happening? Was I asleep long?"
"Long enough."
"Did you get any rest?"
"Couldn't sleep."
He fixed me with a curious stare. "I haven't ever seen you like this. About anyone." Oh no. He figured it out?
So much for readying my horse. "What are you prattling on about?"
"Gwen. You really care about her, don't you?" Great, I had to be right. A diversion is in order.
"What I care about is not squandering any more time chatting. Let's get going."
xxxXxxx
We halted at the tunnels of Andor, a set of interconnected caves infested with some of the largest, most vicious rodents around. I was betting Merlin didn't know about them. I pulled out a map to check our options. I'd really rather avoid the tunnels, but in the interest of time, it didn't look possible. "The ransom is supposed to be taken to the Veil of Denaria. If they're keeping Gwen anywhere, it has to be there. That means it'd cut a day's riding if we go through the tunnels of Andor."
I must have looked pretty grim, because Merlin said next, "Oh, no. I recognize that face. I'm not going to like this, am I? What's in the tunnels?"
I tried to downplay the danger by staying monotone and not looking at him. "They're . . . crawling with Wilddeoren."
He was starting to get spooked—I could sense it. "What are Wilddeoren?"
"Well, they're like massive . . . baby rats." I held my hands wide to indicate "massive," but narrowed them when he looked panicked at that word.
"Baby rats? They don't seem so awful." He hasn't heard the worst part. I looked away again.
"They feast on human flesh." I tried to mutter it quickly, but it was too late. He'd heard.
"Perhaps we ought to go over the mountains." Ah-ha. Fortunately he doesn't make the decisions. I looked around for something that would help sway him. I saw bushes of Gaya berries—they stunk so bad they may just confuse the Wilddeorens' sense of smell.
Merlin followed me with his eyes, obviously thinking I'd lost it. He may be right. "Er . . . what are you doing?"
"Wilddeoren are totally blind, they hunt by smell. Gaya berries will confuse the scent. So, if we coat ourselves with them, maybe we can go through the tunnels unnoticed." That seemed reasonable to him, so he found his own bush to pick from. I smeared some of the foul things on my face. Merlin copied me until the smell hit him.
"Oh! Oh, these reek! Oh, they're really nasty."
Looks like I was going to have to point out the obvious, "Maybe you'd rather be eaten alive."
"Hand me some more, will you?" That snapped him out of it. I smeared some on his face. Well technically that was handing him some.
We made up two torches, got our gear and headed into the tunnels. This will not be fun.
After a few minutes, Merlin walked too close and trod on my foot. "Ah! I just stepped on something," he yelped (predictably).
"That was my foot," I muttered back.
"Oh, sorry." He sounded sincere at least. We walked a few more paces."How much further is it?" As if on cue, a Wilddeoren cry sounded in the not-too-far-off distance.
"Shh!" I saw moving shadows in the scant light ahead, so I threw our torches to the ground and stomped them out. "Wilddeoren coming." We dropped behind a long protruding rock formation to hide. A single Wilddeoren crept toward us, sniffing.
"Whatever happens, stay absolutely still." It came right up to Merlin, sniffing him then licking his face. That was one of the more disgusting things I'd ever seen; too bad I couldn't move or talk. He'd get a good ribbing for that later! It wandered off and we got up to leave. Quickly.
xxxXxxx
A seemingly interminable amount of time later, we finally made it out of the tunnels. Luckily I could hear a stream nearby so we made our way down to it. Mostly to wash the berry bits off. My theory really had panned out! "Gaya berries worked. Huh."
Merlin paused in his washing. "You didn't know if they worked?"
"Not for certain." I stood up. He followed suit.
"Now you tell me?!" He sounded incensed. Justifiably so. "'Oh! Oh, what's that Wilddeoren dining on? It's okay. It's just Merlin.' You aiming to get us both killed?"
Oh all right, he deserves an apology, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't've endangered your life like that."
I should have sensed his change of mood. Unfortunately for me, I didn't. "Well, they do say love causes you to do bizarre things."
"What are you chattering on about?" Oh no, not again.
"Why can't you simply confess your feelings for Gwen?" Yep, again.
I scoffed, making a dismissive sound, as if to say, "Yeah, right."
That didn't put him off. Of course not. I bent over to pick up my sword and sheathe it. "It's so clear. A blind man could see it. Is it truly that hard to confess you like her? Just say it."
Fine. I turned around agitatedly. "I can't!" His face fell; now he's getting the picture."How can I confess that I think about her incessantly? Or that . . . I care about her more than anyone else. How can I confess that . . . I don't know what I'll do if she's hurt?" It was too much; I had to look away.
"Why can't you?" It's not obvious? Really?!
Well, the secret's out now—might as well get it all out. "Because nothing can ever happen between us! To confess my feelings understanding that . . . aches too much." There. Please stop asking questions.
"Who said nothing can happen?" Argh!
"My father won't let me save a servant. Do you really think he'd let me marry one?" Oh oh, I didn't mean to admit I'd thought that far out.
"You want to marry Gwen?" Yep, he'd picked up on it. He was surprised though.
"No! No . . . I . . . I don't know . . ." He put up his hands in resignation. "It's a dream, and that's all it can ever be." I turned away again.
"When you're King, you can change that." Where did this hope come from?
"I can't assume Guinevere will wait for me." Why would she? I can't set a date on my ascension to the throne. Father is healthy and strong; he has many good years left.
He walked toward me; that goofy smile was back. "If she feels like you do, she'll wait for you."
"We don't know if she's even alive." Am I determined to stay depressed or what?
"No, she is. We will get her back." How did he know? I could use some of that hope and optimism. I could see he meant what he said and that helped.
I turned. "Come on. We've got a lengthy walk ahead." Then I thought of something that needed to be said before all of Camelot knew my secret. I swiveled to face him again. "Oh, and Merlin . . . if you ever hint to anyone about this, I swear I will make your life a living hell."
"You mean, more than you currently do?" Cheeky little . . .
"Yeah," I replied, faux menacingly. I turned back around to continue walking.
"We could chat about your feelings as we walk." He couldn't just leave it alone. He's getting my standard reply in situations like this:
"Shut up, Merlin."
xxxXxxx
Night had fallen before we reached Hengist's fortress. We surveyed it from behind the tree line. Unfortunately for us, it was well-guarded. I made a quick decision based on available unguarded entryways. "We'll have to climb the walls."
Merlin didn't like the sound of that. "Perhaps there's a different way in."
Once again I had to point out the obvious. "Why don't you try and knock on the front gate? I'm certain if you ask politely, they'll just give you Guinevere."
That got him moving. We crept stealthily to the short tower. I analyzed it briefly before pulling on some of the stones cemented to it. They would hold us all right, so I started climbing. Merlin, though reluctant, followed. We were most of the way up when one of his hands slipped and he gasped.
"You really are totally hopeless, aren't you, Merlin?" I looked down at him. His hand slipped again. As if I needed more evidence.
"It's . . . tougher than it appears." I resumed climbing at a quicker pace than before. "Oh, now you're just showing off," I heard him call up to me.
Before too much longer, we'd made it up and over the top of the tower. We walked quietly down to an inhabited floor. Why couldn't Merlin be this quiet while hunting? I wondered idly. We reached a room with a couple of guards and poked our heads around the corner to survey the scene. Two men were playing at dice. I decided on a plan. "You distract them. I'll knock them out."
Of course he had to ask again, "How do I distract them?" I didn't have time for this. I put my arm around him, as if I was going to whisper to him, then shoved him into the room.
"What are you doing here?" I heard a bandit say.
Let's see what nonsense he came up with here. "Nothing. It's a funny story really. I was out hiking and I made a wrong turn and here I am. Do you know the way to the Veil of Danaria?"
Of course they didn't believe him. "Who are you?"
"Me? Er, I'm no one . . ." He stammered. I stood up behind the two bandits. "It's him you should fear." He was nice and pointed at me behind them. I punched them in the face simultaneously. They fell to the floor unconscious, and we stripped them of their outer clothes. Armor would stand out here. We dragged them to a dark corner of the room.
"That actually worked fairly well." Why yes it did, thank you for pointing that out. We left the room.
We walked until we reached a great hall. It sounded like most of the population of the fortress was in there. Dozens of voices yelled, "Kill! Kill! Kill!" Underneath that, I heard other voices, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Suddenly one loud voice rang over all the others, "Release the Wilddeoren!" Not good. I heard a metal gate lift and the screaming cries of at least one Wilddeoren. I took that as my cue to begin the rescue. We entered the room as if we belonged.
An awful scene met our eyes. The bandits were yelling taunts and laughing. Through a gap in the crowd I saw Guinevere and Lancelot tied to each other in a cage, the Wilddeoren sniffing closer and closer to their position. I drew my sword and used a few backs to climb up and into the cage. I pulled off the mask I wore.
Guinevere yelled, "Arthur!" I cut open their bonds and tossed Lancelot a spare sword. I pulled Guinevere behind us and faced the rampaging Wilddeoren in front of us.
As we hacked at it, I made time for small talk. "What are you doing here, Lancelot?"
"I came to rescue Gwen. How about you?"
"Likewise." I pulled Guinevere as we shifted positions around the Wilddeoren, saying to her, "Get behind us." There was a sudden loud sound behind us to my left, but I didn't have time to figure it out.
"The tunnel is our only option," I said to the two next to me. Time to go. "Merlin!" I turned to see him crawling on the floor. Typical. "Don't sit there trembling, let's go!"
"Get them!" Someone, Hengist I presume, yelled. He came though the cage door the same time Merlin jumped over the top and into it. We ran through an entryway to a tunnel and turned to see what was happening.
"Take Guinevere! I'll keep them away," Lancelot yelled.
Guinevere protested, of course, "No!"
"Guinevere, it's time to go!" I yelled and pulled her down the tunnel. Behind us I heard the gate fall and a man scream. Hopefully that was Hengist and he was now Wilddeoren fodder. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Soon we heard footsteps behind us—Lancelot and Merlin had caught up. The four of us ran until we reached bars at the end of the tunnel. I tried to break the chain locking us in.
Now that we had stopped, we could catch our breath. "Good to see you two. Where are your knights?" Lancelot asked.
"It's only us. Need to keep moving." I don't think that consoled anyone. What happened next didn't console me. Lancelot reached a hand to help Guinevere up, and held on a lot longer than needed. And the way they smiled at each other was like a punch in the gut. I tried to refocus on getting out of here.
Guinevere went through the opened grate first, followed by Merlin. Lancelot grabbed my arm to prevent me going through. "Thank you, Arthur. We owe you our lives." I nodded and ducked through; he followed.
We walked until we mutually agreed we were far enough away to stop for the night. What was left of it. Merlin built us a campfire and we all sat on fallen branches around it. Lancelot sat next to Guinevere—was he claiming her? No one spoke for a while; only awkward glances were exchanged until Lancelot broke the silence, "I'm amazed you would take on such a rescue mission . . . with only the two of you."
I assumed that was directed at me. "My father would not chance the lives of his knights for a servant."
"And yet you defied him and came here anyhow."
I struggled with how to answer. I decided to go with a partial truth. A very small partial truth. "Honestly, I came simply because Morgana pled with me." I watched Merlin hide a grin; I silently willed him to stay quiet. Guinevere glanced at me, then away. Either she was disappointed or didn't believe me either.
She put a fake smile on her face and said, "I believe I'll get some rest." She then got up and walked off.
"Everyone should get some rest," I said, and got up to find my own place. As if I could with this situation happening around me.
As if he knew he was in deep water, Lancelot said, "I'll take watch for a while." He too got up and leaned against a tree.
"I'll just . . . sit here, then," Merlin replied offhand. Must be hard sitting in the middle of an obvious love triangle. That's the last thing I heard before I fell asleep. My mind decided to shut up after all.
Sometime later, I woke. I'm not sure how long I slept, but I noticed Lancelot was nowhere to be found. I got up and walked into the woods to clear my head. When I got back, I saw Guinevere and Merlin standing still, like they'd had a conversation. She didn't look happy and turned her back to me. I could guess what the conversation was about, but couldn't summon the energy to care. It was time to go. "We have a long trek ahead of us."
When we reached the horses, Merlin gave his to Guinevere without anyone asking. He walked the rest of the way home. No one said much of anything. What was there to say? We all missed Lancelot for vastly different reasons and needed to come to terms with our mangled feelings.
xxxXxxx
When we reached home, Merlin took the horses' reins and led them to the stables to take care of them. I nodded at Guinevere to follow me into the castle. Morgana stood at the top of the staircase, seemingly staring at nothing. I walked up the stairs, Guinevere right behind me so Morgana wouldn't see her when she looked at me. "Morgana. Someone's here to see you." As I spoke, I stepped aside to reveal Guinevere, who ran into Morgana's arms.
"Gwen! I believed I'd never see you again," she exclaimed. They turned around in their embrace, until Guinevere faced me. We stared at each other, this time not knowing what to say. I turned and walked tiredly back down the stairs.
xxxXxxx
After we'd cleaned up and changed clothes, Merlin and I headed out across the square on an errand. On our way, we passed an older couple walking arm in arm. The looked happy to simply be together. That caused a twinge somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach, but I couldn't let my love life, or lack thereof, color my interactions with others. I managed to smile and nod to them. Then I tuned back into what Merlin was babbling.
"Look on the bright side, you still have me." He noticed that look? Ugh.
"You believe that will cheer me up?"
"Thought it could."
"You really are a total idiot, aren't you, Merlin?" On second thought, calling him an idiot does cheer me up after all.
